TOXIC ATTRACTION

TOXIC ATTRACTION EPISODE THREE

He patiently waited for my response and after realizing I had no way out of his trap I gave in, I mean, how bad could it get, I took my odds and my reasoning being if I didn't give in, he would probably force himself on me and I also was aware that after I gave in, given that he owed my father he was never going to let me go but the truth is, he wasn't going to keep me locked up if I fully gained his trust. He was eventually going to get tired of my nagging and eventually let me go. I undressed for him and with tears in my eyes, I let him have his way with me. In two weeks, I had cried tears that I had never cried in my entire life as a baby.

After he was done with me I went to the bathroom and took a long shower scrubbing his scent off me and later on joined him on the far end of the bed knowing the following day I was going to be free from him. I wasn't at peace, I felt like for the first time in my life I hated my parents so much I never wanted anything to do with them anymore, if Richard let me go, I was going to go so far away that not Richard or my parents would ever see or hear from me.

The night was longer than the other nights, I turned and tossed as Richard snored loud enough to awaken the dead. I tried to cover my ears with a pillow to avoid the heavy snore but it didn't work and so I got up and sat in bed watching him sleep. My mind was all over the place with a lot of what-ifs that clouded my mind. What debt couldn't my father pay that made him marry me off to Richard?

I asked myself countless questions and obviously I was not going to get the answers.

Even with the snoring, I ended up sleeping because even if I wanted to escape again, Richards guy was in the living room watching TV that late and I didn't want to give them another reason to keep me there longer. Morning came and having woken up before Richard, I prepared breakfast as I prepared myself to leave. That morning I woke up in a better mood than I slept in the previous night. Richard's friend was sleeping on the sofa and so I sat on the other side watching TV as I tried to go figure out where I was going to go once I earned my freedom.

An hour later Richard was up. He rolled in his wheelchair from the bedroom and when he found me in the living room he smiled and showered me with praises telling me stuff like I was the best thing that had happened to him. He said good morning then woke up his friend to clean up so that we could all have breakfast. There was some tea, bread, and banana something I wasn't a big fan of. I waited patiently as I had my cup of tea and for some reason, they were just dragging. It was on Saturday and from their conversation, I gathered that Richard didn't leave the house that early and so I had to put up with him and his demands for another hour or so.

Richard: so, what do you intend to do once you leave this place?

Me: nothing interesting, I will go back to my life and live the way I'm used to.

Richard: you think I'm a burden?

Me: that's not what I said.

Richard: good. So I will let you go in a week. I still need you around for reasons best known to me.

Me: we had a deal.

I said tightly clenching my teeth already upset with where the conversation was going.

Richard: I know we did but I didn't say when I would let you go did I?

Me: Richard!

I shouted getting up from my seat but he was so calm and collected. He seemed unbothered more like he expected my reaction. He signaled his guy to give us a minute and the guy said he was going to take a shower and dress up.

Richard: sit down!

He commanded

Me: I'd rather stand. You told me if i...

Richard: I know what I said, sit your ass down, I have a problem with the fact that you think you can challenge my authority. I don't believe in beating up women and don't think in my state I wouldn't.

I sat on my seat and I was already boiling inside. How could he switch on me like a chameleon, saying one thing one minute and another the next?

Richard: I will not touch you again but I need you to stay for one more week. After that, you will have the freedom to do whatever you want.

Me: why do you want me to stay here even after giving you what you wanted?

Richard: you are my wife. Not on paper but by agreement. You want to hate anyone, hate your father. If he can pay me what he owes me then you can go.

Me: how much does he owe you?

Richard: a father and six million shillings. Your father took everything from my father and then called thugs on him to beat him up to death. He was rushed to the hospital and after he told me everything your father did, he died. Your father is not who you think he is.

Me: and how different are you holding me against my will, you are a liar and a manipulator.

I had tears making way as I couldn't believe what my father was capable of doing. My father was many things but he was not a killer.

Richard sat there watching me absorb what he just said and as much as I tried to be calm I was losing my mind.

On the night of our wedding day, the Richard I saw was different from the Richard that had kept me in his house for weeks which turned into months. The Richard before my wedding was a little understanding and gentle with me when the Richard who was now my husband was the devil himself. I tried to tell him that I fainted because I was not feeling well but he could not buy it. Hadn't his friend Mark convinced him that it was true, he would have killed me just like he said he would.

That very night I knew I had to stop running from him because my fate was sealed. He was now the man I had to spend my life with and the whole world now knew that I was a wife even though only Mark and the pastor knew I was going to be a mother.

Days after the not-so-romantic honeymoon we went back home. Richard moved houses after he learned I was pregnant from seeing all the signs. Nausea, the mood swings it was all there and for some reason I hated him even more than I did before the pregnancy. Mark was no longer my bodyguard because after Richard learned I was pregnant, he knew I could not go anywhere and he also threatened me for the hundredth time. Was it even worth risking my life?

