Broken Angel

ALEXIUS It had been a few months since all Hell broke loose in this house. Quite literally, the Lilim showed up from whatever pit of Hell they resided in with orders to take Penelope. Raz and I, we could have taken them, we could have stopped them. But then Gabi showed up. My f*****g soulmate showed up to take my sister. No matter how much I wanted to protect Penelope, I couldn’t go against Gabi, she was mine and she wouldn’t think twice about doing it herself. I was f*****g weak, and now my niece and nephew were suffering for it. After Raz left to do whatever he did as Death, I was left alone with the twins. Now I had to keep my promise to Penelope, to take care of them when she was gone. It didn’t hurt any less, Adi and Achilles were barely ever home. When they were, they would help, but I could tell that it hurt looking at the twins and being reminded of our sister. I was somehow able to get Alec and Aurora into their room awhile back, and now I just had to wait until they woke up hungry. I was still not one hundred percent certain how I was supposed to be able to tell before they started crying, so I’ve just been timing their meals and set alarms. No one ever talked to me about what to do with a baby, and now we were all helping raise two. My silent alarm finally went off letting me know that it was time for Aurora to be fed. She was barely rustling around in her crib still half asleep. “Hi peach, you look just like your mom sweetheart,” I talked to her as I picked her up in my arms. She had the brightest blue eyes, but the rest of her was all Penelope. I was so focused on the little bundle in my arms that I hadn’t noticed when Gabi walked in. “Alexi, can we talk?” she asked from the door. “I’m watching the twins right now,” I told her as I grabbed my phone and turned on the monitor for Alec. I needed to prepare a bottle for Aurora and had to walk around Gabi to get to the kitchen. Every time I had to show indifference towards her broke my heart a little more, but I couldn’t risk our bond getting in the way of protecting the twins, I already failed P once. I couldn’t do it again. “Alexi please,” she begged as she followed me downstairs. “There’s nothing for us to talk about Gabi.” She stepped in front of me and took over warming a bottle up for Aurora. “You can’t just be mad at me forever,” she whispered. She was right, I couldn’t ignore her for the rest of my life, which was now an eternity thanks to Lucifer and his gifts. But I could at least wait until the twins were old enough, I could be selfless for once. She handed me the bottle and I walked back out towards the stairs. “Well I’m immortal now, so a few years won’t hurt.” “What do I have to do for you to forgive me?” I didn’t respond, there was nothing for Gabi to do. I had already forgiven her, which only made me hate myself more. “I had no choice!” she cried out, her eyes were beginning to water, all I wanted to do was go to her and comfort her. Then I looked down at the baby in my arms and saw Penelope. Saw everything that she would miss with the twins. “Yes, you did. If you all refused the order, we could have kept her with us, my niece and nephew wouldn’t have to grow up without their mother, my brothers and I would still have our sister, your brother wouldn’t have lost his soulmate.” Everything I had been harboring had finally found its release. She did have a choice, I had a choice, and we made the wrong one because we were so consumed with one another. “I couldn’t do that, please understand. You aren’t one of us, your brothers aren’t one of us, my Father wouldn’t have hesitated taking you away,” she explained. I knew that my brothers and I weren’t meant to be, we were a blip in the grand scheme. Lucifer created us, and it was now what endangered us. We had the freedom to do as we pleased, but because we weren’t supposed to be created their Father could easily revoke our access to life. I didn’t think he would have used it against her. “And you think my brothers or I would choose ourselves over her?” “I couldn’t lose you!” she burst into tears. I couldn’t blame Gabi for that. I felt the same way when I was in the same position, and I made the same choice. I chose her.          