Forever Yours

Chapter Two: Luna

I slammed my phone down so hard to the point I thought I may have broken it. That would be my luck because lord knows I don’t have a damn dime to my name right now. God, why can’t I just live a normal life? A quiet life? A drama free life? I thought I had found it. I thought I had found a place where I could be me and live the life I wanted to live. I thought I had found a place I could start over. Hell, I did begin to start over. No one knew who I was and that was what I wanted. I could be anyone! I thought I was doing well, but as soon as things start to settle down, when I can finally be happy and live my life, my past catches up to me. No matter how many times I move and how far away I go, they find me.

They always seem to find me.

My head hung low as I let the defeat out of my body. My hands shook on the bathroom counter just thinking about the voicemail I got. My body hurt from it being so tense. I could feel the migraine coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

This was so much easier last year.

I found a home, until they came and tried to destroy it. I had a decent place to live, until they got me kicked out. I had a job that I enjoyed, and even that is on thin ice because of the drama they're causing, and I had just finished school, so I could start my dream job of being a teacher. I started to make friends, something I haven’t had in a long time.

But now, it’s ruined. They know things, things that I kept hidden, and their threats are not empty. They'll make good on them. I've seen it before.

The words that were spewed were enough for me to start isolating myself again before the past repeats itself. I can't lose anyone else I care about and when I get enough to my name, maybe I'll have to leave again, even if I don't want to.

“Damn it.” I muttered and closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. I can’t go back to that life. I can’t get sucked in.

But I always do.

No matter how much I fight it and run off, it always follows.

There was a knock from the door, startling me, “Luna. Are you okay?” one of the other bartenders asked.

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a sec!” I called out to her. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Standing up straight, I shook out my hands and bounced a bit on my feet, “Just a couple more hours and I can get out of here and get some sleep. Finally,” With one final look in the mirror and fixing my hair, I made the decision to head out and finish the night.

Everything else can wait until later.

I willed my body out of the bathroom and headed right back behind the bar. It was one of the few places I felt comfortable in. I could stand there, mix drinks, and listen to people’s problems. They spill so much when they have something to drink. I was the town’s unofficial therapist at that point. I know more about people than their best friends, and it’s always things I would never repeat. Bartender code and all.

When I’m here, I am the most loved person in this town. As soon as I leave, I’m invisible, just the way I like it.

After making someone a couple of lemon drop shots for a table having a girl’s night out, I heard a familiar voice from behind me.

“Hey! Pretty girl!” she yelled. I looked over my shoulder and gave Ava and Sawyer a small smile, “When you get a sec can you come over here?”

“Yeah, in a minute.” I called back and turned back to the patrons in front of me.

To be honest, I didn’t want to talk to them. I have nothing against them. They’re all good people. Actually, they’re amazing and I love all of them. Each one of them has accepted me with open arms and don’t push me more than I’m comfortable. If I put in the time, I know for sure we could be best friends, but the one thing I've learned over the past few years is not to have those kind of relationships.

They never last.

I met Ava months ago when she started to work here with me to get some extra money for her mom’s treatments. We’ve had plenty of nights where we just talked about everything, and I was one of the few that knew what was going on with Sarah, but I was sworn to secrecy.

No matter what happens, I would never break that trust.

I started to hang around Ava more, and she soon started to invite me over to the girls' houses when they would have these get-togethers. I enjoyed them. It was nice to be around people and pretend to have a normal life, but I always had this feeling that this was too good to be true. I was always scared that all this would be ripped away from me at some point.

It always happens.

Without fail.

I’ve gotten close to all of them, but there was always someone I tried to keep my distance from. Aiden. He had this broody, mysterious thing going on, and I couldn’t help but think he was holding dark secrets. I tried to stay away, but it always seemed like my eyes would always find his when he was around. My body would know when he was close, instantly knowing when he would come into the room.

Apparently, me hiding my infatuation with him didn’t go unnoticed because these two have been trying to push Aiden and me together since Ava started to work with me. It didn’t help that before everything crashed and burned that I made it perfectly known I was interested, so trying to hide my interest after the fact didn’t work.

Hell, I even ran to the backroom where she was and told her about the hot guy in the police shirt and that just happened to be Aiden.

