Have You Wonder

Favor

Months have passed like I was just flipping the pages of my favorite book. I never get tired of unfolding them each day. There's always something to look forward and Luke never failed to make each day something to look up to. He always makes me want to go to work early and keeps me looking for my phone. He became the reason why I always jumped out of my bed when my phone vibrates. He became the reason why the first thing I do, as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, is to check my phone. He became the reason why I always smile.

I never feel so alive until I met Luke.

I always complain to go to work as I get trapped in traffic every Monday but now, I enjoyed it. Because I have more time being with him.

Now, we even go to work together without any hesitation. It's not like we're in any type of romantic relationship so I won't give any drop of attention to the eyes staring and wondering about us. What's important is we enjoy each other's company.

I know it's weird but I just can't jump into any kind of relationship, not yet. Luke is too good to be treated that way. Haste makes waste, they say.

Each day passed by just like that. My day begins and ends seeing him, being with him. We get closer more than I could imagine to the point that a day without him feels empty. I'm not sure what's the point of dragging this longer but I wanna make sure that I am sure of my feelings.

Until I received this call from Victoria today asking if we could meet somewhere near where I'm working as soon as possible.

I never heard her asking for a favor this seriously and urgently. I feel something's off so I agreed immediately, thinking it requires immediate attention.

We decided to meet at the nearby cafe on my lunch break since she said it won't take long. It's just something that needs to be discussed personally so I set it as soon as possible.

While I was approaching her table, I saw she's with David. Well, I'm not surprised that they glued right next to each other but what surprises me is there's a woman in her late thirty's, joining their table. I looked around and saw there's still a lot of seats so most probably, she's not just joining them for no reason.

Victoria raised her hand in the air as soon as she noticed me. I wonder who's that gorgeous lady joining us today and what makes it urgent.

"Hey~" I greeted the two and I look at the lady as if asking permission if I could take the seat. She gestured her hands and smiled at me.

That eye smile looks familiar somehow.

"Hi. Anything you wanna order?" David asked and I requested Caramel Macchiato Frappe.

The lady sitting next to me smiled as soon as she heard my order. She didn't look at us and she was just circling her finger onto the lid of her cup. I wonder what's funny about that.

I looked at Victoria as if asking her what brought us all here in the middle of the day but she was just quite reluctant as if she couldn't find the right words to say. Then David came back with my order but I kept looking at the couple, demanding to spill the tea.

David begins clearing his throat as if he's finding the right timing to say to me what's going on.

"Enzey, she's Kree's sister. She asked me a favor to make way so she could talk to you." David hesitantly introduced.

This is so awkward. I haven't met anyone in his family when we were dating so what's with the sudden meet and greet with her sister.

I awkwardly looked at her and our eyes meet. I smiled at her forcibly though I tried hard enough to make it as natural as possible.

"We will just wait outside and let you two talk," Victoria said and I just stared at her as I was dumbfounded by what she said.

The couple walked hurriedly and left me just like that. Now, I have no choice but to stay here... with Kree's elder sister.

I transferred to the seat across from her so we could talk face to face. Then she exhaled a deep breath as she was preparing herself to speak up.

"Let me start by introducing myself properly. My name is Karina, elder sister of Kree." She extended her hand and I took it in response.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Enzey," I replied.

"Is it?" She blurted and I was literally frozen at her remarks.

What else does she expect me to say?! Of course it would be better if we met back then but I guess, time is not in our favor back then.

"Just kidding." She smiled. I breathe out as I felt suffocated at her comment.

"To be honest, I am nervous more than you do. Believe me. I...I just...Uhm..." She starts hesitating to speak up about what's on her mind as if she's looking at the right words to say.

"I'm here, because of... Kree." She added.

I expected this from the start because there's no other reason for us to meet this way unless it's about him.

"What about...Kree?" I queried. I wanna keep calm but my heart gradually beats so fast and gets louder.

