Pregnant with the Bad Boy

19

“Jesus, Mary and Josef, he's on his way over!”

The woman at my side gasped as he moved purposefully between people towards me and I was engulfed by the way he moved, like a lion going through gazelles, a king among peasants. I sighed happily, that man was mine. just mine.

He had come up to me and the woman who had been panicking for the last ten seconds that he was coming, stared in amazement at the way he came up purposefully and kissed me quickly in front of all the people making everyone stare, like everyone.

“Hey babe, I just wanted to see you again before I get to busy.” He quickly turned around and walked back from the way he came.

“Good luck baby!” I called after him and he quickly waved at me before disappearing behind the curtain of people gathered as the competitions were about to begin.

“He is my boyfriend.” I looked calmly at the woman who was embarrassed from head to toe in the floral dress as I smiled kindly and walked towards the section I had been placed on.

I almost sat long which was unnecessary as I looked down at the phone more times than at the riders, I was just waiting for Mandy really, sure the horses were magnificent, and I understood that there was a lot of work behind each moment, but I would never be a horse fan.

The speaker yammering on, and I heard Mandy's name and I looked up, there she was sitting world class on a big white horse, she looked like a princess with her pink hair in a neat set under her riding helmet, I picked up the phone and quickly took a couple of photos of her, I was going to send them to my mom when I pulled up the courage to call her.

Mandy didn't see me but just sat tensely on the big horse that was 4 times her size that was restlessly flapping its hooves. I was suddenly scared, what if she was thrown off!? I wanted to jump over the fence and pull her away, my nails had torn into the plastic of the chair I was sitting on, then I saw him, Dylan. He was standing on the outside hanging on the rink, and he was talking to her calmly and controlled, she didn't answer but nodded several times and he looked pleased at last, and her gaze was focused, I had never seen her like this, was this the same girl who cried over Toby Aldrin a few days ago? No way, this girl was going to take over the world.

I gasped as the team moved and a bell rang, and she set the horse in motion, and I think I was going to faint as they jumped over the first obstacle and didn't tear. I watched in fascination as she took each obstacle without a single fault until the last one when the horse tore the highest pole on the obstacle. I was so proud of her; she would have been amazing! I stood up and applauded to the others unsurprisingly, I guess I wasn't the only one who was proud of my family.

Mandy looked disappointed and she moved her horse around and was cursing as someone came and led her out, I wanted to run to her to tell her I was so proud but I was stuck where I was for a while longer. I barely looked at the other riders going through and I looked at the ranking list, she was in third place, she wouldn't be happy with that. I walked down to the rink, I wanted to try and catch her as they were picking the next moment, I quickly walked around the big rink and walked towards where I had seen her go in, I was a bit scared of the horses moving restlessly as I slipped past in and quickly walked through a long corridor that led out to another smaller enclosure, I had already seen her and was about to go forward as Dylan had got ahead. I didn't hear what they were saying but he had that look that made everything better as he squeezed her shoulder with one hand and I plucked up the courage to go along, I was completely out of my element and I jumped scared as a horse frustrated loudly at my side, I must have screamed louder than I thought as they both turned their heads at the same time and saw me.

He said something to her, and she nodded heavily, I really felt like a nuisance now, I had just wanted to help.

“Jen!” He came running towards me as I stopped, I didn't know if I would dare go any further as she sat with her head tucked between her knees.

“How is she? ”I looked worriedly at my sister who had not come to see me.

Dylan smiled at my concern as he grabbed my arm and led me out the last bit.

“She's good but she's impulsive and makes too quick decisions, just like her big sister.” He laughed lowly as I squinted sourly at his comment, quick decisions, would he say anything about that?

“Kind of like asking someone to marry you after a few days.” I sneered as he put the laughter in his throat and chuckled.

“she'll get over it, there will be more competitions and she's only a junior so far.” He looked away from me evasively as I nudged him lightly and we both laughed at our secret.

“Mads?” I squatted down where she sat sobbing over her loss, I guess we weren't so different after all.

“Go away.” She snorted and looked up red-faced from under her helmet, I smiled sadly at her grief, but it was grief that would pass.

“You were so good! I'm so proud of you!” I put my hand on her arm and she looked at me strangely, I blinked a couple of times as she dragged her arm across her nose, something my mother had died to see and muttered sourly at me.

“I came in third...” she looked at Dylan now who winked at her, I looked jealously at their wordless communication, before smiling encouragingly at her sullen face.

“Yeah, but when I saw you in there, I don't think I've ever seen you more focused and determined, like you could do anything if you wanted to.” I became more passionate than I had imagined, and she suddenly started giggling at me and I looked confused as Dylan scoffed too, I swung my head quickly between them as Dylan was still laughing helping me up.

