Because of My Best Friend

2. Operation MYFFB

When I went back to work, I got right back into the routine of answering calls.  After the fifth false alarm, one actual break in, and two, count them, two elderly people falling down (it happens more than you think), I checked in with mom about the whole Kelsey ordeal.  She knew just as well as I did that the dam was going to break at some point, and gave me a twenty to buy an extra bottle of alcohol.  Such an awesome mother!

After I ran to the liquor store to get my and Kelsey’s favorite bottles of wine, I headed to the Quick Mart.

Now, when I say our town is small, I’m not exaggerating.  The same people have been working here since before I was born.  There are no secrets when coming to this store.  If you’re having pot roast, Rhonda at cash register 3 will tell you which spices will make it better, however, you do not follow her advice- it’s the worst.  If you are having any medical issues with your nether regions, definitely do not get help from John at 1.  Although he has good intentions to ask what’s wrong, his loud voice booms over the entire store, and your private matter won’t be so private.  Hell, thanks to him, everyone knew how heavy my period flow was when I was 17.  It was awesome. 

Not.

I grab a buggy and start my shop.  I grab all of the essentials you need to cure a bad break up: two bags of Hershey’s chocolate (one kisses, and the other assorted variety), our favorite flavors from our favorite guys- Ben and Jerry, a frozen pizza, large bag of Cheeto puffs, and of course, some Tums…. because we are getting older, and that s**t does not settle well.  I also swing by the self-care aisle, getting her a new bath bomb and face mask. 

Walking towards the registers, I cruise by the condoms.  Hell, I throw those in too.  If there’s anything I know about Kelsey, is that she bounces back with a vengeance.  I scan the registers and a smile lifts my face.  My favorite cashier is on tonight, and the person he’s helping is just about done.  Yay!

“Hey Martin!”

“Justine Spencer!  How you doing lady?  How’s the family?”

“Oh everyone’s great!” I load up the belt and pick out a pack of gum to add to my collection.  “Janet still planning on moving to Nashville for school?”

“Don’t even get me started.  Her mom has been crying every time it’s mentioned.  I only get peace when I’m at work.”  We both share a laugh as he scans my items.  His mouth forms a line as he goes through everything.  “Another breakup?”

I let out a deep sigh.  “Yea.. She seemed okay this morning, but you remember what happened last time.  This is prevention at its best.”  I swipe my card as he finishes bagging everything up.

The man actually shivers.  “Lord, we can’t have that happen again.  Ever.”

I chuckle as I grab two handfuls.  “Keep it real Martin.  I’ll see you around.”

“Good luck!”

The drive home takes a whopping ten minutes, and that’s with ‘traffic’.  By the time I get to our apartment, I’m already exhausted from the work day.  Usually I’ll come home, change into some comfy clothes, and lounge in the living room for an hour before I head to bed.  But not tonight!  Nope!  Operation make your friend feel better shall commence!

We live on the second floor of our apartment building.  We were lucky to find a three bedroom for as cheap as we did, considering what was available around the city.  We started living together when Kelsey moved back home after graduating college, and sure, we both could afford to live on our own, but both of us like saving money and having nice things as well, so it just makes sense to keep up this living arrangement. 

If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it.

When I walk into our home, I’m immediately greeted by the smell of lavender.  Soft music and burning incense is a good sign right?  I love our apartment.  Both of our styles clash into an eclectic chic vibe. Our couch- the most comfortable couch in the world- is a deep velvet green sectional that pops against a mustard color accent wall.  So many framed prints and pictures adorn the walls, as well as several potted plants.  There’s a tall bookcase overflowing with books, movies, and vinyls.  We also have a large Papasan chair- perfect for lounging.

I put the bags down in the kitchen, throw my shoes over by the couch, and follow the soft sounds of music.  I knock on Kelsey’s door as I open it and she’s not in her bed.  But I hear crying from her bathroom.  I knock on her bathroom door.  “Kels....”  She starts sobbing and I immediately open the door. 

