Born of the Moon

Chapter 4: Alpha

CARAMIA:

I wake to the sound of a heart monitor and blinding white lights. My neck hurts and I feel a deep sense of exhaustion, like I could sleep for days on end. I force my heavy eyelids to open, but I still can’t make out the room with all the white light bearing down upon me. After a moment my eyes adjust and I recognize a familiar face smiling down at me.

“Caramia, Dear. Can you hear me?” My Mother’s tender face pulls me from my slumber.

“What happened?” I ask, my head throbbing and my recollection of events scrambled.

“You were attacked.” My Mother croons. “You managed to get back to the pack house just in time. The Doctors said if it had been a moment later you could’ve lost too much blood for them to stabilize you…” She looked at her hands, fidgeting nervously. “You went into cardiac arrest. Thankfully, you were already here when it happened. So, they were able to help you before your heart stopped.”

“What?” I ask, still feeling dazed. I understand what she's saying, but it feels wrong, like she isn’t talking about me.

“You had a heart attack, Caramia.” My Mother says again, her voice crystal clear now. She has never before used my name without adding the title of Alpha, not since my Father died. I choose to ignore it, because I can sense she has something to say and for her to say it she needs to be my Mother, not my subject.

“All the warriors have been talking.” She gazes into my half open eyes to be sure that I'm listening. I give her a slight nod to continue. “They’re saying you froze up out there.”

I look away as her words burn into my mind. “They’re saying you froze up out there.” 

The words echo around in my head, making the throbbing even worse. Not only did I freeze up, but I allowed another Alpha to give me a potentially fatal wound that almost took my life. I know what this will look like to the pack, if I hadn't survived they would have found themselves overrun by those traitors by the end of day, the other Alpha taking the Alpha title away from my family, having killed me.

If only I can explain why I froze, why I’d been vulnerable against her, but I can’t. Even if I wanted to, me admitting to her being my mate, would also be admitting that my mate is a heartless betrayer who tried to kill me and almost succeeded.

“They’re saying the new Alpha of that pack is also female?” My Mother asks, although her tone doesn't imply a question. I stare at her, searching her eyes... Where is she going with this?

“Yes.” Is all I manage to say through my parched mouth.

“Is that why you froze?” She asks, lowering her voice so that only I can hear her. 

I move to turn away from her, I’m too exhausted to have this conversation right now, but before I can fully turn she places a hand on my arm. “I am your greatest alley right now. The pack is shaken and I need to know what happened so that I can help guide the situation.” Her voice is stern, no trace of the Motherly tenderness I have grown accustomed to.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to lie to her, but I can never tell her the truth. Not only that my mate is a woman, but that she is also a traitor.

I decide to go with the only part of the story she might be able to help me figure out. “She could speak to me.” My Mother gives me a confused look, not understanding my meaning. “Inside my head.” I finish and her eyes widen as realization dawns on her face.

“How is that possible? Only members of the same pack can use the link.” She muses, her brows knotting into a deep frown as she tries to come up with a logical explanation.

I reach over and grab a glass of water that had been left on my bedside table, downing it in one fell swoop.

“Unless…” She gazes over at me, her eyes wide. “When you pushed that Alpha off of the cliff and became Alpha of our pack, the same rule of succession would have applied to their pack. That could mean that you are also Alpha of their pack.”

I lower the glass from my mouth, licking my lips to offer some moisture to the cracks that are forming on them. I had never considered that, I'd been so occupied with becoming Alpha of our pack I'd completely forgotten that I would of course also become Alpha of their pack when I killed that black wolf.

"Why didn't we think of it before? You felt the Alpha link snap into place when that Alpha died, right? Your Father always said it was a physical connection to the power of the pack, that he could actually feel it when it snapped into place, and even after that, it helped him during some particularly difficult battles." My Mother continues, pacing up and down, lost in her thoughts.

"Yeah, I felt it that day." I answer her questioning gaze at my silence.

"If the way you killed that Alpha worked in solidifying your Alpha bond with our pack, then it would have worked for their pack as well." And there it was, the thought playing through the minds of every single member of my pack "-the way you killed that Alpha-"

My mother's eyes wonder around the room as she contemplates the possibility. "And you wouldn't have felt the bond to their pack, because both bonds would have snapped into place at the exact same moment."

“Do you think it’s possible?” I ask, meeting my Mother’s gaze.

“I don’t just think it’s possible, I think it’s probable.” She answers, her eyes stern, no longer my Mother, but the Luna of this pack.

“If the pack cannot wait for my recovery to hear the story from my lips. Then that is what you will tell them.” I say dismissively, my heavy eyelids demanding sleep.

“It would be customary for your Beta to give briefings in your absence.” My Mother corrects.

“You are here, he is not.” I say through clenched teeth. “You are still Luna of this pack until the ceremony, and Luna comes before Beta. I am asking you to give the briefing because I trust you and I believe that you are the right person to do it.” I continue, allowing some of my wolf’s steel to enter my voice. “Now stop questioning me and please just let me sleep.” I beg, back to being her Daughter.

