Forever Yours

Chapter one: Aiden

It was dark outside. There were no stars in the sky, not like I paid attention. The darkness never bothered me anyway. Sometimes, I feel more comfortable in the dark. No one can see me, but I can see them. The moon wasn’t out, making everything around me more mysterious. Creepy. There was a cold breeze, which was weird for this time of year in Texas. I’ve been home for about a month and I’m going crazy. I need to do something. Anything. The quiet was eating away at me, but I need to be here. I can’t leave, not yet. Not until things are settled, not until the demons inside of me are settled.

I need to be here for my sister, Ivy, Finn, and Miles. And everyone else but those four are my priority. Sawyer, Ivy and Miles will always be my priority. I guess Finn too, since he’s married to my sister. Growing up, we had no one else. It was just us for years and letting people in was something I didn’t do well. It was something I tried not to do. You learn at a young age not to trust anyone. Keep your emotions and feelings to yourself. Protect those that are closest.

Moving down here, they are trying to break past my barrier. They’re trying hard, but I won’t let them. I can’t. I won’t. I’ll be there with everyone, but I’ll be quiet, observant, always watching. The guys want to get to know me, but I refuse to open up. Nothing that happens will open me up.

I’ve learned a lot in my twenty-nine years of life.

Show no fear and go into every mission with a clear head. Don’t let them see or know your weakness. Fight for survival. Do whatever means necessary to be the one that walks away.

It’s been cemented in my head on more than one occasion.

Seeing my baby sister in the hospital more times than I can count eats at you. She tells me all the time she’s fine. I believe her. I see that she is. She knows something is up. She’s tried to talk to me about it but even with her, I’m closed off.

This last tour really f****d me up in more ways than one. I try to hide it for them and especially, for Miles. They both know I’m not happy here. They both told me that if I wanted to re-up, it was okay.

But for some reason, I can’t leave.

Not yet.

But soon though. Soon I’m leaving. They understand and that’s all that matters.

I’ve been coming to this hole in the wall bar since I came back from tour. No one knows the gory details regarding what happened. I don’t want them to know. Felix could see that something had happened. He doesn’t need me to explain things. With one look he just knew.

It’s why I ended up coming home early. Sawyer has tried to talk to me about it but I can’t. I can’t tell her what happened. I won’t. It’s my burden. It’s my story. It’s my nightmare.

But at this place, I feel like I can be a bit of myself. I always sit on the same stool at the corner of the bar. I always get the same beer, just one, and drink half. I pick at the label until the beer is warm and off and after a couple of hours, I leave with no word spoken. I come here to get away from the hustle and bustle that surrounds us. I come here for the quiet and to be in my own thoughts. f**k that. I came here for her.

The gorgeous and petite bartender with the pink stripe in her long, black hair. Her smile does something to me, something that I’ve never experienced before. It feels like an upset stomach. I don’t like it. When I catch her eye, there is a pressure in my chest, almost like a heart attack. I detest it. But something about her draws me here. Something I can’t put my finger on.

She’s suspicious. She’s hiding something.

We all are, but her secrets are something I feel the need to uncover.

In due time.

I’m watching her. I’m keeping an eye on her. I don’t trust her. I can’t trust her. I can’t trust anyone, especially women. Not after what happened eight years ago. I won’t go down that road again. But I can’t walk away. I’ve tried and I always end up back here, at the same stool.

I walked through the door, leaving the darkness to come into this dump. God, I hate this place. I hate everything about it. The lights were dim and there was terrible music playing in the background. It was a quiet night. Not a lot of people, never really is. It’s how it usually is on a Wednesday. I scanned the area, making sure nothing was out of place or caught my attention. No bouncers.

No security.

Nothing.

A couple of patrons.

Two bartenders. One cook.

I stood there, my hands clenching into fists when I looked over at her. I hate this feeling. I don’t want to go there. I tell myself no, but my feet have a mind of their own. I try to stop them from walking over and sitting on that stool but they don’t listen. They never do. I sat down and looked over at her and she had a tense look on her face. She’s mad. Frustrated. Something happened and I want to know.