She’s half hanging over the bathtub looking at photos from her phone.  She’s been in the tub for at least half an hour, judging how the mirror is fogged up and how damp her blonde hair is from the steam.  “Why did he look so happy here Just… how could he have faked all of that?”  She starts sniffing up snot and puts a hand in her bubble bath to only bring it back to clean her face.  I don’t care who you are- no one cries pretty.

“Alrighty girl, time to give me your phone.”

She scrolls through a couple more pictures.  “But I don’t wanna,” she says in a pouty voice

I let out a snort and sit down next to the tub and put my head on her shoulder, looking at the pictures with her.  “You know you have to babe.  If not, I’ll throw it in the tub with you, like I did a couple years ago.”

It’s her turn to snort as she drops her phone to the ground and leans back in the tub, only to sigh with frustration.  “You’re such a bitch.”

I kiss her forehead as I stand up.  “But you love me.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, now leave me to prune.  Did you buy the wine?”

“Yup, and I got all the necessities for a great junk food night.  I’ll bring you a glass.”

“You’re the bestest.”

I put the pizza in the oven and finally take my bra off to change into my comfy PJ’s.  There is nothing better than releasing the girls at the end of a long day.  By the time dinner is done, Kelsey comes out in her PJ’s and we scooch on the couch together, devouring all foods.  “Now and Then or Evil Dead?”

Kelsey is in the middle of a giant mouthful of ice cream, debating.  “Are those the only choices?”

“It’s either coming of age or horror.  No romance, no s*x.  So, which is it?”

“Now and Then I guess.  Pass me a dark chocolate?”

I grab the chocolate and jump on her, making us both laugh.  “Ugh, fat cow!”

“No ma’am!  I do not go to the gym two times a week to be called a fat cow!”  We start elbowing each other as if we are serious, but start laughing when each of us almost falls off the couch.  Once the movie starts and our laughing fits fade, I can sense Kelsey going into a negative headspace.  I put down my ice cream and turn to face her.

“Kels, stop.  You know I hate it when you’re sad.”

A tear falls down her face as she puts her own carton of ice cream down.  “I can’t help it.  It was only five months, but it felt like it was turning into more.  Ugh, he’s probably f*****g her right now, not even hitting her g-spot.”  She lets out a humorous laugh then taking a long pull from the wine bottle. 

Damn, that s**t’s almost empty.  s**t! Mine is too!

She scoots closer to me and I wrap my arms around her, letting her cry it all out, but I just had to ask.  “Did he not find your g-spot?”  Humor is the best medicine.

She laughs while wiping her face.  “Maybe twice…. With some serious guiding.”

We quiet down as we watch the scene where Roberta fakes her death.  I lean my head on hers, happy that we have each other for friends. 

“Want me to call your work in the morning?”

“Nope- I already did and took off until next Friday.  I haven’t had a vacation in a long time.”

I nod my head and continue watching the movie.  By the end credits, I’ve formulated a plan to enhance Operation make your friend feel better.

“Kelsey, what were you going to do on your vacation?”  I ask as we both start clearing our mess to get ready for bed.

“Nothing.  Wallow in self pity.  Prepare for destruction of property charges from Michael.”

I let out a laugh.  “I’ll vouch for you.  You were in the apartment all day long with a cold.”

“I just hope someone breaks into his apartment and causes more of a mess…. I did leave his front door open.”

I laugh out loud as I put the rest of the trash away.   I rush up into her personal space and grab a hold of her shoulders.   “Well I have an idea!  Let’s take a real vacation.  Go somewhere and get our minds off of everyday life, men, and work.  It’s been what?  Three years since either of us left?  We don’t have to do it big… like....., Oh!  We could go to Dallas!  It’s not that far, but far enough, and there’s a s**t ton to do there.  What do you say?”  I got myself so hyped up, I’d drag her if I have to.

“But what about your work?”

“Puh-lease.  You know I have tight connections with the boss!”  Her own excitement starts to grow as we get a laptop out and find a hotel.  This is just what we need.  A girl’s trip and a week away from everything!