The Secrets We Keep

Chapter 19

NAYA

"Make quick work of her, we don't have time for you to play games, Naya." Rolland was eager for all of their capture, but again the third sibling had eluded us again. I couldn't wait to finally just tear into this new version of Ayanna. Watching her die was exhilarating. Killing her first born would be even more so. I made my way towards the clearing and the look on her face was golden.

"Oh goddess Amarie, you look terrible. You should really think about taking better care of yourself." I chuckled as I saw her lips quiver. She held something up, and she was about to speak.

" What is that supposed to be? Your choice of a weapon?"

"I said no games Naya!" I looked back at Rolland and rolled my eyes.

"You killed him!" I snapped my attention back to her and squinted at what she held, "you killed Elijah! Your packs future, and MY son!" Whispers erupted throughout my pack behind me.

"Enough! Naya, finish the girl, they're more trouble than they are worth!" Rolland demanded silence and her death, and I was eager to do so. I didn't bother removing the clothes I wore and wasted no time shifting. I looked at the girl across the clearing ready to run to rip into her. I sprang into a full on sprint and she turned around, running back to the small group in front of the pack house. I was gaining on her easily since she was in human form. Just as I was about to have her in my reach, she did some type of flip and landed facing me but fell back at the same time. I felt a painful burn in my chest and shifted back instantly.

Erika

Once Naya shifted back she was screaming as loudly as possible, holding on to her chest, as she started coughing out blood. She looked up at me and I smiled. I squatted down and grabbed her by the face so she looked directly at me.

"Silver burns, doesn't it, b***h? I doubt you'll get very far with that key in your chest, poisoning your blood. So I'll come back and finish you later." I stood up and smiled at her pain. "Just so you know, my face is the last face you'll ever see before you bleed out." She couldn't move without causing herself more agony, so I would save killing her for last.

I looked at Mathias and Tyler, who shifted without hesitation, before anything else, Edrick spoke out to get my attention. "You need to pick, either being a wolf or use your abilities, you can't use both and be in control of what happens." How would he know any of this, but I took his advice and stayed human. Rolland stepped out of his pack and shifted. I looked at Lauren and I could see the fear she was trying to hide. Mathias and Tyler were in front of me waiting for Rolland to make a move. I felt my brother and Edrick stepping next to me. I thought about what Edrick said earlier about us using anger. He was right, I felt the burn in my heart, and this was going to be how we won.

Rolland howled and his entire pack shifted. I got worried because it seemed to be 1000 to 1, and I still wasn't sure how we would win this. My thoughts cleared as soon as I saw Rolland's dark brown wolf charge in our direction, and at the same time Mathias and Tyler made a straight shot back at him. All at once, the rest of the pack broke through the clearing and I felt my heart drop at the thought of him being in danger.

"No!" I yelled as I saw the scene play out in front of me. I ran in the same direction, chasing them. They were about to collide and then flames went up behind Rolland, preventing any of the pack members from assisting in Rolland's assault on Mathias and Tyler. I noticed a small break in the flames, allowing one wolf at a time to come through, but much like the guard in the prison, it was crippled and died. I turned to find Zeric and another wolf came along and he wasted no time jumping on its back and started to squeeze its neck, causing a cracking sound as it fell lifeless. Before I knew it, Edrick was next to him helping him up, pulling him in my direction.

"You need to light them up!" Edrick yelled at me.

"I don't know how! This was just because I didn't want them to get to Mathias and Tyler."

"Well, we need to figure something out because this is going to wear you out. Zeric, who did the electrical surge at the lake house?" Edrick had a frighteningly straight look on his face.

"I don't know why?"

"You need to focus on those power lines, and bring them down! Erika let the wall down now!" I looked at him like he was crazy as he took off running to the space they kept coming through and to the best of his ability he took them down one by one. I didn't realize how weak I actually was until that point. I was shaking from dehydration and lack of nutrients during the time I was held here, but I wasn't going to die here. I looked at the flames, wondering how to stop them, but I was taken down by someone.

I managed to roll over, knocking them off me. When they came into my view, it was Naya, still bleeding from her wound and her mouth. I couldn't help but smile at how pathetic she looked. We both got to our feet and she wasted no time lunging at me, missed, and I took this opportunity and brought my knee up, meeting with her abdomen, knocking her flat on her back. I reached for her bright red hair and pulled her to her feet.

