Pregnant with the Bad Boy - Second Book

Chapter 5

I didn’t hate the hospital, unlike when I was in one of the beds, Dad asleep at my side. Mom was talking to someone on the phone outside the room where I had spent the last hours dead tired after what happened.

Mom was crying; even if she had wiped her face before walking inside, you could see her puffy eyes and smudgy mascara, which wasn’t as waterproof as it was supposed to be.

“Oh god….” Mom was whining, sitting down beside Dad when he didn’t wake up, too tired, and that was my fault too... if I hadn’t panicked, they would have been happy still being at the baby shower that I know mom loved every second of hosting, it was in her blood to talk to people, laugh and just loved being in crowds, same as my sister.

“You really scared us… Mandy told me that they have cleaned up and that if you don’t return home soon, she will start tearing away the wrapping on your gifts….” Mom made a small smile to my sigh; I guess she just could do that; it was never my baby shower anyway, no matter what it said on the labels.

“I’m sorry…” I didn’t know what else to say; I couldn’t handle seeing Lorraine and her talking about… that… my jaw clenched when my eyes narrowed again, seeing the monitor keeping track of my heart go up; I was just a mess… like always…

“It's not your fault… I know I should have tossed that little b***h out on her ass when I saw her…. We don’t need you getting more upset, Jennifer…. Oh god, you are so close to birth, and I don’t want you having another panic attack because Lorraine Masters suddenly grew a f*****g conscious!” Mom was snappy when she answered me to the grunts of dads snoring; he was tired when Mom took his hand, holding it in hers, making me jealous like they always did; I was so sick of this already, being on my own… it was more complicated than I thought I would ever be.

“I just wished we could do something! how is that man even allowed to walk the streets after what he did to you?!” I didn’t answer, Mom had spoken to Mandy, and she somehow knew what I had been panicking over; it was a stupid panic attack that had started right in the middle of my mother’s happiness.

Mom started to cry again when I closed my eyes; this was all my fault, it was, and nobody could tell me different, not her, Dad, or anyone another one that was trying to talk to me; I should never have set foot inside that stupid place where Dylan and his friends where drinking.

“It's just unfair! Why is everyone protecting him!? I am going to find that wife of his and….” Mom was snarling it by now, waking Dad when I still hadn’t opened my eyes, wanting to disappear so bad when she was yelling over something that had already happened, and I wanted to forget!

“Gracie, take it easy….” Dad was reeling her in when she cried more, my mother bawling like a small child by my bedside when I still hadn’t opened my eyes.

That was my fault too.

“I hate this too, I really do!” Dad was pleading with her when she was still crying her eyes out, wanting to understand something I didn’t do either; I was lost.

“f*****g inbreeds, all of you! I hate this town, don’t you think I know they are all blaming her, us!? That the f*****g bastard has everyone wrapped around his finger because he used to run with a f*****g ball, that is ridiculous!” Mom was shrieking louder when I covered my ears, not wanting to hear it, my heart was starting to faster, and it was killing me that she was getting so upset that someone was going to call security soon if she didn’t stop!

“Gracie, please…” Dad was still holding her when she was fighting back, eyes made of ice when she turned her attention back to my dad, who knew that she would give him hell for everything seeing her sadistic face.

“You! This is your fault too! You left us; how the f**k was my girls supposed to know what to expect from a man, any man when they had no father!” she stepped back, still looking like she wanted to fight, anyone and dad being the only suitable candite right now when I was still covering my ears with my hands waiting for her to stop.

Hold up, are you accusing me of being responsible for what happened!?” Dad was barking back, coming after the angry blonde woman that was going to storm off, and he was going to follow her, always did.

“No! That’s not what I’m saying! It’s your fault that she ever fell in love with that stupid guy that this whole town worship, like he is some f*****g god and that friend of his that did this, she would have been fine without him in his life, she could have graduated by now and met someone else that didn’t seduce her!” Mom was screaming now, having Dad take another step when she was already outside in the hallway, crying even more that she hated everyone and everything around us.

I could still hear Mom screaming at the end of the corridor before it got muffled. By then, I didn’t care; I just wanted her to stop; she couldn’t change anything acting crazy; there was already enough of that with me around.

