Broken Angel

Chapter 3: Rory

AZRAEL

Zach was infuriating. I had never been denied, and that was probably because I had never wanted. Not until Penelope dropped into my lap.

He should have been willing to help simply because he was our brother, not to be owed a favor. I had no clue what he was after, but asking me for a fat ‘I owe you’ was not a good idea. I owed no one. I bowed down to no one.

“Raz, think this through. It's Zach,” Gabi voiced my thoughts.

I knew that he could help us get Penelope back, but at what cost. I could only imagine what he was wanting. Having a free ticket from the Reaper could get him so much. And I wasn’t so sure that I wouldn't end up under Zachriel. No, I knew this was a terrible idea, Zach was a narcissistic imbecile, whatever he was planning on getting out of this couldn’t be good.

“I know, but it’s Penelope, I have to at least try,” I answered. There was nothing left she could say. Gabi would be willing to do the same for Alexi no matter how much she tried to stop herself. 

When did we become so weak? Lex wasn’t even talking to her right now, and she would still be willing to risk anything.

******

Five years. It had been almost five years since we’d started looking for Penelope. And we weren’t close once.

I was tired. 

At some point I realized that in searching for her I was cheating our kids out of both parents. I wasn’t there when I was taking care of my duties as Death, and when I wasn’t doing that I was searching for their mother. If I was lucky I was home in time to tuck them into bed.

I remembered the conversation very well. We were all gathered at the house, the one she used to call home. Her brothers tried to understand. Lex didn’t take it so well.

“I’m done,” I spoke out. At this point it had been almost a year of searching. The twins' first birthday was coming up and I finally realized how much I missed. 

She would have wanted to be there for all the small moments. I had the opportunity and I missed them. I wasn’t going to do that anymore.

Lex let out a scoff and leaned back into his chair. His brothers sat there silently looking down at the ground. At what point was it right to admit to oneself that you were giving too much, because I think they were reaching that point. “You can’t be serious? You know she’s out there and you’re just giving up?”

This wasn’t what I wanted. This was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. But I couldn’t keep chasing the past while letting the present wither away. “I won’t leave my kids without both their parents. She doesn’t want to be found,” I tried to explain.

“And that means we just give up on her?” Alexi yelled back.

I hated to think that we were giving up, but I had to weigh my options. And at the moment Alec and Aurora were more important.

I sat down with Aurora asleep in my arms while Alec crawled around the floor. She had always been more calm and reserved compared to her brother. While he would go off and explore, she stayed put and watched everything play out. 

Achilles picked up Alec once he began taking a few wobbly steps in his attempt to walk before he could fall. I missed the first step, Jo was there when it happened, I wasn’t. 

I watched as Penelope's brother held our son. He pushed Alec’s hair back. I could tell he was remembering Penelope. “It isn’t fair Lex. We need to move on with our lives. We can’t just spend the rest of our lives looking for her. We’re f*****g immortal now do you know how long an eternity is?” Achilles’ told his brother.

Lex stood up from his seat and shouted. “No! f**k you! f**k all of you! She’s my best friend and I’m not stopping until I find her.”

“Alexi,” Adonis tried stopping his brother from storming off by grabbing his arm.

“Don't f*****g Alexi me,” he pushed Adonis away. One of the twins created a force field around Adonis in their attempt to protect their uncle.

Lex took the hint and simmered down so he wouldn’t scare the twins. As much as he hated this decision he loved the twins and would never want to hurt them in any way. Aurora loved him, because in his own way, he was one of the last tethers to Penelope.

“She wants nothing to do with us. She hates us,” Achilles explained. After her encounter with Alexi, it was clear how she felt about Lucifer and his creations. He went against our Father’s wishes. Technically, he was never asked to not create them, so that had been his excuse.

I was guessing that she didn’t appreciate the loopholes or semantics.

“She doesn’t remember us,” Lex resigned. He looked broken. Not only had he lost his sister who was his best friend, but in losing her he pushed away the one being he was created for. He and Gabi hadn’t seen eye to eye since, and he was slowly unraveling.

Alec walked over to Alexi on unsteady feet and wrapped his tiny arms around his uncle’s leg. He was able to feel what Lex was feeling, the pain, the hurt, the loss. My son was feeling it all and he was a child. I wanted it to be different for him. I didn’t want him to be surrounded by sadness all the time. Things had to change, and this was the beginning. “Exactly. How can she miss something she doesn’t remember,” Adonis replied.

******

We thought Aurora hadn’t been gifted with her mother’s empathy. She and Alec were able to protect themselves with their force field bubble, but that was where the similarities ended. Alec was the only one to show Penelope’s gift. He had been able to do it since he began understanding feelings.

When his sister was crying, he cried. When his sister was happy, he was happy. And when his sister was confused and scared, he was right there with her. It was the day that we found out Aurora had inherited my gift.

We were getting them ready for preschool, Jo offered to help, and I wasn’t going to say no. I needed someone there to intercept any parents or teachers. The last thing I needed was someone accidentally touching me and passing on to the afterlife in a class full of four years olds. 

I was dressing Aurora when Alec came running inside with a stray cat that he had caught in his bubble. They were both excited about the prospect of having a pet. Then Aurora touched the small creature. Not a second later it was limp in my arms. 

Suffice to say, preschool was out of the question, and I had to console two traumatized four year olds after their newfound pet passed on to the after life.

Ever since then, I have had to shelter Aurora away from any living creature. It was difficult explaining to them why they couldn’t have friends like the characters on the tv. At first I was able to distract them with my wings, when that wasn’t enough I had to bring in reinforcements to show off their gifts. Lex even brought one of the wolves to shift in front of them.

