Saving Justice

Chapter Nine

It's been almost two months now since the preparations for my wedding with Cole began. It means Justice's therapy has been ongoing for nearly the same number of days. We have had around eight sessions so far. During our last visit to Dra. Olsen told us that there's no need to increase the dosage of Justice's medication, and we should focus on the therapy once every two weeks now. It only means that she's doing great. I can see that, too.

A week after Justice and Natalie graduated from high school, they decided to search for a job and got hired at the same local café. Natalie wants to rest for a year first before she applies to a college of her choice. While Justice, on the other hand, says that she wants to earn money first, even though she's already accepted into a fine university.

I'm sure she won't have a hard time studying with her intelligence. I have no idea why she still wants to work when she solely inherited her parents' and brother's finances and assets after they all died.

But to be honest, it's actually a good thing that she's working at a café because she'd be able to meet many people. It turns out to be very helpful with her therapy.

Justice would still fall into silence sometimes, but there's already a huge improvement. She doesn't mind socializing with other people now, especially at work. I asked Natalie to look after Justice at the café from time to time because I wanted to make sure that she'd be fine. Fortunately, she didn't have any anxiety attacks.

Today, for our fourth appointment with Emily, Cole and I decided to meet her at the café where Natalie and Justice are currently working. Cole is finally not as busy as before. He has already finished his business in San Francisco. He has more time now, so he always accompanies me to all wedding-related meetings.

"For the flowers to be used as decorations on the aisles, I tried using tinted baby's breath and roses in beige or light golden colors..." Emily shows us the digital sketch of the possible layout for our wedding aisle. "This can also be used as centerpieces on the dining tables at the reception hall." She moves to another slide, and there's another sketch of the function hall we had decided on two weeks ago. "If you already have something in mind or any changes that you want, don't hesitate to tell me."

I cannot express how much I'm satisfied with her ideas. To think that she even prepared a sketch to explain to us her vision properly. Honestly, I don't see the need to give an opinion because I don't have any problem with what she got in store for us. After telling her the theme I want for my wedding, she can already grasp what I want. She nailed everything!

"What do you think, babe?" Cole asks me and rests his hand on my thigh.

Turning my head to him, I smile. "I love it."

He smiles back at me before facing Emily. "We love it, Emily. Thank you for the wonderful idea you have for us."

"That's great!" Emily's face immediately lights up. "I'm glad, and you're welcome! It's what I love to do."

After our meeting with Emily, we stay and wait for Natalie and Justice so that we can all go home together and the two young girls don't have to commute anymore. Cole and I came here at 4 p.m. for our meeting, and now, the sun has set already when they finally call it a day.

"I wish Cole would always pick us up and drive us home," Natalie says, trying to wrap his brother on her fingers once again. "This is so convenient."

I glance at Natalie through the rearview mirror and see her with her feet up on the back seat. I can't help but chuckle. The way she acts right now looks like it's her first time riding in a car. It's very obvious that she's exaggerating, and that's what makes it funnier.

"This wouldn't happen again." Cole smirks. He's going on another round of teasing with his sister. "The café is out of my way home."

"The center is also out of your way, but you always pick up Venice and drive her home," Natalie argues, slightly offended because of his brother's nonsense. "What's your excuse on that, huh?"

Cole shrugs his shoulder. "She's my fiancée."

"And I'm your sister!"

"Still not my fiancée."

"Cole!"

Cole can't stop himself from laughing now. I laugh, too. At the same time, I feel sorry for Natalie. I want Cole to stop teasing her, but it's entertaining, so I just let them bicker with each other. And it seems like they can't live without it. It's their favorite pastime as siblings―that's how they show their love for each other.

How I wish to have a sibling of my own...

It's hard being an only child. But technically, Natalie is already my sister because I'm with Cole, and we're about to get married. I also treat Justice like my sibling ― the reason why I care so much about her. It just goes to show that family isn't really just by blood. Sometimes they are those people in your life who also want you to be a part of theirs.

Speaking of Justice...

I look up at the rearview mirror once again. She's quiet, but when I see her smiling along with us, it eases my heart.

There's nothing to worry about, I tell myself.

We reach the house in no time. The café is only fifteen minutes away from the Griffins. While Cole is still parking his car inside the garage, I already walk inside the house with Justice and Natalie.

"Justice, you won't go to work tomorrow, right?" I hear Natalie asks Justice when we're walking upstairs.

My eyes squint because of what I heard. Is she not coming to work?

"Yes, I asked the manager to move my day off for this week tomorrow," Justice confirms it.

I'm slightly curious about why she's not going to work tomorrow, so I turn to Justice to ask her about it. "Are you doing something tomorrow, Justice? Or are you going somewhere?"

She smiles and nods her head. "It's the time for my therapy tomorrow."

My lips part, and I almost face-palmed. "Oh, right!" I awkwardly laugh as I forget something very important. "Good thing you reminded me. It slipped my mind. I'm sorry."

The positive changes make me forget about it, thinking that we're already done with the therapy. Justice will finally be free from the chains that bind her from her painful past if this goes on.

