Someday Soon, With You

Chapter 45

Fifth year, Selena woke up nauseated. She quickly got up from bed but was stopped by a searing pain in her abdomen and down to her hips. She stayed in bed, eyes closed and sweats forming on her forehead despite feeling cold. After almost two hours, the pain is bearable. She got up and went to the bathroom.

“Why do you look like that?” her father asked over breakfast.

“First day cramps” she answered.

“Ah” he replied and continued eating. “How do you feel now? Do you need anything? Maybe you should just stay at home and rest” he said.

“I can’t do that, Papa. We’re on our last year now, we’re busy” she said.

“I just don’t want you overdoing anything. Given your health, you don’t need to rush things”

She sighed. She understands her father, but she can’t take her time. she wants to graduate with Anthony. “Don’t worry, Papa. I will come home and rest when I feel too tired” she said. Her father didn’t argue any longer and just nodded. But still, her pain every morning is no joke. She decided to go for a check-up after the semester.

“You should’ve gone back the moment you first had the symptoms” her doctor said. Three years after, she’s back and talking to her again.

“I thought it was just the side effects” she answered.

“It’s called a recurrent cancer. Unfortunately, yours is in stage four” the doctor added.

“Can’t we just treat it again? With chemotherapy?” she asked.

“I have to be honest, chemotherapy at this stage can only lessen the pain. The cancer has already spread to your other organs” her doctor tried to explain.

“I understand. How long do I still have?” she asked.

“Usually, it’s eight to thirteen months, but seeing your chart, maximum of six months” she answered.

She nodded. She felt dizzy just walking. She sat at the nearest bench. Six months. Is she going to spend that time studying?

She took a cab and went to Anthony’s house. She saw TJ practicing volleyball outside. He’s so tall already. He looked at her and put his palm up, making a ‘wait’ sign. He went inside and then Anthony came out.

“What are you doing there?” he sighed. “Why didn’t TJ let you in?”

“It’s okay, Anthony. I won’t be staying long” she said. Anthony went out their fence so they can talk outside. “I have to tell you something” she started.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I won’t be enrolling for the second semester” she answered.

“Why not? We’re already graduating, it’s not even a year. It’s just six months” he said.

“I have a situation” she said. She should’ve composed her what she’ll say first before going here.

“Like when you were in first year?” he asked.

“Yes” she answered.

“Can I help?” he asked again. “Is it financial? I can—”

“Anthony, no” she interrupted. “It’s family matters” she answered.

“Oh, okay. But we can still text each other, right?” he asked.

“I don’t think I’ll have the time for that” she answered.

“What situation is it that you won’t have time to even send one text message?” his voice is starting to rise.

“Anthony, I told you once that it’s only me and my Papa. Now, I have the chance to find my mom, and finally meet her again. This is a chance I can’t always have” she said trying her best not to falter.

“Oh, okay. Good for you. Good for you” Anthony said. “But still—”

“Anthony” she said. Not a shout, but trying to stop what he’s about to say. “I am choosing my mom over my Papa right now. Do you understand me?” she asked him. Anthony looked at her, realizing what’s happening between them. “I will be leaving soon and I will be leaving him” her voice cracked and her breathing is ragged.

“I can wait for you. When you meet her, you can do all sort of things. Five years, ten years is nothing. You made me yours, I think I can even endure twenty years” he said trying to convince her.

“No, no” she answered shaking her head. “Don’t wait for me” she said. Anthony shook his head and held her hand. He looked down, tears also starting to fall from his eyes. She touched his cheek, and kissed his lips. “The best years of my life started when I met you” she said smiling despite the tears. “Don’t wait for me” she said before walking away.

TRISTAN JAMES

They just finished their practice when TJ look at his phone. Five miscalls. All from her mom. He opened the text message and read it. She’s at the hospital, his brother overdosed himself with sleeping pills. He rushed to the hospital and saw his mother crying. They’re outside the emergency room. He saw his brother surrounded by doctors and nurses.

“TJ!” his mother cried. “How could this happen” she continued.

