His Unrequited Love

Royally F*ucked

Ian

It’s been almost a week since I spent the night with Victor Valentine in that small hotel room.

By Wednesday I am not even mad that he left me there without saying a word. It’s not like there is anything to be mad about - he simply went on his merry way wherever the f*uck that is after giving me one of the best nights of my life. It wasn’t only the s*ex, no it wasn’t, even though the memory of it still makes my toes curl and my d*ick starts standing with attention every time I think about how good he handled me. Before that night I didn’t even know I was into s*hit like that. Or maybe I am but only with him.

By Thursday I barely think of him. From every waking minute, my mind is back to him every other minute, which I choose to count as progress. The way things are going I believe I will be back to my usual self by the end of the week.

But that damn week is dragging like never before in my life. Between the daily practice in my shop where I take my clients for ‘seances’ and the work on my bar’s renovation I barely have time for myself. I am tired and cranky and there is some restlessness floating near the pit of my stomach that makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.

That’s why on Thursday afternoon I close shop earlier and head to the organic market outside of town to distract myself by hunting some exotic herbs from my witchy practice. Most of what I need I grow in the garden behind my house but some of it just doesn’t want to catch there so I have to purchase.

It’s less than an hour's walk there and I really appreciate the quiet time alone. I take the shortcut through the woods and am more than thankful for the warm weather and the light breeze, playing with my hair. It’s just me and the woods and I am grateful for the quiet. I am a social butterfly most of the time but here I get to experience something different, a connection to nature and my roots that are just mine and I don’t want to share it with anyone. It’s like last night's dreams filled with darkness and the one-sided crushes over a guy I am not supposed to have will never bring me down at a place like this. It elevates me and helps me clear my head better than anything else.

The bad thing? Those damn woods smell like pinecones and earth after rain. The deeper I go down the path where the trees are taller and closer to each other, barely letting any light through to the ground, the denser the scent of the wood gets. My mind is flooded with vague images of large tanned hands on my bare skin, or deep blue eyes holding mine as I look up at a firm body while big fat c*ock slips in and out of my mouth. I can almost feel the soreness in my throat the morning after. I can almost hear his grunts in my ear with every thrust he made deep inside me as he got deeper than anyone before him. I can feel his hands squeezing my neck almost painfully and how blissfully dizzy it made me feel.

And s*hit, I am hard again as if it wasn’t enough I had to take myself in hand and deal with my unwanted erection three times today already - twice as I was getting ready this morning, and once at the bar when the guys were installing the dark neon lights up behind the liquor shelves. My d*ick got so hard by thinking how similar this light is to the one in Victor’s hotel room the first time I saw it when he flipped the switch on and then pressed me against the door and kissed me so damn hot and desperately… I had to make some lame a*ss excuses and run to the bathroom to take care of business.

The problem is none of these quick handjobs I am forced to give myself compare to the real deal and it only makes me even more frustrated with Victor and with myself. I walk a few more minutes, freely sprouting an erection while I am alone in the woods like I’m some kind of a creep and it is far from convenient. Physically or emotionally.

I blame Mr. Valentine for the miserable state I am in because I am selfish like this - it is me who is at fault for starting that little game with him knowing perfectly fine how bad he got me back in the day and that I should be careful not to let him under my skin again. I am perfectly aware of how emotionally unavailable the guy has always been and how unreachable he is and still, I went for it as if my life depended on it.

Maybe I deserve to be punished for not following my cardinal rule - never do unrequited again. And it was not requited that attraction I felt for him last night, or the soft fuzzy feeling that overwhelmed me when he spooned me by instinct for the entire night after he f*ucked me senseless and then finished all over me, making a mess of both of us. It was purely physical for him, transactional, and I don’t need any further proof than him leaving me alone come morning. Not even a word. Not a note, saying… I don’t know. ‘Thank you’ maybe? B*astard.

Making sure I am completely alone, I hide behind one of the larger trees and push my hand in my pants, finding my boner. My heart rate speeds up as I glide my fist up and down, coating the tip with my palm like Victor did, in order to finish as quickly as possible.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

The words are on repeat in my mind as my head is cleared from anything else but imaging him doing it, not me. I picture his flushed face and his glazed blue eyes and the need to feel him buried inside me is too strong.

I come with a cry again, counting the score with annoyance as I clean the mess I did in my palm with a wet wipe. Which I have to keep with me until I find a waste basket to throw it in and someplace to wash up. Damn it and then some more.

By the time I finally reach the market an hour after I started heading there when it usually takes me less than forty minutes, I am cranky and sweaty and I really don’t know why I bothered coming here in the first place. I put my trash in the nearest bin and use some public bathroom to wash up before I go on my merry way amongst the stalls.