“Come on, before you burst.”  He pulled me along and Mandy was still laughing as he led me in off to the side and I looked worriedly after Mandy who was still laughing.

“Is something wrong?” I looked sceptically at his highly amused face trying not to laugh still.

“Jen, babe. Your pants are ripped.” He looked meaningfully at my backside, and I felt horrified that he was right.

“Fuck.” My cheeks were already hot, I knew my pants had been tight and I hadn't thought about it.

 “God, what if someone saw it!?” I put my hands shamefully over my mouth and nose and looked with panic into his amused eyes that sparkled with affection even if he was laughing at me.

“No, the others were luckily inside, but I don't know how to get you out without anyone seeing your ass.” he looked at my butt again, I felt so incredibly stupid, this was the worst thing that could happen.

“Give me your car keys.” I put my hand out and he actually flinched as I slapped him instead of asking to borrow his truck.

“Jennifer, let's take it easy here, you remember what happened the last time you drove, right?” I stared angrily into his awkward face trying to come up with excuses because I couldn't drive it.

“Give. Me. The f*****g keys.” I hissed out the words as he sourly rummaged them out of his pocket, and he looked at me with grave eyes.

“I love you, but if you mess up my truck, it's over.” His face was tense, and he inhaled and exhaled loudly a few times as I quickly took them from his hand and tore a jacket off the wall next to the stand and tied it quickly around me.

“that’s theft babe.” His eyebrows raised meaningfully at the jacket as I smiled sweetly at him.

“I don't mind, my boyfriend works here.” I kissed him quickly before he had realised what had happened, I laughed to myself, he was probably still standing there like a fool wondering what had happened.

I avoided all the people I could before I finally found my way to the parking lot, this place was a hell of a lot bigger than the town it was next to.

I saw Dylan's truck and quickly pressed the unlock, I was a little nervous about driving but the fear was tempered by the shame of someone seeing me as I easily climbed in and got behind the wheel, it felt like my old Lada, only it was bigger as I pulled on my seatbelt and pressed the clutch to put it in gear, so far no disaster as I backed out slowly and headed out on the same road I had driven off just last week, I quickly got over the scar that was left from the crash, I drove as calmly as I could, I didn't want to accidentally hit anything again and I really believed Dylan when he said he would end it if I accidentally crashed into his beloved truck.

“It looks like we'll have to compete for his love.” I laughed to myself as I talked to the truck, I was going crazy.

It took about 30 minutes to get back to town where I parked carefully and got out.

I checked my phone, I had 4 messages from Dylan wondering if I had made it, I quickly texted that I had arrived as I walked slowly up the stairs and towards our door when a figure suddenly rose from the shadows and horror struck me as I stared in shock at the tall man with poison green eyes and thick black hair.

“Dad?” I looked at him dumbly as he smiled faintly at me like it hadn't been almost a year since I last saw him.

“Hey Jenni.” His voice was raspy as I remembered it and he was wearing jeans, a leather jacket and a t-shirt. I had never seen him this relaxed in my life.

“What are you doing here?” I looked around in surprise, was my mother with him? He must have understood what my gaze was looking for and he was smiling sadly now.

“Your mother is not here; she is still at the farm.” my hands were shaking for some reason, I knew why she was not here, they had split up after 20 years together.

“Why are you here? I looked at him, he had lost weight since I last saw him, and his face was furrowed by the years that had passed as he smiled innocently at me.

“Can't a father say hello to his daughter?” I nodded expectantly at his words; I still didn't know how I felt about him coming out of nowhere.

“Of course, I got scared just because you've been gone so long.” He nodded guiltily at my words, and I took a hesitant step towards him, and I froze as he walked after me towards the apartment door.

“I heard you got together with someone.” His voice sounded happy and overprotective at the same time; I would have scoffed at his paternal instincts if it wasn't for the fact that I was too nervous.

I unlocked the door and walked in, he followed and looked around, I studied him suspiciously as he sat down on the couch and looked around contentedly as if it was a castle he had stepped into.

“Your mother and I had something similar before we had you.” His gaze turned nostalgic, and I didn't go to the purple kitchen and turn on the coffee pot, I lost count three times as the only thing in my head was that he was here.

“So?” I sounded more interested than I was, I didn't want to hear about their teenage romance that went to s**t because my mom got pregnant with me.

“Yeah, except in Little Rock, but we moved to the farm six months after you were born.”

I closed my eyes wearily, there it was, I was the reason they got married and everything else that came with it.

“Must have been hard when you were so young.” I had come back in to the couch and I looked quickly towards the bedroom, I had to get out of these pants, whether he was here or not.

“I'm just going to change, give me five minutes.” I didn't wait for his reply and quickly slipped behind the door to the bedroom and stood against it with my back after I had closed it quickly.

