Chapter 12
2244 Words
Jessica
I will make you love me. That’s a promise and I will never break my promise, bunny doll.
His words continued to echo in my mind.
He promised he would make me love him.
He truly loved me? Or this was another one side? Sheesh, Jess, stop thinking so negatively.
But I couldn’t help it.
After the incident with Christian, my trust in men was literally zero. I felt bad but I had to be cautious.
Did I allow myself to love already? To love Jason? Or was I still blinding myself that men were just the same? I knew Jason was not a bad guy, he was nice, too nice. And so patient. It was rare for a guy to leech himself to a woman who never gave him a green light. For a year. Other guys probably had given up and searched for another prey.
But Jason…he remained here. He stayed and always looked after me. Almost like he wanted to show me that he would never give up on me. My heart was saved if I handed it to him. He would treasure it like a diamond, like something vulnerable. To show me that my world hadn’t ended yet.
It’d been a year.
I knew people were different. Some could move on so easily and so fast the next day, others took months, and years. I had to admit that sometimes I missed it, the spike, the butterflies on my stomach, how my heart squeezed with happiness toward the man I loved. There could be times when we had an argument and fought each other but those were part of a relationship.
I missed that.
But of course, I wouldn’t have it with a random guy. And with Jason, I began to think that I could give him a chance.
I liked him.
Sometimes he could be teasing and flirty, but I liked him. Not love. It was not something as powerful as love, for now. But if people asked me if I wanted to be part-away with Jason, my answer would be no. Because I didn’t want to lose him.
In the end, we only walked around Central Park. There were a lot of couples which was obvious. Today was Saturday so they were lurking around the place.
We sat on the bench facing the river as Jason stretched up his hands. “I had fun today,” he said. Had he? “I’ve found out I like this kind of date; it’s more relaxing,” he added.
“Your exes never wanted to get in touch with nature?”
“Nope.”
“Even the British women?”
“Even the British women. Sometimes it makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with them or even myself. But now I have the answer.” He turned his ocean orbs to me. “Because it was meant for me to find my way to you.” Ah, sheesh, this guy.
“Charmer,” I grinned
“I know. I’m proud of it. You look more relaxed now.”
“I am. You made it better.”
“I’m glad.” He looked to the front again, toward the river. I followed.
“Jason?”
“Hm?”
“Tell me about your first love.”
He turned to me confusingly, instantly making me regret the decision to ask him that. “Why you ask?”
“Curious. Um, Christian was my first love so I was wondering about yours.”
He laughed nervously. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“What? Tell me.” This was getting interesting. I rarely saw Jason like this. Sometimes teasing him was fun, too. He was so nervous I felt both terrible and excited.
“You’re a teaser,” he said and I giggled. “s**t, stop with the cute giggling. I can’t say no to that.”
“Tell me, then.” And I added an extra giggle at the end and he sighed.
“My mom was my first love,” he confessed and I dropped the smile.
“You’re serious?”
“I am. Maybe it’s true after all that moms are boys’ first love. It happened to me. I still remembered when I was still in kindergarten, I said I wanted to marry my mother when I grew up. Nowadays if my mom brought that up again, I could only laugh and be embarrassed. You know how mothers sometimes love to tease their sons. And the more I grew up, I’m only determined to always make her proud. I love my mother and my sister, too. Both my ladies, sometimes my dad always said he could protect them better. My dad is the type who is so protective with his girls.” And it was proven how he acted to his daughter.
“Your father is a nice guy.”
“He is. I’m sure my parents will love you if you guys met one day. I’ve told them about you.” What?
“You did?” He nodded his head. “What did you talk about?” Oh, God. I prayed he didn’t tell them that I was his girlfriend.
“Mom asked me if there’s a girl around me because she saw me flirting with you back at Cathy’s wedding so she was curious. I told her it was a one-sided love and you don’t like me.” Well, that was a relief because he didn’t tell them I was his girlfriend but the part saying I didn’t like him, hurt me.
“I never said I hate you,” I countered.
“Correction, don’t like not hate.”
“I never said that, too.”
“So, what are we then?” he asked and I couldn’t answer.
What were we? Not lovers, obviously. Friends? Maybe that was the best answer I could give.
“Um, friends?” I replied and he scoffed. Not the kind he always gave. He became different…again.
Jason turned to me and I didn’t know why, I couldn’t move. He moved his body slightly closer to me. “Do you consider me as your friend now?” Even his tone was different. Heavier and cold.
“That’s what you’ve always wanted from me, right? And you are now.”
“And what are you going to do if I wanted more than a friend?”
“But you said you don’t want to force me.” Oh, no, his face was dangerously close now. I could feel his breath. I was breathing his. He was breathing mine.
“Do you think friends would do this, bunny doll? Trying to kiss? Call you names?”
“I… I don’t know. I’ve never had a male friend. Even so, they certainly don’t kiss their female friends.”
