Hawk

18 - A word from the wise

Ghost

It’s a warm evening, strangely for this time of year. Sitting on the porch with a bottle of beer is just what I need. I really should be inside helping Avery with the boys. I should be, but my mind is on other things. Shi.t, the only thing my mind should be on is my wife and young sons.

I never thought I’d be where I am today. I never thought I’d meet a man who'd take me into his heart, treat me like his son, and give me a family. I definitely never thought I’d meet a woman who would take my heart and keep it for her own. Avery is my world. My boys are my world. Hell, they’re my universe. I fought almost to the death for Avery. I nearly lost her when she tried to take her own life to be with me because she thought her cousin had killed me.

If it wasn’t for Hammer, I fully believe we’d both be dead by now. Draven Vidal would have killed me, no question about that. Avery would have taken her own life one way or the other. I owe Hammer a lot for what he did. Letting his half-brother into his life to save mine.

I can’t deny that Hammer and Draven have a close bond these days. Hammer even came around to Maria being his sister. The man loves her like you wouldn’t believe.

If I’m honest with myself, there was a time I thought Hammer would off himself. I never thought he’d settle down with Willow and have kids with her. Like Avery and me, they have two boys. Funnily enough, their kids are the same ages as mine. It’s crazy how things work out.

“Hi, Daddy,”

I casually turn my head and smile at Daniel, my eldest son, as he walks through the front door. He’s in his little fireman print PJs, fresh from his bath, his little sneakers on his feet. He shouldn’t be out here without a coat on; his mother will go crazy. However, Daniel is warm-blooded like his old man. He’ll be fine for a few minutes.

I chuckle as he holds his arms out to me. I lift him onto my lap and kiss his head, stroking his dark hair at the same time. My boys mean the world to me, but this little man almost never was. It makes me appreciate him so much more.

“You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“But my want see Daddy.” He lies his head on my chest and hums to himself. “My love Daddy.”

“And Daddy loves you, Daniel. Daddy loves you so much.”

I honestly don’t think Daniel or his brother will ever understand what they mean to me. Before they were born, I had no blood relatives on this earth. It was only ever me. Then Daniel came along, and I had someone to share my blood. Of course, then came Vinny, and I was awed by the fact I had my own family. Avery, Daniel, and Vinny.

“Papaw!” Daniel yells while pointing.

I roll my eyes. Daniel knows the sound of Red’s bike from half a mile away. Don’t ask me how he knows the difference, but he does.

Daniel clambers off my lap and rushes towards Red. Red is off his bike in time to catch my son. “My Papaw!”

“Little man!” Red loves my kids, and it shows in the way he holds them to him. He loves me like a son, my kids like his grandchildren. His sons are my little brothers, my kids are their nephews, and I’ll always love Red and Tammy for the family they gave me.

“My missed you, Papaw. Where Nana?”

“She’s at home with the boys. Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Red asks my boy while sitting beside me, with Daniel on his lap.

I know why he’s here, and I don’t want to hear it. I’ve done nothing but think about it for days. It can’t be true. I don’t have room in my life for it to be true.

“My want be with Daddy. Mommy get Vinny sleep. Den you came. My Papaw.” I smile at my son as he hugs Red. My boy loves his grandfather.

“Daniel Vital, what do you think you’re doing sneaking out of bed?”

Daniel giggles while snuggling into Red as Avery approaches.

I take my wife’s hand and pull her onto my lap. She giggles and kisses me. There are no words to describe how much I love this woman. She may be a Mafia Princess, but she’s a Snakes woman also.

I stroke the back of my hand down her soft cheek. Avery saved me. The night I met her, the slut in me, the man who would sleep with any and all women who crossed his path, was no more. Avery is all I saw, the only woman I ever wanted to see for as long as I lived.

I have been faithful to this woman since the day I met her. Shi.t, this woman is the only woman I ever had a relationship with. I’ll die loving this woman and knowing I was the luckiest man on earth to hold her heart.

“Mommy, not be cross me,” Daniel speaks so well for a two-year-old, but so like a toddler at the same time.

Avery has spent so much time teaching both boys the art of speech. The two of them listen to her with smiles on their faces and giggles from their chests when she praises them for getting a word right. Of course, Vinny is only a year old and can’t say much, but what he does say amazes me.

“Mommy get Vinny sleep. So, my came see Daddy, and my Papaw came. My promise go beddy now.”

“Daniel, Mommy isn’t cross with you. Mommy is never cross with you, but now it’s time to say goodnight.”

“Okay,” He happily hugs Red, climbs off his lap, and hugs me before taking his mother’s hand. Avery leans down, kisses me, tells Red she’ll see him later, and then leads Daniel inside.

I hand Red a beer from beside my chair. Luckily, I brought a couple out here with me. “Wanna tell me what you’re doing here this hour?” Like I don’t already know.

“You know why I’m here, Ghost. You can’t keep putting this off. It isn’t fair to either of you.”

I roll my neck, and the crack of my neckbone rings in my ears. “I don’t want anything to do with her, Red. It’s all bullshit! Am I suddenly supposed to believe I have a twin sister? That we were separated at birth? She got adopted into a rich family, and I got shi.t!?”

A week ago, some woman turned up at the clubhouse, wanting to see me. Roman let her in, and I stood there listening to her bullshit. She was claiming to be my twin sister. Said she was in the car with me when it skidded off the road and killed my parents.