“Of course, Alpha Caramia.” She smiles at me affectionately, squeezing my arm gently. “Rest up, your pack will like to see you as soon as you are better.” She rises to leave and before she’s out of the room I quickly add. “Send my Beta to me when you find him.”

She nods and leaves the room. It only takes seconds for me to fall back into the darkness. Images of my mate’s scarred face playing on repeat in my head.

What feels like only moments later, I jolt awake as someone calls my name.

“Caramia.” I hear Rex’s voice break through the fog of sleep still on me.

He says my name again and I sigh in frustration as my wolf growls inwardly. “You need to stop doing that.” I warn, eyes still closed.

“You’re awake, good. The Luna said you asked for me?” Rex inquires, ignoring my statement.

I can feel my wolf’s rage simmering and I am too weak to push her down. “I’m serious.” I reiterate, adding a little warning in the tone of my voice.

“About what?” He asks, dumbfounded. I open my eyes just to be sure that he’s not scr*wing with me. Is he truly an oblivious i***t?

“I am Alpha Caramia to you.” I say, my voice too weak in my bedridden state for the message to have the power I would like.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I kind of figured nothing was really set in stone until the ceremony.” He says casually, as if he did not just insinuate that I would lose my title to him.

“What did you just say to me.” I growl, sitting upright in bed. Feeling ready for a marathon at the rage coursing through me.

“Wow, calm down. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just don’t know if you even want to be Alpha.” He states coolly, as easily as if we were discussing the weather.

“F**k you, Rex.” I spit at him, too weak to do what I want to do, which is give him a solid right hook.

“Hold on, you’re taking this the wrong way. I'm just trying to help you.” He claims.

“Of course I want to be Alpha.” I retort.

“Okay, fine. You’ve just been miserable since you became Alpha and I’m not the only one who’s noticed.” He tries to explain, a frown appearing between his neat little brows.

“My Dad died, twenty, maybe thirty years before he was supposed to. He would’ve been here helping me with the transition when the time came and he wanted to step down.” I yelled, unable to contain my fury.

“I know, Cara-Alpha Caramia." He quickly corrects himself. "I understand, I am just trying to help you, but you have been pushing me away ever since that night and I don’t think it’s fair considering what we are to each other.” He continues in a calm voice and bile rises up in my throat at his words.

“If you want to challenge me, Rex. Go ahead.” I say in a low venomous voice. The words more from my wolf’s mouth than from my own. Risky, considering the state we're in right now.

“I would never do that, but I see now that you don’t trust me. Until the ceremony, I don’t think you ever will. Just ask yourself what you’re going to do if you do lose to me and have to become my Luna.” He warns and a growl escapes my lips. “I am happy whether I win or lose in the ceremony. I only want what’s best for the pack and no matter what happens, the pack will still have both of us in the end. Which way around I don’t really care. I only care that the pack stays with us and only way to be sure of that is if the strongest wolf holds the title of Alpha. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but you know it is the truth.” He finishes, failing to meet my gaze.

My wolf is still reeling, but I can’t help the guilt I feel at his words. It makes sense and I believe that they are sincere. What is worse is that what he is saying is true. Perhaps, I am not the right person to lead this pack after all. Too consumed with my own problems to care about those of the pack.

For a moment I see myself running with another pack, my mate by my side, her white hair flowing in the wind. I blink away the image, what am I thinking? She tried to kill me… I could never leave my pack, it would be an insult to my Father’s legacy.

“I’m sorry.” I say with a pitiful smile. “An Alpha never apologizes.” My wolf says in a dangerous whisper, but only I can hear her, so I ignore her.

Rex smiles back at me with a nod, accepting my apology. “So, the Luna said some interesting things to me.” I give him a look, knowing exactly what’s coming. “For someone who doesn’t like being Alpha, you’re extremely good at it.” We both laugh at that and for the first time since my Father died I feel like I might have a friend. No longer my competition, but an alley.

“I don’t even know how I missed that. I feel so stupid. Asking for a meeting when I could potentially be their Alpha. No wonder they were in wolf form when we arrived.” I say, rubbing my face in frustration.

“Yeah, it hadn’t crossed any of our minds. Do you want to be their Alpha? Because we’re ready, whatever you say, the warriors will stand behind you.” He insists with a reassuring smile. Somehow his words still strike a cord. It goes without saying that my warriors will stand with me, their Alpha. The way Rex says it sounds like he commands them, like they trust him more than me. I wonder if that's true? If so, I will need to come up with a strategy to change it.

“No, I have no interest in leading that pack of traitors.” I say in answer, trying to remain as calm as my wolf will allow.

“Well, we need to tell them that. We could perform a ceremony to return the power to their rightful Alpha.” He muses.

“We would need that Alpha to agree in order to perform it.” I point out.

“If she wants the power back she’ll have to do it on our terms. We have the upper hand here.” Rex argues.

“Yes, but first I need my strength back. Just give me a week and then we can arrange it.” I both command and request. Not wanting my health to look like a weakness.

“Of course, Alpha Caramia. I’ll let you rest.” He says as he rises from his chair.

“Thank you, Beta Rex.” I reply, glad that he is finally regarding me with the correct amount of respect due his Alpha.