My Future Luna

2 | Harsh truths

| Victoria |

“I'll probably go all the way with him tonight,” It wasn’t true. I just wanted to see what Preston would say. He had come to my room while I got ready, instead of going to the movie marathon at the drive in. I told him to go, but he insisted he hang around.

Preston's head shot up at that. His frown pulled both his mouth and brow down. My heart sped up- would I finally get a reaction from him?

“You said you would wait for your mate?” Preston met my gaze through my reflection.

I scoffed to disguise my hurt, “Oh please. I'm the future Luna, Preston, my mate won't be in this pack. I have a strong alpha out there waiting for me and if you don't think he's sowing his own seeds… you've got a lot of growing up to do.”

“Oh… right…”

Preston paused, “What if Keith would be the best choice for your mates Beta? If you two go, um… too far-”

He was worried about my future mate? Wasn't jealous for himself- just for my future mate and Alpha. I narrowed my eyes, furious.

“Seems you want to meet my mate more than I do.” I drew a breath in, trying not to show how angry he made me. He was constantly bringing up my mate when it was the last thing I wanted to think of, especially when I was with him. “Maybe you'll be my mates Beta, huh?”

The idea repelled me. The idea Preston and his mate would be in my life forever- when I couldn't have him? No.

Preston's attention turned fully to me. “I didn't mean-”

“Mean what?” I lifted my chin, and met his eye.

“I just…” Prestons gaze dropped. “I don't want to fight.”

I shook my head, my own gaze falling. It did seem to be all we did now. Everything he said and did just highlighted how he just saw me as his friend. I couldn't help but lash out.

I watched Preston in the mirror. He was looking down at his hands in his lap, his shoulders slumped.

“Do you think I look nice?” I asked suddenly.

Prestons eyes shot up immediately. “Of course. You don’t need to wear so much make up though.”

I stood up, turning as I did. Prestons attention was on me now. His expression was soft- I could tell he was worried about upsetting me, wanting our friendship to be what it was. But it couldn't be- we could never be friends again- not with this feeling inside me.

I swallowed my nerves. “I need your help. I need to make sure my lipstick won't smudge.”

The words left my mouth without thought. I could hear the playfulness in my voice, surprised to feel so confident. Where was this on our movie night?

Preston jumped to his feet immediately, “Okay,”

Before I could let myself chicken out, I grasped the front of his shirt. The shock on his face almost halted my movement, but he wasn't pulling back. My breath was lost as our lips met- his soft and warm- so gentle as they moved against mine.

Our tongues met, my heart picking up speed and my breath rushing back to me. I clutched his shirt tighter in my fists, lost in the best feeling in the world.

Preston shuffled back, his lips still moving against mine but his body practically recoiling from me.

I released my grip hastily. That breath was gone again- this time winding up from a sob that wanted to rise in my chest. Prestons face was fixed with the same shocked expression. No guy I'd ever kissed had that look- nor had they not wanted our bodies touching.

I quickly faced the mirror, doing it in such a way, so Preston couldn't see my face. I wiped at my eyes quickly, sucking in my breath.

“Perfect,” I clipped out. I rushed to leave, stealing myself, so I didn't show how I was feeling.

So dumb, I thought to myself harshly, fighting tears as I practically fled my room. He was repulsed!

I didn’t meet up with Keith as planned, instead finding a spot in the library to hide away- it was unsurprisingly quiet on a Friday night. It gave me time to think. To know what needed to happen.

My crush on Preston had to come to an end.

It hurt too much.

~*~

| Preston |

Every word that came out of my mouth made me cringe. I didn’t know what I was saying- just that my sixteen year old voice was cracking, still a little squeaky from puberty and my concern.

Victoria turned her pretty blue eyes on me with complete disdain. “Oh please. I'm the future Luna, Preston, my mate won't be in this pack. I have a strong alpha out there waiting for me and if you don't think he's sowing his own seeds… you've got a lot of growing up to do.”

She was classically beautiful with blonde hair. She caught people's eye not just because of her beauty, but because of her confidence.

I shied back from her, her words stinging. “Oh… right…”

I scrambled to find a different track, “What if Keith would be the best choice for your mate's Beta? If you two go, um… too far-”

Keith. I hated that guy. He was a mega douche. Victoria deserved so much better than him. Plus, what creep hangs out with kids two years younger than him?

