Have You Wonder

Fond of Him

Today is kind of a free day for me because all I have to do for the next two days is to attend a set of seminars and training. I arrived at the venue early and I guess all these people waiting outside are participants as well. I looked around hoping I know someone s I can have my buddy throughout the session but I failed. I barely knew any of these people.

The woman in her thirties start opening the two entrance doors and everyone proceeded inside. I kept looking around hoping I know someone but still, I found no one.

I took a seat on the middle row of the first column. No one dares to take the first row thinking that line is prone for the people to be asked for participation by the trainers.

We start signing across our names on the master list and I browsed the list, still hoping to have a friend in here. But when I flipped the page on the second page, I saw his name.

I looked around at the participants but he is nowhere to be found. I guess, he didn't attend the training s***h seminar or maybe he requested another schedule.

I didn't feel disappointed not knowing anyone in here until I found out Luke was supposed to be here. I can't help but feel a little down about that.

After a couple of hours of discussion, we will be having a group activity. Something I am never used to be comfortable with when attending this kind of seminars and training. I feel anxious working with strangers.

"Alright, we will be having a group activity. Let's start by creating your group which will be set for the two-day training." The trainer said.

We stand up from our seats and everything's in chaos while they eat is being arranged by the group number. I was standing on the side, waiting for the group number I belong with.

Now that we are all set, I couldn't help but remain silent after glancing and smiling forcibly at my designated teammates. Not to mention that we have more boys than girls team members.

After securing our seats, we were required to decide who should be the leader, assistant team leader, and secretary. I was about to volunteer to get that secretariat position because that's what I always do when a guy from the back mumbled something I never wished for.

"I believe the lady in the front-most should be our team leader than just a secretary. Anyone can do the writing and stuff but no one has the guts to lead."

Wait, what? What nonsense are you talking about?!

I can't help but wrinkle my forehead and furrow my brows upon hearing it. But I immediately ease my facial expression while looking at the team, trying my best not to throw a tantrum because of this annoying guy.

I was supposed to talk back but my heart didn't even let me do so as soon as it recognized who was that guy. I thought he's not here. Since when did he arrive?

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid you were not part of this team as far as I'm concerned." I talked back and he just smirked at my sudden attack.

"Well, I regret to inform you that you have no choice but to take me in as instructed by the trainer." He replied with an arrogant tone.

Everyone was looking at us while debating over nonsense and was very confused about what's going on. Since the time is up, they just agreed to Luke's suggestion as they feel way better not taking such an eye-catching position.

The group activities start and fortunately, we were able to finish the entire session in peace. Or else, I might have killed Luke for ruining my peace on that session.

We called it a day and I immediately walked out of the room trying to escape from Luke as he was talking with some other participants.

I walked as fast as I can but I don't know how did he catch me up. He speaks right behind me but I just keep ignoring him.

"Don't tell me we will be quarreling before we even start dating?" He exclaimed and that made me stop from taking another long stride.

I looked at him with a blank face. But I decided not to say anything.

I start walking hurriedly again hoping I could walk away from him immediately but he stopped me by holding onto the top grab handle of my backpack. That was humiliating but funny at the same time at how he abuses his strength and height just to hold me in place.

"Yaaaah~!" I shout while trying my best to hold back my laugh but I can't help it. We both laugh hard in the middle of the road like crazy and careless people.

I never saw myself laughing so hard for the past seven years. I almost forget how to do it until today, until Luke thought me how to laugh out things carelessly.

"That is so beautiful," Luke muttered.

I suddenly feel awkward with his compliment. I will never get used to hearing compliments but Luke keeps giving me butterflies with his words that I know are genuine and blurted out of sincerity. His eyes tell it all.

I hold back my smile by biting my lower lips but his words made me jump out of my wits once again.

"Stop seducing me with your lip-biting."

"What??? Seducing?!" I exclaimed in disbelief. Why would I seduce you?

"What I'm trying to say is you make me feel weak with those unintentional small gestures." He blurted as he slides the bag strap off from my shoulder.

He pulled the backpack away from me and hostage it. I didn't notice that we are right in front of his car and put my backpack in the back seat.

He opened the door at the passenger's seat and gestured his hand that I should come in if I want my bag back. So I was partially forced to ride on.

As soon as I seat comfortably, he was about to pull the seatbelt but I pushed him a little to stop him from doing so.

"I can manage." I blurted and he just smirked then proceeds to the driver's seat.

He starts the engine and buckles up his seatbelt. He took a glance at me before maneuvering the steering wheel and smiled handsomely while making his way out of the parking.

I can't help it. I am getting fond of every inch of him and every move he makes. I start getting conscious around him and feel empty when he's not. This sounds dangerous.

"Deep thoughts again?" He queried without looking at me as he focuses on driving.

How can he do that? How did he manage to interpret every move I make while doing other stuff at the same time. Stop mesmerizing me, Luke. D*mn!

"What do you mean?" I tried my best to shrug things off as if I have no idea what he's talking about.

"Stop reading between the lines. It will only lead to disappointment and frustrations. Just take it the way you receive it. Stop wondering about the other way around." He advised.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"When you feel flattered upon hearing compliments, smile when you feel like it. If receiving sweet gestures gives you sudden butterflies, enjoy it. Feeling these things is valid. Being happy over things beyond your set boundaries is fine, Enzey. Stop contemplating whether you deserve it or it may hurt you one day. Just seize the moment and care nothing about tomorrow." He glanced at me with a warm gaze as if he wishes me genuine happiness.

For some reason, that gaze made me feel like I can open up my thoughts to a great friend.

"The last time I did, all I received was heartache." I blurted.

"Well, love comes with pain. Whether you're still together or not, there will always be a time when you'll get hurt. But I'm pretty sure that you know, even in a short period, it is worth taking a risk. You'll never find and feel that happiness like it was when you feel nothing but love. It pains the most because you love him the most. There's no formula for the right amount for loving a person. It's always all or nothing." And that melts my heart.

This guy and his love wisdom tell me how warm he is as a person. If we end up being together, I'm pretty sure that he will never let me down through ups and downs. No specific reason, I just feel like.

"Then how will you know that a person is a worth-taking risk of? Because the last time I let my heart go on its way, it came back crushed... shattered into pieces. I got bruised and wounds fixing them and I just barely recover from those." I wondered.

"Have you wondered about how it feels like to spend time with that certain person? Have you wondered if you were brave enough to let him in, how happy you might be being with him? Have you wondered how it feels like to receive the love you thought you'll never experience again until he exceeds your expectation? Coz if you do, then he must be the answer to your prayers."

Are you?

Each night, I always pray to God that I hope I'll meet the right person for me. Someone reliable in all aspects. Someone who will always be there for me and who will always choose me each day no matter what. Someone who will be a great father to our future children and who will be a great husband to me in our entire life. I always pray for someone permanent.

Since I get to know you, I tend to wonder about things being shared with you. Something I stopped doing so after Kree until I met you. Should I try taking the bait and try to be a little brave to give it a try?

"I didn't realize it until today. I've been wondering... since the day I get fond of you. I'm not sure how am I feeling right now but... rejecting you might be one of the greatest regrets I'll have in my entire existence."

He looked at me, surprised by what I am saying. He couldn't look at me for more than two seconds while he was driving. So I stopped meeting his gaze and stared out of the window with a sweet smile on my lips.

Thanks for bringing back this long-lost happy heart of mine, Luke.