Someday Soon, With You

Chapter 47

JOHN ANTHONY

It took a while before Flora allowed him to rent an apartment and live on his own. He understands, of course. He has history. But he won’t do it again. He didn’t know how hard he fell in love with Selena, he just realized it when she left. He sighed. It doesn’t hurt anymore, but he never fell in love again. Her father didn’t lie when he said she never went back home. He visits him from time to time, and she really never returned. It’s hard for him, how much harder it is for her father.

And then there’s TJ. He knew he needed to have himself back on track for his brother. It was him who suffered the consequences of his mistakes. He handled everything alone. TJ even went as far as using his college fund for his therapy sessions. How can he do that? TJ told Anthony he can’t withdraw from the account not under his name. Of course, he knew he’s lying. Aside from him being a really bad liar, for someone who handled everything so perfectly, withdrawing is just a piece of cake.

It’s Friday and he decided to stay at their house for the weekend. TJ really did go to the same school he graduated in, and took Architecture just as he did. It made him really happy. It brought him so many memories when he was still so sweet and always just running around the house. But him and TJ grew apart. He understands, of course. But it still made him sad.

“Mom, I was thinking about buying a car” he told Flora.

“It’s your money” his mother said.

“Do you think it’s practical?” he asked and saw his mom just smiled at him. “Why?” he asked.

“Well, it just made me happy that you never change” she answered. “You and your brother” he added.

“What do you mean?” he asked again. “And what do you mean me and TJ, I think he changed a lot” he continued.

“Well, he grew up is all but some things never change” Flora smiled.

“Like what?” he continued asking.

“You always needed my opinion” she started. “Which school do I think you should go to; is it okay for me if you move out; or is it practical to buy a car. You always ask for my opinion. And I appreciate it” she answered.

“And TJ?”

“TJ is your opposite. You always ask my opinion, TJ don’t. he likes to show me that he can handle himself. That he doesn’t need any help” she said.

“Really? I mean, that maybe the case now, or ever since we were rushed to the hospital. But he was really sweet when he was a kid. He always asked me about everything” he answered.

“That’s because he wants to. It was him who decided to follow you around, or take the same course as you, even go to the same college. He never really asked me” and then she looked sad. “Of course, it made me feel at ease that he can handle everything. But sometimes I wish he ask me for help, too” she said

He rubbed his mother’s back and hugged her. He never really thought about it that way.

The following week he bought a red car. “It’s nice” is the best compliment TJ can give. He laughed. Somehow, it got easier to accept how he turned out to be.

Three years later

That morning, TJ borrowed his car for an early meeting with Andrei, his brother and a group of people with high positions in the Royal Luna. It was supposed to be just a thirty-minute meeting. He just needs to drop his portfolio, introduce himself and then go back home. but it’s almost seven forty-five and he’s still not there.

Are you on your way home? sent. He texted TJ.

Not yet, he replied.

Is something wrong? He asked.

Nothing. TJ replied. Typing. I just saw my friend and I drove her to work.

Huh, he thought. He started typing again

I thought you have a meeting today? And sent.

He saw TJ typing on the screen, and then nothing. And then he started typing and stopped again. He laughed. It must be Mira. If he’s going to drive her to work, he should’ve just drove him there too since they were just working on the same company. Just different divisions. He doesn’t tell him what’s going on but he’s starting to get a pretty good grip on what’s happening.

A few weeks later

“Mom” TJ called.

“She’s already asleep” he answered him. He’s starting to spend a lot of time at home since TJ likes to borrow his car a lot. Of course, it made him happy since TJ is starting to ask him things like this again.

He nodded. He handed him his car key. “Thanks” he told him.

“You know, I thought you’ll have a little more free-time before your flight” he asked. TJ resigned from his work and decided to accept Andrei’s offer to work in Denmark. “Where were you?” he asked.

“I just had dinner with Mira” TJ answered.

I knew it, he thought. “Didn’t she have a boyfriend? The fireman?” he always sees him driving Mira to work and waiting for her every afternoon.

“They just broke up” he replied.

“Oh. You’re looking out for her” he said smiling a bit sadly. “That’s so nice of you” he said before sitting back at their sofa. He didn’t know he would scar his brother this much, to the point where he would even fear the same thing for other people.

“I wasn’t just looking out for her” he suddenly said. “I have a bit of a crush on her. That’s the reason I don’t want seeing her sad” he added.

Anthony smiled at him. Feeling touched that he shared that to him. “You’re on friend-zone” he teased him.

TJ laughed. “I am” he answered before going upstairs.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he found himself at Selena’s house again. More than a decade after they broke up. Of course, from time to time, he visits him but he never really talks to her father. He just looks from far away and he goes back home. He stared at the house. It got older already.

“Anthony?” Selena’s father called.

“Hello, Sir” he greeted.

“Ah, you finally decided to take a closer look” he said.

“What?” he asked.

“I always see you on that corner” he pointed at the part where he always stood when he visits but doesn’t have the courage to knock. “I thought you’re TJ” he said.

His eyebrows furrowed. “TJ?” he asked. Selena’s father just looked at him. “TJ comes here?”