No. I'd been glad he turned out not to be her mate. I had hoped it meant they would stop flirting but instead it ramped up to actual dating- and now…

The words spewed from me and Victorias eyes flashed with anger. I was noticing that a lot lately.

We used to spend most of our nights here, in her room. She'd let me pick a movie, even though she didn't like the horror movies I always chose, and then complain bitterly through the whole thing, except the truly scary ones where she'd spend half the movie hiding under the blanket and clinging to me. It had been weeks since we'd done that though. Her dates took up most of her weekends now.

I was confused by the sick feeling that settled in my stomach. It was a common feeling the last few months as Victoria started to date. Both guys from the pack and humans from school. I chalked the feeling to just wanting to protect her- like everyone did.

And, so, here I was watching her applying makeup, trying subtly to tell her not to… if she really wanted to do stuff like that before she found her mate- well, I’d just wish she’d not chose Keith. Though, I didn’t think any of her suitors were right for her.

I understood that her beauty attracted guys to her, I just didn't think I'd lose her until she found her mate. I didn't blame all these guys trying their chances with her. I tried not to think of her like that, though. She was my friend. It'd be disrespectful, creepy even, if I thought of her in a way other than platonic.

“Hmmm…” she turned in her chair, where she was sitting at her vanity desk.

I was sitting on the edge of her bed, my hands in my lap, and not understanding this feeling inside me.

My eyes lifted, seeing she had gotten up and was walking over to me.

“I need your help,” she had a small smile on her painted-red lips.

“Okay,” I said straight away. She was my best friend. I'd help her with anything. Even if things had been strained lately.

“I need to make sure my lipstick won't smudge.”

I didn't understand her meaning. I stood because I assumed the help she needed didn't involve being in her bed.

She grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me forward. I saw the way her lips parted, and while wildly shocked, I went with it and returned her kiss.

I'd never kissed anyone before. Her lips were still soft despite the makeup, her tongue hot as it pushed against mine, both of us drawing each others out.

The rolling wet feeling of her tongue invoked a stirring in my groin. I shifted my hips back, suddenly freaking out that she’d feel my boner.

She pulled back abruptly, letting go of me dismissively. Returning to her mirror, she checked out her reflection.

“Perfect,” she clipped out, as she tested the steadfastness of her lipstick with her finger.

I stumbled back, and sat my confused ass onto the bed.

“Victoria,” I called, but she was already out in the hall. My palms felt suddenly clammy. Wiping them on my jeans, I stood and looked at my face in the Victorias mirror. The lipstick really hadn’t smudged.

A kiss. My first kiss.

I looked like a stunned mullet. I felt a slightly goofy smile tug at my lips. Truth be told I was happy it was with Victoria, but in my mind it would have been more… romantic?

As soon as any sense of elation felt it was dampened by a cold wash of embarrassment for feeling happy about the kiss.

Arg, I thought and rolled my eyes. I'm such a loser. She said she wanted to test her lipstick, and then went on her date.

A few things she said floated across my memory. The crack about me being her mates Beta. It wasn't so far-fetched. Though not probable, it sounded like she thought it was impossible.

And now that I thought of the kiss more- there was no way it had meant anything to her. In fact, I questioned if it hadn't been a joke or something. She went off to go on a date with another guy- was this her way of saying I meant as little to her as they did?

Things had been strange between Victoria and me since she turned sixteen a few months before me. I guess it was usual for childhood friends to drift apart, but I didn't understand why it was like she didn't really like me anymore. I thought our interests would separate us, not… whatever this was.

With a heavy heart I made my way downstairs and to the kitchen. My mum was packing away some cookies, the rest of the kitchen staff retired for the evening.

“Preston,” my mum looked up in surprise as I entered the kitchen. “What are you doing here so late?”

“Just wandering around. I'm bored.”

“Well, come and help me with this.” Even though she ran the whole kitchen she still loved to cook and bake, and not just do the managing part.

I came around the massive central bench of the galley kitchen. She had made also made muffins for the ranked family’s breakfast. They had larger mixing machines for the packhouse breakfast, the baked goods looking more production based than the ones she was taking out of the oven.

