The Jerk's Property

Chapter 14

For approximately ten minutes of standing in the middle of the boisterous, motley crowd, I have never been this suffocated.

Niyaya ako ni Asher sa isa sa mga booth na may pinakamalawak na area, kung saan mayroong stage at espasyo para sa mga audience. Nakipagsiksikan kami, pero hindi kami gaanong nakaabot sa harapan. Nasa gitnang bahagi lang kami, pero okay na rin.

Tinanong ko siya kanina kung ano ang gagawin namin dito. Sabi niya, this booth is for various entertainments. Puwede kang mag-request ng kanta, because there are bands in front, pwedeng magpa-shout out, mag-confess or something, magbigay ng message, at marami pang iba.

And we are here because his friends are planning to set up Xandra and Aro. Papupuntahin sila sa harap at hindi namin alam kung ano ang gagawin nila para mapaamin nila ang dalawa. They seem to like each other daw, pero dahil magbabarkada sila ay may barrier sa pagitan.

Asher is aware, pero hindi siya nakisali sa trip ng mga kaibigan. Manonood na lang daw siya at heto nga't niyaya pa ako.

And yes, this place where we are is ultimately suffocating! Hindi naman ganoon kainit, hindi naman ako naiipit. Naiirita lang ako dahil kanina ko pa napapansin ang mga kababaihan sa paligid na sinusubukang kunin ang atensiyon ni Asher.

They are calling his name. They are taking pictures kung saan halatang nakukuha siya, some are even taking a picture of him directly without consent! That's not proper at all. And what's more frustrating is that Asher is oblivious of what these strangers are doing.

Naiirita ako. Hindi ba nila nakikitang may kasama siya? Am I invisible to them? Or they just chose to ignore me since I do not look like a threat? O baka naman sadyang wala silang hiya?

Lips pursed, eyebrows furrowed, and eyes trying to blink away the annoyance—I'm in that state when Asher lowered his gaze to look at me.

"Ey, what's the matter?" Jesus Christ, he really is oblivious! "Gusto mo bang umalis na tayo?"

Bilang na lang ang mga lalaking considerate, at hindi naman mabilang ang mga babaeng spoiled sa kanila. I don't want to take advantage of his kindness.

Umiling ako. "Hindi, hintayin natin yung ganap sa mga barkada mo." We came all the way here for that, masyado naman akong ma-attitude na tao kung hihilain ko rin siya paalis dahil lang alam kong papayag siya.

"Isang oras na lang before twelve. Gustom ka na ba?"

I shook my head. Ikinalat ko ang tingin sa paligid at napansin ang tingin ng ilan sa akin. Gusto ko silang tarayan isa-isa!

My lips are slightly pouted as I looked at Asher. Nakatingin din pala siya sakin, hindi mabasa ang mga mata niyang walang ekspresyon—halos palagi naman—na mistulang may sinusuri sa mukha ko.

"Gusto ka yatang kausapin ng mga babae sa paligid natin. Pagbigyan mo nga." I planned to say it as a joke, but it came out so bitter. Para tuloy akong jowang nagseselos. Luh, ang assumera. Por que mahal ka?

"Uh, I'm not a good conversationalist," seryosong tugon niya, may kung anong kinukuha sa backpack niyang dala.

So, napapansin niya rin pala, he just chose to ignore them. Akala ko pa naman ganoon na siya kamanhid.

Well, somehow, I have been feeling this pride and an uncontrollable bliss as if I am too full of myself, thinking that the man they can just have in their dreams is just within my reach. Hindi nga lang kami soul mates. And, oh! He just told me that he loves me!

Kating-kati na akong isigaw sa mga pagmumukha nila iyon, malas. I also admired Benjie before, but not to the extent that I'm okay to lose my dignity. Duh.

Natigil ako sa pagiging silent palaban nang makita ang inilalahad ni Asher sa akin. It's a burger!

"Here, kainin mo muna para 'di ka gutumin."

Pasimple akong nag-side eye sa mga babae at nakangiting kinuha ang burger sa kamay niya. Saktong nasimulan ko na ang pagkain nang narinig namin ang pagtawag ng mga moderator ng booth kina Xandra at Aro sa harapan.