"It's okay, Venice, and I'm sorry, too," she apologizes like she's the one at fault. "I know you're busy with work and the wedding preparations as well. Dealing with me at the same time, it must be hard on you."

"What are you talking about, Justice?" Reaching out for her hand, I shake my head. "You're not a liability if that's what you think. I'm glad I can help you. This is something I want to do."

With that, Justice smiles at me, feeling assured that she doesn't make my life harder for me.

•••

I'm lying on the bed quietly while exchanging conversations with Saddie and Aubrey on our group chat. Cole is already looking for apartments and houses on his laptop that we will visit one-by-one next week. I had no idea that getting married would be this hectic and tiring. With all the preparations that should be done, our rest days are being sacrificed. However, I know it will all be worth it whenever I think about the rainbow after the rain. Anyway, it's not just the rainbow I'm looking forward to, but also the pot of gold at the end of it.

Saddie:

Found a nice hotel already!

Saddie also sends pictures on our group chat.

I check the photos of the hotel's deluxe suite. It's just a two-minute walk to Lummus Beach.

Saddie:

Tell me if you guys like it so I can book the hotel and flight already.

I quickly type in my reply.

Me:

I have no problem with it.

Aubrey:

Same here.

With that, Saddie already books the hotel and our flight to Miami, Florida. She shows us the itinerary after her booking is confirmed.

I know it's still early, but Saddie and Aubrey want to throw me a bachelorette weekend getaway with just us three in Florida. We actually wanted to go to Miami long ago, but we didn't have the luxury of time. Now, they used my upcoming wedding as a reason why we should push this getaway. They convince me that this is my last vacation with them as a bachelorette. Aubrey also hints that Saddie's preparing a bridal shower for me, so I really have to agree to it.

The bed sinks when Cole lies down beside me.

With a smile on my face, I face him. "Done already?"

He nods. "I listed down five which all look promising. That'll do for now," he says and then glances on my phone. "How about you? Why are you smiling up to your ear?

"We're finally booked," I excitedly tell him, and I move closer to show him the pictures that Saddie sent to our group earlier. "We're leaving next, next week, just like what I told you."

"That's good." He smiles at me and tucks a stray portion of my hair behind my ear. "You should go and have fun with your friends. It's been what? I think it's been two years now since you last had a vacation with them."

He's right. It's been almost two years now. Back then, I got busy with the internship, and then I started working right away. Saddie and Aubrey got busy, too. We were all busy.

"What about you and your friends?" I ask him, curious if they also have something planned. "Aren't they going to hold a bachelor's party for you?"

Cole sighs. 

I'm now sure his guys want him to hold one, but he doesn't like it.

Seeing his expression, I laugh. "You don't want one?"

"It's not that I don't want one, but I don't like what they've planned to do."

Very curious of what that plan is, I raise my eyebrow. "And the plan is?"

He eyes me languidly. "To go to a bar, have a night out, and then we will sleepover at Kendrick's house because his wife's out on a trip to Atlanta next month."

"What's wrong with that?" I ask him because I see nothing wrong with it.

"You know I don't like going to bars now," he tells me. It's true, by the way. He drinks occasionally, but he doesn't like the boost anymore. "I actually suggested that we should just chill at Kendrick's house. Buy some beers and order deliveries, but they said that I'm a killjoy."

I laugh once again. "Maybe they just want to do the things you used to do with them before," I point out a possible reason. "You're the last one to get married among you boys."

"I'll try to reconsider..." he says, still hesitating.

"You should!"

He chuckles, then suddenly pulls me into a hug. "I don't really understand you," he whispers. "Not trying to generalize, but some girls would kill their man if he goes on a night out with his guy friends. On the other hand, you are pushing me to go out with them."

"That's because I trust you, Cole." I pull away from his hug just to look at his face properly. I slowly comb my fingers on his soft hair, and my hand travels down to his cheek. "I know you won't do anything to hurt me."

In my opinion, trust is the most important foundation of a relationship. It's even higher than love. It's on the top of the pyramid. If you don't fully trust your partner, you can never be happy. You will always live with doubts inside your head, which can badly affect your relationship. A relationship is not a mystery where you need to play a detective or a crime to police your partner. It won't work if you don't have trust.

No more words needed, Cole just smiles and kisses my lips softly. Whenever his lips touch mine, I feel the same fluttery feeling in my heart.

•••

The next day, I leave the center earlier because my last client for today is Justice. I arrive home at around two in the afternoon and prepare some snacks for our session before I go upstairs and knock on Justice's door.

Humming out my favorite song for the week, I wait for her to open the door while holding the tray of bacon cheese sandwiches and water that I prepared for us both. My brows furrow when a minute passes, and Justice is still not opening the door. I try to knock a few more times but to no avail. There's no sign that the door's opening anytime soon.

My heart pounds with nervousness as anxiety kicks in. What if something terrible happened to Justice?

Panicking, I put the tray down on the floor and try to open the door. I'm surprised to know that it's actually not locked. And so, I push the door open and see Justice lying on the bed with her eyes closed.