When she was standing, I headbutted her, causing her to lose her balance. I let her shake off her dizziness and waited for her to come at me again. Sure enough, she tried her luck in a more unexpected way this time. She swept my legs out from under me and I felt my head hit the ground. I touched the back of my head to find a gash bleeding. I groaned as I was about to stand, but I didn't get very far when my face was met by a kick, laying me back out again. I blinked a couple of times trying to regain my focus and realized the fire wall was down and their warriors were running full speed this way. I pushed myself up and when I turned around Naya swung something she had in her hand, she just missed my throat and grazed my cheek.

It burnt, an all too familiar burn. I touched it and realized it was silver. She smiled and swung wild again, missing completely, but swung back again. This time I put my arm up in defense and I felt the burn deep in my arm. She smiled, feeling accomplished. I looked at my arm and saw the silver scalpel half way out. I felt a hard punch to my face and went down, I felt my anger flare, and much like before, flames went up around us, distracting her. I wasted no time and pulled the silver scalpel from my arm as I got to my feet.

"Naya!" She quickly turned her attention back to me and once she was facing me, I shoved the scalpel straight through under her chin upward into her mouth. I could see the fear in her eyes when she realized this was it.

"I told you my face was going to be the last thing you saw." I smiled and pulled the scalpel out and sliced her throat to the bone and watched as she tried to cover the opening with her hands. I looked around and I realized the fight still wasn't over and I heard Rolland howl over the death of his mate and his attention was redirected from Tyler and Mathias to me. He grabbed Tyler in his jaws and threw him out of the ring of fire they were still surrounded by and he immediately made a jump from where he was fighting and ran in my direction as I was standing over his dead mate. He nudged her with his snout, whimpered, and licked her face trying to get any little sign of life from her, but she was still. He snapped his head up at me and growled. I stepped back and was right next to the flames. He took a step and shifted back to human.

"So... you're not the weakling she thought you to be," I could see the pain on his face and I knew he had nothing to lose, "your mother failed at her attempt to kill Naya, but YOU, HA, YOU actually did it!" I was still clinging to the scalpel ignoring the burn. He looked down at it and laughed at me. There is no way he didn't see me shaking. Naya was one thing, but Rolland, he was huge and he just lost the one thing that he lived for. He stepped towards me when we heard what sounded like a ton of snarls colliding into one another. White moon pack had finally arrived and they were plowing through Silver Moon warriors.

I looked back at Rolland and he knew time was running out, it was either now or never for him to finish what he started. He turned to me and he realized that the fire wall never came down. Which meant no one could get to us in time to save me if it came down to it.

He shifted back to a wolf and, of course, my fear grew, so did the flames. I looked around and I heard him snarling like he knew why the flames grew. He took his shot and jumped, snapping his jaw in his attempt to bite me, but he missed. I remembered what Edrick said about picking between wolf and ability. As I dodged Rolland, I gave Artemis control.

I shifted as I slid under him and came to a stop on all fours and the fires went out. We were facing off ready to fight when he was taken down by a large gray wolf. Artemis took off in the direction they went and followed them.

"Artemis, who is that?!"

"That's Kane!" She wasn't very happy at the moment.

"That doesn't tell me who it is!"

"Anthony!" I felt a weight heavy on my chest when I heard his name. Why did he save me?

"Artemis, don't let him die please!" I begged her desperately. He wasn't my mate, but he was the first love I ever had. I didn't want him to die, I needed him for the pain I was going to feel after this battle, because he would be the only one who understood how I felt. As Artemis got us closer to Anthony and Rolland, I saw Anthony pinned and Rolland ready to sink his teeth into him. Artemis pushed herself as much as she could to be as fast as we could, in hopes we wouldn't be too late. I was close enough to jump and get Rolland off but someone else beat me to him, but not before Rolland managed to bite into Anthony's neck. I landed perfectly after missing Rolland and shifted back and ran straight to Anthony. He shifted back and let out a pain-filled scream,holding his neck. I reached him and put pressure on the wound that Rolland created.

"Hello my beautiful moon." He strained as he started to spit up blood and tried to smile when he saw me.