I don’t know how long I had been lying on my side, perfectly still, when the door opened again. I closed my eyes, pretending to sleep when I didn’t want to talk with my parents about what had happened; I knew why I freaked out, and I was crazy.

“Hey… you asleep?” the hushed voice belonged to the guy looking down on me with sadness in his eyes, wanting to understand what the hell was wrong with me when I didn’t know that either; nobody did.

“No…” I answered back silently. I wasn’t asleep, not after Mom had screamed all over the ward to the point that she was probably thrown out of it.

“You want to go for a ride? Brought my truck….” Liam was smiling when I finally looked up, seeing his handsome face staring back at me, his eyes looking into mine when I nodded; yeah, I wanted that; better than being here and listening to my mom freak out again…

Liam was helping me up when I knew he was staring at my belly; I felt more like a truck than a human being; I was so ever this pregnancy.

Mom and Dad were still fighting somewhere when I got dressed and left, not caring that they probably wanted me to stay, but I was fine, or at least my body was, even if my head wasn’t.

“Thanks…” I was saying it when he smirked, opening the front and helping me outside in the heat; I felt worse knowing that I was walking like a senior citizen; at least I didn’t have to worry about him being attracted to me, and… all that other that happened at the shower… oh god… I didn’t want to look at him again, opening the truck and helping me inside with too much hassle for just stepping inside a car.

“No problem, Jenni…” he was in the driver's seat, starting up the engine, roaring it when I closed my eyes, leaning my head back, and just relaxed; this was nice; I liked this.

We didn’t speak when Liam was driving. I still had my eyes closed, just listening to the sound of the engine and the soft leather embracing me; this was the best thing that could have happened today.

“You know, I would have come sooner, but your dad didn’t want me to come, or your sister for that matter….” Liam was adjusting the music volume, and that was when I sighed; that didn’t surprise me since I heard that Dad was ready to kill him the second he saw Liam holding me down and struggling.

“Why did you come, Liam?” I turned my head and opened my eyes, seeing his face go from neutral to strained like he didn’t want to answer that; well, here I was in his truck and loving every second of it, and he knew that just as much as he did me.

“Why not? I told you I was getting out after graduation, and why not start here, in beautiful Perryville, Arkansas?” Liam smirked again, looking at the road when we had gone out on the intersection. I had no idea where he was taking me, but that didn’t matter as long as I felt the vibration of the truck keeping me calm and grounded.

I snorted when he chuckled, putting on his shades and making himself more comfortable in his shirt and slacks, he looked careless, and I was so envious of that; I wanted to be that too, just be free and not have the whole world on my shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s not Paris….” I said it sadder, regretting that I had even opened my mouth, seeing Liam’s grin become bigger; he didn’t know what Paris meant; maybe that was for the best, seeing that Grant was probably there and … living his life the way he wanted to, without me.

“Who cares about Paris anyway? I’m right here because I want to be, and that’s the truth.” Liam was changing gear and looking like he knew s**t; he didn’t. He was what, like, eighteen and thought he was going to make me better by driving me around, and our history wasn’t the best either; I still felt something when I saw him. I didn’t know what it was or if I should care about it since it would hurt both of us.

“You shouldn’t be here; look at me; I’m going to give birth and … yeah, just leave me, Liam….” I was looking down, holding the big belly that had my daughter, I already felt like I had let her down and I would make the worst mother; I would.

Liam looked annoyed but didn’t say anything, turning up the volume again; he didn’t want to hear me tell him off anymore; maybe he wasn’t here for me, but what other reasons were there? He had told me he loved me, and that was hard to go back from.

“I like your sister; she's funny...” He was saying it seriously when I raised my eyebrows, really? Amanda was the most spoiled brat and hated the world, maybe even more than me; he liked her?

“Oh… okay…. Yeah…” I was still not looking at him, wanting to go back home and crawl underneath the covers of my bed and pretend that I didn’t exist at the moment.

Liam was the one that snorted now, knowing that I was getting jealous even if it didn’t make any sense; I wished he hadn’t told me that, him thinking Mandy was hot; she was just the worst sister to have; I mean, she was the pain in my life these days, never let me have a moment of peace, she didn’t understand why everyone was acting weird around me. She wasn’t afraid to snap at me for it.

