Remembering my vampire husband.

F!fteen. It was my first time.

Kennedy

The next day my family was coming. I had Gus prepare the upper chambers for them, I selfishly wanted to be alone in my special rooms down stairs.

My heart skipped a beat seeing my reflection in the mirror, I was wearing an old red satin dress with long flowing sleeves, a tight bodice, and a long skirt that floated around the floor.

I was quickly becoming the castle's keeper, feeling drawn to these clothes and very protective of the castle and it's contents. Smiling at seeing my reflection, my mood was still a bit pensive.

Running up the stairs, I went up to the roof and wandered around the turrets.

Wow, you could see for miles from up here.

Oh s**t! HE was out there, he was looking for me?

I ran down the outer steps to the cliffs. He saw me and ran up to greet me.

Sitting down, he greeted me, licking my face and nuzzling me.

" You are a very handsome boy my friend Clover." I kissed him on his long snout.

This time he seemed very comfortable around me.

Crossing my legs, I sat there in the grass.

" I need to talk to you, it is very important." I showed him the wolf head ring with the ruby eyes.

He jumped back, snarling at me.

" knock it off, boy!"

He surprisingly obeyed and sat watching me quietly, I swear he could understand me.

" Listen, I found your people's most precious things, I want so bad to give them back to your people, but I am afraid.

I mean what if they hate me anyway, especially for my family holding all of these things for all of these years.

I hold no rights to your things Clover, I wish you could tell me what to do. I'm so sick about this.

I might just give it all to the historical society, I mean Lucas Moore, you know him? Well, anyway he runs the historical society, maybe that's where they need to be." I chattered on, more to myself than to this big puppy.

Clover barked then, he growled too. I rubbed his head, behind his ears, settling him down.

" I want to talk to Orcas about it, but I sensed he is setting me up for a huge let down.

I know he is a descendant of the ancient wolf people. I found a portrait of a man that looks just like him.

But...Clover, I've been through all of this before with men.

They only want one thing. It's not my hand in marraige, I'll tell you that."

Clover whined.

" My last boyfriend actually dated me just to get to my older sister. He was a nice one. I was actually in love with the jerk, he broke my heart pretty good.

After I ended it, he told me that I was stupid, ugly, and a dumb ass to think any man would want a stuttering fool like me. I almost believed him, but daddy said that men like that would never get the girl.

Women need to be told they are beautiful. I'm sorry I'm blabbing on and on.

I used to tell mom these things, but since she died, I have no one. Not that I need anyone mind you, I've felt like a loner all my life.

No use in changing things now, plus being alone makes one appreciate the silence.

You know, I know what to do, thanks Clover. Your a good doggy, good boy!

I'm going to hand everything over to Orcas at the gala.

Then I will retreat back here and live my life alone , but I can be happy, because it's the right thing to do. OK good talk."

I turned to leave.

Clover came after me and jumped on me, growling, showing his teeth, he was a sight to behold. For a moment I felt fear in my gut, seeing his powerful teeth and jaws.

I looked into his brown eyes.

He snarled and moved in to my neck. My heart was beating out of my chest. I slowly moved my hand.

" Go ahead. I won't hold it against you. It's in your nature to kill me, but be quick.

I don't care about the dying part, I just don't want to be hurt. You know. Since momma died, I kind of wanted to go after her, find her. You might be doing me a favor Clover boy." I said softly. I missed my mother so very much.

I silently pulled my dress down and bared my neck to him.

" Be quick, do it now!" I yelled, turning my head.

He whimpered and licked my neck. He was playing with me?

I kind of felt disappointed really.

When I went into the darkness, I found it hard to recover from this, my heart felt so broken.

I stood up and backed away, dropping that ring and my key. Turning from Clover, I took off my dress and walked in my shift, falling to my knees and screamed.

I began to howl because it felt right, I was all alone, always alone.

Maybe I was going crazy because I swore I heard Orcas calling my name.

" Kennedy!"

When I looked up, he WAS there, standing in front of me now. Howle took my hand and pulled me up.

" What's wrong red?" He asked, as he pulled me to his warm body.

I felt a chill go through me now, as the wind kicked up. My hair flew around us wildly.

