Pregnant with the Bad Boy - Second Book

Chapter 30

I had fallen half asleep again on the couch, nursing and feeling bad for yelling at Mom; maybe she was just trying to be nice, but… why didn’t she get it that she couldn’t just swoop in and take over everything? I wanted to at least try to make it on my own…. My sigh deepened when I still felt the slow burn of hurt roaming inside my chest, just wanting to get my stuff and leave everything, but that traitor was right; I couldn’t run with Beau; he was so small…. I couldn’t do that to him. I wanted to be the best mother I could be, just as I told Grant.

The door flew off the hinges when I saw the big man stepping inside, taking one look, and seeing me sitting alone with my baby on the couch. I frowned. Was he crying?

“Jennifer, I came as soon as I could! Linda couldn’t come along, and Levi was fussing….” Dad was out of breath and sniffling when I couldn’t believe my eyes; that didn’t happen, except when he was getting overwhelmed, not like me, that cried over everything.

“Dad… hi…” my voice was still cracking from the crying that I had done, he looked guilty, and I scoffed; he could leave just as well; he could walk upstairs and hang out with Mom and Travis for all I cared…

“I brought some stuff that I thought you might need…” he looked back like his truck had something on it when I nodded. Sure, if it was for my Beau, I wouldn’t say no, but otherwise, he could leave.

“Mom told me that you had a boy… “Dad was walking closer, seeing my frown still on the sofa and wanting him to leave, looking like he was scared to keep going with his big body; that was ridiculous.

“I did, Beau.” I said it back dry when Dad finally had gotten the courage to look at my baby staring up at the ceiling, just like I had been doing for the last ten minutes, feeling sorry for myself for what happened.

“Beau…. Hey…. hey, look at you….” Dad came closer, crouched down, and started to smile when I didn’t; everyone was so damn happy, and still, my life was a mess; Beau was the only reason I hadn’t just disappeared, like my ungrateful sister that still was missing.

“He looks like you….” I scoffed again. Did he? How could he tell since I didn’t, he was just a baby, the most perfect one and mine, but still, I didn’t see it.

Dad was still crouching before getting tired and sitting before me, looking at me like he wanted to say he was sorry for not being around, but I wasn’t. I had Beau alone and could live with him alone; that was my plan anyway!

“Yeah, he does… look at that nose, that’s the same nose you had when you were a baby, here look….” I was still not saying a word. Seeing Dad dig out his wallet filled with cash and photos of Levi made me narrow my eyes more, hating that I was jealous, but I was. Sue me.

“Here it is… look….” I still didn’t believe it when Dad pulled out an old, worn photo of a baby on her stomach with a big pink bow on her head and looked surprised seeing the flash.

Me.

I blinked, not wanting to cry again, too exhausted seeing dads face looking hopeful and ashamed at the same time for just walking away and not being able to help me more; I guess that was just the way my life was, alone.

“Yeah, maybe… can’t see because of all that pink frill….” I swallowed the bitterness when Dad’s eyes lighted up from hearing me try to sound like I cared that he had some old baby pic on me furthest back in his wallet.

“Your mom loved dressing you up, even just walking out to the store or whatever; never seen a prouder girl having a baby than Gracie….” Dad was chuckling now when he took back the picture and stared at it some more with a nostalgic look that I didn’t get and put it back again behind the photos of Levi to my bitterness.

“She told me what happened and…. She sorry, alright Jenni? She didn’t mean to take over and just wanted to help; I know she gets bossy, trust me….” Dad had lost his smile to my blank face, so why was he here? I thought she had Travis to defend her from me since they were getting a divorce.

“I don’t care; I can make it alone.” My eyes were determined to meet Dad, who looked like he didn’t believe me; not for one second did he want me to live here alone and have custody over my child like he was afraid I would hurt him; that was ridiculous!

“No, you can’t… listen… I’m not saying this to be cruel; it’s hard enough as it is to have a kid, and you are not in the best state right now with everything that has happened….” My chest got tighter hearing my dad's serious voice telling me straight to my face that I couldn’t make it alone, that I was a safety hazard for my son. That hurt.

I shifted the weight in my arms, going slightly numb from holding Beau too long and trying not to burst into tears hearing what he felt about me, not just him. Everyone.

“Then who? Who is going to help me? Dylan is in jail, and Grants is in rehab; my options are not that ranged in this town, Dad….” I gave in and started to cry when he looked bad, too, knowing I wasn’t lying. I had the worst taste in guys, and this was the end of the line. Me raising Beau alone and being scared every waking moment that I would black out and let him suffer from that.