Before I could respond Raz walked in. Gabi quickly wiped the tears away not wanting her brother to see her in the state. She wouldn’t want anyone to see her as weak. AZRAEL When Penelope died it nearly destroyed me. I couldn’t even fall apart because now I had two newborns without a mother. Seeing her again ruined me. She looked so sure of herself, like this was who she was meant to be, but she didn’t know who she was, not really. As if it weren’t punishment enough to live without her, now I had to live knowing she was out there and didn’t remember me, didn’t remember her family, wouldn’t recognize the twins. Seeing her sprout wings. I didn’t know what to think. How came to mind. Why was second. I had never wanted to give up my Grace more than now, simply rid myself of the burden that was thrust upon me and be there for my children. The humans couldn’t possibly be that bad, I could live in their world. Luci had done it for a while now, I could ask him for help. He would throw a fit at first but would help me in the end. Luci understood what it was like to be on the receiving end of our father’s manipulation. Our father created me to do his bidding and then created the humans to hate me. I’d even go as far as clipping my wings permanently, that way he couldn’t use me. But I had to be rational, for now. I needed to find Penelope first. What could he possibly gain from letting her die and molding her into one of us? He stopped creating us eons ago, we weren’t lacking anywhere, Michael and Gabrielle made sure of that. Now I had to go tell her brothers that she was alive with no tangible proof. They’ll think I’d gone insane. I thought I’d gone insane. But I felt it, the sparks, the bond was still there, it was real. She was real. I needed to head back home to see my kids and find Gabi. She was the one who carried out the order, she must have known what our Father was planning. The least I deserved was an explanation. Walking into the house, I could hear Gabi and Alexi arguing already. Ever since she carried out the order, he hadn’t looked at her the same way. I understand why she did it, but that didn’t mean I liked it. She could have refused it; we all could have. I walked into the living room and saw Lex holding Aurora and Gabi standing in front of him trying to talk. She was broken, she might refuse to admit it, but she was. The soulmate bond was pulling them together and he had somehow managed to resist it. I couldn’t imagine resisting Penelope, having to stay away from her, not being able to hold her. But somehow Lex was able to. Aurora was fast asleep when he handed her over. She was small, much smaller than Alec, but just as beautiful, like her mother. Gabi and Lex had just stared at one another, neither one saying a word. There wasn’t much for them to say if they weren’t willing to compromise, but that was their business, they were both adults. “Penelope is alive,” I interrupted the deafening silence. “What?” “Penelope, I saw her she’s alive,” I repeated myself. Lex’s head snapped in my direction and Gabi looked like she was still trying to process what I had just said. I didn’t bother looking up at them, all I could manage was looking at Aurora asleep in my arms and wonder if she would ever meet Penelope. Lex took a step closer as if he was afraid that I was unhinged. “Raz maybe you shouldn’t have gone out, it was too soon,” he said. I knew this would happen; they would think I’d gone mad. The way he was looking at Aurora like she would fall any minute frustrated me more, like I was unfit to care for her. “I’m telling you; I know what I saw and I felt her she was real,” I responded defensively. They didn’t have to believe me, I wouldn’t believe me, but they could at least give me the benefit of doubt. And trust me. Gabi didn’t bother refuting my claim, she knew what our Father was capable of. The orders he’s had us carry out for the greater good. We leveled an entire city to protect his precious Remiel. “How is that even possible,” Gabi asked. There was no way Gabi didn’t know what he had done to Penelope. She was one of his favorites, aside from Michael and I, we would always carry out his requests no matter what. He knew I wouldn’t, but Gabi was never one to go against him. If he asked her to help the Lilim, then she had to have known for what. “Our Father, he did it. She had wings, silver ones, she was blessed with neutrality. He turned her into a god damn Archangel. What in the Hell did you do to her Gabi?” I couldn’t help when I raised my voice. I was furious, and somehow Aurora was still fast asleep unbothered. “Watch your tone with me,” Gabi shot back taking a step towards me. “You’re the one who carried out the order!” “Not of my volition!” she shouted. Aurora began squirming in my arms and forced a protective barrier around herself and I. She felt threatened, by Gabi. “Watch yourself, you’re threatening my daughter,” I warned her. I’d be damned if Aurora didn’t feel safe in her own home, especially from one of my siblings. Lex stepped in between us causing Aurora to lower her defenses at his proximity. “Raz you know Gabi would never hurt Aurora or Alec, let’s just calm down. Where is she now?” he turned to me and asked. I could tell he was still skeptical, but he wasn’t going to shut me down out right either. He was hoping that what I was saying was true, that his sister wasn’t gone. “I’m not sure. She doesn’t remember me, she knows of me, but only as Death. I looked in her eyes and there was nothing there. She was empty.” Eyes that once held every emotion were cold and devoid of any warmth. Penelope was great because she could feel