Richard did not keep the pregnancy news from his mother, that was after he brought another doctor to run another test and confirm to him that it was true. His mother was happy, I could hear her sing in the background while on the other hand, I could not contact anyone and Richard made sure of it when he took my phone and kept it.

Richard had so much power not only over me but over a lot of people that I saw around me. Up until my wedding, I still had no idea what job he did or where he went to whenever he left that early in the morning.

Richard: my mother will come over for a few days. She can help you arrange the new house and spoil you too by taking you shopping for the baby clothes...

I didn't say anything. Richard's mother was not my best friend and I didn't know what I was supposed to talk to her about. I was still hurting inside, probably so bitter and o needed someone to talk to but who?.. the world had closed in on me, everyone had left me and I was in it alone.

Richard: if you behave yourself I will not set so many rules for you. Forget who you think I am and what I've said in anger, I want you to be happy.

Did I have a choice, no I did not and in this situation, I knew I had to create my own happiness or I would die a miserable life. I was carrying another life inside of me and now I had to live for both me and my unborn child.

Two weeks after the wedding, the storm in our house was now calm, if you can't beat them you join them right? I convinced myself and started acting more as if I belonged and decided I was going to treat Richard right for the effort he was making to keep me happy. I forgot my standards, the ones I had set on the type of life I wanted, and decided to embrace my reality. After being cooked up in the house for months, finally Richard accepted my offer to see him off every morning when he went to work, whatever he did we had not yet talked about but the fact that he was not sticking around all day was good enough for me, at least I had time for myself during the day before he got home in the evening.

Every morning I would take my husband to the bus stop, not many vehicles wanted to carry him because the conductors felt like it was a burden getting him on the bus, helping him on the seat, and getting his wheelchair in. I tried to be useful by helping out so that the conductor would not waste much time and while at it I felt all the eyes of the people on the bus on me. Some had this pitiful look on their faces while others literally stared only not able to ask questions. My husband would thank me and wish me a good day just before the bus would take off and that became a routine. When he was done with whatever job he was doing for the day, he would call me to go pick him up at the stage and bring bim back home, it took a few patience and understanding conductors and drivers to walk that journey with us every morning and every evening.

A few days later, Richard's mother Nerea came from the countryside, and having not known the new house, i picked her up and she could not hide the excitement on her face. She held my hand all the way home and when we got inside the house she said a prayer and spoke blessings upon me. She was sweet and that made me think of my mother and the relationship we had before Richard and my father got me into a web I couldn't pull myself out of.

Nerea: how have you been since the wedding, Richard told me the good news.

Me: I'm doing fine. I'll make you some tea.

I kept her stuff in the extra room and then went to make some tea for her. In both our cultures, the mother in law could not bathe or sleep in her son's house and that meant the much we could do was spend as much time but eventually, she was going to sleep elsewhere. That applied to both parents from both sides. It was taboo.

Nerea: I'm happy you chose to stay with my son, as a mother it makes me happy that someone would finally want to settle down with my son. It has been really hard for him.

I turned to her and watched her help peel onions and cut tomatoes which I was going to use for preparing dinner once the tea was ready. From the conversation with Nerea, she might have not been aware of the deal Richard made with my father or maybe she did and she was covering it.

Me: why does it seem like a big thing? Richard is a man like any other, his condition is something that could happen to anyone.

Nerea: you are the only one who thinks that way. The rest of the women have been seeing my son as a cabbage. They would agree to date him but end up doing it for the little money he got from work but none of them was willing to commit. There's one who even cleared everything out of his house when he had gone to work. Richard was devastated.

Me: I'm sorry about the experience. Richard is a good man.

I wasn't sure if I meant what I had said but Nerea looked like a mother who wanted the best for her son and I was not about to break her heart.

Nerea: so tell me, my dear, why did you choose my son as your husband, you are even pregnant for him.. why?

That question took me back ten steps backward. The inner part of me screamed giving all the wrong answers that would crush Nerea's heart if she heard them but I kept my cool and smiled it off...

Me: tea is ready. Shall we continue this conversation over tea?..

She nodded and helped me sieve the tea then we both went to the living room.

Nerea: so?..

Me: I didn't marry Richard for his money.

Nerea: I'm happy to hear that. You are the first woman who has married him for love. Finally, you have made my son the happiest man alive.

Me: you seem too happy than he is. What really happened to him?

Nerea: a bull hit him, hoisted him up and stepped on him, and as a result damaged his spine. The doctors have really worked on strengthening his back which is now better but on his way to recovery, someone hit him with a car while he was rolling his wheelchair. The accident interfered with his legs and he has not been able to walk since then. It's been eight years now. He didn't tell you?

Me: of cause he did. I just wanted to confirm that the bull story is true. Can they really get that aggressive?

That was me pretending so that Nerea would not read into what was going on. Who dates and marries a man whom she knows totally nothing about?..

Me: so it is confirmed that he would never walk again?

Nerea: yes. That's what the doctors said. He has accepted it and embraced his state.

We had tea and talked a lot until it was time to go for Richard. Nerea offered to go bring Richard as I got started on dinner.