An Interview with Mr. Ex

Chapter 14: When We First Kissed

Chapter 14: When We First Kissed

(Flashback - three days after Jared returned the fifty ¢ in the form of a kiss)



Jade couldn't stop thinking about the kiss on the back of her still tingling hand, but the bigger problem was that she couldn't stop thinking about what Megan had said about the first kiss and paying for it.

"You are thinking about it, aren't you?" Megan asked as she took a seat next to her. It was the fundamentals of journalism class by professor Marie McKey, and Jade had loved how she always mixed her own point of view with real life experiences.

"I am not thinking about it. You are the one who keeps thinking about it, Meg. If you need to satiate your curiosity, you should just go and do it." Jade said with a flippant smile. Megan, who had been staring at her book in a drowsy haze perked up.

"Just a week ago, you only said yes or no, and now you are making fun of me. My baby chick has grown into a hen."

"I don't know. I just feel like-"

"You have known me for years rather than just days, right? I do feel the same. That is why I decided you would become my best friend." Meg said seriously, as if everything she had just said made absolute sense.

Jade loved the peculiarity that was Megan. Her friendship was like a breath of fresh air inside the ever closed windows of her life.

"Hi, today we are going to steer off your textbook for a while and talk about something interesting." Professor McKey said.

"So, journalists come in different types, they do different jobs. Mostly everyone wants to avoid journalists, while everyone also wants to know the gossips, know what is going on around them. We are living in a place where journalism has diverted into something perverse. Now, who is going to tell me what is it you actually consider as journalism? Is it the tabloid news about who is cheating on who, or dating who, or is this about something that can actually bring a change in society, a real change?"

Megan bumped her shoulders, motioning her to talk. No, Jade shook her head. She was still afraid to willingly to talk, especially in front of the crowd.

"Looks like you have something to say, Ms. Thompson." Professor Marie said and Jade sighed, cursing Megan inside her head as she wiped her palms on her jeans..

"I can say, journalism is all about real change. It is not invasive and it doesn't break anyone else's rights. Different people buy papers, watch news for different reasons. But I still believe, as a journalist, we all have certain moral obligations. I believe that real journalism is all about making an impact, bringing about a wider change. I don't believe that stalking a celebrity and her personal life is real journalism, but I do believe sharing her story about how she overcame harassment in the workplace, how she stood against misogyny, that inspiration can be real journalism."

"It is all about views, isn't it?" Professor Marie nodded her head.

"Yes, it is. It is about what we consider as real change. And about personal perspective. There is only a thin line between a cheap tabloid and real journalism."

"Good point. Good journalism is all about finding that point where fun and fact meet, where truth can coexist with changes." Professor McKey said.

"You did good there, mate. But why are you always hesitating when you have so much to say? You should not hide your brain, because your brain is awesome, Jade, and flaunt it. We are all flaunting even when our brains are pretty average," Megan said with an encouraging smile.

"What if they don't like what they see?" She almost wanted to take the words back, but now that it was out there, in the open, she could not. Megan looked at her, her eyes a little bit sad as she motioned Jade to sit down. Jade did. Megan took her hands in her hands and looked at her softly, gently. It made Jade's throat closed.

"Jade, if they can't see how amazing you are, it is their fault. Not yours, it will never be yours."

"Nobody wanted to adapt me, you know. I waited. For years and then, I realized nobody thought I was special enough. Maybe I wasn't. I am boring, I am-"

"Ssh, shut up. Self-pity is not a good color for anyone. But let me tell you this once, you are not boring Jade. You are the one who is making all these things up about yourself in your head and you have started to believe in your own lies. Stop telling these lies about yourself. Because you have never been boring. You were the only one who kept believing it and so you have closed yourself off from others, never giving them a chance to see the real you. It is your fault Jade, not anyone else's."

"Maybe, I don't know," Jade said as she stood up. "I do want to find the courage in myself, and I am trying so hard, but I always feel like I am falling short, even according to my own standards and my standards are pretty low."

"I will tell you a secret. I, Megan Chase, have a pretty high standard. No one can easily impress me, and you impressed me, Jade. You think I would willingly befriend anyone who is boring, ordinary? No way would I put myself through that kind of torture just for the sake of being nice. I am not a nice woman. I have never been. So when I want to be your friend, it is because I really want to be your friend." Megan said in a matter-of-fact voice, and even Jade—Jade, who never trusted anything—believed her words. Jade nodded at her with a smile.

"Come on, now, let us go. It is getting kinda serious in here and I am allergic to serious things. We need to find Jared. Stat." Megan said and Jade looked at her perplexed. What did Jared have to do anything with the conversation they just had?