May mga nagtilihan nang umakyat sa stage ang clueless na si Aro habang nakasunod sa kanya ang kaibigan. Poor girls, the famous Aro is just about to confess to his crush.

Focused lang kami sa panonood, paminsan-minsa'y napapatakip ako ng mukha kapag nakakaramdam ng hiya sa mga tanong na ibinabato nila sa kanila.

The questions are well-prepared. They weren't asked directly if they like each other, but the questions are meant to uncover the things they want to say to each other but has no courage to do so.

Baliw na kung may isa pa rito sa amin ang hindi makapansin na may something sa dalawang iyan.

They are asked how much they know each other, what beautiful thing they know from each other, napagtanungan din sila kung alam ba nila ang paborito ng isa't isa when it comes to color, food, cartoon character, etcetera—mga details na hindi alam ng iba kahit sa barkada, at maaaring malaman lamang kapag interesado sila sa isa't isa.

"This is embarrassing, but I'm proud of the two." Narinig ko ang baritonong boses ni Asher. "Hinintay pa talagang mapahiya sila nang ganito. Tsk tsk tsk."

Nginuya ko ang huling kagat ng burger sa bibig ko. I'm happy for them too, but something is bothering me.

"Mag-soul mate ba sila?"

Asher diverted his eyes to me, unable to speak. I saw his Adam's apple moved before heaving a sigh.

"They like each other. That's what that matters."

Tuluyan na nga'ng lumalim ang pagkakunot ng noo ko. "Pero what's the use? Kung sa huli, hindi naman sila? Besides, aren't their soul mates the most important?"

"Xandra is trying to suppress her smile," Asher chuckled as his eyes are directed on the stage. "Of course, soul mates are important. But even just once in your life, don't you want to do what you like?" Dumapo muli sa akin ang mga mata niya, may kung anong kinang doon na hindi ko alam ang kahulugan. "Felicity, it's true, I have a soul mate. But is it too wrong to choose my happiness?"

I had fallen speechless. Hindi ko tinanggal ang mga mata ko sa kanya habang dahan-dahang nilulunok ang laman ng bibig ko.

"Your soul mate is supposed to be your happiness, not me," I murmured under my breath.

"Kung ganoon," kumibot ang labi niya, "hindi ka masaya sa akin?"

I hate the way his statement sounded. It's too bitter.

"Walang problema sa akin, Asher. Patay na ang soul mate ko, di ba?" He wasn't able to hide his shocked expression. "Oo, sinabi ni Benjie sa akin. Matagal nang patay ang kapatid mo."

Horror suddenly flashed in his expression. Gusto kong isipin na dahil lang iyan sa gulat na alam ko na ang totoo, but all I can see is a face mirroring a once tragic memory.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to . . . " Umangat ang kamay ko para sana hawakan siya sa braso, pero hindi ko itinuloy.

He looked away, eyes are closed as if he's trying to take something away from him.

"He was with me, and my soul mate, Krisha." He looked at me with an evident sorrow and fear in his irises. "I saw it with my eyes wide open. I saw how he died. W-when a speeding car bumped him. His . . . his blood . . . the blood—"

"Sshhh," I hushed, caressing his arm. "Sorry, hindi ko dapat 'yun pinaalala. Sorry."

The usual cold and aloof expression in Asher's eyes are even better than seeing how he struggles from a fear and pain that are trying to escape from his facade.

Finally, I heard him sigh. That is so far the first reaction he did before the long silence between us.

"Let's forget about it." Hinarap niya ako at ramdam ko ang effort niya na pagaanin ang atmospera gamit ang isang pilit na ngiti. "Pag-usapan natin iyan sa susunod, ha? Ah, huwag muna ngayon." He totally looks uneasy. "May pupuntahan muna ako. Gusto mong sumama?"

I was about to answer when my peripheral view noticed that someone is waving a hand. Nang tingnan ko ito't rumehistro ang mukha ni Kimmy at Rad, sumenyas ito na lalapit siya sa kinaroroonan ko.

