Hawk

21 - I hope...

Brooke

“Come to see the little ape?” Everyone turns to look at CueBall with wide eyes. “‘Cause your old man already came around here callin’ names, girl. If you’re here to cause trouble, turn your skinny ass around and leave now. We don’t associate with racists.”

“That’s enough, CueBall,” BlackJack warns.

CueBall huffs and carries on drinking his beer.

I know everyone belonging to this club is angry that Hank came here. They’re mad about what he said to Hawk about our son and about Hawk himself. No one told me everything that happened until I overheard Taylor talking to Lynette about it. It hurt me. I finally understood why Hawk was so upset that day when he was talking to Gabriel about the horrible things people might say to him one day.

I asked Hawk why he wouldn’t have spoken to me about it. We’re a team, and I had a right to know. Hawk smiled and told me he wanted to protect me from pain. He knew if I had found out on the day it happened, I would have been hurt by it all. It didn’t change the fact he should have told me, but I understood why he didn’t. He wanted to protect me as he always has. However, I made Hawk promise never to keep anything from me again.

“Excuse me, CueBall?” My sister lets go of my hand and turns toward CueBall.

He looks at Marnie with narrow eyes. He looks scary right now. He’s an older man in his mid-sixties, but he can be a force to be reckoned with at times.

“I understand why you just said what you said. Hank is an extremely racist man, and his sons and his wife are also. However, I am not now, nor have I ever been racist. I taught Brooke to be like me, to treat every person with the same respect she’d like to be treated with.”

Everyone in the room is staring at my sister. I bet most of them are wondering how Hank Webster’s daughters are one way when his sons are another. I don’t know where Marnie came from, nor the views she grew up with, but I’m proud to be like her.

“I respect every person as long as they respect me. Color is just color. Color doesn’t make a person arrogant. The way they were raised and their environment does. Color doesn’t make a person a killer; in the same way, color doesn’t make a person rich and famous.

“No person on this earth is any better than anyone else. We are who we are because of who we choose to be. I prefer to love and be loved for who I am, not because my father is a racist and tried to force me to believe his views. I don’t, never have, and never will think the way he does. I am my own person and will stay that way.

“I am also not a fool, and I will tell you this only once. I don’t care if you said it only to make a point. Don’t you ever call my nephew an ape again. I might be a woman, but I’m not a weak one. I don’t care how intimidating you bikers are; I will end you!”

“Marnie!” I yank her away from everyone and into a corner.

I have never in my life heard Marnie speak to anyone that way. She can’t talk to these men like that. They may not hurt women, but the women of the club definitely will if she speaks to their men like that! I can’t risk her getting hurt.

I notice Hawk and his family whispering and looking over at us. Marnie seems upset, and I don’t understand where that came from.

“I’m sorry, Brooke. I didn’t mean to snap like that. I know he didn’t mean anything by it, but your little boy is an innocent baby. I don’t want to hear anyone say anything about him like that. It may have been said for effect because of Hank, but that hurt me so much.”

“Oh, Marnie,” I hug her for a moment. “No one here would ever say anything bad about Gabriel; they all love him. They were just upset because they thought maybe Hank had sent you here to get to me. They just want to protect Gabriel and me.”

She pulls away from me. “It wouldn’t matter if Hank sent me here, Brooke, which he didn’t. Nothing he ever said to me would have me coming here to hurt you.”

“I know, and I know you’d never do anything to hurt Gabriel.”

“Gabriel?” She smiles, letting go of everything else I said.

“Yeah,” I smile back. “Hawk’s middle name is Gabriel. I wanted to name him after his father. Plus, your middle name is Gabriella, so it fits that I got to name my son after the two most important people in my life.”

Tears pool in my sister’s eyes, and I have to hug her again.

“Sorry,” She sniffs. “I’m so honored, Brooke, but can I meet him now?”

I laugh, pull away from her, and nod my head. I motion to Hawk that I’ll be right back. He nods with a smile.

I lead my sister down the hall to our room and close the door behind us. I smile as she moves closer to Gabriel’s crib.

