Meeting you in the City

Chapter 14: Lost

Yoru’s POV

I woke up at the hospital with a nurse checking something beside me

“Oh sir, you’re awake. I’m just going to call your friends outside.”

“Ah..this is not a dream?”

“What no, sir, it’s not. I’ll be right back with you friends, sir.”

“Ah...okay, thank you” she smiled at me and left.

I thought I was going to die—what a relief. I suddenly thought about Astra and Salvy. Are they okay? I hope they are. I hope they are safe. It got me thinking, what if Astra didn’t come back and just saved Salvy? What if he didn’t look back? Was I still going to live? Was that really the way I wanted things to end. I waited for them to come as the door slid open, and I smiled at the sight that they were fine and safely got out of Muerte’s mansion. Muerte must have been poorly injured for Astra to be here. He knows that that old man will just track him down.

“Yoru!!” Chico ran to me and hugged me, squeezing my body.

“I-IDI..”

“I thought we’d lose you, Yoru.” he cried as he was still hugging me, squeezing me tightly, his runny nose snuffling at my hospital gown Chico. You’re so gross.

“Hey, stop that, you i***t. My shot still hurts, and get your runny snout away from me.” I demanded him to get away from me, but he hugged me tightly

“OH! YORU, YOU ARE REALLY BACK TO US” okay, okay, I’m going to admit I thought I lost myself too. I miss you as well, Chico.

“YES, I AM, AND YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S GOING TO KILL ME, SO GET AWAY FROM ME, U DUMBASS!” I shouted as I squirmed, trying to get away from Chico’s hug, but he already pulled away from me. That’s nice. I can breathe again.

“I’m glad you’re alive, Yoru,” Astra said, but there was something odd it does not look like he’s really that glad, but It's great to see him here. I wanted to say thank you.

“How about Salvy then? Is he safe” I asked him, but he turned his gaze away from me. That’s not the reaction I was expecting. He made it out alive, and I’m sure that Salvy is okay too cause he won’t let him get hurt; Astra wouldn’t leave Salvy alone, but why does he seem troubled more than before.

“A-ah yes, Salvy is now safe, boss,” Chico hesitantly answered, also bothered at his boss’s actions, and I looked at him. I was worried about what could have been troubling him.

“Astra...?” I called and signaled Chico to leave the room as he understood and head off to go out.

“I’ll go ahead, boss. I’m just going to check on Velo,” he said and left the two of us alone.

“Astra, what’s bothering you?” I asked, but again I got the silent treatment

“Astra, tell me” he didn’t bother to speak again, and I’m getting pissed off.

“Astra, don’t you just ignored me.”

“It’s nothing, Yoru. Get some rest,” he said as he was attempting to walk out of the room.

“You always leave me behind, Astra.” he looked at me with a pitiful look

“Don’t you look at me like that! I know that I tried...tried my best to catch with you.”

“But It’s not just about you... I’m worried about Salvy too!”

“But why can’t you answer me, ha Astra!”

“What happened to him? Was he hurt? I just want to know to answer me please.” he still did not answer me nor look me in the eyes.

“You jerk!”

“You’re the biggest jerk I knew, Astra!” He continues to ignore me

“I almost died! I thought I was going to, but you save me.”

“That time, all I think about was you. I didn’t even have doubts I accepted my fate.”

“But now I wondered what have I been doing all this time.”

“What have I ever did with my life.”

“I can’t be true to my feelings. I can’t even put up with this hell!”

“And I keep following the biggest jerk who does not even care about me at all!” but he remained emotionless. He disregarded all the things I said like none of my words even entered him. I was nothing he cared about. I’m just a nobody to him, isn’t it? He won’t care if I leave or die. He’s not even happy that I’m alive.

“WHY, YOU JERK!” I scrammed from my bed and jumped at Astra as I attacked him.

“You Jerk, I’ll knock you out until I put some sense in your head!” I pulled him by his t-shirt as I shook him, demanding him to answer.

“You cold, heartless piece of s**t,” I teared up as the extreme feelings of frustration overwhelmed me bursting as I punched Astra, but he still won’t say anything. He didn’t even try to fight me back nor defend himself.

“You thought you’re so high and Mighty that you just don’t care about anyone!”

“I ALWAYS ADMIRED YOU, ASTRA!”

“My whole life, I dedicated to you!”

“But you don’t even give any single piece of care, you asshole.”

“Not even my word penetrate to you, Astra.” My teary eyes were closed all this time as I didn’t want to see his useless reaction. No matter what I do, I won’t get to him. I couldn’t even get to him what more of my words I was sobbing, gripping tightly to Astra’s shirt. I can’t take it anymore!