They walked out of the classroom, a matching smile on their faces.

"Why? Why do we need to find him?"

"So that he can kiss those stupid thoughts out of your head?" Megan winked at Jade and Jade shook her head.

"Sometimes I am amazed at how unflinchingly loyal you are to your insane ideas. I mean, no matter where we go, you always come back to them." Jade laughed, her eyes sparkling and stopped halfway when she felt eyes pricking at her face. She looked up to see

Jared looking at her, his eyes wide and appreciative. Her heart banged beneath her chest as he motioned her to come with just a shake of his head.

What now? She thought with a small frown.

"He is calling you," Megan said. "This is the perfect time to talk about that kiss."

"I don't want to kiss him, Meg. Get it inside your head." Jade lied through her teeth. She was thinking about the kiss more than she actually should and she was starting to wonder how it would feel to actually kiss a guy, to kiss him. But she would never admit it to Megan or Megan would do everything in her power to embarrass her in front of Jared.

"Ok, ok, I will stop it. But he is still calling you."

"I am contemplating," Jade said as she looked at Jared and then back at Megan. "Why should I go?"

"Because he is unbelievably hot?" Megan replied with a shrug.

"Do you think that is an acceptable reason, Megan? Did your mom drop you on the head when you were a baby?"

"I will ask my mom tomorrow. Now are you going?"

"I don't want to go."

"Ok, then, let's go to our class." Megan said as she turned, but then Jared was standing opposite to them and now Jade had no other option except to look at the pestering guy, who was tormenting her in her dreams and in her real life.

Maybe you should just kiss him and be done with that.

No, I am not going to do that. I am not an idi0t.

"What?" Her voice came out snappy and irritated and it looked like he had noticed it, as well. His brows raised in question and his eyes shrunk as he looked at her face.

"Grumpy much?"

"What do you want?" She asked with a soft sigh.

"No, be grumpy. I don't like this soft-spoken girl you are pretending to be."

"I am not pretending." She replied with a huff.

"If you are not pretending, it means you are rather a complicated contradiction and that is distracting me."

"I don't want to distract you." She said as she turned away from him and then, as if she had decided against it, she stopped, turned to look at him and whispered, "can I ask you something?" His eyes turned sharp as he scanned her face and he nodded. "Do you really-" she stopped halfway. She didn't know how to ask him about that without sounding too condescending or judgmental. And at that moment, Jade had totally forgotten that he had called her for something. It looked like he had forgotten, too, or maybe he didn't have any real reason for calling her except he just wanted to call her.

"Go on." It looked like he was actually enjoying it.

"Nothing."

"You want to ask me whether I really do kiss for money or not, right?" He asked with a smile that grated on her nerves. It was all-knowing. "What if I say yes? What will you say then?"

"Nothing."

"You are judging me, aren't you?" He asked with a snobbish smile.

"I am not judging you. I can not judge someone I don't know."

"Oh, Jade, your words are saying one thing and your eyes, those blue, blue judgmental eyes..." He chuckled. "Yes, I do kiss if someone pays me, but I don't always say yes, too. Everything everyone says is not true, but something is true, too."

"You are making my head spin."

"To put it simply, I do kiss for money. It is like a kissing booth, only I am collecting fund for my welfare." Jared winked at her. "Also, I am rather selective of who I let near my lips. And about the money... they want a kiss from me and I don't want that kiss, so why can't I earn something for the trouble?" He sounded too logical, but somehow it was all confounding for her.

"Kissing girls is trouble?" She mumbled with a quizzical look. She had never heard anyone saying that kissing was trouble.

Why am I not hesitating to talk with him?

She didn't know how she could talk with him as if he was someone she had known all her life, but somehow words came easier when she was with him and Megan.

"Yes. I don't want to kiss them. I actually am doing them a favor, because mostly girls come to me because they are afraid of kissing the person they actually like. Kissing me was like a trial run... and so... they do a favor for me in return. I am not rich, Jade. I am here on a scholarship and my mom already works so much to take care of my brothers. So I have to take care of myself. I work, but this money helps, too. So why won't I take advantage of that?"

"Okay, sure."

"You are still not convinced. You think it is so wrong I am doing this, don't you? You think I am such a pompous jerk," he said as he pulled her down an empty corridor. "Your eyes are full of condemnation... oh, I want the condemnation to change."

"What are you doing?" She asked nervously as she noticed there were not too many people around them right now. Her heart thundered. She was sure he wouldn't do anything to hurt her, but what if he did do something she wanted, like kiss her?