But I couldn’t drag him into my mess. I couldn’t bring him into my life. He saw a small bit of it last year when he stood up for me. I still think he was crazy to stand up to him, but what do I know? Ever since that night, I have tried to do everything I could to stay away from him and everyone else, but he would always show back up like clockwork and always sit on the same stool and drink the same beer. So, I did what I do best. I tried to distance myself from them, all of them, and avoided him when he was at the bar. I tried to make excuses about not going to the bonfires, BBQ’s and get-togethers. I tried picking up extra shifts at the bar whenever they were available and jumped when someone asked for me to cover for them, or purposely waiting to get home to grade the papers of the classes I was subbing for, so I could use work as an excuse to not go out with them.

I tried.

But they still came and dragged me into their lives.

I needed to distance myself from them before they got hurt because if anything happened to them, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. They have whole lives, significant others, family, and I don’t know what I would do if something happened to them.

I know from past experience they have connections. Austin, Eli and Tristian were well known in this town and had the means to do whatever needed to keep them safe, and I know with one phone call from them, I would be included, but I wouldn’t let that happen. Dylan, Jordan and Finn all have taken some sort of boxing or fighting and have the strength to protect. Aiden and Felix were in the military. Well, Aiden still is. Archer and Gage are cops. The girls have their own ways to protect each other and the kids. I know if I told them what was going on, they would help.

But I can’t do that. It would put them at risk as well as their children.

While I was making some drinks for the tables, one of the other bartenders went over to Ava and Sawyer and got them drinks, but they still waited. They kept whispering to each other and then looking at me, waiting for me to come over. I know that look in their eyes. Whatever they were talking about, I wasn’t going to like it. Either that, or they are hiding something from me. The last time they did that, they tried setting Aiden and me up on numerous dates, which I bailed each and every time.

He deserves someone better than me.

Finally, about an hour later, I went over there, much to my dismay. There was no use in avoiding them. They were two of the most stubborn girls I knew and would make sure they would stay until they got what they needed. I love them either way, but I can’t let him know about my relationships.

Not again.

“Sorry, we were busy.” I smiled, “It totally would have been a bit better if this one here didn’t quit.” I laughed as I nodded my head towards Ava.

She had a blast mixing drinks, but Art wasn’t going to have it. I don’t blame him. The night-bar life isn’t for everyone, especially someone who looks like her and has an overprotective boyfriend.

But she misses it. I can tell.

“Well, if Stuart wasn’t such a…a…a…”

“Douche,” Sawyer pointed out, “I still love that you call him Stuart when he makes you mad.”

“He hates it so much.” We all laughed, “But, yeah, douche, I would still be here on the weekends. Man, the tips were nice.” She grinned.

“Maybe we can sneak you in for a couple of shifts when it comes to ladies’ nights and when the live bands start coming around again. There are talks about doing theme nights over the summer too.”

“Oh! Can I do that too?” Sawyer asked, grinning, “That sounds like so much fun!”

“Yeah, because Finn would let you.” Ava rolled her eyes, “He’s worse than Art!”

“What he won’t know won’t hurt him.” She grinned, “But anyway, I wanted to make sure you were still coming next week.”

I furrowed my brow, a bit confused. I know they have been busy at the hockey rink with the new summer program going on. The opening day was coming up next week and the kids were supposed to sing, but Finn changed his mind at the last minute and because of that, I opted not to go. I thought they knew.

My kids were not thrilled at all. They were actually really upset.

Miles was more upset than the rest. He wanted someone to record them singing, so he could show his dad when he came home or even email him. The day that we found out it had been canceled, he came up to me once everyone left, since Sawyer was running a bit late picking him up.

We had a long heart-to-heart as he cried, and I held him in my arms. This isn’t the first time he’s done this. It’s been a consistent thing. He’s been acting out since his dad got deployed and left the day after new year’s. He’s been getting in more fights, and we found out he was purposely doing it to get hurt because he didn’t know how to channel his anger and hockey hadn’t started, so I started having him help me after school with choir.

It made all the difference.

I shook my head, thinking about what happened on New Year's Eve and the short night we spent together. I had to push that night out of my mind, but it plagues me almost every night.

It was a night where things shifted and ended all at the same time. I regret it and don’t at the same time.

“I'm not going,” I shrugged, “Finn canceled the part I was involved in, so I thought it was done. Besides, I have things I need to do.”