“Once or twice a year” he answered.

Now, that’s interesting. “Why?” he asked.

He looked at Anthony, thinking about something. “He never told you anything, did he?” he asked. Anthony just stared at him. Selena’s father just sighed looking at him so clueless. “Your brother’s such a fine young man” he said and then opened gate of his fence wide. He drove his car out of the garage. “The red car’s yours?” Anthony nodded. “Follow me” he said.

They drove for about twenty minutes before arriving at a cemetery. He didn’t say a single word when they started to walk inside. They arrived at a shed with two tombs in it. It’s clean, with black tiles. The roof is also nice, it’s high. He looked at tombs and froze. Selena Montes. Her name. He didn’t feel his eyes blink for a long while and then he ran and threw up for a few minutes. He sat at the stone near the tree he threw up on. He felt dizzy and weak. He doesn’t know what’s happening. What’s Selena’s name written there?

“Son, are you okay?” Selena’s father asked. He was about to answer when he felt his stomach twist and he started throwing up again.

“What’s—, why’s” he didn’t know what to ask. “Where is she?” he asked when he gathered his thoughts together.

“She died when—”

“That can’t be happening” he firmly said. “She told me she’ll meet her mom and—”

“Celine? Yeah, I’m sure they’ve met already” he answered.

Anthony looked at tomb beside Selena’s and read it. Celine Montes. “But why? Why didn’t you just—” tears started falling down.

“You had the same reaction as your brother” he said.

Anthony looked at him, still confused. “TJ knew all about this?” he asked.

“Selena asked him not to tell you. I also asked him” he answered.

“How did he know?” he continued asking.

“He just happened to see us. He was also rather busy because you and your mother was rushed in the hospital. I remembered him blaming my daughter” he silently laughed. “But he stopped when she threw up, like you did” he sighed trying to remember. “We both asked him not to tell you. You tried to take your life just because she broke up with you. When you knew she died, it might give you more reason to try to take your life again. She doesn’t want that to happen so she begged me and TJ not to tell you anything. Of course, we both agreed but your brother is the only one keeping it since I am telling this to you now. But TJ asked me where her final resting place is. He visits her and gives her flowers every November, her birthdays and death anniversary. Consistently, every year. Sometimes he visits me at home too, but when I see some fresh flowers here, that’s when I knew he visited her already. When I saw you looking in front of the house, I thought you’re him. But he just visited yesterday, telling me he may not be able to give Selena flowers because he’s going far away” he explained.

“I still don’t understand. Why would he—”

“He might be scared too. He looked broken back when I saw him at the hospital. But he asked me where Selena’s buried, he said he’ll give her flowers in your stead” he said.

Anthony went upstairs and saw TJ folding his clothes with all the luggage at the side of his bed. He walked inside and just leaned at the table near his bed. TJ looked at him but continued folding his clothes.

“TJ” he called. TJ looked at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

TJ eyes turned wide and large. “What are you—”

“About you’re Ate Selena” he continued.

TJ dropped the shirt he was holding and it took him a while to answer. “I’m sorry, Kuya. She asked me not to tell you. She cried and she—” tears formed in his eyes and it fell. His voice is shaky. “I’m sorry Kuya. I—” he stopped and stared at him.

Anthony was also just watching him. Suddenly, he saw his brother. His little brother who jumps around his room just talking about anything that crossed his mind. He sat next to him and tapped his back. “And you were holding it in all this time?” he softly asked.

TJ’s tears continued falling. “I felt guilty all this time” he said, his voice broken. “I’m so sorry, Kuya” he continued.

Anthony hugged TJ. “You don’t have to worry about the flowers. It’s my turn to give it to her from now on” he told him while tapping his back. He felt TJ nodding.

“I gave her flowers every year so she won’t get mad at you” he said.

“Thank you” he told him while also wiping his tears. Now, she felt at peace. All this time, he thought him and TJ grew apart because he got disappointed in him, or because he’s angry of what he did. Now he knows that’s not the case. They were both feeling guilty about things they shouldn't have.

NAIA

“Why are your friends not here?” their mother asked TJ.

“If I get to decide, I don’t want you here, as well” TJ told their mother.

His sassy brother. “TJ, I was just thinking. Did you not tell me about it because you’re scared I might commit suicide again?” he asked when their mother was a little farther from them. She was pushing the luggage cart.

“No” TJ answered without thinking about it. “I knew you’ll get back up again. You’re a strong person. I just can’t break a promise especially to a dead person. I felt guilty when I told her before I don’t want her visiting home. What if she visited me the moment I broke that promise?” he said.

Anthony laughed. “She might be visiting me, though” he answered.

“As if she never tried to irritate me when she comes to visit you” he said making Anthony laugh. He ruffled his hair, like how he used to before. “That was harder now, isn’t it?” he said grinning. “Because I’m taller than you now” he added.

Anthony hugged him tapping his back. “I will miss you” he said.

“Me too” he answered.

Flora was wiping her tears watching his sons. It felt nostalgic. She watched them and saw how close they were when they were younger.