The cheerfulness of the people and the colors all around me only annoy me further. Sellers are shouting to promote their stuff, customers are actually bargaining with them and the air smells of rain and products of any kind. I hang around for a bit, getting some fresh sun-kissed zucchini which I plan to cook for dinner tonight. Maybe I’ll bring it to Veronica’s place as I have some business to talk with Luca about the bar, which will be on the border with his werewolf pack’s territory. I get some herbs too that will be hung to dry in the attic where I feel the witchy power of my ancestors is more potent than in any place in my old house.

By the time I reach the last stall on the market, the sun is rolling behind the hill, painting everything in deep orange hues and shadows. That’s like my favourite time in the day - in some places of the world they call it the time between dog and wolf, the moment the day starts switching into the night and dusks start to fall over the land, the moment of shift between realms as it is referred to in my family’s useless grimoire.

Just as I am about to stop and look at the horizon breathing the scents of the fading day in, I feel someone’s intense gaze over me. It makes the hair on my neck stand with caution and I stop in my tracks, heart beating like crazy. It’s so intense in fact, I struggle to take my next breath as I turn to see who it might be. Everything feels like it is happening in slow motion. The people around me seem almost frozen in time, that’s how slow they are moving in my vision. The wind is not howling in the trees and the clouds it is chasing in the sky seem to have frozen too.

I see her then. The woman watching me like she is beckoning me with her eyes. The pulse speeds up in my veins. I’ve never met her in my life but I know her from somewhere. The darker shade of her skin and her bright eyes, together with her shining dark curls and the scarf half-covering her head remind me of the Romani people who live on the outskirts of town. Is she one of them? Was she one of them?

Making a step closer to her, the feeling that she is not real doesn’t want to leave me. It’s just as strong as the sorrow in her bright eyes, the brightest I have ever seen. Why do I know her? Why does she, or her ghost, act as if she knows me too?

“Who are you?” I hear myself asking but her features only gather into a scowl of irritation.

“There is no time for pleasantries,” she replies with her thick accent which sounds like nothing I’ve heard before. Luca is half Romani but neither he nor the rest of his family speaks like this. “I have come to give you a warning. You and your magic are in grave danger. Be aware of the serpent king. Stay away from the lone wolf.”

I blink in confusion. What the hell is that even supposed to mean? The moment I am about to ask her exactly this is the same one the sun finally falls down the hill and dusk engulfs everything around me. And she is gone. Time starts to move on as if nothing happened - people light up gas lamps and string lights and the constant buzz of life surrounds me once more. I am finally able to take a breath, but it does not feel rewarding. Not at all. Dread is gripping my entire being as I repeat the stranger’s words again and again in my head.

Her voice continues to nag at me, those dooming words rolling in my mind even though she is long gone. I might not be a powerful witch but I am one nonetheless. I know what that woman was and what she wasn’t. A phantom, a creature who can only appear in the world of the living at the time of change and who can only stay until the transition is over. For her to be here must’ve taken a tremendous amount of power which means it is more important than I am willing to give it credit.

As shaken as I am, I decide to go straight to Veronica’s house, the Valentine mansion. It is built on this big amount of land right next to my worn down generational house and it looks like a real castle with the small towers, the back wings, and the large garden with fountains and gazeboes that surrounds it. In order to get inside you have to pass security and s*hit. It’s the reason Luca used to mock Veronica calling her a princess for such a long time even before they found out they were true mates and started dating. And he did so almost until she got to be an actual queen - my best friend and soul sister who defied the world and found her own happiness at the end of the fairy tale. Sometimes I envy her, and sometimes I draw the greatest inspiration from her, but generally, I am glad she got to live in the happy ever after.

As I reach the property, her beta for the Lycan pack, Adrien, welcomes me as we get inside their pack-house together, engaging in some small talk about the weather and my bar. I am not really interested in what he has to say as I am too distracted by my earlier encounter. As we walk down the alley, I am grateful that at it least it managed to stop my d*ick from getting hard out of the blue for a fifth time today, so that’s a win.

Adrien tells me Luca should be with the kid in the living room and I head towards it after I leave my bag of groceries on the large kitchen counter, musing at how much this place has changed over the years. From the cold museum it used to be back when Genevieve Valentine managed it as acting Luna of the pack because the current alpha, Victor, was still unwed and hadn’t found his mate yet, it has turned into a home with a heart and a soul. I am almost sad he won’t be able to ever see it like this. Would he even like it? As gruff as he looked on Sunday, he has always been a polished gentleman whose entire demeanor screams of old money, order, and propriety. The typical Virgo with money. What would he say if he saw how well the new lighter, warmer tones on the walls fit with the modern couches and the family photos hung everywhere around? What he’d say if he knew his study is now Veronica’s but it is filled with soft furniture and colorful pillows and s*hit?