I felt dizzy, I didn't know what he wanted, and I felt crowded by his presence, we hadn't been alone in ... I didn't even remember when it was.

I threw myself down on my suitcases I hadn't even unpacked, I ripped one of Dylan's hoodies for me and a pair of jeans from the bag, I wanted to hide as much as I could from him.

I went into the bathroom and closed the locked door, not that I thought he would go into the bedroom, but my insecurities were urging me on as I pulled off the torn pants quickly and pulled up the high jeans that were hidden by the hoodie, I threw on quickly after I tore off my shirt.

I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked so much like him it was frightening, anyone could see I was his daughter as I brushed my hair back quickly in a ponytail and examined my identical eyes in the mirror that glowed poison green in the dimness of the bad light.

I sighed and walked out, I knew I had to do this, no matter how awkward it would be, I quickly put my phone in my pocket, just in case I needed to call Dylan.

He was still sitting when I came back out and went straight to the kitchen with a faintly distant smile and he calmly looked after me, I barely recognised him, he looked happy for the first time in his life, and I don't know if that scared me more than seeing him angry like I was used to.

I handed him one of the two coffee mugs and he gratefully accepted it as I sat expectantly on the edge of the sofa and looked down into the mug, he sat just as quietly as I suddenly looked up at his warm face.

“you're getting a divorce, aren't you?” I knew it even as he nodded briefly, I was uncomfortable how he could just throw away an entire life in a few seconds. -Yes Jenni, we're getting divorced, but you know better than anyone that we haven't lived together for a long time now. I swallowed as he used my old nickname, he used to say to me, it felt like going back in time for a few seconds.

“did you even try to patch it up?” My voice was more accusatory as he laughed low and me and drummed on the cup.

“More times than I care to admit.” His voice was deep with sadness and joy in the same way I looked down in shame, of course they had, I was an i***t.

“What's going to happen to the farm? With Mom and Mandy?” My voice had been trembling as he looked up at me with that familiar face that was still so alien.

“I don't care about the farm, it's your mother's home, and she'll be fine, and so will Mandy, they always have been.” He smiled sadly again, and I tightened my grip on the mug, his answers were honest, but they pissed me off.

“So now you have everything sorted then you can live your new life untroubled by the old.” My voice was harsh and worst of all. It sounded just like his.

He didn't answer me but just looked at me and smiled proudly as if I had said something that made him happy.

“My little girl, when did you grow up?” He chuckled and I didn't hold back the tears anymore as I put the mug down with a bang.

“When you weren't here!” I realised afterwards that I was shouting, and his smile quickly faded, I felt a twinge of remorse but not enough to stop being angry with him.

“You weren't here! There was no one to show me how to do or why about life, I've had to learn everything myself!” His eyes had taken on a shameful expression now as I frustrated angrily at his stupidity that he had put himself in.

“I'm sorry Jenni...” his voice was a shadow of what I was used to and I stopped myself, what was the point of being angry, neither of us could rewind time.

“Why are you here dad?!” I looked sharply into the identical eyes that lit up the dim apartment.

“I wanted to see you, that's all, explain everything before you heard it from your mother.” His voice was desperate, and I stood up now with my arms crossed.

“So explain, I'll listen once, that's all you have.” I dug my nails deeper into Dylan's hoodie and he sighed deeply and took a slow breath before looking straight at me.

“I've been cheating, for a long time. Long enough to know that I've lived two lives.” He fell silent and I started to laugh as he looked up at my hysterical laughter.

“I know! I saw you! In f*****g Oklahoma!” He just looked blankly at me as I continued to scream.

“I know, I've known it for two years at least.” My voice trailed off and he looked even more dejected.

“You have a brother.” His words made me gasp for breath. I put my hand against my chest and tried to breathe as he was about to get up to help me when I held my hand up against his movements.

“Don't f*****g touch me!” I put my hands down on my lap and leaned forward, trying to get control of my breathing as my father stared helplessly at me from the couch.

“He's 1.5 years old...” he didn't have time for more as I darkly told him.

“I don't f*****g care how old he is, do you get that you piece of s**t?!" I looked up grimly at the man who was a stranger in my home.

“Please Jenni...” his voice was hurt, and I didn't care, I wanted him to suffer, for everything, for me, for Mandy and for mum.

“get out.” I pointed towards the door as he tried to say something before he defeatedly nodded, put the cup down and walked towards the door. I still didn't look at him as his voice was heard before the door closed.

“I love you Jenni.” I sat down on the floor and cried, what the hell had he said to me!? He had another kid, he was 43 f*****g years old, he wasn't going to have a baby, I was an adult for crying out loud! i sobbed louder and wrapped my arms around my legs where I sat. I hated him so much, and I hated the slut he had been with, I even hated my new brother.