I gently pushed her aside and took over, able to lift the two trays at once.

My mum smiled at my efficient handling. They were Victoria's favourite muffin- raspberry and white chocolate. I set them to cool and then proceeded to help her with the glaze she had the ingredients out for.

My mum didn't get to have a daughter, only having me. Growing up in and around the packhouse, Victoria had been a little ray of sunshine. The pack loved their future leader, but my mum cherished her.

Watching me work, my mum leant against the counter. I got my colouring from her. I had warm blonde hair, darker than Victorias. My eyes were the same brown as my mums, my dad’s a darker shade.

I looked more like my dad physically- well at least in the face as I was still like a beanstalk. I was looking forward to those werewolf genes kicking in and helping me get swole.

“You're a natural at this- not that you don't excel at anything you put your mind to,” she said encouragingly.

I avoided looking up, “Um…”

I needed to decide between following my father into becoming a warrior or apprentice in the kitchen- maybe one day taking over. She brought in a few apprentices each year and I'd aced the test they made you do to apply.

I loved to cook and when I was younger I loved hanging around the packhouse. But I think that was because of Victoria and our friendship back then- the idea of serving directly under her when she became Luna made me feel uncomfortable now- she may not even allow it, with how we were drifting, and then I'd be stuck. I wouldn't be able to progress above a cook.

Warrior training made more sense. My dad loved it- I may not get to elite level like him, but there were other warrior positions- even becoming a packhouse guard and helping to keep everyone safe. I liked the idea of that. Protecting the pack.

My mum waited patiently.

I let my feelings from that night make the decision for me.

I fought not to show any emotion, as I informed her of my choice, “I have been thinking about what to focus on-” I took a big breath, seeing the look on my mum's face- she looked curious and a little apprehensive. “I will dedicate myself to warrior training.”

“Oh,” she quickly covered her disappointment with a smile. “If that's what you want- I know your dad will be thrilled.”

~*~

My dad was thrilled. I told him the very next day. He put me on an even tougher regime than even the ranked wolves were on, that started that very week.

My body had never felt so sore than those first two weeks. I wondered if my dad secretly hated me. I had to get up with him every morning at 5am for over two hours of training and then the usual training for my age, each afternoon. Many being run in parallel for different age brackets.

“You need to work harder than a ranked wolf,” he'd told me. We were omega wolves. My wolf would always be weaker than an alphas, when I got him. I was determined to be the best I could be.

I was grateful for the distraction training gave me. After that night, it felt like Victoria was avoiding me. It stung but I didn’t want to seem desperate so I gave her space. When I did see her, in the following weeks, she would be dismissive or outright mean.

It would have been interesting to observe if I hadn’t been the center of the phenomenon of no longer being Victoria's friend. The pack members that were in our year, were Victoria's friends. I really had only ever had Victoria as my friend. And the humans even seemed to feel the gravitational pull that was Victoria. Me no longer in the orbit of that meant I was fair game.

I wasn’t the nerdy guy that hung out with the cool girl at school. I was now the nerdy loner who the cool girl didn’t like anymore.

The shift in attitude towards me was slow at first but the escalation was quick. Apart from the snide comments and icing out, the big tell came when I started to hear the humans talking about me. They were whispering to each other, not realising I could hear them. Even without our wolves we have improved hearing. The rumours were weird and specific, pretty much painting me like a pathetic loser.

Defending myself seemed to only make it worse, so I'd taken to retreating to the back room of the library. The librarian let me study here at lunch, and I put all the books away and ran errands as a thanks. It wasn't quite how I'd expected my junior year to go, becoming a leper, barely halfway through the school year.

It had been over a month since the last time Victoria and I were friendly, and I was delivering some text books to the lab. I had sat down to look through one. I hadn't taken sciences, but I did find it interesting.

“I thought he was your friend.”

My ears pricked up at the familiar voice coming from the hall. Alison. A human, but she seemed cool. We liked the same type of music. She'd started just after the beginning of the school year. One of the very few students that were still talking to me.

“Oh gods no,” Victoria scoffed.

I flinched. Actually, flinched like she had struck me. They wouldn’t be talking about me, right?

~*~