I watch Marnie stroking his tiny cheek, whispering how much she loves him, and my heart breaks for her. A few years ago, Marnie fell in love with a boy at school, an exchange student from Italy. Marnie ended up pregnant. Her boyfriend never even knew about the baby because he died before Marnie could tell him.

Hank found out about the baby and started screaming about how he should never have allowed her to go to school, that he should have kept her at home the way he wanted to, and my mother would pay for convincing him otherwise. It was awful!

Marnie lost the baby, but to this day, I swear Hank kicked that child out of her. He found out about Vito, Marnie’s boyfriend when he saw her and me holding a vigil for him. Marnie couldn’t go to his funeral because his parents flew his body home to Italy.

Hank was so angry, and he was hitting Marnie so severely, hurting her and not caring that I was screaming for him to stop. Marnie made me run home. She didn’t want me to get hurt too. I heard her yell at Hank how she was pregnant and to please not harm her baby. That baby was all she had left of the man she was deeply in love with. I don’t know; maybe she thought it would stop him. To this day, I don’t think it did. It couldn’t have because no baby ever came home with her, and Marnie was always sad.

I didn’t see Marnie for a while after Hank beat her because he was so angry with her that he sent her away. While Marnie was away, Hank beat my mother for suggesting Marnie attend school. He beat me also for being with Marnie when she held the vigil. I tried to comfort my mother, but she slapped me and told me it was all my fault.

When Marnie came back, he forced her to marry racist Paul to keep her in line. She’s never had an easy time of anything, yet she’s still the most beautiful, caring woman I’ve ever known.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks. I don’t want Marnie to see me crying, but this hurts. Her baby would be four years old by now. Marnie should have her baby with her right now, here to meet his or her cousin. However, that baby was cruelly taken from my sister because it wasn’t white and American through and through. Shi.t, Hank isn’t American through and through, his grandfather was Irish!

How do people endure this heartache?

Having your child taken from you in that way because its father wasn't classed as white in a racist’s eyes, I can’t bear the thought.

I’m proud of myself for finding the strength to take my little boy away from that horrible place. If Gabe had been taken from me, I don’t think I would have survived it. I’m not as strong as my sister.

“He’s so beautiful, Brooke,” I stand beside Marnie and smile. “He’s going to be tanned like his father; his color is coming in.”

She’s right. Each day, Gabriel seems to be a little darker. He looks just like Hawk in every way. I’m so lucky. I really am.

I stroke my sister’s back, and she looks at me. “Am I going to see you again after today?”

“Can I hold him?”

I nod and watch as Marnie gently scoops Gabriel up in her arms. She holds him close and kisses his head while breathing him in. She rocks him gently and looks at me.

“I hope so, Brooke. I’ll come by as soon as I get a chance. It shouldn’t be this way, but I can only sneak away when Paul isn’t. But there’s no way we won’t be seeing each other again soon. There’s no way I could go long before cuddling this little angel.”

She grabs my hand, and I hold on tight.

I’ve missed her so much; I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing her again. I know it won’t be easy. Her husband is a monster. I also know Marnie is strong and will get away from him as soon as she can to come to see Gabe and me.

“I love you, Marnie. You will be careful, won’t you?”

“I love you, too, and this little man so very much.” She kisses his head again. “Don’t worry about me.”

“It’s hard not to worry about you, Marnie. Your husband is a monster.”

“Hey,” She says softly. “I can handle Paul.”

She can’t. She may think she can, but she really can’t. That man has put her in the hospital before now. He’s hurt her so badly in the past I thought I’d lose her. Hank didn’t even care. He told me, ‘That’s what happens when you misbehave.’

I want to tell Marnie to stay here with me, that the Snakes will take care of her. Nothing can happen to her if she’s here with us, but I know she won’t take the help. My sister thinks she can handle Paul by herself, and she would never put anyone else in his angry path.

Even though I want to force this, I won’t make a big deal out of it because I don’t want to make her mad. She’d leave here upset, and I won’t do that to her. It wouldn’t keep her away from me, and she wouldn’t hold on to the anger, but I’d feel guilty.

Why does life have to be so hard?

Why can’t my sister find happiness as I have?

Maybe one day she’ll be brave enough to leave that man and go out in the world and find her happy ever after.

I hope.

I’d give anything to see her truly happy.

Anything.