Fireside secrets

Embarrassed

I finished the burgers as Coach placed the buns in the toaster oven.

The Jock sat at the counter and watched me.

I felt his gaze travel up and down my spine. Normally I didn't think about when a man gave me a double take. I didn't want the attention, I never recipocated.

But...his eyes on me made me feel things, like hot things traveling down between my legs.

" Why were you naked earlier Jan? You a secret exhibitionist or something?" he leaned forward staring at my breasts.

I touched his square chin and leveled his eyes to mine.

" Up here Jock. No I am not a weirdo. I was stuck in the laundry room and had to climb out."

He stared at my lips now.

" Okay...but why the naughty girl dancing and Christmas pagent then?" he licked his full bottom lip.

Shit...I guess I was acting like a hussy.

I looked away, embarrassed at what they must have seen me doing.

"Here's your burgers, please see yourselves out." I removed my apron and hurried out of the kitchen, my face burning now.

" Jan wait, aren't you eating?" Coach yelled to my back.

I waved my hand as I ran up the stairs to my dorm room.

I made such a fool of myself.

I couldn't let him just sit there and mock me for my actions.

The moment that I had bravely stood there singing my lungs out, naked and alone was something meaningful to me. I wouldn't expect a Jock to get me.

I had never put myself out in front of people. I kept to myself and tried to hide myself so that I wasn't made a target...never again.

I knew it was so stupid to actually think that I caused the abuse that I was scarred with all these years...I still felt like I had attracted him to me somehow.

My stomach churned, feeling the anxiety creeping in.

My hand blindly grabbed for my pills. Shaking now, I got one out of the bottle and gulped it down with some old soda.

I was never leaving my room again.

***************

There was a soft knock on my door about an hour later.

" Who is it?" I called groggily.

" Professor Bellstone."

I got out of bed and opened my door. He held out a plate of food for me.

" Took me an hour to find you Jan. I had to go to the teachers lounge and manually look you up. Hey, why did you run away?"

" My name is January. Not Jan. I guess I kind of felt out of place between all the testosterone and stuff." I said flatly.

He held his strong hand to his chest. "Ouch January, ouch."

I smiled seeing him pretending to be hurt by my words.

I motioned for him to come inside.

" Sorry, thanks for the cold food." I took the plate and set it on the table.

He looked around my room and saw a photo of me and my family on the wall.

"Oh this is you and who is the ugly girl next to you?" he quipped.

I laughed at that. It was so obvious that my sister was strikingly beautiful.

" My ugly sister April."

I let out the breath I had been holding as he looked at all of the photos on my wall.

" Oh, you fish?" he said, looking at me standing on dad's boat with a large cod in my hands.

" Born into it." I said as he continued down the wall until he stopped at my last photo.

I was looking out over a cliff, my hair blowing in the wind as the sun came up.

His finger moved over that photo in a slow circle.

" I've seen you on campus. You normally dress in bulky clothing and I would have never guessed that your body was smoking hot under all that garb January."

I stared, wide eyes at his words.

" Well, that blows my mind." I said softly.

" I'm a professor January, but I'm not a monk. I am a man after all." He smiled and my heartbeat picked up a nervous rhythm.

" Are you seeing anyone?" he asked as he stared at my photo.

" I am not much for dating. I'm just...a home body I guess." I admitted.

" Well, from now on...I forbid baggy clothing. No drab shirts or bulky sweatshirts. You will wear fitting clothes. Clothes that won't hide your beauty...ok?"

I turned away from his intense gaze. What the hell was going on here?

He walked over to me and turned my face to his.

" Eat something and get some rest." He touched my bottom lip as his mouth began to lower over mine.

I closed my eyes.

Then a loud knock.

Pound, pound, pound.

" Coach you find her yet?" the jock yelled as he pushed open the door.

Professor Bellstone let me go and smiled at Thomas.

" Yup she's found. Ok Jan have a good night now." He called as he pushed the jock out the door.

" Wait, I want to say goodnight to Jan." He said, trying to get around the coach.

" Night January, see you in the morning then?" he asked as he lunged towards me.

" Night. I'll think about it. Thanks for the invite." I said.

" Wait, are you mad at me. I'm sorry if I was rude Jan. I didn't mean to upset you." He cried as his coach shoved him out the door and slammed it shut.

No way I'm leaving this room. No way in h.e. double hockey sticks.

I ate some of the burger then went back to bed. It was not as cold as it had been before the generator was up and running.

I wondered about extra gas for it.

Where did we decide to store the extra gas?

I couldn't stop thinking about the gas.

I whiped my blankets off and jumped out of bed.

Making my way downstairs, the hum of the generator was the only sound I heard.

I slowly made my way to the basement, pausing outside of the coffee shop.

The lights were on and the boys were sitting at the counter talking quietly.

" I'm totally her type. You don't see the way she blushes when I tease her?" The Jock said as he put his arms behind his head and flexed.

" A woman like January is complicated. She needs a mature man to guide her and show her what her body can do." Coach said as he drank a beer.

Wait where did he get that beer from?

" I thought you were crushing on Miss Gold?" The Jock said.

" Naw, she gets around. Infact...aren't you and her...?" he laughed as he hit the jock in the chest.

The Jock swallowed a drink of his coaches beer.

" She is an easy A and an easy lay. I gotta keep my grades up man. But nah...I'm not tapping that. She's scary." they both laughed as they bantered about women on campus.

I moved my foot, it squeaked, then I froze as they both turned towards me now.

Clearing my throat, I swallowed.

" Ummm...have either of you checked on the gas for the generator yet?" I said, as they sat up straight hearing my voice, obviously embarrased by their conversation.

They scrambled to their feet and came over to me.

" We are on it Jan." The Jock said, taking my flashlight.

Just then the power went out. We were all in the dark once again.

Coach took the flashlight and grabbed my hand. The Jock took my other hand. I smiled in the dark.