“Don’t look at me like that, so your sister is fine as hell, and you made it damn clear walking out with that old man, you didn’t love me and… yeah...” he glanced my way when he looked sad for a second before it disappeared to my sadness. I guess it was a good thing; if he liked her, maybe Mandy could, like… get over Dylan or whatever…... that was still giving me a headache.

“I’m not looking at you... I just… yeah, I’m happy if you are happy…” I sighed again, not caring to hide that I did not like that Mandy had been flirting with Liam, and he seemed to like it; wanting to continue whatever they had made me feel worse for being all alone.

“Yeah, you’re not happy; I know that look from Olivia; she hated when I was talking to you, and you are making the same face….” Liam had turned off the road, driving to a grocery store in a parking lot. He turned off the engine, instantly killing the vibration, making it easier for me to breathe.

“Okay, you don’t know her… she is a b***h, and… she is going to eat you alive….” I was saying it more seriously than I wanted to; I was so jealous, wasn’t I? f**k.

Liam was just staring at me; he didn’t move, didn’t try to come closer, or even act like when I had been with him before; I had burned him, and that was hurting me too; one more person was suffering because of me.

“So what? It's not like she can be any worse than you….” Liam was smiling, but I changed the anger in his voice, was he still mad at me for using him? I had told him the truth; he was one of the few people I had told everything to, and I didn’t trust people but never did.

“I guess not… thanks Liam, I can get back from here…” my hand was reaching for the handle when he stopped me, still looking like he didn’t get me, and he wouldn’t; people thought they did, and then I turned my back on them, made them regret ever seeing my face.

“Stop that, just stop acting so damn strange on me, not even wanting to look me in the eyes. Don’t you think I can’t see that? I’m not stupid!” He was getting angrier when I didn’t know what to say, seeing his fierce dark eyes, so he wanted to yell at me. Was that it?

“You’re the one acting strange here, and not me!” I was snapping back, wanting to get out and not listen to his s**t about how I had tricked him, made him feel something, and tossed him away like trash; I already knew that!

“I’m not strange! This is the real me. Don’t you understand that I’m f*****g insane!” I was slapping away his hand that had reached out to try to touch me, I didn’t need him, and he didn’t need more hurt from me; we were done, and I thought I had made that clear so many times!

“Is it?! Because I don’t believe that for a second that you are still a moping around, crying mess that just walks around feeling sorry; I saw you back home, you fought then, what is different??” Liam was closer when I was panting harder, having my back against the door, making sure to keep him away from me; I would not let him do anything; he said he liked Mandy!

“Everything! Everything is f*****g different; look at me! I’m a house, and I’m all alone, living with my parents that think I’m not f****d up to even walk on my own. Do you know what that feels like, do you, Liam!?” I was spitting it back, hating every second that he stared at me accusingly; I never told him to come and see me; that was my mother!

“Oh yeah, you think that’s bad? How about getting thrown out of your home when you graduated, being told that I’m on my own form!?” I was still breathing faster, seeing Liam sneer before he stopped like he was tired, and I blinked; what the hell was he telling me? Did his parents throw him out when he graduated? Why?!

“Liam, why the f**k didn’t you start with that? You could have told me, told f*****g Linda I don’t know!?” I scowled more; Linda f*****g hated her with all my heart, but she cared for Liam; I know she did since she had told me to back away from him when I lived there!

“And do what? What the f**k is she going to do about that, Jenni, please, I’m on my own, always have been, and you know my uncle doesn’t care about me; I told you that…” he was sighing now, s**t, he really looked exhausted, and I had no idea how he was so good at faking that he wasn’t homeless and alone when he was!

“I don’t think you know how lucky you are…. Your parents just dropped everything when you freaked out on us and…. Yeah…” he stopped sniffling the slightest, looking down at his hands that were turning uncomfortable before his face, he was ashamed, and I was still trying to make sense of what he just had told me.

His parents, or his uncle and aunt, they decided to just get rid of him; who did that?! I was still panting from being upset, Lilly kicking me when she was feeling me upset; oh god, this was bad; he was homeless and alone.