“What about that Travis that mom has been singing her praises? Didn’t he help you out?” I started to laugh mockingly, making Beau whine when I was shaking the slightest from the pure distaste I had for that man, he was nothing but a pain in my ass, and Mom thought he was so sweet; give me a break!

“He is the devil, and mom is just buying all that bull from her newest boyfriend….” I didn’t care what Dad knew or not when his eyes shifted from being sad to upset, making me smirk more, was that jealousy that was coming up inside his eyes?

“What?? I thought he was interested in you; that’s what Grace told me, not that he is her boyfriend!?” I laughed more from the shocked face Dad when he got up, too freaked out to sit down, wanting to go upstairs and kill Travis. Let him.

“Yes, I saw them, Dad; they are a couple, so what? What are you going to do about that? You broke up again….” I had stopped laughing, seeing the hurt on Dad’s face like I didn’t know how that felt; I did, and I couldn’t help him; he was on his own on this one.

“Yeah, we did… but it still hurts you know?” He gave me another face that was suffering when I nodded yes. I did, and now I was alone; at least he had Linda, no matter how much I hated her ass.

“Okay, thanks, Dad… just leave the stuff and get back home...” I was too tired to pretend he cared enough about me to stay; he would just visit, probably return to the homestead to pick up some more of his stuff and leave.

“Hold up one second, I just got here, and you are tossing me out already??” I nodded to dads offended face. Why bother? He had his life back in Oklahoma, where he had knocked up an annoying interior designer that was the worst human being in the world, along with Travis. Worse.

“I’ll send you a picture of Beau you can put in the back of your wallet….” I got up slowly, still feeling stiff and not looking at him, wanting to rest my arms and going over to the bedroom to put down my baby, that was sleeping again; he sure was a good baby, better than I deserved.

“Jennifer, just wait… what is that supposed to mean?!” I had walked past Dad following me into the smaller bedroom; my bed and the crib were sides by side. I didn’t answer him, putting down the sleeping boy and stroking his face for a few seconds, not wanting to let him go.

“It means nothing; just go back to that perfect life you had gotten when nobody was looking, and just don’t pretend to care what happens to us….” I had closed the door, Dad was too close when he followed me, wanting answers, and I scowled right back when he did see the fierce green eyes that were the same as mine.

“You don’t talk to me that way; I’m serious.” I snorted when Dad looked at me like I was Mandy and he was trying to make her obey; I wasn’t my sister, and I was worse.

“I’m serious too; you have seen my son. Now get out.” I crossed my arms just like him and wasn’t giving in when his eyes grew darker, the black brows going downward, and he could frighten me to submission using his lower voice like I was a kid.

“Is this how you want to play it? Because I can take everything I bought you and return it to the store….” I hated that he was using money against me, was that it? That I depended on him, he didn’t know I had Dylan’s or my money since I deserved it more than anyone else!

“Go ahead, you want to take all your bribes back; I’m not Mom or Mandy that needs s**t anyway….” I smirked more when he stepped back like he didn’t want to do that, but I wouldn’t yield, so what if he got hurt? He had left us, and Mom was upstairs screwing Travis; my life was already worthless.

“You don’t, but that son of yours do, and you better remember that it’s not just your life that gets consequence when you act like a brat….” Dad was giving me some speech that made me feel like the slight searing feeling in my chest was pricking at me harder no. No, I would cry more and make him see my weakness.

“I’m not some kid you can boss around anymore; I’m a grownup with a baby!” I snapped it back, huffing at him wanting to get him to understand I was serious; I didn’t need him or anyone else!

“So what!? Look at you! You are living in the basement of your mom's f*****g boy toy and calling yourself an adult?! Jenni, you had a f*****g breakdown just two weeks ago; I know since I was there!” Dad had given up on being friendly and understanding when he was barking, making me walk out of my place; he would not wake up Beau!

“I know, but I’m doing better, and you left even after that since you couldn’t stay away from your favorite child, and don’t even pretend that you just care half as much about Mandy and me as you do about Levi!” I closed the door to go outside, seeing Dad follow me, having the same thought when he wasn’t happy with me, accusing him of the whole place of hearing us.

“Favorite?! You don’t even know what that word means! You've been a mom for a whole day, and suddenly you think you know s**t?! You don’t!” I blinked, feeling the force of Dad’s voice that was blasting me when I saw that he had given up, same as before, and shifted his body, eyes on the truck that was going to take him back to that b***h of his.

“You don’t know s**t either!” I was screaming it at his backside when he was getting inside his work truck. My nails were digging inside my arms, wanting him to stay and at the same time he could go to hell, both him and mom!