Embracing Khaos

Kabanata 4

"The project is successful!"

Tiningnan ko ang mga tao sa ibaba. A lot of people came and today is also Christmas. Walang emosyon kong pinagmasdan ang mga ngiti nito. They look so happy while watching the video presentation that will guide them. Bakas ang saya sa mga mukha nila and I hate it.

Why I can't smile like that too?

"Hey!"

"Tsk, shut up," I said coldly at Mikayla.

Ngumuso lamang ito at sumilip sa ibaba kung saan maraming tao ang nakapila.

"Nevermind. I will go down there and check if everything is okay, huh?" Paalam nito at mabilis na iniwan ako sa itaas.

I rolled my eyes and caress my wrist. Every time that I will see happy faces, I want to hurt myself. I want to hurt myself badly.

"Merry Christmas, Madam!"

Katulad kanina ay hindi ako kumibo at hindi pinansin ang mga taong bumabati sa akin.

Tsk, I hate birthdays!

What's good with Christmas? Why do they look so happy writing letters? Why did they look like that? Their eyes are full of love and hope. Their eyes are shining because of overflowing emotions. They look happy that they will create their own story. I'm glad that the project is successful, well I'm already expecting it.

I know it will be successful. Humans are hopeless. They want to read or create something that will remind them of hope. They are weaklings. They just want the comfortable lies. They are afraid of truths and reality. They will create an illusion just to comfort themselves. That's their weakness. They have a soft heart and you can use it against them.

That's why I hate being humans.

Looking at their smiling faces makes me want to crash them. I want them to cry and ruin them.

I rolled my eyes.

I should get out of here. I don't want to see them. I'm allergic to humans. Naglakad ako pababa habang ang mga empleyado ay yumuyuko sa akin.

"Where are you going?" Pagharang sa akin ni, Mikayla.

I just gave her a cold stare.

"I want some fresh air. Don't mind me and take care of the event."

Narinig ko pa ang pagtawag nito sa akin but I remained walking. Nang makita ang sasakyan ay mabilis ko itong pinaandar palayo sa mga ito.

Their laughter and smiles suffocate me.

Nakasandal ako sa kotse habang pinagmamasdan ang dagat. I'm far away now but I can still hear their laughter. Madilim sa bahagi ng kinalalagayan ko. Walang tao, only the waves of the ocean and the creepy vibes. I don't understand why humans are scared in a place like this. I prefer this kind of place rather than a place that is full of light and people.

I sighed and hug myself because of the cold wind of December.

It's Christmas and I'm thinking of my brother.

Is he happy too because of this season? Does someone give him a gift too? I hope he's happy. Tama ng ako lang ang naghihirap at nasasaktan sa aming dalawa. If ever I also want him to forget everything. I don't want him to remember every memory if that will only bring nightmares.

Yeah right, I'm selfish.

But I wish he just created humans without emotions and feelings. In that way, I can save myself from despair. Humans experiencing pain because of what they feel. Nagiging mahina ang tao dahil sa emosyon. I don't want to be weak because of that. I don't want anyone to know my weakness. Humans are two-faced b***h. I don't trust anyone except, Mikayla and her family.

Because my father trusts them too.

I always believed that my father has no wrong decisions. Maybe they are some, but he's a responsible man. He owns them like a big man. That's why a lot of people love and adore him. But because of that, a lot of enemies are also present. Because of that, they died and I lost my brother. I lost my life because of that. That freaking legacy ruined my life. I suppose to abandon it but I can't. I can not give it to those greedy motherf*ckers.

Dahil mawawalan ng saysay ang pagkamatay nila pag ginawa ko 'yon.

It means all my sufferings will be thrown away too.

Umupo ako at sumandal sa kotse. This place makes me feel safe. Well, darkness makes me feel safe. I don't understand why people are scared of darkness. It gives comfort to my wounded soul.

Six years.

Six freaking years and I'm still alone. I'm still here without anyone by my side.

Kumuyom ang kamao ko ng maalala ang killer. That son of a b***h. Now that I'm back, I'm going to make sure that I will give him the taste of his own medicine. That killer is the reason why I'm alone and why my brother is missing. I'm going to make sure that I will find him and end him with my bare hands.

Huminga ako ng malalim at saka tumayo. I just want to sleep all day. Akmang papasok na ko sa loob ng kotse nang may mapansin ako. I don't know but I can sense danger. Naglakad ako papunta sa harap ng kotse at inaninag ang isang sasakyan na papalapit. Nasisilaw man ako dahil sa ilaw ng sasakyan na papalapit sa akin, I know that it's moving faster. Bago pa ko makagalaw ay parang umikot ang mundo ko...

Next thing I knew ay nasa lapag na ko at hindi makagalaw. Umubo ako and I can feel the blood dripping on my mouth. The raging car hit me at tumilapon na ko sa kung saan. I can't do anything but watch the car leaves me here like nothing.

The raging car hit me and I know it's my end.

I smiled bitterly.

Is this really my end?

I don't know that I still have tears to cry. Nanghihinang napaiyak ako hindi dahil sa sakit, kung hindi dahil sa pagsisisi.

Dawn.

I can't leave without seeing him. I can't leave, I still need to punish my parent's killer.

I can't leave.