Mukhang nagkabati na nga sila, at automatic na bati na rin kami. Nice.

"Just go. Babalik ka naman, di ba?"

"Oo naman."

Nginitian ko si Asher sabay turo sa kaibigan kong nakikipagsiksikan na. "May kasama naman ako rito."

"Sure, I won't take long."

Pinanood ko siyang umalis at kung paano sumunod sa kanya ang mga mata ng mangilan-ilang nadadaanan niya. Naiiling na lang akong bumaling kay Kimmy.

Tiningnan niya ang daan kung saan naglakad paalis si Asher. "Ano ang chika, dzai?" Umangat-baba ang kanyang kilay. "Ilang inches ng kutsilyo ang need?"

I looked at her weirdly. "Gaga, mukha ba kaming hindi okay?" Needless to say, we're really not okay. But it's not to the point that Kimmy already need to send him to his grave.

Hindi ko na alam kung sino ang sumunod sa stage. Hindi ako masyadong familiar sa uniform, pero apat silang mga babae at may tig-isang hawak na microphone.

They began singing rock songs. It's too energetic that the audience started headbanging. Napapaindak naman ako kaunti, pero paminsan-minsa'y napapalinga sa paligid para tingnan kung pabalik na ba si Asher.

After the lively show, the stage turned quiet, seemingly processing the next event.

"For the next show, oh, singing din. It's a duet."

The acting emcee rummaged the box she's holding. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang ginagawa, pero mayamaya ay luminga-linga ito sa paligid.

"Krisha Vergas and Asher Sullivan!"

Huh?

I cluelessly looked around. People are clapping, and so do I. Pero sa hindi malamang dahilan, humina ang palakpak ko.

Did I . . hear something wrong?

Salubong ang kilay ni Kimmy na tumingin sa akin. "Krisha at Asher daw, mag-du-duet. Sino si Krisha? Alam mo ba 'to?"

My throat went dry as I felt a familiar pang in my chest.

Iyan ba ang sinabi niyang pupuntahan niya? Paano kung sumama ako, ano na ang hitsura ko ngayon? Did he really want me to look pathetic?

And why is that I am feeling so bitter with just a duet? Kakanta lang naman sila. At . . . at . . . mag-soul mate sila, ano ba? Kung kasalan sana ang usapan, siya ang legal.

Nakita kong umakyat sa stage ang babaeng ikatlong beses ko nang nakita. Una ko siyang nakita na kasama ni Asher sa isang i********: post niya, pero nakita ko lang siya sa personal nang magkasama sila ni Asher na pumasok sa restaurant na pinanggalingan namin ni Benjie.

She looks like a half Indian and a half Filipino. Kayumanggi ang kutis, hanggang baywang ang hazelnut niyang buhok, makapal ang kilay at matangos ang ilong.

She has beautiful features. She's not that someone that will grab everyone's attention, pero maganda siya, maamo ang mukha, mabait at palakaibigan ang ngiti.

Her vibe is the complete opposite of Asher. Asher's presence is dark and distant. I've never heard him laugh too real.

I never thought about that particular phrase too much. For the first time, I hated it—the phrase 'opposite attracts'.

Nakita ko si Asher sa hagdanan paakyat sa stage na tulak-tulak ng mga barkada niya. The moment he and his group of friends became visible in people's eyes, the students started screaming, shouting their names. But as soon as he reaches the stage, Krisha energetically ran into him, held his arms as she slowly pulled him through the center, and the crowd went silent—except my heart that is starting to shatter.

"Hello there, Krisha and Asher." The emcee approached them. "Mind if you tell us your relationship with each other?"

"Oh, we're soul mates!"

Nahigit ko ang hininga ko habang ang madla nama'y nagsimula nang mag-ingay at magbulungan. Ang mga nasa paligid namin na kanina ay pinagmamasdan kami ni Asher ay napapatingin na ngayon sa akin, may kung anong pangungutya sa mga mata nila.

"Isang feeling iyang nasa likod. Feeling jowa kanina."

