Autistic Wolf

Jakarta

Let's chat more about my mate. You all can see that in my sister's story she is not talking as much. I found out something that she needed to heal from.

Her family life was a little rough. Between parents with issues and struggling to find meals, it was not until Linzi took her in that she began the process of healing. She was with Max as a way to offer protection in her college days. He took over allowing her to experience young adulthood and find ways to express herself.

Before Linzi, she was pushed behind everyone else, told what to do, how to live, and what to say. It was most definitely a form of mental abuse that seemed to give Jakarta self-esteem issues. Which caused her to lock everything inside and hideaway.

I know all about self-esteem issues. I have my own box full. Being told almost all of your life that you are autistic, that you are different, and that there may be no way I could break out of my shell what a constant hit. I was in my head. I understood everything that was being said. I just couldn't get out of my head to tell them just how wrong they were.

Years went by, my silence to my mother was heartbreaking. I wanted to tell her so many things, the most were how much I loved her. I wanted her to know just how much different we were. What I had seen about our futures and why. I knew Joe would be the best thing for mom. I knew that my biological father was going to kill my mom. My mom would never have been the Queen she was meant to be. Her wolf Would have never woken.

I am kinda glad the rogue wolf took me that day. Having Tys brought out a side that gave me the strength to get through what I heard from other mean and hurtful people. He supported me and gave me ways that could keep the words from hurting.

I do that now with Jakarta. She is not ready to have a mate or be mated. I know because she first looked at me with so much fear it hurt my heart. We spend evenings talking. I let her ask anything she wants and give her honest answers. She lets me send her pictures and doesn't seem to mind the meetings with Athens and the guys at the study.

She is the perfect mate for me. We complement each other nicely. We both have some soul work to do. She talked to my sister for the first time the other day. I was so happy she did. I want them to get along and be friends.

I was worried she would reject me like what everyone had told me might happen. She did not she told me she figure I would reject her. She said I was too nice to be meant for her. I told her I thought the same thing. It was then our conversation started. By the time we headed to the castle she wanted to stay in my room because we were ending up sleeping in each other's rooms.

I am very protective of her like I am my sister. She was hurt, and I don't ever want to have her feel that way again. She is beautiful, her dark brown almost black curls and those eyes. She amazes me. I don't want to leave to handle things with my sister sometimes. She keeps my emotions in order. If I am angry or upset she calms me. I notice she seeks safety in my arms and always stays close. I am totally fine with it. It swells my heart so much.

Jakarta is a very powerful witch I have found that her spell work is amazing. She just needs to believe in herself more. I am working with Athens to have him help her grow her power and find her limits.

He seems to think she could be powerful enough to use her powers to fight the dragons. We are still testing little bits of her skills. She needs better self-esteem to tap into that magic better. She can use light magic always. It is trying to tap the ancient neutral magic that is giving her a hard time. She can withstand it. Both Athens and I agree. It's her belief in self that is the key to her true potential.

I am positive that as she comes out of her shell, like me she will come into her power. I had full faith that the beautiful self she keeps hidden from the world will shine brightly one day. I want her, in every way but knowing she needs to build herself up and gain her power I am waiting. Her plump lips though keep calling me. I keep holding back from kissing her.

She says I am a gentleman. I feel like a predator eyeing my prey. Wanting things with her that even I don't understand. I have never been with a woman just as Jakarta has not been with a man. I need to ask Uncle Hawk how things are supposed to work. I can't ask Dad. It seems awkward to talk about anything that could be about my mom. YUCK. Even just thinking about that. YUCK YUCK YUCK. Way to take my mind off in weird ways.

I plan to ask Jakarta if it's is ok to kiss her tonight. I love our cuddles and waking up with her in my arms. The sparks feel absolutely amazing! But I am dying to know what it would be like to place my lips on her plump beautiful ones. Just thinking about it makes my insides dance. Maybe when Uncle Hawk shows up at my sister's coronation. I hope that Jakarta says yes to a kiss. Oh, Goddess how I want to. I stare at her like a creeper every morning I wake up before her. I also have to hide the morning wood that pops up. My showers take me a little longer so that it goes down by the time I get out. I might just call Uncle Hawk and ask him. The more I write this the more I am craving her. Ugh! I am just happy she wanted me. So happy she is willing to put up with Tys too.