"I'm here, everything is going to be OK," I felt my eyes swell with tears, afraid I wasn't going to be able to save him, "you can't leave me though, okay? I still need you...... please don't leave me." I adjusted his head so it was on my lap and I applied as much pressure to his neck as I could without causing more damage. I looked at his face and he gave me a half-hearted smile and I felt a squeeze on my heart. I felt his hand cup my face and I started to sob uncontrollably.

"N- no, y- y- you don't, g-get to b-b- be w-eak." The sounds of his words gurgling out made the anger in me rise. Suddenly, I felt my cousin's hand touch me and I grabbed her t-shirt and ripped a piece off of it, and then I put her hand on his neck.

"Sit and hold his head. Keep the pressure on that! Do not leave him!" I said a little more aggressively than I wanted or meant to. Lauren did exactly what I told her to and as I was getting up he tried to keep me from leaving but he was in no position to be able to really stop me. I turned around and went in the direction I saw Rolland tackled in. I realized it was Mathias, and my anger grew at the thought of my mate's life being in danger. I started to run to them but before I did, I looked around and I saw it. The blade used on me and the one I used to kill Naya, but it was in the middle of the fighting. I looked down and saw all the bruising and damage done to my body, and it angered me even more.

I looked back up and focused on it, I let go of the heavy feeling weighing me down and I ran. I ran through every single fight that stood between me and the scalpel, I made it to the blade and grabbed it. I didn't have to even touch some of the fights to move them from my path. As I ran back, I could see and hear the fight between Maddox and Rolland's wolf. It sounded terrifying but I had to try and end it. I got as close as I could and had to think about how I was going to be able to do this without hurting Mathias. I stopped and looked at the blade and back at the horrific blood bath happening.

"Mathias!" He caught a glimpse of me holding the blade and within a second he grabbed Rolland in his jaws and threw him so I had a clear shot at him. I managed to throw it perfectly so it went straight into his chest, and he shifted back into a human. I started walking towards him and he looked up to face me. When I reached him before he had a chance to speak, I kicked the scalpel as far into his body as I could and I watched as he fell over seeming lifeless. Suddenly, the clearing was full of howls, and the fighting stopped.

"Erika!" I looked at Lauren still holding onto Anthony and I walked over to him slowly, I sat down next to her and touched his face. He opened his eyes and looked at me, then up at Mat.

"Mathias, what do I do?" My voice started to break as I looked up at him, and he slowly came down to my level.

"Baby, I don't know. There's nothing you can do for him." His answer wasn't okay or good enough. I looked around and noticed Danny wasn't around.

"Somebody call Danny! Mat,Ty, Zeric get him inside please." They all looked at me like this was the worst idea possible, "if any of you really care or love me please help me get him inside." Zeric sighed but quickly came to help me while Lauren kept the fabric and pressure on his neck. I was having a hard time getting him up but I felt someone else coming and helping. I looked over and it was Nick.

"I got him, just tell me where to take him."

"You tell me, this is your home." I wasn't very confident that he would live but I wanted to try. Nick led us to an office. There were pictures of him and Danny, but more of Elijah and I froze, until I heard her screams.

"Where is he?!" Nick ran to meet her before she could make it inside to see him. I looked at Mathias and gestured for him to go and help calm his sister. He looked around and found some shorts and a shirt on the couch. He threw the shirt at me and he put on the shorts and went outside to Danny and my attention went back to Anthony, then to Edrick.

"Get Mathias' uncle here now!"

"He's already on his way." And, like magic, James walked through the door straight to Anthony. He moved the fabric from the wound and began to clean it in an attempt to see how bad it really was. He shuffled through his bag, pulling out a tool and clamped onto something and continued to work on him.

"Is he going to be OK?" I asked as my voice shook.

"Ty get her out of here."

"Wait! No, please!" Tyler wasted no time on picking me up over his shoulder and out the door, but it wasn't without a fight. The second we were out the door and my feet hit the ground, I felt the cold floor on my face.

"This is your fault! If he dies, it's on your hands!" I realized Danny hit me. I looked up at her while I was holding my face and was honestly surprised she did it.

"I didn't ask him to c-"

"Oh please, Erika, you know he wouldn't hang back if your life was on the line! The second Reyna told us what was going on, he was the first one out the door. He couldn't stand the idea of Elijah's mother being in danger." The moment his name left her mouth, Nick got in her face.