“Omg… Liam…” I was whining more when he looked up, wiping his eyes fast and clearing his throat, making me feel worse; I was the worst friend, the absolute most disgusting human being in the world that was selfish and didn’t even see that he clearly was sleeping inside this truck, having just a backpack and some bags with a blanket, damn…

“Yeah, so that’s the big secret… didn’t even get my things, said that I didn’t pay for it, so… I just split when they were taking my truck, like that would ever f*****g happen!” he was angry again. I was too. What the f**k was wrong with his parents? He needed them, just like I needed mine so much!

“I’m going to talk to Dad and …. s**t….” I wanted to help him, but I lived at home. Dad did like Liam a lot but, living with my mom and me, hated everything connected to Oklahoma and Linda, no matter what she told me. Oh, and my sister, that would be all over him, and I hated that even more.

“Yeah don’t… just don’t…. I can take care of myself… I just… well, I don’t know why I told you, maybe because you already know all the other s**t with my mom and…” Liam stopped looking back at me, his blue eyes were drowning, and I knew that looked so bad; he needed help, so much.

“Can you? I hate to tell you, but I tried doing that once, and… yeah, it didn’t end that well… I guess that some of us are just…... needy….” I said it was shameful; it was true, I was so needy, and still, I wanted to be alone; that was driving me and everyone else to madness most of the time.

“I have to, that’s just the way it is, and nobody is going to be kind to me just because they want to; people don’t work that way, Jenni….” He smirked again, putting back the mask he was hiding behind, making sure nobody could see that he was scared and desperate.

“No, no…. listen…. I’m going to talk to Dad; he loves you… it’s just that… well my parents… they fight… like all the time…” I was dragging the words out, making sure he got that it wasn’t some idyll he would be living within at the homestead; there were some real problems and then some.

“Jenni, I can talk to him… I’m not scared of your dad even if he can kick my ass; it’s just… I still have feelings for you, okay? It's not that easy to turn something off, even when the girl you confessed your love to tells you no and walks away with some old dude….” Liam was chuckling, and I felt worse; he did have feelings left, and yes, it wasn’t that easy unless you were me; I still had no idea what we had, but I did know that it hurt when I told him no.

“I’m still pregnant…” I was whispering it, wanting him to understand just how much s**t that was coming along to him, even liking me the slightest, even though I didn’t know how much trouble that was getting inside my life the moment that I decided to f**k Dylan Hopper.

“Yeah, no s**t…... huge…” Liam snorted when I was still staring at him thoughtfully, not wanting to make this just some stupid game. He needed somewhere to live. He was brave enough to admit that he still had feelings, and I was still just as f****d up; nothing had changed.

“No, listen to me… I know all that; it’s like you were pregnant last time either right, or I don’t know…. I can’t help what I’m feeling…” he was sighing heavily when I was still not moving, my legs starting to cramp up staring at him from my side of the truck; yeah, he couldn’t help that, and I couldn’t help it either, just like I couldn’t help being drawn to him, no matter how much I know that it was going to end bad, same as every guy that showed me that they wanted me.

“I can’t….” I said it sadder, knowing that I was breaking him more, and me, but what was the use? I was going to have a baby, and… he was younger and… no, maybe I should just bury whatever that ever had been between us, for the sake of f*****g sanity.

“Yes, I know you said that….” He was smiling now, wanting to stop talking, and I fell back more, shaking my legs that were starting to fade; yeah, I did say that.

“I’m still going to talk to Dad, just…. Don’t get your hopes up, my mom… she is far more dangerous than he will ever be….” I smirked back at Liam’s eyes which caught a glimpse of laughter from my bad joke. My mom was dangerous; he just didn’t know it.

“I will talk to Ed and… If he lets me stay, I can date your sister instead….” Liam grinned more when I frowned, wanting to tell him that I would rather eat Barbwire than see them date, but I couldn’t stop him if he wanted to, and Mandy sure was grooming herself around him, that snake!

“Whatever… it’s your funeral…” my arms were crossed again when he finally laughed, making the air in the car feel less tense; I was so going to make Dad take him in if he even thought about saying no; he couldn’t live in his truck!

“Yeah, I guess it is….” Liam was shaking the sadness and looking like he finally had something to look forward to when he turned the engine on again and took me back home. I didn’t even ask him about it seeing his eyes staring determined into the distance making the slight feeling inside me turn. He wanted to date my sister. Crap.