If she was my twin sister, why the fuc.k weren’t we adopted together?

Why was I dumped like old trash?

How the fuc.k did she end up adopted by rich people, who took her to live in England where she had the best of everything?

Moreover, why the fuc.k did it take thirty years for her to come looking for me?

“Don’t do the jealous kid thing, Ghost. It’s not Cordelia’s fault that she was adopted, and you weren’t. She didn’t even know about you until six months ago. For her to have found you in such a short space of time and with little to no information to go on is amazing.”

Like I give a shi.t about any of that.

I never went looking for any member of my birth family. Sure, I was told there were none, and I am so fuckin.g pissed off that this woman was kept a secret from me. But deep inside, I wondered if there might have been someone out there.

“She’s a nice woman, Ghost. I know you say you don’t believe she’s your sister, but I think deep down you know that she is. Shi.t,” He laughs. “She looks just like you. Poor girl.”

Even I chuckle at that. I haven’t looked at Cordelia close enough to see if she looks like me. I’m not saying I’m the best-looking guy in the world, but I know I’m not as bad as men like me go. But if she does look like me, then I pity her.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this, Red.” I rub my hand over my face. “I’ve never had a sister, man. What the fuc.k am I supposed to do?” I look at him.

“Listen to me, Son. You just have to be there. Tammy and I spent an hour with Cordelia this afternoon.”

I narrow my eyes at him.

Why the hell would he do that?

“Don’t look at me like that, boy. Cordelia was upset. Tammy saw her in town. She looked lost, so Tammy asked her if she needed someone to talk to, and she brought the girl back to our house. Anyway, Cordelia spoke to us about the day her parents told her about you and about how they’d wanted both of you,”

I think I’m a little numb.

Her parents wanted both of us?

What the hell would my life have been like if that had happened?

If I start thinking like that, I’d have to think about the fact I wouldn’t have met Avery, and I wouldn’t have my boys. I never want to think about that. Ever.

“Those people were told you already had a family coming to collect you. They never lied to Cordelia about being adopted, but they didn’t tell her about you until recently because they thought she’d pine for you. Separating twins is a shitty thing to do.”

Figures. More like they wanted to wipe me out of her memory for good.

Can newborns even have memories?

Fuc.k knows, but whatever.

“She has a lot to tell you, Ghost.”

“You mean she wants to gloat about her perfect life.”

“What makes you think Cordelia’s life has been perfect?” I guess I just assumed she would have had the best life. “How do you know her life wasn’t filled with pain and terror?”

My eyes widen. I may not want this woman in my life, but even I know she is my sister, and thinking about her in pain...

“From the look on your face, I know you already love her, Danny. Believe me, Cordelia loves you and has loved you since the moment she found out about you. Her parents didn’t want her to come here looking for you, but she followed her heart. She doesn’t give a damn that you’re a biker. Although she is naïve to the world we live in, Cordelia knows bikers can be dangerous. You know, she told Tammy and me how proud she is of you.”

I stare at him.

The woman doesn’t even know anything about me.

How the fuc.k can she be proud of me?

“She saw how you were with Daniel and Vinny that day at the club. She might not have met them officially, but she knew they were yours just by looking at them. I told Cordelia a little of the man you were and the man you are now. The whole time, she had a smile on her face. She has a little girl of her own, Ghost, your niece.”

I didn’t know that. Shi.t, I didn’t know anything about her. Probably because I pushed her away the second I met her, and she told me who she was. I’ll never forget the smile on her face when she realized who I was. She was so happy to see me. She had tears in her eyes as if she couldn’t believe I was in front of her.

It’s hard for me to let people in. I had the worst childhood anyone could imagine. However, I can’t sit here and say my whole life has been terrible. It hasn’t. I have a family, a big family, my chosen family. I have the man beside me as my surrogate father, brothers, uncles, and even a mother of sorts. I have my beautiful wife and children, and now I have a sister and a niece — two more people who share my blood.

“What if I’m a disappointment, Red?”

I think that's what I’m most scared of. If I allow this woman and her child into my heart, I know I’ll never be able to let them go. I’ll protect them as much as I do, Avery and the boys. If I let them into my heart, my family, I know, in my mind, they’ll belong to me.

I can be an overprotective prick at times, and I know that can be overbearing. Avery only manages because she knows me inside and out; she knows how to handle me. I couldn’t handle getting attached to Cordelia, her feeling claustrophobic, and then for her to run from me because I was too overbearing.

Red clasps my shoulder. “You have never, and will never be a disappointment to anyone, least of all your sister. You are possibly, mentally, the strongest man I have ever known. You fight for what you believe in and for those you love, and you have the respect of everyone around you.

“So many people love you, Danny. Me included. You may not have grown up in a loving home with a caring family, but you have one now. You have Avery and your boys. You have Tammy, our boys, and me, and you have never been a disappointment to any of us.”

I turn in my seat and let Red hug me. No one else would get away with even trying to embrace me like this. I’ve done some bad shi.t since I met this man. Hell, he taught me everything I know about the life of a biker. I would honestly be lost without him.

“I love you, too, Dad.” It’s not often I call him Dad, but I do more than I realize.

“Talk to her. You might find you like her.”

We’ll see.