Younger

Six

Hindi pa man tuluyang nakakapasok ang aming sasakyan sa loob ng bahay ay natataranta na si Kulot. Tila alam na niyang ako ang nasa loob ng suv na ito. Well, ofcourse my father will tell it to them.

She opened the car's door for me. She greeted me with a wide smile. Oo nga't sinabi ni Papa ang napaagang pagdating ko ngunit hindi ang dahilan nito. Pribado na iyon. My father's too keen to tell even to his most trusted maids.

"Kamusta ho ang byahe?"

"Ayos lang." I don't want to be asked again so I fasten my strodes.

"Ma'am, ako na ho ang magdadala ng mga iyan." Kinuha niya sa akin ang aking backpack.

"Sina Estian? Natutulog na ba?"

"Ah! Opo! Tanong nga po ng tanong, e... kailan daw po ang balik niyo."

"Si Justin?"

She pressed her lips. Oh, I know what this means.

"Hindi pa natutulog?" I checked my wrist watch. "9:30 na."

Naalala ko bigla iyong live filming nila sa social media. Suminghap ako nang may mapagtanto. Hinawakan ko ang doorknob at pwersahan itong binuksan. Wala ng katok-katok.

Xander saw me first. He immediately stood up. Domino effect. The other two... I mean let's add Diane on the picture. They all three stood up. Justin looked constipated when he saw me. Diane waved at me... little did she know, I don't look happy. While the good boy, Clark, caught him sliding his phone in his pants' pocket.

Umigting ang aking panga at bumaling sa hagdan. If he wants to text his girlfriend all night, bakit pa siya narito? Stupid.

"I thought you'll be back tomorrow?"

Bumaling ako kay Kulot. "Bring that to my room." Tinuro ko iyong bag ko. "And Justin, what ever you do here, please... let me sleep. I am tired and I want my bed."

"You okay?"

"I am." Umapak na ako sa unang baitang ng aming hagdanan tsaka ko nilingong muli ang mga ito. "And one more thing. Make sure Diane will sleep on the other room."

"Ate!" My brother huffed.

"What? Hindi magandang tignan na magkatabi kayo. Unless- "

"Ofcourse not!" Depensa niya.

Clark sneered. He tried to hide it. No, he's acting like he's trying to hide it!

"So just do what I say or you're- "

"Fine!"

Umirap ako sa aking kapatid at nagpatuloy sa aking tungo. Nang pumasok ako sa aking kwarto ay nakita kong naroon pa pala si Kulot sa loob at inaayos ang aking unan at kobre kama. She sprayed my favorite lavander scent on my pillow that I always do before going to bed. Sinara ko ang pinto sa aking likuran kaya't natigil siya sa ginagawa.

"Ma'am Jehyla, hinanda ko na rin ho ang paligo ninyo."

Oh... ang plano ko sana ay matulog agad. Pero dahil nariyan na rin at nag-abala pang ihanda ang aking paligo ay wala na rin akong nagawa. She really is my favorite maid. She knows what I like and what I always do. Kung meron man akong dadalhing katulong sa ibang lugar ay si Kulot iyon.

I dipped my feet's thumb finger on the warm milk in the tub with purple flowers floating on it. Nakakapanghalina ang amoy na nanggagaling roon nang tuluyan ko ng nilublob ang aking hubad na katawan sa loob.

Hinuli ko ang lumulutang na bulaklak at pinaglaruan iyon. Naisipan ko ring gamit ang pailalim na hugis nito na parang mangkok ay sinalok ko ang gatas at binuhos sa aking dibdib. Hindi naman malamig at hindi rin ganoon kainit, sa katunayan ay tamang tama lamang ang temperatura nito sa aking balat.

I enjoy bubble bath but milk bath is not bad. Actually, it's relaxing. Maybe Kulot learned this from my Mother who she serves as well.

Noong una ay ayaw ko talagang maligo sa ganito dahil pakiramdam ko ang lagkit-lagkit sa katawan. Pero ngayon at nasubukan ko na, siguro ay uulitin ko itong muli. Anyway, magbabanlaw naman ako.

"Hmm, hmm." I was humming like this was a music video while I was washing off the milk off my body from the shower.

Nilalamig na rin ako kaya hindi na ako nagtagal. Sinuot ko ang aking roba at tinungo ang aking walk-in closet. Cotton shorts and thin shirt looked comfortable and what I feel to wear tonight so I did.

Nagpapatuyo na ako ng aking buhok sa harap ng tukador nang makarinig ako ng mga pigil na pagtatalo. Huminto ako sa aking ginagawa, giving my all attention to the small voices just infront or a liitle distant from my door.

"Hiwalay agad? Can we talk this out first?"

I got curious when I realized it was Diane's voice.

"We're already talking. And I want breakup. You see... I don't need you anymore."

Tumaas ang aking kilay at dahan-dahang tumayo. My brother and his girlfriend's talking about breakup? For real?

