My Unique Love

Sacred Love // 43 2/2

SACRED LOVE : 43 2/2

Laying there, my hands were intertwined with Liwei's. My eyes blinked within closer he snuggled in the crook of my neck. Feeling his hands adjusting under my head, I didn't realize when the tears started to stream down my cheeks. Turning around, slow enough to not wake him up, I looked into his eyes before I had looked at my hands. Wrist's locked with a belt, I smiled, staring at the bruises they did to my skin. It's been already morning, with no sleep, I was taken by him again. when it all started, I wasn't that close. Close enough to lay on his bed, in his bedroom, in his arms till the morning wake him up. Fear used to prevent me from knowing the reality that this won't be changed. Even if I am able to find someone better in my life, I will still be found by him and will..still be his in the end. It sounds like I'm in a movie. Chuckle. A movie that has no end. 

Getting up, I felt him turning away as I looked over my shoulder, at him. As I pulled blankets, my body was covered while my feet took me into the bathroom. Closing the door, my eyes fell upon the mirror. Finding my own eyes looking through me, my eyes have not watered anymore. Removing the blanket around, my eyes trailed up my shoulders. All the hickeys looked like bruises. I can't get rid of it so easily. As I walked towards the shower, my hands pushed back my hair strands. With almost hair that touches my neck, my scars had highlighted my skin which is not something I could caress. Pulling the tap with my fingers, I realised how shiverful they have turned. Looking at them, I had no second to think when the cold water started to run down my body. Feeling my eyes gazing at the wall, my watered eyes were surprised when the back of mine had stuck to the wall. Collapsing down, my hands covered my face. A quiet sob left my mouth as soon as the memories flooded back. 

I still remember, 

Third of December

It wasn't third but.. I felt it, standing there, watching someone gaze at someone with so much, it didn't even give me a second to realise. The rain poured hard as I watched his lips meet hers. What a sight for sore eyes. Indeed it was. It's as if they were the soulmates who had their love secured. Deeper down, I didn't know why that started to wreck my heart apart. Watching him pull her closer, my eyes blinked within the umbrella I held.  A giggle of her had my hands tremble behind while they held the flowers that were already draining the cold rain that watered them. Pretty hard it was, to fall in love. Especially when he was the only one who talked with me, in this whole school? I always wondered why, I still do. Why?, Why'd you spend up my heart beat, Bai? Why? You're not like me, I wasn't like you. You still make me smile whenever you talk. As she walks by, I watch you mesmerize her. It was as if you found what you were missing. It was as if you never noticed what I felt. It was as if you never had kissed me. 

While the rain poured harder than the moment I had my heart rip apart, I ran to the house. It wasn't a house I could call mine. Not mine, Mr. Xandro's. The man who got my mom pregnant again, one year ago. The man who had killed one and only happiness in the house. The man who is ruthless, abusive. 

 Stepping inside, I could hear. The loud screams, sobs of my mom and the bangs that indicated the evening he was enjoying. Closing her ears, her head against the door of her room while she screamed in pain. Tears Welled up in my eyes as soon as I stepped in. Heartbeat speeding up, my hands trembled to reach her but then again, she was my mom. Reaching her within throwing my bag aside, I had her head against my chest, crying hard over her husband's groans across the room. As my teary eyes narrowed, they glared through the doors of his room. "A-alexandro! Take me a-away, please!" My body froze. "A-alex-" as her eyes fell upon my wrist, her eyes hardened. Sobs didn't echo before I was pushed away. "You! Die! Go die!" As tears streamed down my cheeks, the belt she pulled out from the bed didn't terrify me either. Wasn't it something I always had to go through? Eyes closing, my hands hid the head of mine before the slap echoed. If it was for you, I'll take all of it mom.

 I'll take all of it. 

Sitting there with my shirt ripped apart, I still could hear my mom's sobs. A chuckle, my bruised palms were looked so pale. Looking at my hands, I could feel the pain through it. Looking at the mirror, my eyes gaped at my figure. Not a man, I was. I looked as if I was about to faint. That had me laughing instead of the tears I used to shed. Head against my door, I looked over at the ceiling. It's hard to believe but.. 

You told me Alex,

Pain brings peace within. 

And I'll always take it. 

Within the sobs that started to lower, I felt the door opening.

"Thanks for the nice treat" 

Hearing his words, my blood boiled in pain within my hand balling into a fist I could not give him in the face. As I raised my body, my body froze and the shivering tone of hers had my eyes tear up. 

"W...what a...about...t...the-" 

Dao? 

Opening the door, my heart beated fast as I ran downstairs. My feet stopped when my knees had lost the control I had. 

Falling on my knees, I watch her stand there. Pulling her jacket around her body even though she wore the uniform, my hand gripped the rail of the stairs tight. My teeth gritted within the tears that streamed down my cheeks in the anger and pain that started to ache my heart. 

"Don't worry.. I'll give you a good rating" his slurry laugh had my body tremble with anger I felt. Eyes not even glancing at me, I already knew she knew I was standing there while I watched the tears that escaped her eyes. Looking away, her back turned. As her hands weakenly pulled up her bag against her chest, my heart wretched into parts. Eyes softening in the pain that started to spread in my nerves, I punched the floor. 

His cold chuckle while his eyes gazed at my mom, "ha! What a waste, she was better in bed but you didn't let me hear her voice" 

This bastard!