“Mom, it’s okay. He’ll be okay” he said trying to comfort their mother. And then suddenly, they heard a long beeping sound and saw a straight line from a monitor. He saw it multiple times in movies. His heart raced. No! His Kuya, who’s always been there for him. He started breathing unevenly, his eyes wide and looking at the doctors trying to revive his brother. Suddenly he heard something drop from behind him. His mom!

“Mom!” he shouted. No! No! No! “Help! Help me! My mom! Please! Please!” Hospital staff took his mother to the bed next to his brother and started to put the same apparatus they put to his brother.

He felt like there is a deafening sound ringing to his ears. He watched the doctors and nurses treat his mother and brother at the same time.

He looked at his mother and brother, still unconscious. Just a moment ago, he thought of the possibility that he might live alone from there on. Both of them, at the same time. It feels like all his guts were being tightly knotted. His heart pulled out of his body, and all he can do is watch it all happen. He asked for a semi-private room for the both of them. The doctor told him his mother suffered a mild heart attack. It’s not fatally dangerous but she needs a few days to two weeks rest. She can still engage in recreational activities, and simple exercises. His brother is another thing, he needs rehabilitation. He needs to be treated with the right psychological therapy.

“TJ, I asked your classmates for their notes. This is the photocopy” Yuan said, handing him the papers.

“Thanks, Yuan” he said. He took the paper and put it on the table.

“We’ll watch after them, TJ. Go home and prepare their clothes. You might stay for a few days here” Darryll said. He’s the team vice-captain in their volleyball club. “Yuan, you go with him, we’ll stay here and wait for you” he added but saw TJ just staring at his mom and brother. “I know this is a hard time, but you have to be strong. You don’t have any choice because your family needs you now. You can break down later, when they’re all better”

TJ looked at him and nodded. “I’ll return as fast as I can” he said.

“No. You take your time. Take the things you’ll need. Toiletries, clothes, books, pens” he said.

TJ nodded again. Daryll is right. He needs to keep himself together. His family needs him. Yuan’s following him when he saw a familiar car. He slowly walked towards it and saw Selena. His brother’s ex-girlfriend. He walked towards her and she saw him.

“TJ” she said.

“You” he started. “Everything’s your fault. My brother’s here, my mother’s here, all because of you” he said in a low sharp voice.

“What?” she asked looking so worried. TJ looked at her with contempt. “What happened to Anthony? What happened to your mom?”

“Do you really care?” he asked.

She started sobbing. Then someone came behind TJ and patted his shoulder.

“Dad” she whispered sniffing. “What happened to your mom? Is she okay?” she asked.

He stared at her and had a good look. She looks weak. Pale. “It’s a mild heart attack, she will need rest” he answered.

“Oh” she said and started sobbing again. “And your brother?” she asked.

“He overdosed himself” he answered.

Selena cried a little louder, but she still sounded so weak. After a few minutes of crying, she called her dad. He carried her to the nearest line of bushes, and she threw up. She watched her for a few minutes before her father returned carrying her. He put her in the passenger seat with the door open. “TJ” she called. He walked nearer so he can hear what she’s saying. She extended her hand to him, he looked at it and after a few seconds of hesitating, he took it. “Listen to me. You have to help your brother live through this. We can’t get back together now” she said.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked.

“I’m dying soon. I want to live” she said. “I want to spend all my life with him” her voice started to shake again.

“You should’ve just told him. That way, he won’t feel—”

“Like I left him?” she asked smiling. “You know him better than I do. He’s precious and good and kind. He will take care of me and every day, I’ll wish I have more time for the rest of my days. I made my peace about this, but I met your brother and” she smiled bitterly. “It’s better that he’ll think I left him than him mourning for me. He’ll get over this” she told him. “I’m sorry about your mom, I hope she recovers soon. When your brother recovers, don’t ever tell him. Promise me, TJ” she said squeezing his hand.

“What's your illness?” he asked.

“Cervical cancer, stage four” she answered.

“I’m sorry” he said.

“Promise me” she said. He nodded. Selena smiled. “He’s the best thing that ever happened to me” she told him. “I don’t want to meet him there any time soon, you have to also keep that from happening” she smiled. He nodded again.

Why does love needs to be so hard? He asked himself.