But I can’t ask her. That would mean talking to her.

Her hand is trembling just a bit, almost not noticeable. But I see it. Her jaw is tense as she clenches her teeth, making the tendons and veins in her neck stick out just a bit. Her eyes are large, surprised, angry, scared, as she stares into the guy’s eyes. Her palms are on the counter under the main bar top, her fingers tapping, over and over. Nervous. She wanted to get away. She wants to run, but she can’t. There is so much tension in her shoulders. Her right foot is crossed over on top of her left and shaking just a bit. My eyes shifted to the man she was talking to, briefly. I took in his appearance. I’ve seen him before and every time I do, something inside me tells me to take care of him. Make him disappear. But I don’t.

Dark hair, messy, oily. Unwashed. His clothes have seen better days. There were small holes in his shirt at the bottom and it was stained. The bottom of his jeans were tattered. His skin looked like he needed a good scrubbing. His teeth were yellow, probably from drinking and smoking too many cigarettes. He was thin, too thin for a normal person. There are marks on his arms. Needles. Drugs. He’s a broken man. An angry, broken man.

Why the f**k is he here and why is he talking to her?

What does she have to do with him?

“I need it.” I read his lips, “I need the money now. You better have it or else.”

“I don’t have it.” She said back as her head fell, “You need to get out of here before….”

“Before what? You call the cops on me again? You wouldn’t dare.” He snickered and smirked, “You are a good for nothing bitch.”

“Watch me.” She snapped, “I’m not scared of you anymore.”

“Do it and see what happens. It won’t be the last time you walk away with…” and that was enough.

No way in fuckin’ hell was he going to sit there and threaten her. f**k him.

He slammed his hand on the counter and pointed at her. That was the last straw. I stood up, knocked over the bar stool I was sitting on and immediately went over there. Storming, stomping, a man on a mission. My knuckles were white from clenching into my skin. I could feel the palms of my hands starting to bleed from my nails. I felt tension immediately on my face, my entire body. If he touches her I’ll kill him and there’s no one here to stop me.

I might not trust her, but no one, and I mean no one, raises their voice at a woman, not on my watch. I don’t care about the reason. She looked over at me with wide eyes, scared, as I came over. My own eyes shifted from hers to his. His head snapped at me with a glare as he took me in.

He gulped. One step back. Wrong move.

Yes, be afraid, you mother fucker.

No one f***s with my girl…wait…what? No. She’s not mine. I pushed that thought out of my head and went over.

“You need to step away.” I said sternly, but softly, so no one but her and him could hear. Those were the first words I had ever said in front of her. Her breath hitched. I don’t know why. I don’t care why.

“What’s it to you? This has nothing to do with you,” he sneered, and turned his head back to her. I reached out and grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt.

“I suggest you take a step back from her.” I’m not backing down. Not now. Not ever.

“Leave.” She said with a tremor in her voice, but the look on her face was all business.

“Luna.” He sneered, “Get this fucker away from me or else.” He started to use his other hand to reach into his pocket. A knife? Gun? Who fuckin’ cares.

“Leave. Before things get worse.” She spoke. She tried to sound strong, but you could hear the fear. I gripped his other arm before he could reach down and grab whatever it was he had and twisted it behind him. He yelped in pain.

Pussy-ass b***h.

“Fuckin’ bitch.” He mumbled before I forced him to stand up straight. I didn’t let him go. I couldn’t. I needed to make sure he left, “I’ll be back just you fuckin’ wait.” He yelled at her as I started to walk him to the door.

“Is that a threat?” I snapped. My eyes turned black. Rage. Anger. It was building up. I was hanging by a thread. It was about to snap.

“f**k you.” He snapped at me, “I’ll fuckin kill you.”

