Let Me Hold Your Hand (ManxMan)

I am many things but stupid is not one of them. Well, at least ninety percent of the time.  “I don’t want to date you. I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore.”  The man in front of me simply raised a brow, the finger tapping the table stopped and he’s frowning. I know better. I know better than to believe this man really wants to date me. Actually loves me. That he cares! I overheard him!  I can still hear his laughter as he said those words that ripped my heart into pieces.  I heard what William had said to his friend! I had heard it loud and clear and so this must be a f*****g joke.  I grabbed the glass of water and debated tossing it at William, watching it drip over his suit and his stupid face but I just couldn’t find it in myself to that.  “Look, Will, I’m your temporary assistant and that contract is going to end at twelve midnight and that’s it. We don’t have to talk to each other again and we definitely don’t have to see each other again.” I said, holding back my tears. We had spent so much time together, we had fun and William had loosed up and wasn’t the same up tight piece of s**t he had been months ago.  I thought he was different. I thought that William actually liked me. It was just a dream! A f*****g fairytale, is what it was. I should have been careful. William was always full of sweet words, the light touches came along with said words and really, I should have seen this coming.  It was in the gossip rags, the pictures were online. How did Ieven think I was that special? To change him? f**k this.  I grabbed my phone and got out of the chair. I held myself together, body drawn tight so I don’t cry in front of William. William who had been quiet during this conversation. What? Was he thinking up more lies that I could believe?  I stormed out, ignoring all the looks I got after I got down the stairs and passed through the patrons. I didn’t want to run, he just- The sky flashed, the once dark sky brightening up with lightening. Of course it was going to rain. I pushed my hands into my pockets and walked, refusing to think about the fact that William hadn’t even come after me. He didn’t even try to convince me otherwise.  I walked down the street. Keeping my pace slow, partially hoping William would come after me. I heard the sound of fast footsteps and my heart skipped a beat, I was so excited that turned around. The hope died in my chest when the owner of the footsteps -a stranger- run past me.  What was I thinking? I raised my hand to my head, quickly wiping off the stray tear that broke loose. No. I flagged down a taxi and got in.  With my head pressed again the window, staring at the streets that passed. The radio was playing something. Something familiar. Oh.  The radio was playing The Other Side by Ruelle and it fits so we’ll. It suited my mood. William… William was the love of my life. The man who gave me back my smile, William was the man who made me open up. He was the man who made me dream and made me believe dreams came through the first time we had s*x. I thought it had meant as much as it did to me.  The sky opened and rain fell down, rain drops rolling down my window and it just made me cry even more. I couldn’t hold myself together and I didn’t want to anymore. This cabbie was a random person that I would never seee again so yeah! I could cry.     The tears rolled down my face just as the rain rolled down the window. I felt so alone. I felt like a fool. I felt like this was the worst day ever.  The entire ride home, I cried and cried. I paid the cabbie who thankfully said nothing about me getting tears on his window. I was so thankfully my apartment was on the ground floor.  With a shaky hand, I put the lone key in and pushed opened the door. Lavender was no where to be found but the tv was on and there was a carton of half eaten Chinese food on the table. I didn’t even have the strength to cry out her name, I just fell into the couch.  “Dev! Is that you!” Lavender asked as she walked into the room, hair in a messy braid and tracksuit on. She takes one look at me and promptly drops the bottled water in her hand and rushes to me.  “Oh my baby! What happened?” “I ended it with Will.” I said, moving even closer to her.  “Baby, I'm so sorry. What happened?” “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I cried, tears still rolling down my face. I didn’t even want to think about the hurtful words William had said. If I hadn’t heard it myself, I would have thought he would never say something like that about me.  “Was he wrong? Was he at fault, I?” Lavender asked and I nodded. She pulled me even closer and I just cried and cried. Lavender let’s out loud cuss words.  “I’m going to f*****g kill that son of a bitch.” Lavender cussed, pressing kisses onto my hair. My best friend with the potty mouth. Birds of a feather like people would say.  “I’m sorry, baby. You deserve so much better.” Lavender said, her voice soft.  “I do, Lavy but William… I love him so much.” I said with a sniff. I love him so much, I really did. I wanted more than anything to be in his arms right now but I knew better. I know he isn’t coming here. I know he isn’t going to come to me. He didn’t even try to explain himself, he just sat there, tapping his finger against the table.  I had three more hours and then that’s it. The thread linking us would be cut. I would no longer work for him and his company. I would be out of his life.  I wondered if he was going to miss me.