I eventually had to explain to Aurora that she could look but not touch. She seemed to understand at first. I took them to a nearby park for a test run. Tragedy almost struck when a little girl fell off the swing and Aurora tried to help her up. I was quick enough to intercept her, but the sadness on her face nearly broke me.

Fuck this was difficult. Penelope would have known how to handle this. How to make Aurora feel better about herself. She completed me in a way that no one ever could. She loved me as the Reaper when everyone was afraid. Aurora needed Penelope and I couldn’t give her that.

But I couldn’t risk any small children, and I couldn’t let Aurora live with that on her conscience either. It was easier to keep her away from the humans. So I did what I had to do.

On their fifth birthday, when I asked them what they wanted, Alec begged to go to the park. After much deliberation, we split up. Adonis, Jo, Raph, and Achilles took Alec to the park, while the rest of us stayed home with Aurora. 

“I could gift her a hellhound?” Lucí offered after he showed up over an hour late. 

Gabi and Lex were outside with Aurora while she played tag. Family time was the only time she could have physical interaction and she cherished it.

“I’m not giving my daughter a hellhound!”

Lucí sat back on the couch with a glass of Angel Spirits in his grasp. He didn’t bring a gift but Father forbid he forgot his liquor. “Why not? It won’t die when she touches it, and it could take on the form of any creature she wished,” he argued back.

“It’s a hellhound.”

“And she’s a celestial.”

“What’s your point?”

He let out an exaggerated huff. “I thought we were stating the obvious. You may deny it, but we’re very much alike, I know how your gift affected you. Your daughter is going through the same thing. Except she’s a child, and you were created in your prime. She’s lonely. Let me do this one thing for her. She will never be alone.”

Lucifer may be chaotic, but he cared. In his own twisted way, this was his way of showing it. I still wasn’t sure that it was a good idea to gift her the hound, but I appreciated the effort.

Before I could give him a definitive no, Aurora came running inside. “Uncle Luci!”

Lucifer picked her up in his arms and twirled her around. “Rory! How’s my favorite girl?”

“I’m your favorite girl?” She asked once she was back on the ground. Aurora seemed surprised that he considered her his favorite. Or that anyone could consider her their favorite.

He lets out a soft chuckle as if what she said was the greatest joke. “Of course you are. Jojo has been fighting for that spot ever since you were born.” He wasn’t too off about that, Jo has taken a backseat to the twins ever since. She was no longer the cutest one, and I think that had busted her ego.

“Auntie Jojo is so pretty. I wish I were like her. You know she makes beauty?” Aurora sighed. She sat down on the couch where Luci was seated. Her hands playing with the skirt of her dress.

“Then she must have had a hand in making you, because you’re beautiful.” He told her pinching her cheek.

Watching the Guardian of Hell reassure a five year old was shocking. I loved my daughter and I would tell her every minute of the day if she’d let me, but hearing from others about how great she was, was just as important. Her smile grew reaching from ear to ear.

“Did daddy tell you?” She whispered leaning into Luci’s ear. “When I touch things they die.”

I hated telling her that. I hated explaining to her what she was capable of. But she had to know. Telling a five year old not to touch something only gives them a bigger reason to want to do it.

We learned that the hard way when I told Alec to stop using his force field around us. He trapped one of the wolves in it for an hour. That was the last time Finn visited.

“That’s beautiful in its own way, don’t ever be afraid of what you can do.” He looked at me as he said every word as if I was meant to hear them as well. I knew better. I was created to fulfill a task, that was all. Aurora should have never inherited this gift, it should have never been her burden.

 “I have a gift for you,” Luci exclaimed, changing the subject. Before I could stop him from doing what I thought he was doing he kept speaking. “This is a hel—heckhound. They’re created where I am from. And this one is all yours.” 

With a snap of his fingers, the large creature appeared in front of Aurora. With fire in its eyes and a trail of fire leading down its spine it swung its tail around knocking over a picture frame.

I thought Aurora would have been afraid, but she reached one small hand out to touch its snout then retracted it before she made contact. The hellhound bowed in front of her, accepting her as its keeper.

“I will hurt it,” she looked over at Luci.

He shook his head. “Not this one. I promise. You can touch it.”

“I don’t want to hurt it, please don’t make me,” Aurora cried.

Watching her like this was heartbreaking. We could give her this. A companion to keep her company when we couldn’t. Someone to protect her when I couldn’t be there. She needed this.

“You won’t. This one is just as strong as you, nothing can hurt it. And it will always protect you,” Lucí explained. He held out his hand for the hellhound and it leaned its snout into his palm.

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise,” he replied without a missed step. I never thought I’d see the day Lucifer was pinky promising to anything. Then again, I never thought I’d see the day I had someone to call my own. She may not be here but now I have two someone’s.

Aurora turned to me asking for permission. “Daddy?”

“It’s okay Aurora. It’s yours.”

She once again held her hand out for the hound, but didn’t retract it this time. As soon as she made contact, a happy sigh escaped her lips. The hellhound transformed into the stray cat that died a year ago. It jumped on her lap and began rubbing itself on her face.

Aurora started tearing up as she cradled the black cat in her arms. A few seconds later the front door slammed open and Alec came running in searching for his sister. His eyes widened when he saw her crying and rushed over to her.

They both sat there holding each other as the rest of my siblings along with Penelope’s streamed into the room.

“Thank you,” I whispered to Lucí.

Lucí crossed his arms across his chest proud of what he’d just accomplished. “How could I say no to that face? She may look like their mother, but she is all you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”