Bound To You

Chapter 3

Harold heard some things about Jess private life before. There were a lot of speculation about his sexuality, and from there, it gave birth to a lot of horrible rumors.

How clean can the private life of a man close to his thirties be? He never touched any females? He is unaffected even when female colleagues show their interest in him?

They are all guys, so how can it be that Jess have so much self-control?

If he's not impotent, then he must be gay!

When Harold remembered, he quickly released Jess hand. He might be dandy but he didn't planned to be the third party in a gay relationship. He denied again and again, “You misunderstood, Mister. I’m just Jess boss. He suddenly wanted to resign. I was just very worried, so I came to ask him to stay.”

Jess found it all absurd. Why he's speaking to that bastard as if he's —but when he realized what was happening, Jess looked at Harold and asked, “Why are you explaining too hard?”

Nielson look at the two of them, then comprehended that he misunderstood Jess and awkwardly said, “Can’t you make things clear? It’s my bad for misunderstanding but I wouldn’t have if you spoke in a nicer tone.”

Jess reacted coldly. “So what if I really date others? We already broke up. Who I would like to date has nothing to do with you? So please, just f**k off!!”

Jess words hit Nielson where it hurt the most. Nielson was long used to Jess gentleness, but it was as if the latter got possessed and was now full of thorns. If he touched Jess wrongly, he was bound to bleed.

And since Jess was too aggressive, Nielson started giving in. “I’m just concerned, okay, do you really have to be like this? I already came here to apologize. If I overreacted sorry about that too, it’s just your hands were on each other, so I misunderstood, okay.”

Jess felt his blood boil. “I should be grateful that you’re concerned!!? When were you ever worried over me!!? And now you’re telling me this?! And you have the nerve to accuse me of lying!! Hah!”

Jess felt pathetic. He didn’t start feeling unwell just recently. Nielson have seen him in pain multiple times but the bastard never said a word about it. He didn't even asked him if he's okay or not. He went to the hospital for checkups so many times but Nielson never realized, assuming that he was working overtime and complaining about him not doing the housework! And now, Nielson had the f*****g audacity to say that he was concerned about him?! How shameful can he be!!??

Hah! Jess didn't know if he would laugh or cry.

When did his life become like this??

Jess had never gotten so mad over Nielson ever since they started this charade, but it seems for now, enough is enough.

But the bastard Nielson didn't stop his useless reasoning and even said, “Isn’t that why I came to find you?”

“I-I already apologise to you. Even that's not enough?”

Jess looked at Nielson without any interest. He didn’t feel much hatred, nor love. He's just frustrated. Before life and death, what is love and hate? He wasted half of his life on Nielson, does he still need to continue doing so? Actually, he should have stopped more earlier before he get this hurt, but he’s too trusting, too naive. He devoted too much of his feelings in a person he thought would love him unconditionally, leaving him trapped and eventually wounded.

Jess started chasing him out. “You’re still not leaving?”

Feeling perplexed, Nielson wasn’t in the mood to answer back, but instead he said, “Why did you change so much?”

“I didn’t change, I have always been like this. I was just pretending in front of you. Bring your trash with you and don’t appear in front of me again.” Jess answered with a sneer.

Laughing out of anger, Nielson said, “Fine, fine. Remember what you said.”

“I will remember it clearly.”

One terrible fight ended with both sides badly wounded.

Jess held onto the door frame to catch his breath, feeling a dull pain in his chest and lower abdomen.

After a while, Jess turned around when he heard some crunching noise and saw Harold sitting on the sofa, eating a half empty box of popcorn on the coffee table.

Jess was taken aback. “You’re still here?

He was so focused on his argument with Nielson he forgot there was someone else in the room.

Harold smiled and patted off the crumbles on his hand, then embarrassingly requested, “I feel thirsty after eating. Do you have any juice? Please can you give me a glass..., best if it’s mango flavored one.”

“…”

“Get out.”

Harold clung onto the sofa and declared, “Jess, I’ll keep your secret safe for you!"

Jess pushed up his glasses and scowled at him. “You’re threatening me?”

