Chasing Her Movie Star

10: Last days of bliss

 *Amora*

 “So... I need to know what we are doing here Zac and what we are.. .you and me”. I sit at the kitchen counter with a steaming cup of tea in front of me.

 Zac is standing on the other side. He lets out a small sigh and leans over the counter, taking my hands. “Listen darling, I like you… a lot… and I like uhm ... Being with you, in all ways… but..”.

 “Always a but... but never brings anything good. It’s the age, right ? You just can’t look past it”. I feel my heart sink.

 “Actually, yes I am a bit… hung up on the age thing... sorry.  But you just… well... kinda make me feel old...and young at the same time... but…I know, the ‘but’ again. I have signed on to do another role... in New York and after that I have promotion for marvel and comic cons. I am not going to be home much the next…year almost”. His voice is soft.

 I am biting the inside of my cheek. “Oh... I see”.

 “Amora, I want it all… I want a family, kids… forever with the right woman”. His smile is pained. “But I am also f*****g scared. I tend to mess up... and my luck in the love department…yeah not impressive. Going into a relationship knowing we wouldn’t see each other more than sporadically for a year. I just can’t… I can’t fail again. Does it make sense ?” 

 “It does”. I hate to admit it, but he is right. “I get it… I do. Even if I don’t like it”.

 He looks at me. “Only way to get around it would be you dropping out of school, following me around…and I would never ask you to do that.  I couldn’t live with myself if we didn’t work out”.

 “Yeah I couldn’t…my parents would be gutted”. My parents have worked hard to send me to college and well I like going to school... I want to finish.

 “I totally understand. So maybe in a year… but, I do not expect you to sit around and wait.  I mean… I am not sure I am worth that”. He takes a sip of his tea. 

 We just sip our tea, like we are both thinking it through. I still have no doubt, I want him…for good and forever and all that, but I can also see it won’t happen now. I need to be patient apparently… Very patient. 

 “Okay...”. Zac puts down his cup. “I am gonna be totally honest with you. I would love for you to spend the next couple of days with me…but I totally get it if you want me to get you a taxi home and I respect that… completely”.

 “I… I want to stay Zac”. I look at him, knowing that I can’t go, even if I probably should. “I’d love to spend these days with you”.

 He comes around the table, standing between my legs. “Are you sure darling… like completely sure ?”

 My hands are resting on his chest. “Yes Zac... I am sure. I am a big girl and I know what I am agreeing too”.

 “I really wish it wasn’t this complicated”. He says softly, then he leans in to kiss me and the kiss makes everything else melt away... there is nothing else but him and me.

 He has one hand on my thigh and one on my lower back. I have one on his chest and ones softly pulling the hair at the nape of his neck. The kiss grows deeper and more intense.

 “Hold on”. He whispers softly and I wrap my legs around him as he carries me to the bedroom.

 2 days later:

 *Zac*

 “Hungry ?” Amora mumbles softly against my chest.

 “Hmm a bit maybe, there might be a box of cereal somewhere”. We are snuggled up on the couch, tv running on something none of us is really watching.

 She giggles softly and lifts her head. “What about some real food ?”

 “Uhm.. I don’t really…cook. I could order something I guess”. We have spent the last two days together in a cocoon of heated bliss. Hardly wearing any clothes and ignoring calls and texts.

 “Well I do… Do you have anything that can turn into food ?” She moves to get up.

 I wrap my arms around her. “But then you would … leave me. I am not liking that”.

 “Well you really have no choice. I have a plane to catch this afternoon”. She says, slipping out of my arms.

 “Can’t you… change your ticket ? Stay a little longer ?” Yeah I know I am whining. 

 She sits down on the edge of the couch, which clouds my focus a bit as she is only wearing a pair of cute panties. She combs a hand through my hair. “Zac…my parents are already questioning why I haven’t come home yet.. and you are leaving soon anyway”.

 “Maybe I could…”. The idea just hit me. “Maybe I can go with you ? Then go from there to New York. I really have nothing holding me here when you leave”.

 “Zac…that’s really sweet and all but…what would I tell my parents ? Hi guys this is Zac… he is almost your age, but don’t worry, I am not dating him, just f*****g him when he has time”.

 I feel my chest constrict. “Ouch... that was… harsh. Is that how you feel ?”

 “Sorry Zac... no. I just... I can’t really handle trying to explain you to my parents… and I don’t want to lie”. She snuggles into me and I just hold her.

 “I get it baby. I get it… it would probably be pretty awkward to be honest”. I kiss the top of her head. “I am just not ready to let you go”.

 She looks up at me. “But you have to Zac, as you said... you don’t have the time at the moment. We would just set ourselves up for failing”.

 “And what when I get back ? When I do have time ?” I ask, feeling all nervous and choked up.

 “Then...”. Her fingers slide softly down my cheek. “I will be right here… waiting for you to finally be mine”.

 I let out a small choked gasp... for some reason it makes me feel so good and so bad at the same time. “I wish we didn’t have to wait. I…maybe…”.

 “Zac, it’s okay…this is your time to shine... you deserve that. So go be a star and return to me when the time is right”. Her smile is warm and honest.

 I kiss her, pulling her up on my lap, every thought of food forgotten. I don’t want to miss a second of the time we have left.