HIS SECRET SIN

Part three: Church service

Watching my dad fight to stop himself from falling asleep was hilarious. His head would slowly droop to the side, and then he would jerk up immediately just before it hit my mum's shoulder, his eyes wide as if saying, "Hey, I am not sleeping," and then he would go back to drooping again. I was finding it difficult to control the laughter threatening to burst out, and I almost succeeded until I looked in Josh's direction.

He was imitating Dad's I am not sleeping antics. I chuckled unintentionally but quickly swallowed the rest and gazed down to my feet so no one would know the silly sound had come from me. I guess someone knew.

" Hey, what is funny?" the mass server beside me whispered, leaning closer to avoid being heard.

Nothing almost slipped from my lips, but my mind quickly remembered where I was. I was in God's house. It would be a great sin for me to lie, especially with the cross of his son's death a few feet away.

" I am laughing at my dad, trying hard not to fall asleep, " I murmured.

" Where? "

I raised my hand discretely to point my dad out in the mini-large congregation. My family has their seat in the fourth roll, in the middle.

I smiled fondly when I followed my fingers to see that my dad had finally lost the battle and now had his head permanently on my mum's shoulder. My mum had an amused look on her face as she listened to the preaching, acting as if she wasn't bothered by my dad's head on her shoulder. I can tell you she was not.

My parents are one of those sickly-in-love parents. Even after two decades of marriage, they still act happy and in love with each other. It always embarrasses us, kids, when we see them acting affectionately with one another, but secretly, it pleases us.

Having parents who love one another translates to a happy home, and the fact that they share their affection with each other and their kids makes our family happy.

I wouldn't say it's all roses and bright summer. We have our rainy days and thorny days. On some days, my parents will have such heated arguments that it gets to our knowledge.

My parents usually have most of their arguments in secret, so we kids will barely know that they are fighting. However, there are days when it can get ugly, and their shouting match drifts up to our rooms. On those days, my siblings would usually come into my room, scared that our parents were going to divorce.

There is nothing scarier to children than the fear of their parents breaking up the family. Things will never be the same.

Being the oldest, I usually push down my fears to be there for them. I assure them that most parents fight, but that doesn't mean they are going to get separated. We would hurdle together that night in my queen bed and wake up the next morning to my parents acting as if last night's argument was a nightmare we dreamt of last night.

Yes, they have their fights, but their anger with each other has never passed a day without them reconciling their differences. This is mainly on my dad's part.

One night, we were having the boys' moment. Those are nights when Dad, me, and my brothers meet in my room to talk. We talk about different things, ranging from support to girls and any other thing that will trouble a guy's mind growing up. So on one of those nights, I brought up their marriage. I was curious to know what has kept them working even when most families around us are divorcing.

I can still vividly remember the fond smile that appeared on my dad's face. It was full of love and patience. Son, he began. Whoever tells you that marriage is a bed of roses is deceiving you. It is a lot of hard work, and you have to put in extra effort to make it work. As a man who wants to have a happy home, you have got to learn how to say, "I am sorry."

That night, I was fourteen, and Josh and Caleb were six. We didn't understand his words but nodded as we did. Dad only smiled at us. You will get it someday, at least two of you. I guess he was referring to the fact that I am going to be a priest someday and will not be plagued by the troubles of marriage in the future.

I believe him to be wrong. Even if my becoming a priest means I won't be getting married, I am still going to have to deal with parishioners who will be going through marital problems, so his teachings were also for me. I paid attention to all of his words, knowing they might come in handy in the future.

The choir singing the hymn for the start of the mass celebration pulled my thoughts back to the church. I stood to my feet immediately and went to the credence table to assist Fr. Benedict as he started the celebration of mass.

When it was time for the holy communion, we all knelt on the floor to receive the body of Christ. I have never missed the holy communion, not for once since my confirmation. I am a firm believer in the sacrament of the Eucharist.

I was the last on the line, so I would hold the communion plate. When the priest approached, I made the sign of the cross and opened my mouth slightly to receive communion.

Every day I receive this, I feel renewed in spirit and rejuvenated in my body. I quietly stood with the communion plate handed to me to follow Fr. Benedict as he administered the communion to the rest of the congregation.

At the end of the mass, I helped the other mass servers put away the things we used to officiate the mass. Once we were done, I headed out to meet my family. They were conversing with Fr. Benedict in our car, along with several other parishioners who came to pay their respects to the Fr.

My approach caught the eyes of the Fr. " Ah, our young priest-to-be, " he greeted me with a smile and a hand on my shoulder. Some of the others standing with my family looked lost at his words, so my mum was only too happy to explain.

" My son will be joining the seminary in two weeks. "

I could hear the pride in my mum's voice, which matched the look on her face with my dad's. For a Catholic family, having a priest in the family is almost as important an achievement as having a doctor in the house.

" Is that so?" they exclaimed, looking at me in wonder. Being the shy person I was, I blushed under the weight of their adoring looks, wishing that something else would come up to take the attention from me, but I wasn't that lucky.