Hindi naman sa iniisip kong aabot sila sa matagal na relasyon. They're still young. And my brother? He doesn't look like a person who's sport is a serious relationship. But I do not expect my brother to be this actually lazy when he's dumping a girl.

"That was just one mistake, Justin. Can you just forgive me and act like this didn't happen? Para namang ikaw, ang linis-linis mo!"

I am seriously invading privacy. That's fine anyway. They won't know if I shut up.

"Kaya nga para tumigil ka na sa kadadahilan mo'ng iyan, maghiwalay nalang tayo. You can't expect me to be loyal when I know you're snaking my bestfriend behind my back."

"Come on, Justin... I'm sorry!" Tunog iritado na si Diane.

"Ba't ka ba nagsosorry? Pinapakawalan na nga kita para malaya mo nag magagawa ang gusto mo dahil 'yon naman ang gusto mo, 'di ba?"

"Don't you love me?"

Ang unang impresyon ko kay Diane ay isang tahimik at mahinhing babae. I never imagined she'll sound so desperate as this.

Hindi ko mahinuha ang mukha niya ngayon. But she sounds like she's about burst out in tears.

"Ihahatid na kita sa inyo."

"No! Ganiyan ka ba kagalit sa akin kaya paaalisin mo na din ako dito? Isusumbong kita kay ate Jehyla! I know she likes me for you! I know she wants me to be with you forever! Magagalit siya sa'yo! She'll... she'll chose me over you!"

Bitch, what?

Binuksan ko ang pinto. Handa na akong sawayin sila dahil masyado nang nakakawindang ang pagiging hysterical ni Diane ngunit naunahan na ako ni Justin dahil ang naabutan ko na lamang ay hinihila na niya ito sa kamay pababa ng hagdan.

From the far part of our living room, I saw Clark standing there. I can only see his silhouette but I am so sure it is him. He stepped out of the shadow and walked away.

He looks like his way's on the pool side. I followed him and grabbed his arms. And that made him stop. Namumungay ang kaniyang mga mata nang magkasalubong aming paningin.

"What was that?" I asked accusingly. "I heared they broke up because of you?"

He mockingly laughed at me. "You really like eavesdropping, huh?" He looked at my hand holding his arms. Parang napaso ang aking balat nang mapatingin siya roon. Mabilis ko namang inalis ang aking pagkakahawak sa kaniya.

Tumayo ako ng matuwid at kunwaring pinagpag ang aking kamay sa aking shorts. I cleared my throat and he smirked once more. He made a conceited stance and it made me more concious.

Sumandal siya sa sliding glass door and looked at me like I am somekind of Alien or a strange person from a foreign land and that, he's really observing me. And if I am not mistaken, he's brushing his all sight from my head to toe!

"Stop that!" Iritado kong sabi.

"What? I didn't do anything..." Panunuya niya.

"Diane was out. Might as well you should get out too!"

Since then, I'm so obsessed of getting rid of him. Pagkakataon nalang siguro ngayon.

"Excuse lang iyon ni Justin para magkahiwalay na sila ni Diane. Nagkataon lang na guilty si Diane kaya..." He shrugged.

"Don't poison my head. I know what I heared. Wa'g ka nang magkaila pa. Ikaw ang rason ng paghihiwalay ng dalawang iyon."

"Why are you so concern of their breakup?"

"My concern is my brother. It's so unfair na pinagkakaisahan niyo siya! He's hurt."

He chuckled. "He'll never be hurt. Girls he date do."

"No." Matigas kong sabi. "My brother sacrified his relationship with Diane to save his goddamn friendship with you. Aren't you guilty?"

"So what are you tryin' to point out?" He shifted his position. His arms still locked on his chest but he stood up straight and I got alarmed when he once stepped.

"You must sacrifice for him too." I managed to say dispite the tumbling beat on my chest. "Kung hindi mo iyon kaya... madamot ka."

Nag-ugat ang aking mga paa sa aking kinatatayuan nang bigla nalamang itong humakbang papalapit sa akin. His bare feet touched the edge of mine. I literally felt the chill feeling when his cold yes bore into my chest then to my eyes.

I looked at my chest too. Nanalaki ang aking mga mata at tinakpan iyon gamit ang aking dalawang palad. He... he f*****g saw my n****e protruding from my shirt!

I'm not wearing bra. I don't wear it when I'm about to sleep. Well I'm about to! Nagkataon lang na nakalimutan ko lang isuot ulit nang pababa na ako...

This perverted kid! Talagang sinulyapan pa niya ako doon! What an obscene manner he has!

"Get off me!" I grimaced.

"I'm not touching you yet." He grinned.

"Get out Clark. Get out! I want you out of my sight!"

"Why do you hate me?" He made a quick move pinning me to the wall. His other hand's on the back of my head, preventing me from getting bumped into the hard cold wall. "You want me to dump a girl infront of your brother?"