"Akala ko iyang babaeng naka-pink diyan ang soul mate."

"Marinig ka, baliw."

"So? Assumerang palaka naman iyan."

Nakita kong nandilim ang mukha ni Kimmy at pabaling-baling na tiningnan ang mga kababaihan sa paligid. She was about to say something when I squeezed her palm, shaking my head.

"Hayaan mo na sila."

I tried to act calm, I forced myself to look fine, but damn, why is it so hard? God knows how I badly want to scream my heart out that these people, every person in Geneva, would hear and understand that I'm hurting.

"Ang sweet naman! Perhaps you are both good in singing?"

Tumango-tango si Krisha habang si Asher naman ay prenteng nakatayo sa tabi niya, seryoso gaya ng nakasanayan kong makita, at nakatingin sa mikroponong hawak niya.

"I am not that good in singing, pero itong si Asher, talented ito. Singing is just a piece of cake for him," proud na tugon ni Krisha sa sinabi ng emcee.

Asher and I were together for how many times already, yet I still didn't know that he's capable of singing. Now that I think about it, there's a lot of things that I don't know about him.

Ang alam ko lang, gusto ko siya. Pero hindi ko siya kilala.

Krisha pulled Asher closer to her as she took his right arm on her shoulder. Nakaakbay na ngayon si Asher sa kanya.

Yumuko ako agad, nagngingitngit. Ilang beses pa ba akong masasaktan dahil sa kanya?

"Umalis na tayo rito," dinig kong sabi ni Kimmy.

Umiling ako habang nakayuko pa rin. Tears are already forming around my eyes. "He told me he will return, and so I'll wait."

"Seryoso, Fe?!" Kimmy angrily held my arm. "Tanga ka na ba?! Ay mali. Tanga ka na. Sobrang tanga."

Umiling-iling lang ako habang ang mga luha ay nag-uunahan nang tumulo. "Maghihintay ako. Maghihintay ako."

Narinig ko pa si Kimmy na nagmura, pero hindi ko iyon pinansin.

Is it true, that you are the most stupid when you fall in love?"

"Okay. So, may naka-ready na tayong music? Okay na?" The emcee clapped her hands. "Ladies and Gentlemen, a loud of applause, please!"

The crowd went boisterous, again, but my world filled with silence. As my vision rooted on the ground, I heard his manly voice, and it sounded either cold or annoyed.

"I'm afraid I can't do it."

Napaangat ako ng tingin sa entablado. Hindi na nakaakbay si Asher kay Krisha, at hindi rin sila magkahawak-kamay o anuman. Actually, he is near the emcee, scratching his head.

"Just move to the next presentations, I'm not doing this." He looked at the audience, particularly at the same place where he left me. "My girl is waiting."

He handed the microphone to the emcee as he whispered something to Krisha. Akmang pipigilan pa siya nito pero dali-dali siyang naglakad sa gitna ng stage at tumalon doon.

Nahawi ang mga tao nang naglakad siya sa pagitan na animo'y walang ibang tao kung hindi siya . . . at ako.

Syet, ang puso kong hangal!

I wasn't able to move as my internal organs are crushing in chaos. Pakiramdam ko, tumahimik ang buong universe habang binabagtas niya ang kahabaan ng daan patungo sa akin, hindi alintana ang atensiyong nakuha mula sa lahat ng estudyanteng narito.

Hindi ko namalayang nasa harapan ko na pala siya at normal lang na ngumiti.

"You like this, do you not? Sorry, natagalan. Ang haba kasi n'ong pila."

Inilagay niya sa kamay ko ang hawak niyang ngayon ko lang napansin.

Why . . . why is he doing this to me? Why is he making me fall in love even more?

"Tawagin mo na ang kaibigan mo. Umalis na tayo rito," aniya, nakahawak sa aking siko ang isa niyang palad habang ang isa nama'y nasa bulsa.

Nag-uumapaw ang emosyon ko, at sa dami ng gusto kong sabihin at tanungin, isa lang ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

"You . . . " I sniffed. "How do you know that I like graham shake?"