“Right? And I want to kiss you so f*****g bad. Do you still think of us as friends?”
“Jason—"
“Jessica,” he whispered as he moved his lips closer to mine, ready to be attached. His tone was an odd mix between sharp and soft. One word from him just by calling my name and I was willing to listen and do anything he desired. Like I was truly his doll.
Until our moment was broken.
“Jesse!” Jesse?
Jason stopped immediately. I lifted my eyes to him, seeing his eyes slightly bulged out like he just witnessed a murderer. He slowly turned behind him, and my eyes followed, seeing a woman standing behind him. Brown-haired woman and she didn’t look very pleased watching us.
“Jesse,” she called again. Her eyes were fixed on Jason. She was calling Jason. Hold on, he was Jason, not Jesse. What was going on here?
She strode her legs toward us. “Excuse me, who are you?” Jason asked and when she was close enough, she scowled.
“Are you seriously don’t remember me?” she asked back.
“I usually will remember a beautiful lady but I don’t remember you at all. Have we met?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Have we met?” she repeated and scorned. “Yes, we have. We met two nights ago, genius.”
Two nights ago? That was the night when I thought I saw Jason or someone who looked like him. So, he was Jason? Or Jesse?
“I think you are mistaken, Miss. I wasn’t going anywhere two nights ago. And my name is Jason, not Jesse.”
“Don’t give me that s**t. I still remember everything that night and it’s useless if you tried to ditch me because your girlfriend is around. You’ve promised to call me again.”
“Whoa, hold on! I’ve told you I didn’t meet you that night,” Jason still tried his best to defend himself.
“Liar!” she screamed and turned to me. “Is she your new target now?” She c****d her head to me and Jason stood up. He grabbed her elbow and pushed her behind. I launched forward as well.
“Don’t ever call her like that. You are purely mistaken; I never met you.” Again, he sounded cold.
“Oh, so there’s a man who looks identical to you walking around New York?” she asked mockingly.
“Maybe.”
She shook her head. “I don’t believe you. I remember everything. Your brunette hair. Your cold blue eyes. Your voice. Everything.”
“I’m not that man,” Jason stated coldly. I couldn’t see his face but I didn’t think I wanted to face him directly with his current situation.
And the woman surprised me when she slapped his face hard, making me gasp in shock. Not even Jason said anything further. He just inhaled deeply. Why he didn’t defend himself more? This woman was accusing him.
“f**k you, asshole.” Okay, you know that? She had crossed the line. That was it!
I strode my way to them and pulled Jason to me as I moved in front of him, switching position with Jason. My turn.
“Don’t slap him like that. Jason has said that he never met you and he’s not the man you slept with. You should pay some respect to his honesty instead of throwing accusations at him. And you’re not supposed to slap his face like that even saying something rude to him. You’re so desperately looking for a man you want, but my Jason is not your Jesse. Go find your Jesse, bitch.” Her jaw dropped from her face as I headed to Jason. Grabbing his wrist and pulling him in my direction. Away from that stupid cow.
I was so pissed off!
I didn’t like it watching a woman throwing accusations around because she was so desperate. She put herself as the victim and blamed Jason over and over.
And I just pulled out my ultimatum; calling her a b***h. I rarely did that but…oh, well. I couldn’t take it back. I so wanted to call Stacey that but I never got the chance.
We didn’t talk along the way. The woman didn’t chase us too which was a relief.
So…Jason was in the bar. He was there with women. Women, not a woman. Because I witnessed him surrounding himself with them.
“Jess?” he called and I stopped, letting go of his wrist where we ended up on the bridge. “That was quite of a show you put there. Thank you, bunny doll.”
I turned to face him. “You’re seriously never met her before?”
“God, no.”
“And who is this Jesse?”
“I have no f*****g idea.”
“Did you sleep with someone while you are here or while, you claim, chasing me?”
“No! I swear to God I never do any of that and I never met that crazy woman. I’ve never slept with anyone since I met you.” I kept staring at him. Jason looked so lost right now, and panic. He chewed his bottom lip and fear could be seen in his eyes. What was he afraid of? I would find out about his affair with his harem? Or afraid I would walk away because of misunderstanding? Even so, I could tell Jason didn’t lie to me.
He raised his hands and slowly took a step toward me. Slowly like he was scared I would bolt away. “I never did that, Jess. Please, believe me.” I could hear his sincere tone. He was being honest. Well, I didn’t have any proof if that person was indeed Jason. Maybe I should take a picture back there and that woman called him Jesse and it was not even his name. Was there a person who looked the same as him? If there was, that would be creepy.
I exhaled. “Fine.”
He sighed in relief and smiled. He tucked his hands inside his pocket. He softly chuckled and said, “I’m happy, though.”
“Why?”
He lifted his blue eyes to me again. This time, looking so confident and he was back as the usual Jason.
But the next words that came out of his mouth just made my heart beat ten times faster and I did not know how to respond. “Because you consider me as yours.”
- Writer