"He filed all the leaves he earned so we thought he was planning to go somewhere. But when I visit him last night, he was just staying in his house. Didn't do anything nor eat or sleep properly." She furrowed as she picture his brother living that way.

"I'm sorry to hear that. But I don't have enough time right now. I..." I made some excuses because I know where this conversation will lead to.

"Please..." She exclaimed and that made me stop. I can't take this. It burdens me as if I'm the only solution to this.

"I know what you've been through. And I know, words would never be enough to console the pain he has caused you but believe me, it pains him more than you do." She commented.

How can she be sure? She doesn't even know what happened?

"I may know very little about you two but I know what you have is real." She implied.

"I don't know what Kree has told you but still, that won't change my mind. I feel sorry if he has to go through this because believe me, there's no one else who could understand him but me. He is lucky to have a very caring sister who would step up to seek some help. But when I was in his shoes no one dared to pull me back. I had no one but myself." It pains me acting this cold but I have to protect myself from shattering.

Karina looked down and I can hear her sobs. I can't help but feel bitter about this conversation. I was never this cold to anyone who seeks my help but I have to save myself and keep the walls I built or else, I'll break down.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled and left.

========

"Hey. Are you okay?" Luke queried while we are walking towards the parking lot.

"H-ha? Y-yeah, I'm good." I stammered.

"Stammering like that can't fool me. Look at me." He insisted but I keep my head down while walking.

"Hey~ What's the problem?" He asked once again as we rode in the car.

"Somebody asked me a favor but I declined to help. Because helping her might require more than she thinks it could." I vaguely explained.

"I think you should help her despite doing more. Because if you won't, it will just bug you down like the way you do since you came back." I looked at him, confused. How did he know?

"I called a while ago but Mei said you were out of your wits so I just drop the call." He explained.

"What if helping her won't help me at all? What if helping her means at the expense of myself?" I seek his advice.

"That doesn't matter." He blurted.

"What do you mean?"

"Because you are the type of person who would do whatever it takes to help or else, you'll end up beating yourself for not doing so. Just like you are right now." He added.

I was flabbergasted at his inputs. How could he know me more than I do? He's right. I will just think about him over and over again. And I couldn't stand to see someone being messed up because of me.

But what if coming to him means ruining my peace and my current happiness? Is it worth trying for?

I looked at Luke once more and he glanced back at me while driving. He smiled sweetly as if reassuring me that there's nothing to be afraid of. That he will always be by my side, no matter what. That there's nothing to be scared of because he will wait for me whenever I am ready to take his hand.

"You are right. I'll keep beating myself for not doing anything." I smiled back at him.

It's Friday. I decided to take an urgent leave for today and went somewhere I never thought I would come back to. I pressed the button on which floor he is living on. I took a deep breath as I slowly approaches the right floor. I asked David which unit is he exactly staying in because I couldn't think about it when I left him hurriedly back then.

I was tracing the steps I took that day and it was nothing but pain.

I stand right in front of his door and took all the courage before knocking on his door. At first, he wasn't responding but on the third louder knock I made, he, fortunately, open the door.

He is indeed in a great mess as soon as our eyes met. His dark eye circles were shouting lack of sleep. But good thing he doesn't reek with alcohol. He was so surprised to see me standing there and he immediately looked at his mess behind.

"What...How did you...Why?" He starts panicking and left the door open as he run towards the living room, full of mess.

He was so decided to mess his life, literally.

I walk inside and slowly looked around. I didn't notice that he has a great unit. Well, I didn't have time to do that back then but this somehow feels so... empty.

"You should have called me that you are passing by." He said.

I didn't say anything and I just open my palm towards him. He was confused if he would take it shake hands or what.

"Give me either your card or cash. I'll buy stuff to make something to eat." I blurted.

I don't know if this is the right thing to do but I just believe I am doing what fits the current situation. I'll forget about what happened in the past and what's going to happen tomorrow... for the meantime.