Blaze

Eight

"Dad, you know I can't accept it. I have a mate somewhere out there and I can't do this to him. I won't", I told him excluding the part that I know who my mate is.

"You've visited all the pack in search for your mate, Sapphire. It either means your mate is dead or you are mateless", my dad stated and I curled my hands to stop myself from snarling at him. When he said my mate is dead, the images of Maverick lying dead, his body unresponsive flashed through my mind and it didn't sit well with me, not at all. The idea of him being injured or worse, dead is already making me sick. I'll never wish any harm to him, never.

I may not know him or even if he is my pack's enemy I'll never want him harmed. He is my soulmate after all. 

I took a deep breath to control all the emotions flowing through me before I said anything. "Or it means my mate is rogue, that's why I couldn't find him in packs". Well, what I said is true.

My dad snarled from the other side, not liking the idea of my mate to be rogue. 

"You deserve better than a rogue. A filthy mutt can never take care of you", my dad growled, oblivious that his sentence has create ripples of anger to wash over me, flooding my veins with rage. I took in a sharp intake of air from preventing myself from screaming that "I have already found my mate and he is a rogue, a filthy mutt as you called him", instead I hurriedly said that some important call is coming and I have to pick it up. Without waiting for his response I cut the call and growled in anger. 

From my dad's sentence, I felt his ultimate disgust and hate to rogues. I didn't like the idea that my dad hates rogue for he will not approve of Maverick if he knows about him. 

Wait. Why am I thinking that far when I'm not sure what our future is, if there is any in the first place. My heart dropped to my stomach like the titanic dropped into the ocean. Crushed in half before sinking. 

A wave of depressing feeling washed over me like a heavy, suffocating blanket. What if mate did not accept me?

Before I crash everything in my sight due to my anger and frustration, I turned my attention towards the work for the day. I 

Why didn't moon goddess gave me her blessing through a normal mate? Instead, she gave me the savage mate, who is the cause for fear and grief of my pack members. 

He is our mate. We can't judge him nor can we question moon goddess. My wolf growled at me, not liking the fact that I'm questioning moon goddess and belittling our mate by praying he should be normal. 

To her, all she needs is our mate, she doesn't care for anything else. She keeps on bragging how our mate is so strong and that he'll take good care of us.

I so wanted to pull her out of her daydreaming and slap reality to her face but how can I when I hope for the same thing? 

I dream of him carrying me in his strong arms throughout our home. Home. Does he even have a home? There is no doubt that I'm beyond curious to find out about him but I know better. 

I don't even know where he lives or if he stays in the same place for a long time. I highly doubt he does. From the stories I've heard about the Rogue Alpha from all over the world is that he destroys packs from all over the world. If that is true, which is, he never stays in the same place for a long time. 

With that thought, I was left with even more unanswered questions which are killing me with curiosity. 

Is he even in this continent? Or is he planning to attack another pack? Killing innocent pack members there. 

Or is he planning on attacking my pack yet again? To complete the task of wiping my whole pack. The thought of him attacking my pack, killing the remaining members sends the chills down my spine, the bad kind of chill. 

He will never do anything to harm us and he knows killing our pack will hurt us. My wolf butted in, with the intention to defend our mate. 

How can you be so sure? I wanted to ask her but I choose to ignore her. There will be no outcome going to come out from arguing her, instead it'll make both of us angry with each other and I can't afford that. We have to be together till our death and we still have a long way to go. Unless our mate kills us. 

I didn't mean for my wolf to hear that last statement but she did and it made her angry as she growled at me. 

Our mate will never harm us. She snarled at me angrily. 

Sorry, I didn't mean it. I apologised nonchalantly. I feel bad but not for my statement but for making her angry with me. She is not yet aware that there is no future between our mate and us. If, by any chance, he does want to mate with us, he'll either have to join our pack or I'll have to leave my pack and the second option is impossible. He can't possibly expect me to go rogue, kill pack after pack with him, right? 

I will rather take my life than to kill any innocent soul. 

We will leave the pack, it's only right. We belong with our mate and we'll run alongside him. My wolf butted in, as if I'll ever agree to leave the pack. 

I'm not leaving our pack. I spoke with finality, hoping she understands and leave the topic but of course, my wolf is the most stubborn wolf in the world and she'll not stop just because I said to. 

You have to. We can only survive with our mate, our other half. She said but I acted as if I never heard her. I don't want to admit that she is right. 

We'll crave our mate more with each passing day. It'll get worse and worse until my wolf takes over completely and force me to mate and mark our mate without my consent. I don't want it to get it that far.

And for that to happen I have two options, either to reject him when we next meet or get to know him and mark and mate him. 

Both options are not possible. I don't know if our mate even wants us. Even if he wants us how will we mate, I mean will my pack ever forgive him? The answer is no. They'll never accept him. 

And if I choose to reject him I'll forever regret my decision, I'll live a lonely, sad and depressed life and I don't want that. I can't imagine living without him. Even though we're not together I have a hope that I have a mate and there is a chance that we will be together, although there is a small chance of it being true. 

"Alpha, the patrols have caught a rogue near our pack borders" head warrior Josh mind linked me, efficiently cutting off my thoughts.

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