His Hired Bed warmer

HHBW-1

Chapter One

Scars from the past

Rohan

"Are you leaving me? Siya ba talaga ang pinipili mo?" Hinawakan ko ang magkabilang balikat ni Mia. I was trying to lock my eyes on her but she keeps on avoiding me. Dapat naiintindihan ko na ang sagot niya ngayon palang but I wanted to hear it from her. I refused to believe everything yet, I have to try one last time. Baka sakaling magbago pa ang isip niya.

"Mahal ko si Rowin kaya tigilan mo na ako, Rohan...Palayain mo na ako."

I didn't know how many knives stabbed my heart when I saw her cry, like begging me to let go.

Kailan lang ay nangako kaming walang iwanan... and that we will love each other always.

Pero bakit nakikita ko na ang dulo natin, Mia?

Pilit siyang kumalas sa mga kamay ko. When she turned her back, I wanted to grab her hands but I couldn't. Hindi niya ako nilingon. It was like she already made up her mind.

"Mia!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I wanted her to stop walking away from me. I wanted her to come back and take back what she said.

Dahil tatanggapin ko ulit siya.

"Mia..." Napaluhod ako sa sahig at tila nararamdaman ko ang panghihina ng mga tuhod ko. Inilapat ko ang kamay ko sa dibdib ko.

It hurts. I can't breathe. I don't want to keep living like this.

Si Mia ang mundo ko. Si Mia ang lahat-lahat sa akin. If she leaves like this, then what will be left of me?

Nothing...

I'm just an empty vessel without the woman I love. Mia filled my entire life. I lived because of her.

***

Nang iminulat ko ang mga mata ko ay napabalikwas ako ng bangon. It's Morning already and I saw the rays of the sun from my windows. Napasapo ako sa ulo ko. Mukhang napadami na naman ang nainom kong alak kagabi.

It was just a dream but it felt like it was real...

I stood up and opened my window. I always do the same routine every day. Gigising ako sa umaga at papasok sa trabaho. Uuwi ng lasing at itutuloy ang paglalasing sa bahay ko. Wala namang bago sa buhay ko. No surprises, No progress, I'm just getting old while I'm killing time.

I miss the feeling of looking forward to something. But I always wake up without expecting anything.

I guess the only thing that never leaves me is my loneliness. Some people say that you must'nt drown yourself with the empty feeling inside you. But if that's all I've got then I refuse to believe.

Pagod na ako sa buhay, kailan kaya mapapagod ang buhay sa akin?

Napasulyap ako sa sidetable kung saan nakita ko ang larawan ni Mia. I still have it, even though she's gone...forever

Masakit na iniwan ako ni Mia at pinagpalit niya ako sa kapatid ko. I never got over about it. But Mia's death is even more painful because that means I will never see her again.

Hindi rin tanggap ni Rowin ang nangyari sa kanya. Mia died while they were on a mission. He blamed himself for that. Nagbago nang husto ang buhay ng kapatid ko nang dahil sa paghahanap niya ng hustisya sa pagkamatay ni Mia.

We got the justice that we wanted, pero hindi na babalik si Mia. It doesn't change anything.

***

"Magkakasakit ka sa ginagawa mo" I smiled a bit upon hearing that voice. Parang boses ng isang nanay na pinagsasabihan ang anak.

Nang nilingon ko si Rowin ay nilagok ko kaagad ang alak sa baso ko. It's early in the morning and he is giving me a frown.

"Napakayaman mo, tapos hindi ka makabili ng pagkain?" Padabog namang nilapag ni Rowin ang mga papeles sa mesa ko.

"Umagang-umaga, tagay?" reklamo pa nito. Napatawa na lang ako sa inasta niya.

I know Rowin has changed. I really believe now that having a child changes everything. Mas naging responsable na ang kapatid ko.

Rowin and I are fraternal twins. Gano'n pa man magakaiba kami halos sa lahat ng bagay. I can say, he is the better one.

"Isang baso lang," ang sabi ko naman sa kanya.

"Stop drinking alcohol and eat a proper meal," naging seryoso naman bigla ang tono ng boses ni Rowin. Hindi na ako nakasagot dahil umalis din kaagad ito ng silid.

Bigla akong napaisip sa sinabi ni Rowin. When was the last time that I was able to eat a proper meal?

Pati sa pagkain ay nawawalan na ako ng gana. Naging comfort zone ko ang alak, yosi at iba pa.

***

I came to a different bar tonight. I'm starting to dislike the ambiance of the bar I used to go. This place is bigger. It's louder and it's seems more interesting.

There is round counter at the center. May mga nakaupo doon habang pinagmamasdan ang mga bartender na gumawa ng drink. Marami silang bartender dito kumpara sa dati kong pinupuntahan. Well, let's see if there are more surprises.

"Give me your best seller shots."

"Right away, Sir" masayang sabi naman ng bartender sa akin.

I keep seeing people here that are enjoying different shots. I was challenged to try what's their best seller dahil samu't-saring shots ang nakikita ko. May rainbow shots, flaming shots at iba pa. These are perfect if you have your squad with you.

Bigla akong na-distract nang maramdaman kong may mga mata na nakatitig sa akin. Nakita ko ang likod ng babaeng ito kanina habang papunta ako rito. We are one seat apart and I am really distracted by her stares dahil medyo tumatagal na ang pagtitig niya sa akin.

I focused my attention on the three shots that the bartender gave me. I think the one that I am holding is whisky with coffee and I'm not sure of the other ingredients. The others are obviously made with tequila.

"Your eyes..." I speak up as soon as I drink the first shot. Mukhang nagulat naman ito nang magsalita ako.

"Why? They are mine. You need them?" she said mockingly. Her voice was really feminine pero palaban.

"They are staring too much at me, wonder why?" I asked without glancing at her. Instead I focused my eyes to my second shot, which had a great kick. Or maybe hindi lang ako sanay sa tequila.

"I'm a woman. Bukod sa alak ano pa ba ang maari kong pakay dito? Syempre lalaki" mataray na sagot naman nito.

I have to say, I commend her honesty.

"I understand" I said.

"So, type mo ako?" I finally get to look at her. We stared each other for few seconds.

I can say that she is beautiful and sexy. She can easily tempt other man. The way she dress is quiet similar to those girls I've seen who are working in a bar.

"Hindi naman kita tititigan nang matagal kung hindi," she arcs her eye brow. Palaban talaga ang isang 'to.

"I see, bottom line it for me," napakunot naman ang noo niya sa sinabi ko. I was expecting her to get what I am saying.

"What?" she asked.

I saw the last shot left. Tinungga ko iyon. Mas matapang yata ang isang 'to. But I am not yet drunk. Nasa tamang pag-iisip pa naman ako.

Lumipat ako sa upuan na nasa pagitan naming dalawa. I don't know if that was necessary but I am enjoying our talk. I like how curious she is right now. I like it that she is paying attention to what I might say next.

"What do you want?" nahuli ko rin sa wakas ang mga titig niya. I don't know what's stopping her to respond though the answer is very obvious.

"Girls in this bar used to like two things..." I said as my hand moved on its own. Ni hindi ko pinagtalunan sa isip ko kung hahawakan ko ba ang buhok niya. Hinawi ko ito at inilagay sa likod ng tenga niya.

"Money or pleasure. Which one is it?"

***