The Wedding Scammer, Part 3
1885 Words
As roving constabulary officers promptly arrest the burglars who tried to infiltrate the beleaguered couple's home, we three engage in a strategy conference with the couple.
“Good thing he hasn't formally thrown away the addresses of his various contacts,” Tibbie opens.
“Yeah. He may be a crook; but in the midst of his megalomania, he forgot the little things that make the so-called perfect crime,“ I follow.
“And with these many contacts, it would be best if we all split up and consult them all in the shortest amount of time possible. After all, we cadets uphold efficiency,” Laika supplements.
“Nice line of thinking,” Marla reacts. “We knew we could rely on our future soldiers par excellence!”
Five minutes later, we decide which person's gonna consult who.
Laika, Yulissa, and I will consult the following:
Armin Garci, the tailor who restored both the tuxedo and the wedding dress.
Nikka Flacko, the laundrywoman who made both the tuxedo and the wedding dress squeaky clean for the big day.
Father Serafin Geos, the chief minister of the local Temple of the Most High.
Sixto Miya-Sans, the decorator and interior designer.
As for the couple, they pick the following:
Hipolita Juntilla, the florist.
Pantaleon Cheng, the maître d' of The Acceptable Ad restaurant.
Edward Gilbert Azeht and Restituto Pamplona, the two bards for hire.
Perpetua Eutislayp, the owner and proprietor of the handicraft shop in charge of the wedding souvenirs.
“Good to go, then,” Tibbie says.
I answer, “10-4. See you again later.”
We three and the couple then part ways for the meantime.
The couple, having already learned their lesson from being almost victimized by burglars, lock their home down to the last detail beforehand.
Three blocks north, we track down the homes of Armin the tailor and Nikka the laundrywoman, who are next-door neighbors who have collaborated on previous wedding arrangements several times before, according to the couple.
“Ah, so you three are the cadets Tiburcio and Marla talked about! Welcome, welcome, welcome!”
Nikka greets us, and Armin follows up with the following.
“We have much to tell you that will be helpful in solving the case. Let's have a talk over there at the patio.”
The patio cleanly divides the two neighboring houses.
Guess it's no surprise that the tailor and the laundrywoman are the best of friends and business associates.
“Let's cut to the chase, then,” states Armin. “Before we've even met Mr. Quattuorze, we two have been working together to make sure the dresses and tuxedos of our clients be at their most pristine for their big day. But then, once he initially contacted us, I knew he was up to no good.”
Nikka follows, “That scammer was haggling too much. Normally, we charge 2,000 guintos each for our services. As part of my partner's job, he has to ensure there are no hidden holes or vulnerable spots which would tear those clothes apart and would cause wardrobe malfunctions if, say, the groom and bride decide to dance like acrobats at the reception. And as for me, I'm not just washing them in detergent and drying them under the sun. I also have to resolve issues such as yellowing due to prolonged sun exposure and persistent nicotine smells, especially if the previous users are heavy smokers or were around them.”
“Anyway, thanks for the info,” Laika concludes.
“Best of luck then, you three.”
Armin and Nikka bid us goodbye as we head towards the town's Temple of the Most High.
“Watch out! You're stepping into an ant's nest!”
Whoops. I concentrate so much on our job that I sometimes forget even the simplest obstacles in our way forward.
I promptly heed Yulissa's warning and avoid accidentally getting my feet onto said ant's nest, which is located near the sidewalk.
Phew. Ants in the pants may be bad, but ants in the boots are way worse.
Finally, we get into the temple.
The chief minister, Fr. Serafin Geos, welcomes us as a servant of the Most High should.
“Welcome, fellow children of the Most High. I've heard about your arrival from the couple who got scammed but pushed on with their wedding, anyway.”
Seconds later, after introducing ourselves, we three listen attentively to his side of the story.
“To begin with, I never knew Mr. Quattuorze to be a swindler. Guess even servants of the Most High like me fall victim to the sweet talk of the likes of him. Anyway, to begin with, I took pity on the couple and still proceeded with the ceremony even without the decorations. What matters most is that the union has the utmost blessing of the Most High.”
I ask the minister, “Father, did you sense anything suspicious about him?”
“Indeed, yes. He has already paid 1,500 guintos to me the day before the wedding as down-p*****t, and he said that he'll pay the other half once the wedding's over. But then, with the couple saying they've been duped, I would never expect to get that other 1,500. As another act of mercy, I've then decided to return the 1,500 given to me back to them, and I even assured them that the remaining 63,500 guintos will be theirs once again, by the grace of the Most High.”
“Thanks, Father.”
