Found Again

Chapter 1-3

‘So how come you ended up in Cornwall?’ I asked, hoping this was safer ground.

‘Well, to start with I got a transfer to open up a new site in Exeter, however after a couple of years I finally decided that I was sick of trying to claw my way up the corporate ladder and that it was time I did something I enjoyed.

I came here for a short break and saw a “for sale” sign on a café and for once in my life I decided to take a chance.’

‘It’s a nice little place – the one with the blue shutters?’ I asked, already knowing the answer. Jo looked at me in amazement, so I told her how I had thought I’d seen her earlier in the day.

‘Why the hell didn’t you come in and say hello?’

‘Because I’ve been seeing your face and hearing your voice everywhere I go for the last 3 bloody years and it’s never actually, really you! I had no idea you in Cornwall so I assumed it was just my imagination playing tricks again. Besides, if I had known it was really you I’d probably have run a mile!’

Suddenly we were both howling with laughter at how ridiculous it was that I would have deliberately avoided her given the chance, but we ended up bumping into each other anyway.

It broke the ice and allowed us to relax and soon enough we were chatting like the old friends we were, remembering shared times and acquaintances, laughing and joking as if there had never been any trauma between us.

We watched the sun set and I realised that once again her hand was covering mine on the table, it felt wholly natural to turn my hand and lace my fingers through hers as the last orange rays descended, leaving us with candle light.

I had always loved the way Jo’s face looked by candle light; the way the soft flickers made her eyes dance and shine. We were sat silently again, just looking into each other’s eyes and as coffee was served I had to ask the question that was forefront in my mind.

‘So are you happy Jo?’

Her eyes never left mine as she considered her answer, our fingers were still entwined.

‘I am now.’

‘Now?’

‘Now that I’ve seen you again.’

I hadn’t realised I was holding my breath until it left my body in a whoosh. My heart was hammering in my chest and I felt the emotion in her words rather then heard it. Hope leapt into my chest and the feelings that I had for this woman were threatening to engulf me. I had to make a concerted effort to stay calm; I couldn’t afford to allow false hope to cloud my thinking, she was married for f***s sake!

‘I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you Jo.’ I couldn’t help but say it; I could never lie to her about anything.

‘I’ve missed you too Vicki, so very much.’ Her eyes left mine and slid to the table, the nervousness apparent in her voice ‘Can we, could we, maybe ... spend some more time together? Tomorrow maybe? I could show you around, if you want to that is?’

Her eyes tentatively found mine again, searching for a reaction, an answer, a form of acceptance. It was now or never. The question I dreaded asking.

‘Won’t your husband mind?’

I could hear the blood rushing through my ears as I waited for her answer, waited for her to tell me that he’d be fine as he didn’t know our history; waited for her to tell me what a kind, loving and considerate man he was. I didn’t want to hear any of it and yet I knew I must.

‘I’m single Vicki. It’s true that I did get engaged briefly after a whirlwind affair but I broke it off long before we started actually planning the wedding.’

‘Oh I’m sorry Jo.’ And you know what? On some level I truly was sorry. Sorry that she hadn’t found happiness. On another level I was over the f*****g moon and jumping for joy!

‘What happened? Why did you split up?’

‘He wasn’t right for me Vicki. He’s a nice guy, intelligent, fairly good looking, caring but........... he wasn’t you.’

By now I had fanfares and fireworks going off in my head and just when it was my turn to say something my damn mouth had seized up again. There were so many sentences in my head fighting to get out that none of them made it past my lips, instead I just lifted our hands to my mouth and lightly kissed the back of her fingers. I needed to find some control again, keep it light.

‘So what are you going to show me tomorrow, don’t you have to be at the café?’

‘I haven’t actually taken over the café properly yet. The sale is complete and it’s definitely mine but I don’t take control for another few weeks. I have to be there in the morning to sign some papers but I can be free from about midday. Since you already know where it is why don’t you meet me there at noon and we’ll take it from there?’

As we sat in the taxi on the way back Jo again took my hand in hers and when we arrived at the campsite she turned to me, looking shy.

‘You know I have a perfectly comfortable bed at my place, I mean a comfortable SPARE bed!’ she amended in haste. ‘You don’t have to sleep in a tent you know.’

She looked embarrassed and I wondered if she’d also had fleeting visions of what we used to get up to together in bed.

‘Thanks but I’m good; you know how much I like camping.’

To be quite honest – I needed some alone time to process everything that had happened and I knew I’d never think straight with Jo in close proximity. She climbed out of the cab with me and we hugged once more, kissing cheeks as we said our goodbyes, except this time it wasn’t really “goodbye”, it was “see you soon” and as Jo climbed back into the car and I headed off across the dark field to my tent, I swear my smile was bright enough to light the way ahead.

*