"Danny shut up already!" They all turned and looked at me and I did the only thing I knew how. I turned around and ran.

"Erika!" I heard each of them yell as I ran through the doors. As I ran, I came up on the spot where I dropped his blanket and shifted, grabbing it in my mouth. I didn't know where I was going, but I just had to keep running. It was almost dawn by the time I finally stopped. I came to a familiar sight, a lake. On the other side of the lake, the ashes that once were a house. I made my way to the last place I saw my baby and thought about the few hours I spent holding him, and the few hours my siblings were able to show their nephew more love than he had probably been shown in his short, not even a full year of life.

I never imagined I would ever see him again. It wasn't fair, he was innocent. He deserved more than any death that was given to him, and I would have gladly taken his place to give him a chance at life. That wasn't the case though, even if I had been up for it, Naya wouldn't have spared him. Whatever hate she felt for my mother wouldn't have allowed her to let him live. He wasn't really her grandson, she was Anthony's stepmother. There were no blood relations whatsoever.

Artemis sniffed around hoping for even a faint trace of his scent, but all we got was the burnt smell the fire left behind. It was relatable to the fire that burnt in my heart for a child that I would never see grow up. All the fire in my heart left behind was the ashes that were the memories of him. She placed what was left of his blanket on the ground and let out a howl that seemed to carry all the pain we felt. We were broken, something we only thought we had been but had never actually been, until now.

I thought about Anthony, and wondered if he was going to make it. As angry at him as I was, I didn't want him to die. I thought about the time I spent with him before we moved, and I remembered how much my heart felt for him. I loved him and had hoped to spend my life with him, but those plans got bent and twisted when I found out I was pregnant with Elijah. Shortly after, I was told we were moving and I made the choice to run much like I did yesterday. I felt guilt hit me like a tidal wave. Not because he could die though, but because I was thinking about how much I felt for him at one point. It came from the thought of Mathias and everything he put on the line for me.

I couldn't keep my thoughts from scattering or going on a straight path. I could hear Artemis trying to talk to me but I couldn't make out what she was saying. I felt cold, and the debris beneath me. I realized Artemis' howl was now the sounds of my uncontrollable sobs. I wasn't sure when I turned back into a human, but it happened. I tried to think of someone's voice, anyone's voice, to calm myself. But no matter how much I tried to focus on one, I heard all of them. My mom's, my brothers', Mat's, my sister's, and mixed with all of them were the sounds of a baby's cries.

It made my heart feel like it was being crushed again, and my sobs turned into screams. I wasn't supposed to outlive my child, I wasn't supposed to be alive while he was lifeless somewhere. I felt the wind pick up from the clouds that began to roll in and the storm that was about to break. I looked up at the sky and felt the rain begin to fall. Before I knew it, I felt heat, and my attention came back to the ash of the house that once stood where I sat. The flames of the fire that burnt the house down were back up. I didn't bother to move. I stayed right where I was, in the middle. The flames didn't seem to care about the downpour that should have been putting them out.

I didn't care to stop any of it, the rain, the fire. I let my pain engulf me, I didn't fight it any longer. Pain from my choices I made to be with Anthony. Pain from the choice of leaving my son with him. Pain from pushing Mathias away and almost killing him in the very fire I reignited. I was ready to let go. I decided to make peace with myself and let the very fire I made be the end of me. It would be the end of being the reason everyone I ever loved ended up dead. I felt my skin burning from the flames that started to close in on me, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was finally doing the right thing, like I made the right choice.

I could feel Artemis fighting for control but I didn't want to let her.

"Let me help you!"

"Just stop! Shut up! I don't want you in my head anymore! Everything that has happened is because of what I am, because of YOU! Don't you get it?"

"You're just upset. I know you don't mean that, so please just let me help you. I'm hurt too, but I don't want us to end like this."

"Leave me alone please!"

"If you won't let me help, then I'm sorry, just know I'm doing this to save you."

I didn't understand what she was going on about, but I didn't care to ask. All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain in my head. I immediately held my head as the pain grew. I couldn't even scream because of how badly it hurt. I tried to stand but fell right back down. I began to see stars, and my vision began to tunnel, and it seemed like I was in the dark. I felt my consciousness begin to fade, and then I heard her again.

"I'm sorry Babe, but this is for your own good. You'll be fine when you wake up, now rest."