[Gabrielle's POV]
After stuffing my stomach and agreeing to a date over the weekend, I head out. I needed to go home and make sure that Rachelle wasn’t panicking over my sudden disappearance, though I doubted she was given her silence. However, I did promise her that I would accompany her to watch Hanson’s race that day, and I knew that she would give me hell if I missed it.
When I arrive home, I find her kicked up on the couch, sipping coffee, as if she didn’t have a single worry in the world.
“There you are,” she says, turning her gaze toward mine. “I was beginning to wonder if I should call the police about a missing person.”
"Lies!" I sigh, sitting my purse down and making my way over to her. “If you were truly worried, you would have blown up my phone.”
“Eh,” she shrugs. “You’re an adult, and I’m not your mother. If you managed to find yourself somewhere sketchy doing things that could get you arrested, I didn’t want to be guilty by association.”
Laughing, I plop down beside her and cuddle close while she wraps an arm around me.
“I don’t have to ask where you were,” she chuckles, sniffing my hair. “I recognize this scent, but didn’t you break things off?”
“About that,” I begin, slowly sitting up so that I can meet her gaze. “After what happened at the reunion, I just kind of found myself going to him.”
“Just going to him?” Rachelle repeats. “What does that even mean?”
“It means that I’m f****d up,” I sigh. “Even after breaking things off with him because he broke the rules, when I needed a distraction, I went straight to him, and I may have..." I continue, wondering if I should confess everything. “I may have agreed to give an actual relationship with him a chance.”
At my words, I feel Rachelle’s body jerk as she sits up and looks at me like I’ve grown a second head.
“You what?” She gasps, her eyes filled with shock and something more that I can’t quite decipher. “Are you saying that you may actually have serious feelings for him?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know." I huff, trying to make sense of what I’m feeling. “I enjoy my time with him, and being together is just like breathing, but does that mean that I have serious feelings for him?”
In the past, I was crazy about Trent, and what I felt toward Gregory was nothing like that, but didn’t they say that every relationship was different?
“Don’t tell me you’re going to actually string that poor guy along,” Rachelle sighs, relaxing ever so slightly. “If you aren’t a hundred percent sure that he is the one that you want, you should..."
“I know!” I announce, sitting up and burying my face in my hands. “I know that I’m pretty damn shitty to have gone to him like that because I saw Trent, and maybe I want to convince myself that I actually care about Gregory because of that too, but maybe I actually do care about him. It isn’t like I’m completely devoid of emotions.”
“You could have fooled me,” Rachelle giggles. “Gab, I’m saying this for your own good. Before you truly decide to get into something serious, be absolutely sure; otherwise, it is going to crash and burn in your face just like Trent did.”
As the words leave Rachelle’s lips, my eyes widen, and then pain shoots through me.
“I know!” I snap, sitting up while guilt begins to form on my best friend’s face. “I know that is a possibility.”
Slowly, I get up while Rachelle attempts to stop me, but I shake her off.
“I’m going to go get a quick shower. We have to leave soon, right?”
“Y-yeah,” she responds, seeming to deflate. “And Gab,” she continues, reaching out and grabbing my hand. “I’m only saying all of this because I’m truly worried about you.”
“I know,” I respond. “I’ll be out in fifteen.”
Later, I stand in front of the mirror, staring at the woman in front of me while trying to determine exactly who I was seeing. She most certainly wasn’t the person I was in the past, but there were similarities. Her face was almost the same as was her red hair, but her eyes, which used to shine so brightly with happiness and hope, were now dull and devoid of many emotions.
“You’ve really fallen far, Gab,” I sigh, standing up and throwing my still-wet hair into a messy bun on top of my head.
After pulling on a t-shirt and some pants, I head out of the bathroom to find Rachelle and Hanson kissing on the couch. Their bodies wrap tightly around each other, like they just can’t seem to get close enough, and they’re completely oblivious to my presence.
Clearing my throat, I wait until they finally pull apart before lifting a hand and giving Hanson a slight wave.
“Yo,” I say, trying to ignore the jealousy I feel over what I just witnessed. “Sorry to interrupt, but shouldn’t we get going?”
“Is it already that time?” He asks, examining his watch. “Seems it is.”
Untangling himself from Rachelle, he gets up and then pulls her into his arms. From Rachelle’s expression, it is clear that she wants to attack him again, but she doesn’t due to my presence.
“We should get going then,” he continues.
“Lead the way,” I announce, waiting for him and Rachelle to begin to move. “I’ll just follow along like the third wheel I am.”
Later, I find myself sitting on some metal bleachers with Rachelle beside me, clutching her purse close to her stomach. It wasn’t a secret that she feared each and every race that Hanson was in since anything could happen, but since it was something that he loved, she didn’t dare attempt to try to stop him.
“He’s gonna be alright,” I assure her, reaching out and giving her hand a squeeze. “Hanson has been doing this for years.”
“I know,” Rachelle sighs, though she doesn’t relax. “I just…”
“Worry,” I offer.
If anyone knew how painful it was to lose the one you loved, it was me, so I couldn’t blame her one bit, but I was sure that losing someone who was still alive didn’t compare to losing someone who was dead.
“Look,” I say as Hanson and the others begin to pull up to the starting line. “They’re beginning.”
Nodding, Rachelle turns her gaze toward the cars that are lined up on the track, waiting for the red lights above them to turn green so they can go.
Sitting back, I get comfortable and then pull on my noise-canceling headphones so that my eardrums don't bleed from what is about to ensue. However, as soon as they’re on, I feel someone touch my shoulder, and when I turn around, I find myself staring into blue depths.
“Trent,” I rasp as the bleachers beneath me begin to vibrate and the sound of engines revving reaches me. “Why are you here?”