That’s it. I grabbed him by the back of his dirty, scrawny neck and pulled him out the front door. I didn’t listen to a word he said. I couldn’t. The anger was built up inside of me to the point I heard nothing around me. I didn’t hear the threats he was spewing at me and Luna. Nothing.

I took part of my strength and threw him out of the damn building. All I heard was ‘watch your back’ as I turned and started to walk back to the bar. I paused and turned.

“Bring it motherfucker. You messed with the wrong person.”

He went to stand up and came towards me, but I beat him to it. Literally beat him. One punch in the gut, a knee to the jaw and a right hook to his head and he was down. He stumbled for a moment before getting to his feet, a black piece of s**t car pulling up as he pulled himself to it.

I walked towards him but he was already in the car. He spit at my feet.

“Watch your back, cowboy.” He sneered.

“Not a fuckin’ cowboy.” I grumbled, “Stay away from this place or next time we meet it won’t be so pleasant.”

“Looking forward to it.”

I wanted to do more. I wanted to go after the car. I could. I should have. But something was telling me to go back to the bar. Something was telling me to make sure she was okay. I looked at the bar and heard the sound of peeling tires.

Gone.

I walked back in and the few people that were there looked at me and then went back to their conversation like it was another night. No one knew what was said, so who knows and who cares what they thought. I stood at the door and took it in again. Maybe this bar wasn’t half bad. It wasn’t a hole in the wall. It was actually well maintained, but my eyes were fogged with the bars from home Felix and I used to hit up. As I took it in again, my eyes caught hers and we stood there, not moving. A stare off. It wasn’t until she shook her head and turned and went to the back.

Leave. I told myself. You did your good deed of the day. Just go back home.

She doesn’t need you. She doesn’t want you.

You don’t need her.

You don’t want her.

You can’t trust her.

But I didn’t listen. I followed her to the back without a care in the world.

Weeks. Weeks I’ve been watching her. Waiting. Biding my time.

Why do I want her? I don’t trust her. I don’t know her.

But f**k, isn’t she beautiful. But I’ll keep that to myself.

“Get out of here. You can’t be back here.” She snapped with her back facing me. She won’t look at me. She sees what everyone else saw; a monster. Because it’s who I am. I’ve done things, terrible things, and I accept it.

Because that’s me.

“You need to control your boyfriend better before he hurts you or someone else.” I snapped and she just laughed before turning to look at me. Glaring. Anger covered her entire face. She was pissed.

Good.

“One.” She held up her hand, “He’s not my boyfriend and two, who the hell are you to do anything or tell me what to do?” “Where was that fire when you were faced with the asshat?” I sneered.

“I don’t know who you think you are, but you need to leave and not come back.” Her voice shook. She’s scared of me. Good. She should be. But she also should know I would never harm her. I won’t let anyone harm her.

Over my dead body.

I stalked over to her as she backed away from me into the wall. Her breath hitched as my hands slammed flat by her head. My body, mere inches from hers. So close, I could hear her heartbeat. Her palms were flat against the wall. Her breathing was faster. Her eyes met mine, shifted, dilated. She gulped and licked her lips as her eyes shifted from mine to my lips and back to my eyes. I want her. I want to taste her. Every bit of her.

She wants me too.

“Trust me, sweetheart.” I said softly into her ear, “You don’t want to push me.”

“Or what? You don’t scare me.” she whispered, “Maybe I want to push you.”

“I scare you. I know I do. But I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Then why are you here?” she asked softly.

I pulled my head away from her ear and looked into her eyes. Green. Emerald fuckin’ green. Large. Gorgeous. My hand snaked into her hair and gripped it, tilting her head back a bit as her breath hitched. My lips slammed on hers.

What the f**k am I doing?

Why am I losing control?

I never lose control!

Sparks.

I need her.

I want her, every part of her, but I can’t. I can’t do that, not to her and not to me.

Ten seconds later, I pulled away, my eyes never leaving hers.

“I don’t know why I’m here, but I’m not going anywhere. See you Saturday sweetheart.” I pushed away and walked out of the back room and out to my car, to drive home as quickly as I could to get away from her.

