The Intent of the Moon Goddess (#1)

Chapter 12- Anna

I don’t like living in the female pack house, and I miss Daphne so much and I worry that she’s not taking care of herself. She’s lost weight so I know she’s not eating right, and I’m scared that she’s lonely in the house by herself. She’d never tell me, even if I begged her to tell me, she wouldn't, that is just how she is made. 

I guess that’s how we are both made because I also lie to her by telling her how happy I am here and how great it is. If it wasn’t for Katy also being here, I’d leave, Alpha Adam would probably banish me, but I hate it so much that I don’t care.

I have 2 friends at the female pack house- Katy and Nanny Glenda. Nanny Glenda is an old unmated female, she’s never left the pack house because she never found her fated mate. Daphne says nanny Glenda was here when she lived at the pack house too. 

When I ask nanny Glenda how old she is she tells me she doesn’t remember, when we talk about meeting our fated mates nanny Glenda tells us she believes that her fated mate died before they had a chance to meet.

I once had a nightmare that I became like nanny Glenda, but she laughed when I told her. She said our blessings come in different ways. All she ever wanted in life was to be needed, so she took over the pack house kitchen when it became apparent no mate was coming for her and she treated every unmated female that came to stay here as long-lost family.

I had been in the pack house for a few weeks when I went to ask her for a job, she invited me into her office and the walls were covered in photographs of the now mated females who used to live here. 

‘My girls’ she calls us all. She has been to hundreds of weddings and is godmother to hundreds of babies, the montage on her walls shows the passage of time and how enriched her life has been by being our ‘nanny’. 

For girls like me who had very little in the way of family this was an unexpected gift. After the first few weeks I stopped pitying nanny Glenda and I started to admire her determination to make the most of her situation, and I also love and admire her as my nanny and one of my closest friends. 

I got a job working in the kitchens to help pay my way. I felt bad that Daphne would have to pay for additional accommodation for me when we had a perfectly good home already. It's not like she’s flush with cash, she makes a decent wage as a seamstress, but that’s enough to cover her expenses, not mine too. 

Beside I’m not Daphne’s child, she shouldn’t have to go without for me, and I know there have been plenty of times when she has gone without so I could go on trips, have a new pair of shoes or on even leaner months she would ensure I had a hot evening meal while she had nothing. I’m almost an adult now, it’s time for me to be more responsible for my upkeep.

There is something very lonely about communal living, how can that be? There must be over sixty unmated females living here, with 90% of them under the age of 30 years old. How can I feel so alone here when there are sixty other girls in a similar situation, of a similar age with similar interests and dreams? 

 I’ve lived here in the Crescent Moon Pack now for over five years and I still feel like an outsider, still don’t feel like I belong here or anywhere really! The only people who I feel completely myself with are Daphne, Katy, and nanny Glenda. 

I’m almost 17 years old now and I could find my fated mate at any point. I hope it’s sooner rather than later; I don’t know how much longer I can stand living like this.

Katy thinks we are outcasts because of our parentage as her mother is from the Scarlet Moon Pack moving here when she met her Crescent Moon Pack mate. My mother was born and raised right here in Crescent Moon but moved across the country to the Snowmoon Pack when she found her mate, and that’s where I was born. 

I don’t think any of that should matter, I’m sure all packs have a variety of werewolves from different places and just last week in class we learnt about the importance of a wide genetic pool and how the Moon Goddess selects mates based on pairings that will create the strongest, genetically superior pups. It’s right there in our sacred teachings and yet I feel like I’ll never be accepted here. 

I decide to go into the woods and shift, and let off some steam, my wolf finally came through to me on my 16th birthday, I get to the edge of the woods and remove my outer layer of clothes and stuff them into my bag, which I leave against a tree and as I’m shifting, I start to sense something isn’t right, there are eyes on me, someone is watching me. 

I pound the track around the perimeter of the woods moving fast and gracefully in my wolf-form. I am particularly proud of how beautiful my wolf form is. I have dark brown fur on top over my back and tail, but my underbelly is white, and three of my four paws are white too. My eyes remain the same blue which I’m told is unusual, but I love that part of me stays the same. 

I can’t find whoever it is who is watching me, it’s not the first time I’ve felt like this, and I need to talk to Daphne about it. It scares me and intrigues me at the same time. 

I quickly shift back and dress again. I have to get ready for the Tide-Turn Festival on the Scarlet Moon territory and Katy will kill me if I’m late for her rigorous beauty and preening regime. I needed that like a hole in the head.