Meeting you in the City

Chapter 5: You don't belong in the darkness

Astra, I’m sure you won’t be hearing what I’m thinking right now, but I want to be the one you see by your side when you wake up. I was contemplating whether or not I should head home, but I chose not to so I could be with you. If only you knew how much I’m worried about you and just as well confused as I watched you the whole night, waiting for your peaceful sleeping body to wake up. For a stranger, you are sure special for me, you were sick and wounded, and I wanted to be the one to take care of you because I could only rest when I see you okay. That’s what I reasoned with myself also. I have met and talked to your gang; they were all kind and caring for you. They all seem to adore and respect you as well. Do you know this Astra? I hope you do because it makes me feel content knowing that others care for you as well, Astra. They also let me be the one to help you when you need something. Wouldn’t it be nice to do that?

As I was contemplating, my eyes felt tired and sleepy, so I decided to move my chair near Astra’s bed and lay my head on my arm, which was on the bed, then let my body rest on the chair and later wandered off to sleep. Noises, I hear noises. What could that be, I thought as I was struggling to let myself be awake because I’m exhausted, but it keeps on repeating. It was the 9th time I heard a slight noise from my side.

“Hmm,” I once again heard a soft mumble by my side, causing me to be awake, but I did not open my eyes as I heard more murmuring from Astra. I was sure it was him as we were the only ones that were here in this room.

“Is he already awake?” I thought is he having nightmares? I wanted to open my eyes, but; his gangs tell me that sometimes Astra will mumble something in his sleep that they don’t understand; their boss doesn’t want someone watching him in his sleep. I guess I shouldn’t be here as well; I’m a moron. I know Astra, I am, but I just can’t get myself to leave your side. I wanted to protect you. I’ll try to protect you; I’ll try my hardest, Astra, so call out for me if anything is bothering you. He was scared. I could feel deep inside that he was. His hands try to hold on to the soft cloth covering his body. The grip was tightening as I could feel the sheets getting farther away from me. I wanted to wake him up, but I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable seeing him in this state. It was bothering me as the grunts were becoming to sound more like cries of someone wanting help.

“No, please… Help me, somebody, please stop.” It was unclear, but I did understand a voice so troubled and full of pain. My heart is aching just to listen to this. Were you always like this, Astra? Was it always like this? Dreams tormenting you, making it hard to breathe and sleep peacefully. Hearing you cry is torture for me. I’m here, Astra. You’re not alone. You make it sound like you fear nobody. I have read it all along, but I don’t know anything about you at all; your eyes told me to leave you alone when we first met, but I didn’t cause I don’t want to. The coldness in your eyes and heart makes it feel real, but this tells me otherwise; Astra, I know you are strong, but you sound so vulnerable right now.

“PLEASE STOP,” you shouted in fear as you continued to cry and beg for help. It’s torturing me, Astra. Please wake up; I’m here. You’re not alone. Please wake up already because I can’t take this anymore I can’t just close my eyes no more, so you have to wake up, Astra!

“STOPPPPPPPPP!!”

“HA... HAAAA…” he suddenly sits up, panting loudly and shaking. I was close to him, so I could also feel his body trembling before me. I don’t know what to do in a situation like this. I wanted to hug him tight and tell him that everything would be okay, that I’m here and he doesn’t need to worry, but I can’t. I don’t want him to know that I heard everything. He was still catching his breath as he moved his self near me. I was glad that I didn’t get to see his face. It will only hurt me but will hurt him the most we are not yet that close to asking him to open something up to me that brings him agony; for him, it will be insufferable. I wanted to ask. I wanted to know. Many questions are wandering around in my mind right now that leaves me disoriented I wanted to know what causes you pain, Astra.

“Salvy,” a soft, vulnerable voice called to me. I did not budge or even try to open my eyes. I continued to act that I was asleep. What else should I do? I can’t let him know I’m awake. What should I do?

Astra’s POV

I wake up sweating and trembling from a dream that never lets me sleep at night every day; it hunts me. I could never run away from the past that caused me this much agony. I just want this to end. My heart is still throbbing. It hurts; it hurts so much. I was still trying to catch my breath, putting my hands in my head as it was aching, aching to remember such traumatizing events in the past, events I tried so hard to forget but failed to. It’s like a cage confining me from a crime I didn’t do. I could never escape justice will never be served for us who lives in this damned living hell. I’m losing it; my body is going numb my heart is going to burst. I can’t do this anymore. Then I noticed someone beside me; Salvy’s head was lying on my bed as his body was resting on a wooden chair. It looks uncomfortable, I thought, but it also struck me that he didn’t leave me to go home. He stayed with me the whole night. It made me calm down but could it be that he heard? It did not concern me to think that he already knew. I don’t know the reason, but I feel safe around him. I closed my eyes, but it swiftly caused me to tremor, sending shivers to my spine chilling memories; just drop it! Why wouldn’t you stop hunting me?! I’m so tired. I wanted all of this to end. Please just end now, please, please just stop. I can’t breathe. My heart is tightening again. I’m so scared, Salvy, Salvy, I’m afraid I don’t want you to see me like this. You can’t see me like this. His head moves to face my direction, still sleeping.