I cried at sinubukang kumilos but I can't. I can feel my end this time and I'm regretting everything. I waste the six years of my life in that castle without finding my brother. I closed my eyes while still crying.

"H-help," I whispered.

Please don't take me away.

Is this really my end? I don't even have a good memory in this world. If only I'm brave enough to face my pain and fears. If I just embrace my fate a little sooner and accept everything that happened, will I end up being happy instead? If I fix myself a little sooner, maybe I already find my brother.

Freaking maybe and what-ifs.

Wala pa rin patid sa pagtulo ang luha sa mga mata ko. I can't feel anything but regret. Is this my punishment? For living when I should die six years ago?

Is he taking it back already?

I sobbed.

"I-it's y-our birth-day ri-ght? T-hen gr-ant m-y w-wish." I whispered. "P-please le-t m-me li-ve,"

I know wishing in this state is a dumb thing to do. But I'm hoping that someone will hear me and grant my wish. This is the first time that I make a wish, but I'm hoping that someone will hear me.

Sa huling sandali ay ngumiti ako.

"D-awn," Unti-unting pumikit ang mga mata ko, ready to accept my fate.

"You again?"

I tried so hard to open my eyes but death is already pulling me.

-----

I slowly opened my eyes.

Am I already dead?

"Yes, you are already dead."

Kumunot ang noo ko at tumingin sa lalaking prenteng nakaupo sa couch. He's wearing a black coat and a black hat.

Is he my grim reaper?

"Tsk, I'm not."

Nanlaki ang mata ko. Naririnig n'ya ko?

"Shut up, human, and yes. I can hear your useless thoughts." He coldly said.

"W-who are you?"

Tumayo ito at dahan-dahang naglakad papalapit sa akin. Hindi ko maaninag ang mukha nito dahil sa suot na sumbrero.

"Do you want to know who I am?" Nakangising tanong nito.

"You said I'm already dead, then where am I?" Tanong ko rito ngunit nanlaki ang mata ko nang tanggalin nito ang suot na sumbrero.

"Y-you?"

He smirked.

"So you can still remember me?"

Lumunok ako habang nakatingin sa itim na itim na mga mata nito. His black eyes are hypnotizing me.

The same black eyes six years ago.

The silver-haired man and the man in the painting.

He's in front of me right now.

"Wh-o exactly are you?"

Humalakhak ito at mariing tiningnan ako.

"You called me," he said.

What? Did I call him?

I don't even know him.

I know that I died last night because someone hit me with a car. Then I started to regret everything and then... I make a wish.

"I didn't call you," I whispered.

Napaatras ako at napaupo sa kama dahil lumapit ito sa akin.

"You said that you know that it's my birthday." He said while grinning.

What?

This man is creepy and confusing at the same time. It's his birthday, so what?

"I'm talking to god. Yesterday is Christmas." Matapang na pahayag ko.

It's his birthday and he's the one I'm calling.

It's god.

Natigilan ako ng yumuko ito at pinantayan ang mukha ko.

He devilishly smiled.

"I'm the god itself." He answered.

I know that I shouldn't laugh at this moment but hell I did!

"A-are you on drugs?" I asked while still laughing.

That's the funniest thing ever!

"Are you laughing at me human?" He dangerously asked.

"Look, who exactly are you? If I'm really dead then where am I? I'm not here to hear your sick jokes."

Tumalim ang mga mata nito.

"Yes, you are dead and you are here in my mansion. You should be thankful that I will grant your wish. You dare to wish on my birthday." He answered.

Nanlaki ang mata ko.

This man, I know he's not ordinary. He looks the same, he's not aging at all.

Sino ba talaga ang lalaking ito?

Ngumisi ito tila nababasa ang isip ko.

But he can.

"Well, let me introduce myself to you, human. I'm Khaos and I'm the god of darkness and destruction. I'm the chaos that you are waiting,"

My eyes widened in shock. He's what?

"W-what do you mean?"

"You want to bring chaos to the world because you are lonely. You want me and now I'm here, in front of you." He said.

What the hell is happening right now? I'm dead and now I'm talking to the god of destruction?

Is this a dream, a joke, or a freaking nightmare?

"I-if you are the god of destruction, then what do you need from me?"

Ngumiti ito at umayos ng tayo. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag dahil hindi na ito nakadikit sa akin.

He's making me feel uneasy.

Pinagmasdan nito ang malaking buwan sa kalangitan. Ngayon ko lang napansin but this place is beautiful. Malapit ito sa dagat and the moon is shining brightly too, Khaos. Tila ang liwanag nito ay para ka'y, Khaos.

The light shines on his beauty.

"I will grant your wish,"

Tumayo ako at tiningnan ito ng mariin.

What does he mean by that?

"What wish?" I asked.

Mapanuyang tumawa ito sa akin.

"Are you dumb? You still want to live right?"

Natigilan ako dahil sa sinabi nito. He can do it? Of course, he's a freaking god.

"Yo-u will bring me back to life?" I whispered.

He playfully nodded.

"In one condition,"

I sighed as soon as he said that. He's cunning of course. He's the god of darkness, so what do I expect?

I closed my eyes.

No matter what happens, I need to live. I still have an unfinished mission here, and I can't die, not yet.

"What condition?"

Sumeryoso ang mukha nito at malamig na tumingin sa akin. Like he's staring deep into my soul.

"I want your soul,"