Fireside secrets

January Holmes POV I woke up in a cold sweat breathing heavily, I think I wet my bed too. I had that dream again, well really it was a nightmare. My first and only boyfriend Adam Wilson and I met here at Greenmire college. We had dated exclusively for eight months. My reoccuring dream occurs every year at Christmas time. *************** Two years ago, Christmas eve... "We've been dating exclusively for 8 month, but it's like I'm the only one in this damn relationship and I need a hell of a lot more Jan. I mean... you are mental, you are like a frigid ice queen, just a c**k tease!" I hated when he loomed over me and raised his voice. "So... if you're ever going to make love to me, it had better be tonight!" Adam's scowling face seemed to morph into the face of my personal monster. Adam grabbed my arms bruising me as he violently shook me in s****l frustration. "Please, I'm not ready!" I winced, as my first love pushed me on the bed. This time I let him get me naked. He balled his hands into fists as though he was about to strike me, his eyes looked feral...instead, he left... walked out in a furry, never to come back. I tried, I tried so damn hard. I let him touch me. I got naked, I just couldn't go any farther. I couldn't let him touch me... there, it was like being a little girl all over again. ********** Current times, one week before Christmas. ☆°•°•☆°•°☆ I shook my foggy head, pain and embarrassment filled my gut as I got up and yanked off my wet sheets. I was already late for work. I shouldn't have taken that second anxiety pill. Dressing for the holidays, I threw up my hair and ran downstairs to the café. Of course I wore that stupid elf hat that kept falling over into my brown eyes. It was frustrating as f**k! My apron was full of coffee smudges. Tammy, my boss scowled at me to change it. " You are a mess kid, go change real quick." she admonished me. But as soon as I loosened my holiday apron to change it, Tammy called for me to get the burning food out of the toaster oven. " Kid the bagels!" The frantical onslaught of last minute breakfast orders didn't allow for any time to fix my appearance. I felt like a hot mess. " Screw it!" I flipped the apron around, it was reversible. I tightened the clean side of my festive red and green apron around my small waist and tossed my dumb elf hat on the counter. My blond and brown hair cascaded loosely around my shoulders. That's a relief. Teachers and students alike were all rushing through the tall doors of Greenmire college to catch their flights home. Feeling the cool, crisp air that rushed around me as the doors opened and closed gave me a small inner smile. My pert nose rose to that smell. Ahhhh...yes. I freaking loved the snow. My eyes fluttered closed for a tiny second as I prayed for snow this year at Christmas. When my long lashes slowly open, I was face to face with the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in ALL of my four years at Greenmire college. Who the hell was this? " Did you hear me? Order for Coach Bellstone. Hurry please." He smiled politely, though I could see him looking at his fancy Rolex impatiently. I froze a moment as I watched the fluid movements of his body, moving foot to foot in his haste to get his order and leave. He was tall and lean. The body of an athlete. He's nice... I shook my head as I quickly nodded. "Order for coach..uh Bellstone!" I cried, nearly blanking on his name he was so distractingly handsome. I turned my reddened face to the counter, Tammy was holding his order and a black coffee. She smirked, seeing my flushed face. As my embarrassment grew, I grabbed the food and turned to give it to the new coach. Only now...Professor Gold was standing by his side. She was a good 6 foot tall with long golden hair that she wore in waves around her shoulders. She had this air of s****l magnetism wrapped up in a confident ease that made her infamous. Fuck, of course they were seeing eachother. Perfect. Talia Gold taught English and was well known by most of the male, and probably a good number of the female students. There were long lists waiting to get into her classes. Not me...I took all my English in my freshman year. Here she was holding his arm intimately and batting her gorgeous eyes at him. Her pink manicured nails tapping his arm as she spoke into his ear. The coach looked annoyed though. He wasn't smiling back at her, he only nodded and looked at his watch once again. " Fine, tell him to meet me at my truck in 5 minutes. I'll give Tom a ride, but if he's late...I'm leaving without him!" He said. Professor Gold smiled and pulled up her cell phone typing a quick message. Soon the professor grabbed his food order, forgetting to pay me and ducked out the doors. I watched as Professor Gold watched him intently. She was totally checking him out too. I took the order slip and stuffed it into my pocket. I would pay it with my tips later. My thoughts were interrupted by several more orders needing to go out. I sighed. Never a dull moment at the Little Bean café... A few moments later, that Thomas Hamilton guy, our schools star quarterback came running down the main stairs. I saw Professor Gold holding his hand as he turned to her and winked at her. " Merry Chritmas Talia."He was seeing Professor Gold?, Ewww. Thomas stopped in front of me and smiled that panty dropping smile. " Can I just have the next order that is ready. I'll pay double." he said, as he looked at me warmly. Gosh I can see his allure. He's quite a hunk. Tall and muscular. Brown hair that falls over one eye rakishly. I shook my head and yelled. " Mandy? Order for Mandy!" My friend Amanda Riles approached and snuck between the angry Thomas and the rack of pastries. "Scus me." " Have a nice time in Aspen Mandy!" I said, squeezing her hand. She nodded and waved as she ran out the tall doors. Thomas growled at me. " Carmel latte, protein box now!" He said. I went as slowly as I could filling his order. Jerk. He looked at his watch. Couch Bellstone came back in from the frosty air, stomping towards the coffee shop. Oh, HE'S back to pay after all. I smiled at him. Before I could pull his order slip from my apron, he yelled at Thomas. "Move your ass. Let's go Hamilton!" Thomas grabbed his coffee and food, throwing a 5 dollar bill at me. Then they both rushed out. That's not enough to cover your bill dude! "Both of them stiffed me?Really?" I stuffed the 'gift to all women's' peasly money and food slips into my pocket and took a deep breath. Merry Christmas boys, my treat. I decided to just take care of them both and move on. I too had to hurry to catch my flight home to Port Bellows. My folks were hosting Christmas this year. My sister April was coming home from Europe, everyone in the family was coming home to see her. My sister...she was everyone's favorite. I would be happy to see her, but I knew that it would be all about her. It always was. April, April April. The last customers left the now empty hallway. Tammy had to leave early to catch her flight out, I told her I would close the shop once I cleaned up and checked the till. I paid the tickets in my pocket from my tip jar and turned to switch off the coffee pots. There was a bottle of cooking oil on the counter and as I spun in my haste to leave, my hand knocked that oil all over the damn floor. I wanted to cry. Looking around for the mop, I realized the mopheads were still in the basement where the washers and dryers were. I cussed up a storm as I stomped down to the basement. Damn, f*****g s**t, piece of s**t cooking oil! My family was decended from a long line of sailors. I could cuss that was for sure. But...usually just under my breath. I unlocked the basement door with my key and marched to the dryer. There they were all six mop heads ready for duty. Grabbing them up into my arms, I ran up the stairs. The door was shut, so I grabbed the knob and pushed. It was locked, my key still in the lock outside of the metal door. The damn door...the damn fucking.. c**k sucking door was locked and I was on the wrong side if it. I felt hot tears stinging my eyes. Frustration engulfed me. I cried out and pounded on the thick metal door. " Hey! Someone! Anyone I'm here!"