Harold shook his head vigorously. “I wouldn’t dare, I wouldn’t dare… But if you’re willing to return to the company, I’ll find you a good boyfriend.”

Jess just scoffed at Harold. “Pft, you, get out too.”

“It’s okay, I’ll look for you again tomorrow…” Harold continued to be shameless.

Jess mocked, “You think I’ll fall for your tricks again and open the door for you?”

They started their tug of war again.

"Jessy, Jessy, you should at least give me a good enough reason! Or else, I won’t give up.” Harold pestered.

Jess was really unable to get Harold to budge. He released his hand and snapped, “Because I’m going to die! Are you satisfied now, ha?!!”

Harold stared blankly at Jess. “What do you mean?”

Jess showed no emotions on his face. Taking a deep breath, voice lowered, words clearly articulated and tone so calm as though he was recounting someone else’s story, he explained, “I mean it literally. I contracted a terminal illness and the doctor said I only have half a year to live.”

The room was filled with silence at that very moment.

Harold is speechless for a very long time, unsure of what to say. He can only give a simple. “…I’m sorry.”

“Can you get out?” Jess closed his eyes and took a deep breath, suppressing his emotions. “Do you have to force me to say it? I hate it when people look at me with such eyes.”

Harold didn’t know what he should feel. He finally stood up and walked towards the door before stopping again. “I’ll find you a doctor? You can return to the company after your illness is treated.”

Jess couldn’t hold himself back anymore and threw a fruit he randomly grabbed off the table at Harold. “What’s your problem?”

Harold winced slightly. “Okay, okay, I’ll leave.”

Jess threw an apple this time and threatened, “Don’t you dare tell anyone else about this!”

“You don’t even act like you’re about to die,” Harold muttered.

Jess felt awful. This old space was suffocating him, it was just like being in a nailed coffin. He couldn’t stand it.

He went online to book a president suite of a known 5-star hotel in the city and set off the next morning. Before he left, he broke his SIM card and changed it to one that wasn’t registered under his name.

Jess reached the hotel in the afternoon, clueless about where to start even though he wanted to go out and have some fun.

He honestly and seriously lived twenty-eight years of his life, had never indulge and enjoy himself, and didn’t even know how to have fun.

Emotions bottled up in him. He just wants to indulge in pleasure, how hard is that?

He thought through about his ordinary life and realised his biggest regret is living like a monk in the past, still a virgin at his age. He doesn’t want to die as an old virgin. Because even though he and Nielson were in a relationship for almost a decade they never passed from kissing and fondling. That should have clued him. The bastard clearly didn't like him as he proclaimed. He's probably not even gay. So why he's in a relationship with him?

Sighing, he took his phone and dialed the number he got from a man he met in this city who was running a p**********n business and placed an order. “I’m looking for a handsome guy. He needs to be young and good-looking enough, not older than twenty-five and is good in bed. Money isn’t an issue.”

Well, now that he's free and dying. He will do whatever the hell he like to do.

The other party replied when he received the deposit, “He will reach tonight. Which room are you staying in?”

“Room 2509.”

When the evening lights were lit, like lightning bolt, a silvery black motorbike zoomed by quickly on the road and eventually stopped at a hotel’s entrance. The rider got off and took off his helmet while supporting the motorbike, revealing a good-looking face.

Dumping the key and helmet to the valet who came forward to park the motorbike, he walked off with an expressionless face.

He looked around twenty-five years old, a man who just lost his naivety but still not too mature. There was an air of pure youthfulness around him, no dyed hair and no earrings, despite the leather shirt, jeans, sports shoes and black leather gloves making him look rebellious.

He was like an unpretentious, wild and hard to tame lone wolf.

He headed to the front desk to collect his room key.

“Room 2506, level 25.”

Instead of going up to his room, he went to a nearby bar to drown his sorrows, returning to the hotel only after he felt the alcohol going to his head.

He found his room.

For some reason, he couldn’t unlock the door and unable to think straight due to the alcohol, he knocked on the door.

Someone opened the door for him. A guy stood inside the door, looking nervous to see him but still reached out to hold him.

“?”

Jess hand is trembling. He mocked himself for being a coward in his heart then calmed down. “Come in.”

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