I looked at him, my eyes were full of tears. The darkness in me was pulling me to find a quiet spot.

" It's getting late. I need to find a way to end it. I mean to end my...ma ma my...my night." I made a fist.

He sat down then and pulled me down, sitting there with me in the dark of night.

We didn't say anything for a while.

" Why do some people have such ch..ch..charmed lives and others s.s.suffer so much, its na. na. not fair.

My, my, mmm, my sister doesn't have to even t t t try, she's a natural beauty, she has all the friends, she gets whatever she wants in life.

I never felt like I fit in anywhere. D D Do you know what that is like?"

He moved my hair away from my face and frowned, searching my face quietly.

"Sa.sa.sa.sorry look at you, of course you wouldn't know about da.da.dumb crazy girl thoughts. I'm sorry, why are you here, do you need something from me?"

"f**k!" I hated it, I despised it that damn stutter.

Orcas lifted my head. He bent down and put his warm lips to mine, kissing me softly. My stutter faded away.

" I think we are more alike than you know Red." He said, his voice low and grumbly.

" I never fit in either. I am supposed to be something I am not. I have this image to uphold, but I feel this pull deep inside, must be my humanity, I guess."

He was like me?

I stopped talking for fear that I would stutter again.

Sighing instead, he kissed my lips then my wet eyes, one at a time. "Beautiful girl, don't be sad, please."

I felt this bond to him, like he was supposed to be here with me now.

" Orcas, make love to me, here tonight. My family comes tomorrow, they will bully me and mock me for trying to live here alone and pressure me to go back home with them.

I can't go home without feeling a man's love, just once.

I know my sister and her friends.

They will make me believe what they believe about me, that I am too weak to be on my own and won't succeed here, that I need them to be happy.

I won't amount to anything since I never got into college like they did, I have no friends of my own."

" Are you sure Red?" He asked, but he was already kissing me, he had my shift pulled up and was touching my skin where no man ever touched me.

His hand cupped me, I began to melt at the feel of him.

Howle laid me down underneath his warm body and quickly undid his pants, opening my legs with his knee. His full weight was upon me.

I felt the length and thickness of his erection pushing against me, as I opened my eyes, surprised at his size.

He licked his fingers, then moistened his way as he eased into me.

I gasped and began to cry, feeling fire and pressure and pain, it was too big, biting my lip so hard, it bled.

This hurt real bad. I never knew it would be so painful and tight?

He made it a bit better by pulling out a bit and kissing me again, tasting my blood with his tongue, he rubbed my lip tenderly with his thumb.

" Okay?" He asked in a husky tone, he seemed to have a very hard time breathing.

It was feeling a bit better, I thought I felt something building in me.

It was a small flame that started to grow, then Orcas moaned, thrusting fully, just once and groaned so loudly, it must have woke the castle ghosts. I cried out in pain, causing him to pull away from me, leaving me alone, cold. Wondering what, what comes next?

He fell back on the grass, breathing hard and covered his face with his arm. " f**k!" He yelled.

" Are you hurt?" I asked him, he looked like he was in pain.

" Maybe I did it wrong, I'm sorry." I said, feeling embarassed now, I must have hurt him somehow, he left me so quickly.

I looked down between my legs for blood, it was there. It was also all over him.

He shook his head and smiled softly seeing my worry.

" No I am far from hurt, you pleased me very well. You were truly a virgin then?" He asked, but he knew I was, he felt my tightness.

" I...I...I w w was." I said.

" Fuck." I cried softly.

Looking at him, he was still smiling at me.

" It will be better for you next time Kennedy. I promise." He said.

Nodding politely, but I did not want to do that ever again.

"I'm not talking right now. I don't want to stutter again."

He took my hand and gave it a kiss then placed the items that I dropped into that thick grass. The ring and that key.

" Well, that was my virginity then...." I thought it would be more earth shattering.

He had his eyes closed now, he was disappointed in me, I was sure of it.

I stood up, I failed at love making. Sighing now, it felt like a good time to show him the secret room.

" Follow me." I told him.

He walked after me, covering me with my shift and dress.

I didn't care, I needed to show him my secret. After tonight, he would hate me.