Chapter 26: You're Not Me
2388 Words
Nubes’ POV
Stop
Stop!
Stop with your fvcking excuses. It’s pissing me off!
How is the hourglass even connected?!
How does it differ, Astra? I can’t understand!
WHY ARE YOU MESSING WITH MY BRIAN!
Just like that, it’s all just like that for you, isn’t it? Throwing people who aren’t helpful and a burden to you away like we are worthless tools, that’s all you do! You didn’t really care; you never cared about how anyone felt! You’re a jerk, Astra, I always! always thought that if I...I met you. I can finally see how it is to be like you, but I don’t want to be like you anymore! A coward, a fvcking chicken Astra!
Yoru’s POV
“Before all of this happened, I had a dream, a ridiculous fvcking dream that I could not forget. There was this room so spiritedly full of life...it was so bright a flashing bright white light blinding... something I thought I would not see again and in that room was Salvy. His existence was the one that gave it life. He was the one who illuminated the darkness in that room, but then the light slowly creased little by little, withering as it started to take him away. I ran and ran as he reached his hands to me. Still, I couldn’t catch that light that was taking Salvy away from me. I couldn’t reach him. I ran...and ran…. But as the light vanished, it took Salvy away, and as the light vanished, then I was left in a dark, suffocating space. I can’t find my way out. I’m so lost I can’t breathe as I stray away and away from Salvy. There I was left hopeless kneeling on the ground, then I lay awake gasping for air sweats forming, I realized it was just a dream, but a cold air surrounded my body like there was a hole inside here.”
Astra grasp tightly at his left chest the pain visible in his eyes he, himself when you look at him is what you can describe as someone who is suffering, agonizing thoughts creeping in if only we knew,
no, we knew it all along
“a heavy feeling of like I have lost something important waking up full of agitation. It made my heart panic. It made my heart hurt not to see Salvy by my side. I quickly storm and find him in our hideout, the absurd thinking and heavy feeling of dread that makes your body feel fragile as I struggle to fight that as I look for Salvy in thought, what If I never saw him again? What if I was too late.”
“Boss, but Salvy is still here” Velo tried to reach out to Astra, reassuring him that it’s all okay and-
“NONE OF YOU REALLY GET IT DAMN IT” Astra stands up as he throws the chair vigorously.
“Salvy once risks his life for me, and I swear that time he will continue doing it for me.”
“I was so worried I knew I saw it coming, but I let him, huh?! I let him!”
“WHAT KIND OF A MAN AM I?!”
“If only this were just all a dream to me again, a terrible nightmare that I relive every night. I can handle it cause what’s new? Nothing has changed. I live nightmares every night and nightmares every day.”
“But this….this is real. It happened in real life, and it’s not just me living it.”
“If I didn’t just leave him and his family that day, this wouldn’t happen!”
“I knew I knew somebody was watching us, and I thought he was targeting me, but he saw.”
“They saw what happened, and they knew that….”
“they knew what, Astra?” I asked
“They saw it too, am I right? The truth in your eyes before it fades.”
“They saw it too, Astra.”
“They saw that Salvy meant to you that they use him to get to you.”
“Am I right, Astra?”
“Do-do you understand now?” Astra said debilitatingly
“My life is full of danger. My whole existence is a danger to Salvy!” His body was tremoring. He can barely stand as he falls to his knees, feeling defeated.
“Boss…”
“Astra, hey…”
“I’m so tired, please...just let...let me do this,” a quavering soft weakened voice, a simple phrase, but it meant a lot everyone felt that. For Astra to show his weak is different from our eyes.
I felt like from this moment on Astra, everyone in this room knew that
He is your weakness, isn’t he?
In Nubes’ POV
Ha?... someone like you? Gets tired? Bullshit, quit putting on an act, just stop! Stop it already. I really just don’t believe you ever cared, or you shouldn’t care! Why why are you being weak in front of me? Why are you putting on this act? Who are you really, Astra? Cause what I’m looking at is different from what others said from what others see, from what I see? Am I the one who’s selfish all along? Or was I jealous? was I jealous from the fact that you have someone and I don’t? Did I really expect you to be that cold-hearted, ruthless leader everyone feared? I look up to you I-I pushed everyone away too Ju-just to reach you and...and you have all this kind of people surrounding you, and you just shove them away from you?
Why
Why
why?!
“Why” I muttered
“Why?! HAHAHA! Damn it; you’re asking me why?!”
“Yes, Astra, I’m asking you why.”
“Why do I have to carry all of your burdens.”
“Isn’t it all of this enough?”
“Astra, it’s not like that.”
“Is not like that, Yoru?!”
“I’m so tired, damn it, so why can’t you all just listen.”
“I’m your boss, so why don’t you want to obey my orders!”
“No! I won’t until you tell us what your fvcking reason is!” I demanded
“My reason...My reason is not your business-!” HA! SO FAST! Astra sprinted towards me. I couldn’t even prepare myself. In that state, how? How could he still dart and pin me to the wall? He’s really the Levin they are talking about a lighting speed he’s really...really just….like a bolt
“ASTRA, STOP THAT!” Velo shouted as he neared us; he was about to pull Astra away when Astra, then turned around to dive his chest forward and ducked to dodge Velo’s punch as his leg lunged, flying, kicking Velo away...he did all of that while suppressing me to move...