It was all my fault, I should have said something the first time I saw him with that skank, then maybe he would have stayed and tried it again with mom, but I would have been too much of a coward. I hated myself the most.

I lay down on the cold floor, it felt good to be down there as my cheeks still burned from the anger that pumped through me as I closed my eyes, f*****g i***t he was. What the f**k was he doing coming here, to the one place on earth that was my sanctuary from all the f*****g s**t that was happening around me.

I cried quietly now as the anger was fading and I was filled with the grief of having lost him long ago without knowing it.

I heard the keys in the lock, and I looked up at Dylan's shoes coming in and he swore low at me.

“Damnit Jen you could have picked me up if you took the car...” he stopped in his tracks when he must have seen me and threw himself down and pulled me up so he could see me properly. I looked sadly into his eyes that burned with worry and anger at the same time as he quickly looked around before noting that no one had attacked me in here.

“Jennifer. What happened?” His voice was deep, serious and I snorted and smiled happily even though my eyes were red with tears.

“My dad, he was waiting outside when I arrived.” I smiled wider almost like I wanted to laugh as his gaze hardened and his jaw tightened at my revelation.

“Did he hurt you!? Where the f**k is he!?” He was about to let me go when I quickly stopped him, and he looked at me in confusion with his big grey eyes.

“He's not here and no, he didn't hurt me. He was here to tell me why he had been gone so long.” I sighed and put my head down so my hair fell like a fan over my face, Dylan pulled it back up and I looked devastated into his wondering eyes that could take on the world for me.

“Remember I told you he was cheating... it turns out he has a new family in Oklahoma...” I wearily pulled away the string that had run, I wasn't crying anymore, just that Dylan was here made the air easier to breathe.

His eyes widened and I leaned against his chest where we remained on the floor and he put his hand on my head.

“I have a brother apparently who is 1.5 years old...” I bit my lip and felt sorry for myself.

Dylan still hadn't responded but I felt him stiffen up like I had punched him.

“Do you know what the worst part of it all is? How am I supposed to live with myself knowing that I hate a kid who doesn't even know what kind of asshole father he has.” I drew the scent of Dylan deep into my lungs as he stood me up and I looked confusedly at his cold face whose eyes were angry at me as I put my hands around his face in fear of his anger as he tried to look away.

“Yeah...I'm a result of cheating too.” His words were so vulnerable, and I drew in a surprised breath, of course, I hated myself even more now.

“But in my case, the second my father found out about my existence, he disappeared back to his wife and my mother had to fend for herself with me and the rest you know...” his eyes were full of pain now and I was already begging with my own for him to forgive me for what I said.

“Dylan...I'm sorry...I didn't know...” his words had taken the air out of me, and we sat dumbly on either side of him not knowing what to say.

“That's it... so please Jen... don't hate your brother, he'll probably have a hard enough time as it is...” he wrapped his hands around each other where he sat with his knees drawn up and I didn't know what to say.

“I won't… You're right.” I tried to talk myself out of it more than him as he looked up and had a small sad smile at my own encouragement.

“I love you so much. You know that, right?” I looked ruefully into his own musing as he nodded heavily at my declaration of love.

“I know." he held out his hand to me and we stood up together, I put my arms around him and hugged him as tightly as I could.

“Don't leave me now that you know what a horrible person I am...” I pleaded with my head against his chest and he grunted and pulled me free to my great fear.

“What are you talking about babe, I'm not going to leave you just because you're mad at your asshole dad.” he smiled reassuringly at me and I breathed out again, I had been so scared that he would hate me for what I had said and think I was a disgusting person.

His beautiful face looked more tender at me every second I spoke and he kissed me quickly as I was about to start crying again.

“No one will be able to stop me from being by your side, not even you.” He pulled my hair away thoughtfully and I pressed against his hand so it touched my cheek, it felt bare that he was here and when he spoke to me it was like everything I had built up in my head came crashing down and all that was left was the two of us against the world.

“Do you promise?” I looked questioningly into his eyes that calmly looked into mine.

“I promise.” He pulled me closer and we held each other tightly, I had forgotten how long as he slowly let go of me and I blinked sleepily at his smile as he pulled me into the bedroom and without a word pulled off my jeans and shirt, put on any t-shirt he found and laid me down on the bed, I blinked up at his profile as he undressed and sat on the side of the bed, damn he was gorgeous, I loved him so much.

He lay down on his side and pulled me into his big arms and I enjoyed feeling of being completely protected from the world in his arms, it was the best feeling there was.

“Good night Dylan.” I looked into the darkness as he turned the light off quickly and he responded by wrapping his arms around me again.

“Good night Jen.” I was already asleep.