“May you three cadets be blessed with enough strength to act as the swords of justice. Farewell.”
Our final destination is the office of Sixto Miya-Sans, the decorator and interior designer.
And once we see him face-to-face, he's... how should I say it... flamboyant.
“Hello, hello, hello, my sisterettes! And oh my, you two have bought a hunk with you! Well, that's all for my bodacious greetings. I've already been informed beforehand by Tibbie and Marla that you three cadets will pay a visit. So come on, enter my proud man-cave, or should I say, woman-cave!”
We introduce ourselves as usual before entering his, yeah, woman-cave.
Amidst the scenery of loud pastel colors that define his abode, what he knows about the scammer is serious and to the point.
“That no-good scammer, Kabuzu Quattuorze. From day one, I knew him to be a crook. Sure, he may have a good-looking office and all, but all he's chasing after is money, money, money. During the launching of his business, I saw him bribing several people. I asked my friends to track those people down, and they all confirmed what I've suspected: He was paying those peeps to make his business fragrant. Yeah, as fragrant as rotten flesh, that is!”
My intuitions of the scammer using astroturfing turn out to be true, after all.
“He continued to bribe journalists and influencers, until this whole incident with Tibbie and Marla blew up. Since then, he's been hiding somewhere in this prefecture, according to my eagle-eyed friends.”
Yulissa reacts, “Thanks for divulging what you know about him.”
“No sweat. All in the service of making newlyweds past, present, and future happy again. Well, I've already said enough, ain't I? Well, have fun solving the case!”
Now that we've extracted valuable information from the people who transacted with the scammer, it's time for us to head back.
The time now is 5 post meridiem.
Over early dinner they prepared for us all, the two adventurers tell us what they've gathered so far, after we've relayed our own intelligence gathering to them.
Tibbie goes first.
“The florist said that the scammer was acting honest, so she complied with his bulk order of roses. Unfortunately, the next day, she could not see the roses she gave him. What she saw instead... were paper roses on his office. I could tell by the look on her face that those real roses she planted and took care of for months all went to nothing.“
Marla is next.
“He was not mincing words when the maître d' told us that the scammer never contacted him. Ever. The two bards, who are also natives of this town like us, pretty much said the same thing.”
And back to Tibbie.
“As for the handicraft maker... She was supposed to create ogre figurines as wedding gifts; but of course, that guy rejected her proposal because it would be offensive to us two.”
I react, “We don't mind ogres. There's even a famous one who has a massive following, anyway.”
Marla then suddenly says something, just as we're all almost done eating.
“Ah yes! Before I forget, we also have some tabloids that also disclose some more juicy info on the scammer. The people of this town are scared to own those tabloid copies because the tabloids' investigative reporters have been receiving death threats and are now fearing for their lives.”
She hands us three some tabloids, and we don't mind the bikini-clad women on the covers.
So... according to those tabloids, there are many more victims of Mr. Quattuorze, but their cases were being swept under the rug for various reasons.
As we browse through more tabloid pages for more info we can extract...
“HEEELLLPPPP!!!”
A man? Screaming in the early evening?
The house's front door opens, and a man is gasping for breath as he relays an SOS.
“Tiburcio! Marla! Help! My wife's been abducted! Even the constabulary can't do anything because the precinct was overwhelmed by those minions!”
Tibbie can only shake his fists as he responds...
“Only one person could do this... and it's none other than the scammer himself!”
Laika asks him, “Who's that man asking for your help?”
“He's Filio Assou. He and his wife, Gwen Anne Tuazon-Assou, were also victims of that scammer. Basically, we victims have decided to band together to sue him into oblivion.”
She states, “But then, he has hired so many bandits and other miscreants to silence you all. Am I right?”
“Indeed.”
To prove that the officers were indeed overwhelmed, the distressed husband guides us five directly to the local precinct.
Every constabulary officer on duty here in Hoobibowm is knocked out cold, and it will take a while before reinforcements arrive.
In the middle of this decrepit state, I spot a piece of paper.
I pick it up, unfold it, and...
“Everyone! Get over here!”
I show them the contents of this seemingly random piece of paper.
“A map showing the hideout? Maybe a bandit unknowingly dropped it,” Tibbie comments.
According to this crudely-drawn map, the scammer's hideout is somewhere in Lingat Plain, which is east of here!
Alright! We're all springing into action right away in the early portion of the night!
Meanwhile, the scammer has some riveting words for his soon-to-be-opponents (that's us), after a bandit has informed him that his place will soon be raided...
“Oh, those six nincompoops think they will stop me? Well, an analytical engine has way more computing power than their pea-sized brains could produce in several millennia! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!”
- Writer