The anxious feeling does not end there. It just gets worse, seeing her unconscious. I have to make sure that she does not harm herself. I have to make sure that she's still breathing.

"Justice," I say her name and try to shake her arm.

I'm relieved and comforted, while Justice is shocked by how I woke her up. I must have startled her. She looks disturbed from her peaceful sleep.

"I'm sorry..." I whisper, letting go of her arm right away.

Slowly, she sits up while shaking her head. "It's okay..."

With my heart still slightly beating fast, straying away from its normal rhythm, I try my best to smile at her. That scared the hell out of me. I can't believe I panicked right away. I should've known that she's just sleeping.

"Wait here..." I say under my breath. "I'm going to get our sandwiches outside."

I quickly go out of her room just to get the tray. Once I'm back, Justice is already appropriately seated on her bed with her back rested on the headboard. While putting the tray beside the bed, I catch sight of her family picture. Her brother's not in the photo, though.

Justice must have noticed where my attention is, so she follows my gaze.

"Are they your parents?" I ask her.

She pouts her lips, nods her head, and picks up the photo.

"You still miss them a lot?"

"I'd be lying if I say I don't." She smiles timidly. "I still miss them every day."

So, even if she seems fine nowadays, it doesn't mean the longingness she has for her parents has died, too. I'm sure it will never be gone. The feeling may not be as painful as before, but she will always long for her parents. That can't be changed.

"Your brother's not in the picture..." I point out.

She bites her lips. "This was taken when Justin already moved out of our house to his apartment closer to work."

With a skeptical look, I eye on Justice. She's playing with her wristwatch again. She does it less often after our eight straight therapy sessions. It intrigues me because Justice only unconsciously does that whenever she's feeling nervous or uncomfortable.

Which reminds me... I haven't asked Justice to go through the accident with her brother. Her uneasiness may be related to the traumatic incident she experienced with him.

"Justice..." I call out her name cautiously.

She turns to me, and the look in her eyes makes me realize that she's not yet completely healed. It's filled with a mixture of overflowing emotions. Her eyes are so clouded that I can't name them all.

"Can you tell me how the accident happened?"

Her lips part widely.

Just with that reaction, I know my hunch is correct. I choose the right spot to dig the root of her trauma.

Justice bows her head and plays with the strap of her wristwatch once again. Her hesitation is her biggest obstacle to speaking the words she's about to say. If she can't do it, I won't force her.

"If you're still not ready to tell me about it, you don't have to," I tell her. "What I told you before still stands―I won't pressure you."

She shakes her head.

I can hear her violent breathing.

Her shoulders are going up and down at a rapid speed. She needs time to compose herself, and so I give her that.

Over time, Justice lifts her head. She is ready to speak out about what's been kept inside her. This is another part of the story. What she told me before is the first part of the whole. "Venice..." she starts by calling my name softly with a feeling of remorse. "I killed him..."

My hands turn numb and cold. I'm sure that I also lose color on my face. I part my lips to speak and ask what she meant, but the words don't come out of my mouth.

Feeling scared, I want to dash out of her room now. Unfortunately, my feet are rooted on the floor. I can't move. It feels like I'm frozen on the spot, and I have nowhere to go.

"W-what do you mean?" After a few tries of pushing the words out, I finally manage to ask.

She gulps down the lump in her throat. "Are you scared of me?"

Her question sends chills down my spine. My heart is throbbing in fear. I look at her eyes, and it feels like I'm staring at a stranger.

"I-I just want to know what you mean, J-Justice..." I can't speak without stuttering. "I―"

"We were fighting on our way home that night," she says and averts her eyes away from me, cutting me off. "I sneaked out to go to my relative's house. I went there without his permission. I didn't want to stay at home because I felt so suffocated in pain whenever I was there."

Little by little, the rapid beating of my heart slows down.

"He went there to pick me up and return me home," she continued. "I told him I don't want, too, but he forced me to go back with him because that's our home. We fought. And even when we were already on the road, I still rebelled." She heaves a deep breath and looks down. Her hands are shaking. "I tried to steal the wheel from him and turn the car back to our relative's house. We had no idea that there was a van approaching our way. It was too late for my brother to react."

I bite my lower lip while quietly listening to her story.

"It was raining hard. The tires slipped out of the road, and we crashed into a huge tree up ahead. My brother's not wearing his seat belt, so he got severely injured and died..."

I had never felt so relieved in my entire life until I heard the whole story about the accident. For a moment, I really thought she killed her own brother.

Why did I even doubt Justice? I should have known better.

"I killed him, right?" she asks me, still hoping that she may be wrong for blaming herself. "I killed my brother... If only I obeyed him..." She cries so hard and hides her face behind her hands. "I killed Justin..."

Shaking my head, I move forward and lock her in a tight embrace. "Shh..." I try to console her and caress her back gently. "It's an accident, Justice. You shouldn't blame yourself. There's no one to blame. Do you understand me?"

Justice doesn't respond. She just silently cries in my arms, maybe hoping that the pain and misery will go away if she cries it all out.