Walking past the study, I feel almost regretful that Victor is never going to come back to this, and it is then I hear his sister scolding someone over the phone about still working at this ungodly hour. Curious I open the door wider and as I ask her who’s still working, I make the grave mistake of peaking through her shoulder.

Fuck.

F*uck on a stick.

That’s Victor frowning at her through the screen. Did he see me? He doesn’t sound like he did. He sounds irritated at her nagging at him and lies to her he is about to close for the day or something. I steal another peak, careful not to flash my face in front of the camera, and selfishly take in his handsome features. He seems tired, his eyes are drooping and red-rimmed, and his face looks pale like he hasn’t slept for a while. Why is he not sleeping well?

Angry at myself for even caring, I turn my back on him and murmur something about going to look for Luca. Damn it, why the f*uck do I care about the sleep patterns of a stranger all of a sudden? Just because we f*ucked like animals last Sunday night, it doesn’t give me the right to stick my nose up his business. It doesn’t belong there, it never has.

Hurrying towards the living room, I let out a sigh of relief as I put a literal wall between me and Victor. Even though he is not physically here. Even though he doesn’t know who I am. Who do I look like to you? … Maxim. You look like a Maxim.

“Hey, man,” Luca greets me distractedly as he is walking up and down the room, swinging little Ariana slightly in his arms to calm her baby tantrum down.

The moment my eyes land on my favorite girl in the world my heart calms down immediately and a warm feeling spreads all over me. One look at sweet Ariana and her baby blue eyes and I am ready to melt and forget all my sorrows and aches.

“Hey,” I greet as I walk towards them to give a kiss on her cute plump cheeks.

“You look like s*hit,” her father notices with his gritting voice.

“Yeah, nice to see you too… ” I lean towards them and covering the baby’s ears, I add, “f*ucker.”

Luca’s lips stretch into a genuine friendly smile and for a second the handsome guy he used to comes back to life. It’s his eyes, it always has been. His face might not be as it used to be in high school, not even close. It is all lined up with the scars he got during the war when a werewolf practically tore him to shreds, but the moment he smiles his entire being lights up from the inside. Plus, all those scars are actually hot in their own way, giving him this warrior look I am sure Veronica is digging up quite well.

“What ran over you?” Luca adds now and searches my face for answers I am not quite willing to give him yet. I trust him as much as I trust Veronica, which is indefinitely but he is too weak for her, and if I told him I had a one-night stand with his brother-in-law she’ll definitely find out about it. And I don’t want her to know and start worrying for either of us without a reason. So, I shrug and escape his gaze by focusing back on Ariana, who seems mesmerized by the colorful crystals of my neckless. She is cooing over them, showing them to her dad with her little baby fingers.

“It’s all cool,” I say as I take the neckless off and give it to the kid to play. She can’t hold it, of course, so I do it for her and let her touch and explore, loving how concentrated she is all of a sudden.

“Man, I swear she is in love with you,” Luca sighs in amusement. “Every time you show up she immediately calms down and starts staring at you…”

“Nah,” I smile, “She just likes my shiny things.”

“Not sure about that. The only other person I’ve seen her like this around is Victor though,” Luca continues his musings and it sounds innocent enough. He is not in on my tail and I am not sure if he even knows about my past crush on Victor. But that name immediately brings me back on edge. “So, who peed at your table?” Luca asks now lifting his eyes to me.

“Well… I met someone today… something. A phantom… I think,” I admit feeling stupid for even letting my mouth speak the absurd words.

Luca scowls at me. “A phantom?” If we were normal people he’d be all over my case mocking or something. But because of who we are - an ex-witch and a true wolf shifter turned into one by bite, what I said means something serious, even if stupid or impossible.

“Yeah, a phantom. She looked Romani, like you, with dark curly hair covered with a veil, pale green eyes… But she… I don’t know, there was something not quite right about her. She said I should keep my distance from the lone wolf or some s*hit.”

Luca seems in deep thought for a moment. Then he lifts his head back at me after he moves Ariana from one hand to the other. When our eyes meet, he looks a bit crazed, excited even.

“Roxanne,” he says like I am supposed to know who Roxanne is. “The ghost witch I told you about. The one I saw in limbo I guess. She looked exactly as you say.”

I blink in confusion. Then I remember that there was a witch, one of my ancestors, the one who put a curse on our bloodline and caused every other St. Claire before me to be powerless. Luca had seen her when he was on the verge of death. It kind of makes sense that a creature like her would emerge to the world of the living only at the moment dusk starts to fall. And then it hits me. Stay away from the lone wolf… she’d said. Did an apparition from the world of the dead come to warn me to keep my distance from Victor Valentine?