"Nothing. Oh, stop looking so scared. I won't bite you, Jade. OK, I won't bite you unless you ask very, very nicely." He chuckled when she flushed a bright shade of red. "You look cute when you flush brighter than a tomato." He said as his finger softly traced a line on her cheek and she took a step back from him. Her tongue was dry, her lips were parched and she felt like she was standing in the middle of Sahara desert. "Let us play a game, Jade." He whispered as he leaned closer to her and her body was on red alert.

Shit. You are in biiiig trouble.

"I don't want to play any game. I am late for my class."

"Such a good girl, aren't you?" He taunted, his eyes glinting in the afternoon sun.

"For one day, you can afford to be bad, Jade. Just this once. It will be fun. You need some fun."

"I don't need fun. I am fine the way my life is."

"You are too prim, Jade. You need to find the middle point or you won't be fine the way your life will become. All work and no play, makes your life such a boring place to be..."

"You are the one who said I can not afford any distraction. You are contradicting yourself now and confusing me."

"Yes. Distractions, no. But a little fun here and there will be good for you, Ms. I am too proper. Now close your eyes." He ordered as he grabbed her bag away from her and wore it on his back. "In case you try to take off." She blushed. She had planned to do just that and knowing he could read her so easily made her feel stupid.

"You won't let me go?"

"I am not going to do anything you don't want to."

"You are very smug. I don't want to play this game with you..." She said with a frown and he gave her a lopsided smile, his eyes flirting with hers.

"OK, anything else except this. Now close your eyes already." He said as he pushed a finger on her forehead.

She sighed forcefully as she closed her eyes. In the dark, she could feel him around her. His warmth. His scent. He smelled beautiful. He smelled like how the grass in her orphanage smelled just after a dewy night.

"How much money do you have?"

She knew where he was going with it, and suddenly she wasn't so afraid anymore. Maybe she deserved this fun, as well. She hadn't had any fun in a long, long time.

Twelve years, to be exact, and it was such a long time to not have any fun. She decided to play along and pushed the nervous pings in her brain back, deep down inside the black box, as she answered, "Twelve dollars and 65 cents."

"How much are you willing to part with?"

"Nothing."

"You are cheap girl, aren't you?"

"I can't afford to lose a single penny."

"Ok, imagine you can afford to lose all your money, and now tell me how much you are willing to lose?"

"Everything." Her eyes snapped open and his breathing hitched. "Kiss me." She whispered and his eyes were probing as he took a step closer to her. She felt like she would simply melt from the heat of it all.

"Jade?" He whispered, his voice hoarse and breathy. "How much are you going to pay me?"

"Everything. I am willing to part with everything. For once, I actually want to feel how kissing would make me feel... I don't want to keep dreaming about that, anymore." She was surprised to hear herself talk like that, but she knew what she had just told him was true.

He took a step back as if she had just slapped him. "If I kiss you now, it going to be your first kiss, Jade?" He looked at her curiously.

"Yes." She whispered, feeling almost shy, but still she didn't back off. She looked up at him, her eyes eager and open and sad and his heart made a strange twist inside his chest.

"Go, Jade. You will be late for your class." He said, his voice was distant and it was not so fun anymore. He looked like he already regretted starting this with her.

"Why? You are the one who wanted to play this." She said as she looked at him with accusing eyes. "Now that you know I haven't kissed anyone, you don't want to kiss me? Why?"

"A first kiss is always something special. If I kiss you now, you will feel something for me. It will change the way you look at me, and I am not ready for anyone to look at me in that way. I don't want to hurt you, Jade. I am giving you an easy out. Take it. Go."

"Like I said, you have a God complex. Don't worry about my heart or my feelings. I have read all the terms and conditions and I am signing willingly. You don't have to worry about changing me looking at you any differently, because I am not going to look at you like that."

"Where is all this bravado coming from?" He asked, looking surprised.

"I don't know. Maybe it is the adrenaline or maybe it is Megan. I don't know. I just-" She pulled her backpack from him and opened her purse, pulled out a five bucks and handed it to him. He looked at it as if it was a venomous snake and then grabbed it with two fingers.

The conceited glint that once was in his eyes was now gone.

"You promise you won't get hungover on this kiss? You promise you will not distract me or want to have anything more with me after it? This is only physical, okay?"

"I won't. It will be just a kiss." She said sternly as she took a step closer to him.

Today she was going to get her first kiss. Today, she was going to know how it would feel to kiss and touch a guy, in real life.

He gently touched her face with his big palms and they were warm, soft and she sighed and closed her eyes as he took a step closer to her. "You only get three minutes for your money." He whispered the words as he stepped closer to her. She craved the touch of his lips, she burned for it.

"Romantic." She sighed and the words got lost inside his lips as he pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

The thrashing heart stopped and it started again, this time much more vigorous than before.

___