Get the Guy Box Set

A-dork-able-4

When I got home that night, I heard grunts and groans coming from the laptop in Anderson’s room, which meant he was whacking off to gay porn again. He did this so often it had become like white noise in the apartment. I’d offer to take him to a gay bar so he could experience the real thing, but my own forays weren’t that noteworthy and I’d only end up embarrassing both of us.

I heated up leftover spaghetti and meat sauce while I showered and dressed in a threadbare white T-shirt and red Star Trek boxer shorts. Yes, I have a thing for Star Wars and Star Trek, okay? I piled the food on a plate and sat on the old couch in front of the TV, ready to catch up on my shows.

Halfway through Gotham, Anderson finally stumbled into the living room and collapsed on the loveseat. “I didn’t hear you come in,” he said on a sigh as he ran his fingers through sweaty hair.

“I’m not surprised,” I replied before turning back to the TV.

“How’d it go with lunch today?” Oh, great, he’s chatty.

“It was fine until some woman bumped into me and I ended up on the floor after slipping on her sandwich, and her drink ruined my shirt and jacket. I really impressed Jaiden, let me tell you.”

“Geez, Al. It’s like you have a cloud over you or something.”

“Probably,” I grumbled. I stared at the TV for a few minutes before asking, “Do you think I need to change the way I dress? Someone said something to me today and I’m not sure how to take it.”

Anderson’s eyes lit up with glee. “Oh, thank God! Yes, you need to stop dressing like your grandfather. I know you like to save money, my friend, but shopping for blazers and pants at the secondhand store isn’t always the best way to go when you’re trying to make an impression.”

“What difference would a fitted suit make? I’d still be the same boring klutz, like always.” It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford nicer clothing. I simply never thought about it. But now that Jaiden was sort of in the picture…

“But you’d be a klutz in a suit, and that would make a big difference, let me tell you.” He stood and went to the kitchen. “Let me take you shopping on Saturday, alright? We’ll get you a new wardrobe that will make those assholes you work with think twice about making fun of you.”

“You don’t really have to do that. I can do this by myself.” And probably get laughed out of the store by the sales people.

“Yes, I do. I’m so happy you’re finally taking a step into the twenty-first century, at least clothing-wise.”

Anderson was a clothes horse, believe it or not. He’d been bugging me for years to do something about my wardrobe. What could I say? I grew up with my granddad, God rest his soul, and I emulated the way he’d dressed. He’d been a cool guy, though stern, but he’d taken me in when there’d been no one else.

“Fine, I’ll go. But don’t get too excited, okay? I might veto everything.”

“And I won’t let you,” he retorted.

He returned to the living room with a beer and a sandwich, and we spent the next couple of hours watching shows until it was time for him to meet his date. He showered and dressed, then grabbed his keys and motorcycle helmet before heading for the door.

“It’s ten o’clock at night!” I exclaimed as I watched him leave.

“That’s when things start hopping, baby. Later.” He blew me a kiss and shut the door behind him.

I shook my head as I gathered all the dirty dishes and bottles and carried them to the kitchen.

That was the difference between Anderson and me. He loved to party all night long, despite having to work the next morning. I preferred to be in bed by ten o’clock for a good night’s sleep. No wonder people thought I was boring.

As I got ready for bed a few minutes later, I wondered whether a new wardrobe would make Jaiden see me as more than just the awkward, frumpy man he was working with. All our conversations had been about the project, except for that little insight into his feelings about being seen as himself and not just for his clothing or money.

It couldn’t hurt to try, right? What did I have to lose? Aside from the rest of my pride…