everything so strongly, because you could see everything in her eyes. “I have to find her. Can you please watch the twins a little longer?” “Yeah.” He took her from me and then put her back in my life without her memories. She didn’t remember who I was, she didn’t remember that we were soulmates or the fact that we had two babies together. Would she even recognize the twins? What was I supposed to tell them when they ask about their mother? Penelope would be walking around without a clue. They would know it was her, there were pictures filling this entire house, of her smiling, of her happy. But she wouldn’t acknowledge them. “If you find her maybe Zach will help us,” Gabi brought up. It seemed like she was going to believe me, and at least try to help. All I had to do was find her first which was nearly impossible since she had blocked me out. I couldn’t sense her anymore. “You know he hates me,” I told her voicing my concerns. I couldn’t think of a worst idea. Zach hated me with his entire being. She stepped closer and this time Aurora wasn’t afraid, at least not enough to protect herself. I hesitantly handed her to Gabi after she held out her arms for her. I knew she wouldn’t hurt them; it was just difficult to let go of the fear. Here she was one of Father’s fiercest warriors cuddling with a baby. I didn’t miss the way Lex looked at her. How did we would end up here? “Yes, well Death isn’t something humans want to remember but he’s forced to keep those memories alive for them.” Just thinking about begging Zach for help was giving me a headache, but I would do anything to get her back. “What if he refuses to help?” Lex asked the question that was hounding me. “He owes a few of us favors, we’ll collect,” she replied handing Aurora back to him. I once promised to bring down the gates of Heaven for her, and that’s exactly what I plan to do. Alexius Azrael coming in to tell me my sister was still alive shook me to my core. I couldn’t believe it at first, but I wanted to. I had to. Raz wouldn’t have mentioned it unless he was sure. After he and Gabi had left to search for Penelope, I was once again left alone with Aurora. I heard shuffling around on my phone from the baby monitor. No one was home. No one was supposed to be home, just the babies and I. I shimmered into the nursery as I still cradled Aurora in my arms. We hadn’t figured out what the effects would be on the babies, but I figured if she was half celestial, she should be fine. Her brother wasn’t alone and I didn’t have time to spare jogging upstairs.          As soon as I shimmered into the room, I looked at Alec’s crib, and there she was, Penelope was standing by the crib. Her hand was caressing Alec’s chubby cheek while he slept. He didn’t feel threatened, or he would have created his protective bubble, and neither did Aurora. They knew who she was.          I couldn’t believe that Raz was telling the truth, hoping it was true and seeing her in person were completely different. She looked the same, but she stood straighter and commanded attention. Penelope caught me staring at her in wonderment, it wasn’t every day that someone came back to life. “My apologies, I’m looking for the Reaper. I sensed a part of him here,” she said pointing around to the room with the hand she was touching Alec with. He began stirring in the crib probably from the lack of his mother’s touch. “He was probably here recently,” she finished.   P was sensing her own kids; they were half Azrael after all. She probably didn’t remember that they were a part of her too. “He just left.” She nodded at my answer. Her scrutinizing gaze grew darker by the second, something wasn’t right. This wasn’t Penelope, at least not the one we knew. “You’re one of Lucifer’s.” She asked, but it wasn’t a question, simply a statement. She knew who I was, but didn’t know our relation. Someone deliberately kept memories from her. “Yes,” I responded hesitantly. There was no point in lying to her, but there was something off, she seemed almost glacial. “You shouldn’t exist, you know that right?” she spat with so much hatred in her voice, I never thought Penelope had it in her. At least when she was alive, she never hated anyone, well except for Lilith. She seemed to hate the idea that I was created without God’s permission, it was written all over her face, in the tone of her voice, in her aura. The way her posture changed as soon as it was confirmed who I was showed that she didn’t trust me. Michael always voiced how he felt about my brothers and I, but it was never like this. He simply chastised us every once in a while, but Penelope looked like she wanted to get rid of me. Like I was an abomination. “I’ve heard it once or twice,” I finally responded. “I better get going, I have some work to do,” she told me as she turned to the balcony. She took one quick glance back and looked at Alec in the crib and Aurora in my arms. “Cute kids by the way.”