What the f**k did I just do?

How could one little woman captivate me?

A fuckin’ Siren.

My Siren.

My Sweetheart,

Luna.

“Hayes.” I felt someone kick my boot as I laid on my cot. I just wanted five minutes of fuckin’ sleep. I just wanted to dream about my fuckin’ siren at home. Is that so much to fuckin’ ask? I moved my arm from my face and looked up at my commander, “You got three today. You’re a popular s**t aren’t you?” he laughed as he tossed the three letters on my stomach.

“When are you headed home?” One of the guys asked me as I sat up and ran my fingers through my overgrown hair. I fuckin’ hate it.

I shrugged as I held the letters in my hand, “Soon. I think,” I mumbled.

“What was the plan?” Cole else asked as he sat across from me, “When are we supposed to know?”

He was one of the guys that came from Crossdale too. He was on the younger side, five years younger and it was his first tour. We met during training and he stuck to me during the entire time. Honestly, I don’t mind. He talks about the people from home and keeps me updated on some of the s**t going on, s**t that I don’t care about and s**t I do.

He needed someone to confide his fears in and since this isn’t my first tour, I took him on.

“Finn reached out and got s**t settled with us taking a leave. We leave next week if all goes to plan.” I mumbled as I ripped open the first letter, Miles.

My son.

My life.

My everything.

He was unexpected, but he was the best and only gift I would ever accept from that b***h. He’s mine and mine alone and I would do anything and everything for him.

Which is why he doesn’t know after this tour, I’m done.

Hanging up my combat books and guns to finally take the roll on of father. Dad.

I’ve missed too much over the years. Parts of me regret it, other parts don’t. But that’s who I am.

He’s excited. He found out that his teacher for the fall was going to be Miss. Avery. Luna. He loves her to pieces. I mean, who doesn’t? She weaseled her way into their lives and she didn’t even know it.

But she’s changed. I don’t know what happened, but over the year or so I’ve known her, she’s become more closed off. She’s become more timid. Scared. She doesn’t talk as much. She doesn’t have that spark she used to have. Or the spunk.

I’m still drawn to her. I still want to be there even though I tell myself to walk away.

Walk away and shut down. I tried.

I fuckin’ tried.

But I kept going into that fuckin’ bar. I kept stealing glances. Soon, there were a few words here and there. Our barriers started to break, slightly.

When we snuck time together, the little bit we had, it was fuckin’ wonderful, but I still kept a part of me to myself. Closed off.

I wanted to open up to her. I tried. Kind of. But something was telling me to stop. I don’t know what it was, but I am determined to figure it out.

I don’t know if it was her or me. Or both.

I mean, I haven’t seen her since I left around New Years, so hopefully she’s more herself.

God, just thinking about New Years made me get a semi. I just need to fuckin’ see her even if she will never be mine. I tucked that thought into the little black box in the back of my mind. Not here. Not now. Maybe not ever.

But there is this gut-wrenching feeling that something’s wrong. I can’t put my finger on it.

I didn’t get a chance to get to the other two letters, one from Felix and the other from Sawyer. But it all fuckin’ sucks.

“We gotta move out!” One of the guys said. We stood up and started to strap on our gear.

“One fuckin’ week.” I muttered, “One more goddamn week before I’m home with my family.” I tilted my head from side to side, listening to the sickening ‘c***k’. I rolled my shoulders and headed out, ready to get this s**t done and over with.

As soon as this tour is done, I’m done. I’m so fuckin’ done.

I needed to get home.

“I never seen you like this man.” Cole said as we rushed out of the barricks and into the Humvee. We started to head out into the desert, my mind focused on the task at hand, “What’s got your panties in a twist?”

“Home.” I grunted, “A lot of s**t on my mind.”

“One week and we’re there.” He grinned, “One more fuckin’ week. God, I can’t wait to see my family.”

One more fuckin’ week.