“It’s family night though,” Sawyer whispered, “They have some hot-shot party planner coming and doing this huge thing, and it’s supposed to be a big event. It’s Miles' first game and he wanted the family there.”

“Guys. I get it, but I’m not family.”

“Don't say that because you are. You can’t deny that.” Ava pointed at me. Warmth filled my chest at her words. It's something I've wanted for so long, something I've longed for and I have it within reach, but my fears are keeping me away, “You’ve been there for the past year when it came to all of us. You’ve been there for the kids too. We adore you and you're family, there's no denying that.”

I shook my head, “If you really think about it, I haven’t.” I gave a small side smile, “I’ve been to a couple get-togethers, but I wasn’t really involved. I’ve been there for the kids because of them being in school and I subbed for some of them.”

“Can you stop?” Sawyer sighed, “Please. Stop.” she asked again as she reached for my hand. I held hers for a bit, squeezed and let go and placed them on the counter.

“I know we haven’t spent a lot of time together, but I want to change that.” Ava reached out and grabbed my hand and gave me the softest look she had, “I know since Aiden left…”

I shook my head, “This has nothing to do with Aiden.” I smiled as I pulled my hand away, “But it’s a family thing and I have already made plans for that day.”

“You’re lying.”

I shrugged, “You don’t know that.” I winked at her and gave a little chuckle.

“Let’s put it this way.” Ava glared, “If you do not come next week to the family thing Finn is throwing, I’m going to find you and drag your gorgeous ass down to the rink to spend time with us. And also, Miles would be thrilled to have you there.”

“Luna…what happened with my brother?” Sawyer asked out of the blue. I snapped my head at her with wide eyes. Her eyes were soft, worry was written all over her face. I looked over at Ava and she also had the same look, “Things have been different since he left. I know you two had a thing for each other. I mean, hell, he came here all the time just to make sure you were okay.”

“No. It wasn’t because of that….”

“It was,” Ava whispered.

“He always sat on the same stool for hours just making sure you were good and you can’t deny it. I heard him talking to the guys one day when he was at our place and the guys were fixing up the playset they broke.” Sawyer stated, “Whatever happened, don’t let it ruin things between you and Miles. Miles looks up to you. You were the only one that was able to see deeper into his anger when Aiden left.”

“You can always talk to us.” Ava smiled, “Your secrets are safe with us.”

“I know. It’s just…” I let out a sigh as my eyes rolled up as I blinked the tears that were forming away quickly, “Aiden and I…we started to talk. Nothing serious. We spent some time together when we were all together and New year’s…”

“Yeah. I remember all of us talking. But what we said still stands, Luna. He hasn’t shown emotion to anyone outside his family since forever. With you…he’s different. His tour ends at the end of the summer, so let's see what happens.” Sawyer smiled.

I shook my head, “I love you both. But my statement still stands. We might have hooked up a bit on new year’s, but right now is not a good time for either of us, maybe not ever. I’ll be okay. I just have my own things to worry about.”

“Promise me again. Promise us again, Luna, that if you need help, you will ask us. I know you’re really secretive about your life and I totally get it. I was the same way,” Ava sighed out, “And I wish I would have said something earlier to everyone. It would have made everything so much easier.”

“True. She wouldn’t have moved into that hellhole and we could have been there from the beginning helping her and Sarah if she had said something.” Sawyer glared.

“I promise.” I whispered as I crossed my fingers behind my back.

“Now, I won’t push Aiden on you anymore if you come with us next week.” Sawyer grinned, making me roll my eyes.

I stood there for a moment and thought hard about this. I just wanted them to stop with Aiden because he doesn’t need to be involved in the crap that follows me, especially since he has Miles. I cannot and will not subject a child to that terror. It was bad enough I grew up with it. As much as I like Aiden, and I do, everything from his soft smile to his moody and stern face and everything in between, I couldn’t go there.

Reluctantly, I agreed to go to the game and with that, they squealed, downed their drinks and jumped off the stools, “Well, I’ll be by next week to get you.” Ava smiled.

“Oh no, not necessary. I’ll meet you there, promise.” And with a bit of reassurance, they finally believed me and headed out for the night and I finally felt like I could breathe, if it was only for a moment.

I don't know why, but something is telling me next week, everything is going to change.