Divorced, but Not broken

Chapter 13

I was just staring at him when he started to move and I felt the small pain of not being used to this and felt embarrassed again, f**k, I hadn’t had s*x in at least two years, and even then, it had been like one time that year, a short f**k when Ryan was home sick… well at least I know why he caved in that time, he couldn’t get out and f**k either one of his whores, so I had to make due.

“NO! you, right now, look at me, I don’t want to see that s**t of you thinking about something else when I’m f*****g you, you got that!” I flinched from the hard words when he caught my eyes and I swallowed, he looked even more pissed now than before, like he really couldn’t tolerate me not being present in the room with him.

“I’m sorry Jonah…” I made a small sniffle when he stopped and I just felt like s**t seeing that he was really angry, all of this was my fault, I got it, I wouldn’t want him thinking of someone else either. I sucked.

“I don’t want f*****g sorry, that’s not what I want Andrea, I want to hear you scream from the pleasure I am giving you, and if you aren’t ready, then I’m just leaving, no matter how f*****g hard I am for you.” He was already reaching for his clothes again when I sat up and shook my head, no! no he was not leaving, no!

“Don’t leave!” I was having my hand at his arm, begging when he just looked at me with his hard eyes, disappointed and so was I, disappointed in me.

“It’s just that… well f**k… he didn’t want me you know… my husband, I just realised that right now and I’m sorry that it happened, he really didn’t want me, and I had no f*****g idea….” I got quiet. That was it, if he wanted to leave, then he could do it, he wouldn’t be the first guy to just walk away from me showing my track record.

He made a big sighed and dropped his clothes again, me still looking down at the floor, feet dangling feeling like I was a schoolgirl and not a grown woman, older than him, I sure wasn’t when I felt his hands around my face, lifting it up and made me look into his now warm eyes that made everything feel better when they were on me.

“Biggest f*****g i***t, ever. So, he didn’t want you, but I do, I wanted you since the second I saw you yelling at me in doorway, I just… Andrea…. I need you to f*****g trust me, that’s all, I can’t give you… everything, and I know that, but I need your trust, right here and now, or this, us, we are not going to work.” I just stared into his eyes searching them, he said that he didn’t want a relationship, that him f*****g me wouldn’t change a thing, and now all the sudden, he talked about us, me trusting him, I didn’t get that.

“Us?” that was all I wanted to know, and he realised what he had said and looked like he was making curses in his head, a long line of them when he finally answered, still holding onto my face.

“I told you, you can’t be my girlfriend, that is never going to happen, but like I said, I do care about you, and believe me, I sure want to f**k you more after this…” he faded out and blinked, so he wanted to be f**k buddies more or less… I was biting my lip again, I guess I could accept that, I really liked what he could do to me, and I trusted him, which was stupid, but he had been there for me, more than anyone else had been for years.

“Fine, I trust you Jonah, I do… and I’m accepting that I can’t be your girlfriend….” That last part sucked to say but I didn’t want to lose him too, and I wasn’t going to push him for more then what he wanted, I just hoped that It didn’t destroying me in the end, having feelings for him when he didn’t have them back, I needed to start being careful around him more, not just give him my heart when I felt like I wanted to , that was going to be so hard.

He gave me a big smile back when I returned it shyer, he sure was a magnetic force to be reckoned with, but he did care for me, and maybe that was enough for now, and when it wasn’t, that was a problem for the future.

“Good, now, do I need to start all over or can I continue f*****g you?” he was almost laughing when I sighed, I guess he could continue, I was still wet, my mood was gone but he didn’t need that to finish, Ryan never did the few times we did it the last years.

I didn’t even have time to answer when he sank down, opened up my legs for him and made a small, shocked breath from the tongue that was feeling me and the slight deep chuckle making his breath on my p***y getting warmer was making me already bucking my hips not being able to really control them.

He didn’t talk, just let that tongue keep going over me when I was on my back again, not caring on how I was moaning from the way he was opening me up, getting deeper inside and pushed his fingers inside me, making me take deeper breaths from the way he way already f*****g me again with his fingers.

“Oh… oh…. Jonah… I’m f*****g coming, baby please don’t stop!” I was begging him when he got more aggressive, making me start to convulse when I felt the hard clench around his fingers again and his face getting deeper inside my legs when I yelled the last part of the shockwaves coming over me again.

The sound of his voice when he was lapping my juice up was making me so f*****g hot again, just being completely dead when I made a small twitch every time his tongue was taking another lap at me, f**k he was really getting me sensitive when he finally got up and I smiled at his grinning face, still covered from my juices when he leaned over and kissed me, I didn’t care about him just going down on me and the making me kiss him, he was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

“Good girl, telling me when you were about to come, that means that you get something back, and right now, I am going to f**k you just hard enough to make you come again, and then, I’m going to turn you around, you got that Andrea?” he was talking so f*****g calm making me shiver when I just nodded, I was tired as hell and I expected him to start frowning when I didn’t answer.

but this time he didn’t care when he got a new condom and just parted my legs more, made him come inside me and I just smiled at him when he started to move over me, the small sensitive of burning was already coming from my core when he leaned over me and kissed me without stopping, making me moan into his mouth feeling the clenching coming back around him and f**k it felt good, the hard d**k that kept slamming into me in an even pace and his mouth dominating mine when I slapped my legs around his hips, made myself push back and got louder from the strong force that was getting deeper every time he was going inside me.

I wanted to hold him down when he got deeper but he just kept pushing me back, making me scream when my eyes met his.

He loved this, seeing me scream for him when I grasped at his back and curled my fist from the hard enormous wave I had so fare being drown by his mouth on mine again, still riding out my orgasm, making my screams to small sounds of whimpers when he finally stopped and stayed inside me, just watching me when I was having tears in my eyes, but I wasn’t sad. I just felt overwhelmed, by him, by how f*****g good he made me feel and that I was so lucky I had him in my life.

“Hey… you okay baby girl?” he sounded so sweet when I just nodded and some more tears were falling down, I was fine, I really was. I had the best s*x I ever had in my life with a hot guy that cared for me, I didn’t even know why I was crying when he stroked the hair out my face and smiled more tender at me, I tried to smile back but I just cried, just me being pathetic.

“Okay, so… I know I said that I was going to f**k you some more, but I think that’s enough for today…” he just slides out and picked me up and I didn’t stop him when he carried me over to the bed and laid me down gently before coming up behind me and spooned me with his body and caressed my hair. It felt great but I couldn’t speak, not right now when he just cuddles me closer and I closed my eyes, I didn’t know what the hell happened, but I was glad that he was here, holding me, not letting go when I just snapped.

maybe he just had been waiting for it, what did I know, Jonah was a mystery at best, but I decided that from now on, I wouldn’t care, he told me what he wanted, and I was going to respect that, and what the future held, that was a problem for just that, the future.