“Dare to stop me, Velo,” that deep voice flows through me, electrifying my skin as I watch from behind. I don’t know what Velo saw. In Velo’s eyes were the puzzling picture of him wanting to, but he cannot. What’s stopping him? Darn it, I just have to do this for myself. I pinned myself on the wall, then boosted myself to jump and attack Astra, but he anticipated my moves as he swiftly spun under and brushed me off my feet as he quickly stood up and held my body, and slammed me down the floor.
“Huh…ha,” I saw...I saw his eyes closed a creeping unnerving feeling crawled up my body making me stiff.
“Da-damn, you jerk!”
“Scared, aren’t we? HAHAHA” Damn you, caido Astra!
Velo’s Mind
That look Astra gave me. What was that? That move didn’t pain me. He didn’t intend to hurt me clearly. He just pushed me away to refrain me from stopping him, but that look, what was it?... I never saw him like that. It’s not rage or hate; no, it’s not that it’s not the thirst or an intention to hurt Nubes; no, it wasn’t. It was a much daunting and intimidating feeling that was different from what Astra was emitting before. It’s unsettling
“Let go of me, coward!”
“AGHHH! UGH” *(Nubes coughing)* Astra pushed Nubes roughly, causing Nubes to choke
“HEY, ASTRA, STOP IT ALREADY,” I commanded as he then tilted his head to the side and looked at me with the same cold eyes.
“Hey, Nubes, Hahaha, I’m a coward?”
“I’m a coward?!”
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GET AWAY FROM ME, PSYCO!” Nubes yelped, trying to get away from Astra’s grip, visible threatened by his behavior
“Who’s a chicken now? What can you do now, Nubes?!”
“Feeling so helpless right now, aren’t we?”
“Where did that goddamn balls go?”
“Is this what you wanted? To see the real me isn’t it?!” *(Astra maniacally laughs)*
“HAHAHA, I can easily break your neck and kill you if I want to.”
“But I’m not like them.”
“Can’t you see? I’m that dangerous.”
“But I will not take advantage of those who are below me.”
“Of those who can’t fight back.”
“Of those people who are like me….”
“This is the Astra you wanted,” but this is not the Astra we know.
Nubes mind
Like you? People like you, what do you mean
Astra
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” I struggled to put a fight as his face closing to mine; his cold breathe neared my mouth as he sides his head, going to the direction of my ear whispering something
“Hey Astra, what are you doing? Stop that” Velo tries to cut Astra off
“Oh? Ha! Don’t worry about this boy. I wouldn’t do anything to him”
“If only if you were there for me too the time I needed you Velo, but you’re not, so.. leave.. me..the.. fvck.. alone.”
“Are those thoughts piling up right in your mind right now?”
“Why do I do?”
“Why can’t I move feeling so hopeless being under.”
“Do you even know that feeling or”
“Are you thinking”
“How do I move? How am I fast?” how does he know the thoughts that linger through my mind right now
“You thought I couldn’t get to you because I’m in this state, huh?”
“Have you been locked up in a room”
“With no food, no water.”
“No light”
“No, nothing, not even your self-worth because they take them away.”
“They take all of them away, not even leaving a single piece of me!”
“You don’t know whether you’re going to eat again.”
“or whether you’re going to make it out the next day or not?!”
“Astra, stop that!”
“NO! SHUT YOUR MOUTH!”
“Do you know how many people suffer the same fate I do?!”
“Just to put another one to suffer it again!”
“You dipshits!”
“So, do you still wonder how, huh?!”
“Even in an empty stomach, a weakened state, every moment was fatal, but I tried to fight, gaining every strength until the pain was just nothing to me.”
“If I wouldn’t do, I won’t survive!” Astra pulls me by my shirt and whisper to my ears
“How do you have the guts to call me a coward!” Astra was going to punch me as his eyes were seething, but he pulled his fist away. Astra pulls me by my shirt and whispers something to my ears.
“What do I mean for sure you’re thinking,” huh? The thing I’m thinking, does he know?
“Others like me, my situation and my fate”
“My life Nubes”
“I’m sure you wouldn’t know because”
“because you’re not me, Nubes.”
Chico’s POV
“Thank you; now I can put these beautiful flowers on the vase,” I stated at the janitress in front of me.
“No worries, sir, I pick a complimenting color for your flowers.”
“Hope that someone sees the flowers you’ll be giving and feel a lot better.”
“Yeah, I hope so maám he’s still not waking up, but I’m sure he’ll be cheerful to see these flowers in his room.”
“I hope so too. We only have spare vases. I’m glad I was able to find one for you,” The lady informed.
“Really? Thank you so much, maám I’m sorry to be of any trouble to you,” I apologized for the burden or disturbing her rest or work.
“No worries, young man, there was one before you who asked me for a vase.”
“I think it was for a Chrysanthemum” wait, that sounds familiar. Have I encountered that before?
I think it’s really in the tip of my tongue.
“You really are patient in picking that vase.”
“Is that for a boyfriend?” huh?! What’s with the all of sudden question
“What what? No!!” I yelled a little bit loud, my apologies maám. I continuously shook my head
“Hahaha, eh? I’m just asking. No need to be nervous.” whoo, that’s a relief
“I just wanted to ask the man before you that cause he’s earnest at picking a vase for the flower so that someone must be special.”
“So, is it for a special someone?” The lady curiously asked
“Well, you could say that because he is my friend, and I care for him.”
“Oh, excuse me for bluntly asking.”
“It’s fine, maám. I shall head off now. Thank you again for your help.”
“Anytime, kid,” The kind lady replied. I walked off and waved her goodbye.
“See you around, maám!”
“Just find me if you need help.”
“Alright, chos!”
- Writer
