The Twelve Days of Christmas

Chapter 20

Ben might have been annoyed with me, but it actually did me a favour. He kept his distance most of the day, talking to the staff mostly. Which gave me the distance I needed to do what I had planned to do that day. The competition was still important, but other things were way more important to me. I had already planned to take the day off from prepping for the big cake and focusing on something a little more heartfelt.

I started mixing the cake batter first. It was a simple mix and an easy task. Just simple little cupcakes for the time being. I quickly slid them into the oven and got started on the main task. I loved making gingerbread, especially at Christmas. It was something my mum and I did every year and it never failed to get me into the Christmas spirit.

Cutting out the shapes with precision, I wanted it to be perfect. That day I didn’t hear any of the chatter. I was in my own world. I was in the past with my mum. Remembering everything she had taught me. Remembering her love for baking and how she had passed it along to me. That was why I took such pride in the shop, because every single cake or cookie I made it was a tribute to my mum.

The butterfly cakes didn’t take long to finish off. They were simple but amazing, the type of cake, not my baking. Finishing them off with a little sprinkling of icing sugar before moving on to assemble my gingerbread house. It wasn’t the first time I had made either, but these were more important than most.

I needed these to be made with every ounce of love and gratitude I had. They were all I could do to show Ben and Agnes just how much I cared for them. Carefully stacking the butterfly cakes inside the four walls of my gingerbread house. Once that was done, it was on to the really fun part, decorating.

I was carefully piping away when I heard him. The others I could drown out, but not him. The second he entered the room, I was aware. Although, I wished I wasn’t. He was making the rounds. Stopping by each workstation and commenting on their work. It was all a pretense. Everything was with him. Anything to make sure people didn’t know he was paying attention to someone so far below him. After all, I was just a poor orphan. No station. No money. No power. Just me.

I might have respected him more if he hadn’t cared, but it was clear he did. He cared what the world thought and in his mind, the world would think badly of him for his association with me. It was fine. I would do him the favour of not being associated with him at all. It was better for both of us. He didn’t want the gossip, and I didn’t want the attention.

I ignored his presence and carried on with my project. Although his presence had made my hands shake a little too much, it made my work more sloppy than usual. “Hey there, stranger.” I continued to ignore his presence. It was all I could do to stay sane. Nevertheless, I looked up slightly and saw that Ben had moved closer. It was almost like he was ready to pounce on a threat to my life, not a prince trying his luck.

“Come on, there’s no need to be like that.” His hand laid on my forearm and I just looked at it lingering there. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to draw attention to us. “Noelle, come on, please.”

“Please what?” I cursed myself for the slight outburst. I hadn’t wanted to even acknowledge him, but he wouldn’t leave it alone. I knew he wouldn’t.

He removed his hand, slowly. As though my tone had burnt him. “Why did you leave the other night?”

“Was that not obvious?”

“Because of Katie?”

“No, I am sure Katie is wonderful, it was because of you.” I couldn’t keep the disgust and disdain from my voice and I could see the shocked reaction from him. He honestly thought it wouldn’t bother me. He thought his behaviour was completely acceptable, and maybe it was. I wasn’t even sure that I wasn’t overreacting anymore. Maybe I was. Maybe I had blown it all out of proportion, but it didn’t change the facts. People like him and people like me just didn’t mix. There were no fairytale endings, not for women like me.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t. I was just sick of playing your game. You don’t belong here. You don’t belong with me. Just leave me be.” He reached forward and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, just like he had done in the garden when everything had been wonderful. It stirred too much within me, and I shifted away from his touch.

“It doesn’t have to be like this. We can be different.”

“No, we can’t, and you know it. Will you just leave me alone? There are enough rumours flying around about me because of you, and I don’t need anymore.” I surveyed around us and there were more than a few of the girls looking over. Dylan had his eyes glued on us too, but that didn’t worry me at all.

He shifted and straightened, returning to his prince persona easily. “You have done some wonderful work. I look forward to seeing the finished product on boxing day.” He dusted some icing sugar off his sleeve and just walked away. I might have told him to go, even wanted him to, but it didn’t stop the regret as I watched him leave. It didn’t stop me from wondering if it was all over with, if there would be another gift waiting for me when I got back to my room.

It didn’t really matter, but it still hurt. I wasn’t sure it would ever stop hurting. Yet one more pain that I would have to bury down deep and pretend it didn’t exist. It was the only way I could cope with loss. He might not have died, but it was a loss none the less.