" I didn't know you would be joining soon, son? " Fr Benedict looked at me. I just smiled and left the explanation for my parents. " Sorry, Fr., we planned to come and inform you next weekend. We wanted you to say a prayer for him and also a mass. " My dad answered.

" That will be great. You are going to make us proud, son. I know it. "

I nodded still with a polite smile on my face.

After a few more seconds of talking about me, the discussion mercifully shifted off me to other adult things, so I was able to sneak away to join my siblings inside the car.

Caleb was spotting a frown as he glared toward where my parents stood discussing. " What is it, C? " I asked, sitting down beside Joshua. " He is hungry and pissed that Mum and Dad are wasting time talking. "

" What the hell are they talking about? The country defence, " Caleb snapped with lips shooting out into a cute pout.

" I don't know, I am hungry too. Wish they will hurry the f**k up? " Julia decides to add. " Guys, no cursing. Maybe I should go say something to Mum, " I offered.

My siblings all looked at me with such gratitude that I felt like a saviour who had brought water to a man dying of taste.

I snuck out of the car again and crept up to my mum. Luckily, she stood so that I could talk to her without alerting the others.

" Mum, we are hungry, " I whispered to her. She looked toward the car to see my siblings spotting hungry, frowny faces. " Go on, baby. I will talk to your father, and we will be there soon. "

True to her word, she and Dad joined us a few seconds later. " About time, " Caleb grumbled from the back.

" Sorry, guys, " Dad apologized.

One of the things I love about my dad is that he apologizes when he is in the wrong, no matter who he is that he is apologizing too. He never plays the I am an adult card, so I am always fitting that I have seen many adults do, and I try to emulate that. I apologize to my siblings anytime I am at fault, encouraging them to do the same if they are at fault.

When we got home, I went to help my mum get things ready for our picnic. Most of the food was already prepared last night, and the cheesecake was chilling in the fridge, so we only had to reheat the food that needed to be heated again.

Once everything was set, I called down my siblings, and we set out. When we got to the park, we weren't the only families with the picnic idea. There were already families set up in the green grass field, children running around, chasing one another, and other excitement in the park. The weather is certainly good for picnics—not too sunny, not too gloomy.

Mum picked a spot for us, and we spread the blanket. We brought a huge one that will accommodate all of us. The first order of business is food. I believe if we delay eating any longer, Caleb will swallow Joshua. He has been yawning since we left the house.

Mum served us, and we began to eat, moaning and complimenting Mum on a job well done. At least I and Dad did; the others were more focused on polishing down their food. Joshua and Julia were polishing while Caleb was wolfing down his as if scared that one of the birds hovering around the park was going to steal it from him.

It didn't take me long to get full. I am not a food person, but my brother Caleb was quick to take my remnants.

After the main course, my mum brought out the famous cheesecake. Even though we all just ate, our mouths began to water again at the sight of that beautiful, creamy brownness. " Who won the bet? " Mum asked, her hand poised to divide the cake.

" I did, " Joshua was quick to say. Alright, baby, you get the lion's share. " She cut a very large piece, placed it on the round plate, and gave it to my brother.

Our eyes followed the massive portion like magnets before returning to the parent cake to watch Mum intently as she shared the remaining portion. Dad got more than the rest of us, except for Josh.

" Which animal eats even when he is full? " Julia asked as we enjoyed our cake.

" Caleb, " I teased. Hey! I am not an animal, " he retorted with an affronted look before looking to his brother to give him some. He had wolfed down his share.

" My brother, the plant, " Joshua teased while cutting out a small portion for him. " And the pit, " Julia added as we all laughed.

After our food, my siblings scattered to find their excitement, but I relaxed back with the inspirational book I brought along. Dad joined the other grown men in the park while Mum drifted off to the group of women not far from where our blanket lay.

While I was reading, I looked up briefly to find my siblings and make sure none were doing what they were not supposed to. As their older brother, it is my duty to keep an eye on them always.

Julia was standing with an older guy and blushed at everything the guy was saying. They stood too close for my liking. I quickly got to my feet and matched her direction with a deep scowl on my face.

My sudden appearance startled Julia. " Dan, " she gasped. But I didn't look at her; I glared at the guy.

" Hi, I am Blake. " He stretched out his hand with a charming smile, which I didn't return. The boy finally got the memo when I felt Josh and Caleb join me, with the same menacing look on their faces.

" What is wrong with you guys, " Julia wailed, glaring at us after the guy walked off.

" You are not supposed to be talking to guys yet, Jules, " Joshua said in a patient tone.

" And when will that be? Oh, mighty brother. "

She was being sarcastic, but we answered the same way.

" Forty, " I said.

" Thirty, " Joshua answered.

" Twenty-five, " Caleb stated.

" You are all hilarious, " she snapped and walked off with a huff. My brothers and I grinned at each other before following her. We take protecting our sister seriously.