“I...thought I almost lost you both” I looked at him while tears were still dripping from my eyes. It was not the blank, emotionless eyes that I looked at before or what I was expecting. His eyes were full of emotions, guilt, confusion, and a lot of pain. The pain and fear that he has been hiding all this time showed before my eyes.

“I- it’s not true that your words didn’t even enter my mind.”

“Your words pierce through me. It aches Yoru….” he held my arms tightly as he was shaking. My thoughts went blank as I looked at Astra, trembling while having difficulty speaking and breathing. I have never seen him so vulnerable.

“Yo-o-ru, I thought I waa..ss too late.” he was shaking so much like he was going to break anytime.

“I-i I was slow. I couldn’t save you both in time.”

“It’s all my fault, all my fault,” Astra said as he was losing himself again; his eyes looked so tormented he couldn’t think straight his body was still trembling nonstop.

“Astra…?”

“Yo..ru, I’m so lost… ah! Arghhh” He continued to weep as he was self-destructing. I never knew how much we meant to him. I wanted all this pain to go. I always wanted but couldn’t do anything. I hold Astra close to me as his shivering gradually lessens, calming down, and stops. Was this the reason I lived? Was it to still be by your side Astra to be your partner, or genuinely understand you all these years I have not bothered to do. Was I that clueless and selfish of how you feel that all I think was myself’s pain? I didn’t mean to say those words, Astra. I just want you to tell me how you feel all this time you haven’t told me, but after what happened I wanted to know I wanted to see if you really cared, and I got my answer, but in return, it left you to agonize what has deeply hurt you, Astra, why can’t I know.

“Yoru, I’m so lost,” He said as he was now back to his senses. His eyes are so tired, endlessly thinking and dealing with pain.

“Haha, isn’t this deja vu Yoru”

“What about this?” he points at the bruise in my eyes and face

“I can’t remember.”

“Look what you’ve done to my face.” he points at his

“Just like before Yoru, before all of this happened, you ask me….”

“You ask me what’s troubling me.”

“You tell me to leave Salvy alone, but I can’t like you earlier. I tried to knock some sense to you.”

“We fight. I punched you, and you didn’t even fight back.”

“I didn’t know at that time that it was a test.”

“Don’t you think we have a violent way of knocking some sense into each other” I chuckled at his comment, remembering what happened before? He was so determined at that time. I just wanted to see him happy. He already fought for Salvy, and that’s all I needed to see and know

“And you really like getting in fights with your boss.” I laughed

“Ah hehe, that Astra, you don’t hold grudges against me, right?”

“You moron, of course, I don’t.”

“Remember what we talked about before.”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe. I should let this be” I became curious at what Astra was talking about. It’s something like it hurt him to do. The deep longing in his eyes and pain, what was it all about?

“Yoru, I decided not to fight for Salvy anymore” wha-at ju-just what are you talking about? This can’t be serious, right Astra?

“You’re jo-joking, right Astra?” I ask reluctantly. There may be some misunderstanding here; I don’t get it. What is he talking about

“I’m going to let Salvy go, Yoru.”

“If I let this progress any further.”

"it will just hurt the both of us"

“You’re right. I’m not worth it for Salvy; I’ll just hurt him.”

“I’m a threat to his life and family.”

“I’ll bring Salvy back to his family and will never see him again” Astra, no, you can’t do this. You’re just tired, right.

“A-Astra, you’re just not thinking straight.”

“It all settled. I’m not going to be involved in Salvy’s life ever again.”

“WHY YOU LITTLE PIECE OF s**t” I was coming at him again to throw a fist but

“Yoru...it’s better this way. I would not hurt Salvy anymore.”

“I would not lose anything anymore.” but I slammed him against the floor instead.

“Why you’re a jerk.”

“After everything, Salvy has done for you, after everything you two go through, you’re just going to throw him away like that”

“Do you think it will be that easy, ha Astra”

“He’ll forget about me eventually. Yoru, he could have a peaceful life.”

“That’s what you want but what about him, Astra.”

“Do you really think he could forget you”

“Do you even want him to forget you!” a shocking reaction form in his eyes as it glared at me and became furious. He pushed me away on top of him and stood up.

“Walk away. That’s what you do best.”

“You’re a coward, Astra!” I stated as my wound sting, it hurts

“Ah..ouch”

“I already thought about this, Yoru.”

“It’s my decision. I just wanted you to know.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“Get some rest now,” he lastly said as he left through the door

“Sa-Salvy…”