I made face. "Hindi ko sinasabi na sa ganiyang paraan. Pero kahit na, alam ko namang hindi mo gagawin. Madamot ka nga kasi 'di ba? 'Di ba? 'Di- "

He shook my shoulders. Nawala ang mapanuya kong tingin at natahimik. His eyes were bloodshot and that makes him look dangerous. Napalunok ako ng makita ko ang kaniyang pagtiim-bagang.

"Gusto mo kahit ngayon pa, Jehyla?"

"Na ano?"

"Iyong sinasabi mo."

"Hindi mo nga magagawa." Agap ko.

"Magagawa ko. Kaya nga tinatanong ko kung gusto mo ba?"

"Na ano nga?!" Iritado kong sabi.

"Ang hina mo," Marahan niyang dinuro iyong noo ko. "Hindi ko pa nga sinasabi nagagalit ka na." Hinawakan niya iyong magkabila kong braso. Marahan niya akong pinapakalma sa pamamagitan ng magaang na pahimas-himas roon.

"Ikaw, inuuto mo nanaman ako. Parang noong doon lang sa library. Hinalikan kita kasi sabi mo nagpapaturo ka, tapos ngayon naman iniiba mo ang usapan para hindi kita ma-topic kay Diane!"

"'Di ah," tumawa siya.

"Ang landi mo." Tinulak ko siya at nagpatulak naman siya dahil tawang-tawa siya. Hindi ko lang alam kung dahil ba sa akin o dahil sa sinabi ko.

"Hindi na kaya."

"Puro ka hindi."

"Totoo naman kasi..."

"You hate those kind of men?"

"'Yong malandi? Syempre oo."

"You brokeup with your ex because he's like that?"

I shook my head. "Hindi naman niya ako niloko... o hindi ko naman nahuli. Basta nagkahiwalay lang kami sa ibang rason. Unang pag-aaway namin iyon but I decided to give up."

Why suddenly the mood went melo? Hindi naman na ako apektado sa ex ko dahil hindi naman na kami nagkikita sa school. I don't know if he decided to avoid me already or nagkakataon lang na hindi kami nagkakasalubong sa daan.

"You did the cut?"

I nodded.

"Why?"

"I fell out of love."

He didn't respond so I glanced at him and he just glanced back at me. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at tumingin na lamang sa ibang bagay. The moon's light's hitting the pool so I think it's a good subject.

"That easy?"

Ilusyon ko lamang siguro iyong narinig kong pag-aalangan sa kaniyang tinig.

"Yes."

"You're very dangerous to fall for."

"We're not for life time."

"Naghahanap ka pa ba?"

"Hindi. Naghihintay nalang ako. Ayaw kong ako naman ang lalapit. Gusto ko iyong kusa namang dumarating. Iyong mahal na mahal na agad ako. 'Yong hindi ako iiwan. 'Yong ako lang talaga ang babae sa paningin niya. Gusto ko iyong lalaking nakikita niya sa'kin iyong hinaharap niya at takot na iwan ko siya. Gusto kong ako at ako lang talaga at hinding-hindi ako sasaktan."

"Unreachable standards."

"Syempre para sa'yo." Umirap ako.

"I'm not the man you used to think I am."

"Sige nga? May maipagmamalaki ka ba? Kapag ba nagka-girlfriend ka ng may taning na, siguro iiwan mo agad e. Matingin ko lang sa'yo, mukhang ayaw mo ng may responsibilidad sa buhay."

"I will stay with her and I will be brave." Napatingin ako sa kaniya. "I will stay with her and I will be brave." Ulit niya.

His answer sent shivers down my spine.

"Why?"

"Because that's how my life run once I chose her."

He's so young but he talks like an old man who just experienced love and heartache.

"But my real plan is this... When the time is right I will marry the girl I like."

Napatitig ako sa seryoso niyang mukha. He's not looking so I'm free to examine his angelic face. But sooner when he grew up, his muscles in his face would be defined and girls will crazy over him over and over again.

"After I graduate we can have our own children. I'll marry her again when I reached in a beach themed wedding. We'll have five lovely childrens running around our house I bought for them. And we'll have our family bond everyday. I will love them, their mother and our life."

I have no idea why he's saying that to me.

"When we reached 50, I will still take care of her. I will hand her the remote if she can't reach it herself anymore. I'll carry her if he can't walk properly. I'll tell her chessy things to make her smile. I will change her undies if it's difficult for her to do. I will never unfold my hand to her in times of heartache. If she cry, I'll hug her. If he loses hope, I'll encourage her. I will stay faithful 'til I die. And I will never be ashamed walking on the streets with her, I don't care about other's Judgements when I'm inlove."

Nanikip ang aking dibdib. Napahawak ako roon. Why does this beats this fast? Heart attack? Oh, no. Maybe I was just moved by what he says.

I shifted my position from my bed and closed my eyes. By the time, makakahanap rin ako ng lalaking ganoon. I will strive to find him 'til we met and promised forever to each other. And I will give Clark credits for inspiring me to find the man I meant to be with for the rest of my life.