For the Famiglia: Intertwined fate

Coffee and Conversation

The coffee in my hand was going cold, I could just feel it from the mug alone the cooler weather didn’t really help. It wasn’t cold enough to deter people from being outside but just enough that a coat or thicker jumper was needed. I probably chose poorly today but I didn’t think about it, I was too tired the mess with Mr Dellahue played in my head like a well-rehearsed orchestra. The scenes to clear, I was a woman part of a dark world in which I shouldn’t be so close to the grime of it yet where ever I turned s**t seemed to keep dirtying my boots. I was just too tired though as though the horror of my marriage didn’t keep me awake enough sleepless nights seemed to be a constant occurrence for me. I knew Rina was worried it’s why she invited me over but I could feel her eyes burning holes into my skin, my neck left exposed from the off-the-shoulder baggy knitted jumper I wore. I didn’t want to face those eyes, so here I sat staring off the balcony of her apartment, glued to the busy city as the coffee in my clutches grew colder and colder with each silent breath. “Fia?” Rina called I don’t know how many times she had called my name but it seemed to gain my attention this time “are you okay?” she questioned I merely nodded what could I say the answer was No it was always no it had been no for quite some time now but I didn’t want to shoulder that on Rina. She had a good life here she had grown up so much from the stubborn girl I grew up with to a strong woman “I don’t know why I ask...”

“I don’t know either...”

“You always lie” she replied.

“Yet you always ask” I countered.

“because one day I’m hoping you will slip up” Rina smiled. I loved my cousin yet sometimes I was jealous of her it made me think I should of went along with an arranged marriage instead of marrying a man I thought I was in love with. Love is a great thing some of us get yet here we were one of us made to marry the other married out of love yet only one of them panned out.

I let out a light laugh “that would never happen...”

“Did you hear you they are arranging a new job for you?” she asked lifting her cup to her lips and a smirk made its way to my face, however.

“No doubt you had a hand in that?”

She giggled to herself “I might have mentioned it”

“Whatever it is..” I shrugged “I will always be grateful they didn’t ship me back home.”

“Your mother would no doubt already be planning your next wedding—“

I scoffed “she already nags me about it on every phone call as it is. I’ve even heard the maybe I will listen about arranged marriages now after all look how yours turned out” I mocked.

Rina rolled her eyes “She’s never even liked me now she’s using me as an example? How the mighty have fallen” I couldn’t help but laugh I knew she wasn’t insulting me but it felt true, I was definitely fallen I used to be gushed over and now I was merely a widow too damaged to fix.

“She just doesn’t want me to get too old and be alone. I’m only twenty-one but she won’t be happy till I pop out five babies” I joked it was a little self-deprecating because it was true try as I might nothing would make my mother happier than that it was sadder still because I knew deep down I still wanted that. Love, Marriage a family I always had but it felt so far away now. Perhaps I was too damaged.

Rina seemed to sense it though maybe it was my tone I don’t know but she seemed sympathetic. She got up from the plush cushioned chair across from me and made her way over to my side “You’ve always been my best friend you know” she spoke softly it was odd sometimes when she was soft. Was this the side she showed to Santos? Her bluntness had always been her bread and butter but as she’s grown that harshness was less like a razor ready to cut you open.

“And you’ve always been mine” she held my hand for a moment in support. Our life gave hardship, didn’t everyone’s really but some were harder than others and our lives could be tough. Not prepared for the reality of the world until you’re hit in the face with it and this world, the one we live in was never kind.

“There you are” Santos’s voice broke our silence somehow we had found ourselves staring out at the city view. Adjusted to lights but still so far from where we had grown.

“I invited, Fia over” she simply explained.

“Hello Fia” he acknowledged coming closer. Santos was a large man and the stoic look on his face made you wonder if he was just about to break your neck but if you were in the quiet moments with him and Rina it was a different side. I had worried at the beginning with his reputation that he would be far worse than my own husband but that obviously wasn’t the case not with the way he looked at Rina anyway a look I wished I wasn’t envious of not that I wanted that from Santos but merely to have that sort of love.

“Hello” I spoke politely as he approached Rina’s side his fingers brushed over the back of her head it was quite a sweet sight and I couldn’t help but notice my cousin attempting to hide the smile.

“I needed to speak with you actually” his tone suddenly fell serious “Marco wants to meet with you.”

“About what happened?”

“About your new job. Marco wants you to work with him...”