“Salvy?” I called, but he was sleeping soundly, and I didn’t want to wake him up. I waited a minute for an answer making sure that he was asleep before I could talk again. The sight of him by my side makes me able to breathe. I let my finger slip through his golden hair. It was soft and smooth it made me calm down and think straight.

“Hey Salvy, Thank you uhm for staying with me all night. I know I’m a fool; I should have thanked you when you’re already awake*sigh*, but I can’t help myself to utter those words to you. If only I had every courage to thank people, I would always say this to you, Salvy.”

“People will take advantage of you and your weakness. I never wanted to be weak again, so I tried to hide my feelings. Be cold and heartless; that’s the only way I can think of to run away from the never-ending suffering but look where it leads me; I thought that if I become strong, it will all go away, but life just keeps bringing me pain that I become numb that it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“My life is hard, thanking people never existed in my world, Salvy, everything comes with a price. Everything did. I lost everything on my way people in my life always want something in return; at least you come through. I’m glad you did, and thank you.”

“You know...I have nothing to lose now, but I’m still afraid; I’m still alone, Salvy,” I uttered, taking a deep breath before I got up on my bed and put my blanket over Salvy as I walked towards my door to leave.

“You’re not alone, Astra.” I flinched in surprise that Salvy was awake. Did he hear everything? It’s not that I mind, but I was happy that he was and could listen to what I wanted to say to him.

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”

“You got us the gang.”

“You got me. I’ll never leave, Astra,” he stated as his back was still facing my directions. His words got my world to stop suddenly. I was lucky that he was not looking in my way. I can’t help but smile as a drop of tear escapes my eye.

“Am I crying? How do you easily just do this to me? How can I just be real with myself when I’m around you, Salvy.”

“How could you just erase the pain away” my body shaking, my knees weak emotion is falling me right now I’m in chaos. I have never felt like this for a long time. I’m happy you came, Salvy. Where have you been all this time?

In the Meeting table of Astra’s hideout

“Hey, boss, are you alright now,” the gray-haired boy asks. It was Chico; if you might as well think, Chico is a gang member and looks intimidating on the outside, but he is like a very thoughtful kid.

“Yes, Chico, I’m fine now, thank you,” I replied, smiling at him, and the other boy gasped.

“ARE YOU REALLY SMILING IN THE MORNING, BOSS?” HE ASKED WITH DISBELIEF

“HEY, DON’T SHOUT IT HURTS MY EAR, YOU DINGDONG,” Chico replied, banging on the head of the latter as he was holding his ear.

“I’M NOT SHOUTING YOU ARE YOU PIECE OF SH*T,” and this is Velo, a big guy with a big body. Everyone who sees him runs or gets scared. His looks are scary, but in real life his a big soft guy, almost like a teddy bear. And together with his duo, Chico, the team calls them *sigh* the dumbasses, but I don’t regret having them as my boys. You can always count on them. They are maybe morons and childish, but they are not afraid to fight for the one they adore.

“HEY HEY HEY! CUT IT, YOU TWO. I’M TIRED OF YOU BOTH,” The man with blue dyed hair said as his face was infuriated and nose scrunched up. This site is what I see all day. This bunch of idiots I just facepalmed myself. The blue-haired boy holds his fist up, showing it to the two boys, indicating hitting them.

“ NO, PLEASE YORU DON’T HIT US. WE WERE JUST PLAYING SEE” Velo grabs Chico and pulls him into a tight hug *sighs* as Chico was suffocating. These idiots seem to have a lot of energy in the morning. How could they even do that

“DON’T BE SO LOUD. YOU KNOW SALVY IS STILL SLEEPING HE’S UP ALL NIGHT, YOU TWERPS!” and this is Yoru, my best friend in everything I can count on him.

“Oh yeah, hey, boss, is Salvy going to stay here with us now,” Chico asked as his face was thrilled to know my answer.

“He is kind and funny, and I can’t point it out, but I’m full of joy when we were talking to him. He kinda seems like the” Chico said as his eyes were sparkling, maybe being interested in making a new friend.

“Bright like the sun” Velo finishes his sentence and smiled

“Yeh, Like the sun,” Chico repeated excitingly, knowing the answer, I don’t think you know Salvy, but I don’t think I’m the only one who could see the light you bring to our world; the light that is so bright it gives you hope and joy you are indeed a sun, you don’t belong in this darkness.