He wants me, Only me

Chapter 4

Today was not a good day. I went all wrong about it. I should have approached it better, because the way I went about it caused a scene and now the whole school is talking about it. I was just so angry an confused in that moment. I wanted to rebel and get some form of justice for the fear I felt last night. Shane offered to walk me home and I declined; I really like him and I want to be with him. I don't want to scare him away. We had our first date and I called him over crying hysterically. I don't even know why he believed me, he couldn't find anything in the house. It was most likely just an elaborate prank and I overreacted. I threw my bag on the floor and went over to the fridge still pretty hungry. My mom had left my breakfast in the fridge for me, scrambled eggs and bacon. I placed it in the microwave and waited for the ding. I made a quick job of finishing the food. I rinsed my plate and went upstairs where I just fell on my bed exhausted. I didn't sleep all that well last night. I glanced at the window relieved the curtains were closed. It didn't take long before I was fast asleep.

Dream

I saw a long shadowed hand reach for me. It was all I could see in the darkness. I knew that if I was caught it was the end. I turned and started to run. I could feel

my body moving, but in the pitch black darkness it. didn't seem like I was getting anywhere, because no matter where I looked it was all just the same. All but the hand so I looked behind me to see if I got away. As I looked behind me I fell, I just kept falling until arms wrapped around me; shadow hands. I tossed and screamed bloody murder I woke up covered in sweat panting. I was surrounded in darkness so I jumped up and switched the lights on. That was a terrible dream. I made my way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. The house felt eary. It was to quite and every time I moved pass a shadow I flinched afraid someone would grab me. I was going

back to my room switching on every light I could. I heard my phone ringing, thinking it might be Shane I ran to my room to answer it. I answered without checking the screen. Expecting Shane's voice I was confused when I heard music playing. 

You got to spend some time, love. You got to spend some time with me and I know that you'll find love. I will possess your heart. There are days when outside your window I see my reflection as I slowly pass and I long for this mirrored perspective. When we'll be lovers, lovers at last.

(I will possess your heart, death cab for cutie)

I could feel the blood drain from my face as I listened to the words of the song playing. I was frozen in place. Then the line went dead. He only played what he wanted me to hear. Why is he doing this? Is this really Bradley? Would he do this after today. I told him I would go to the police, but with what prove. I gave him the photos and letters. Even this phone call just disappears after I've heard it. I have no prove of what is happening to me.

"Vanya you can't leave all the lights on like that. We can't afford to get a higher electricity bill. There is no overtime this month. We need to work together to not

waste money." My mom said as I sat down to eat my oatmeal and berries. I had another rough night the words of the song kept playing in my head. Lovers...is that what he wants? I'm determined not to let it get to me today. I want to forget about this or at least pretend to.

"I'm sorry, mom. I wasn't thinking." I can't tell her I was scared of the dark, she'd just feel bad for leaving me alone. She doesn't need more stress piled on her shoulders.

"It's okay sweetie, just don't do it again. You look pretty today." I had put effort into my look as a part of the whole moving on project. I'm wearing a long sleeved black and white striped top that is tugged into a brown swede A-line skirt that buttons up. With that I'm wearing thigh high black socks and black heeled boots. My hair is hanging loosely curled down my back and I added a wing to my makeup.

“Thanks mom. You look pretty too. Usually you’re still in your pj’s this time of the morning.” My mom was a beautiful woman. She has caramel coloured hair and green eyes. She is pretty thin, but it doesn’t look bad. Her uniform is a black pencil skirt with a white buttoned top and a black blazer. She needs to look presentable since she is one of the first employees the visitors of the hotel sees.

“I have a few stops before I go to work.” Sh informed me before getting back to her breakfast. I finished up and left for school. Since I’m not all that angry today, my mind isn’t distracted and walking to school seems like a very bad idea. The roads are quiet and I can’t see anyone around, but it feels like someone is watching me. I might just be paranoid, but I increased my pace. Only a little I don’t want it to look like I’m running away. When I made it to the school I was a little out of breath from the pace I kept walking the whole way. I saw Essie waving at me like a complete lunatic and then she came running towards me.

“You look FINE.” She said as she pulled me into a big hug. I hugged her back, I needed this hug. It feels like it is giving me the courage to face this day.

“So how are you today?” I saw the concern in her eyes, she was trying to hide it, but she was doing a pathetic job of it.

“I’m fine.” I lied, but it sounded believable. Just then my phone started to ring. I dug it out of my bag sending an apologetic smile towards Essie. It was a private number. I’m not answering it again.

“Unknown number, probably someone trying to sell me something.” I declined the call and put my phone back into my bag.

“You probably want me to walk you inside.” I held out my arm for her, she linked hers to mine and we walked in side by side. This time I think I needed it more than her, all eyes were on me all of them probably waiting for me to do something. I felt highly uncomfortable, but this is my fault so I just need to deal. We made it to our lockers, I packed my things away, leaving only my first two periods books in my bag. That’s when Emmett showed up throwing his arms around Essie kissing her. Just behind him trailed Bradley. I looked at him and he looked back at me. My breathing hitched. I turned to leave, but bumped into someone. Looking up I saw Shane, he hugged me and took my hand leading me away. I’m grateful for him.

“Can we talk in our first lunch break?” he asked me just before we walked into the class. I just nodded at him. The two periods went by quickly and uncomfortably. I could feel eyes on me the entire time and if I was going to look behind me, I knew I would have seen Bradley stare at me. He has been doing it since Shane came to school, maybe even before then and I just never noticed. I was glad when it was finally break time. It takes to much of my energy to smile the whole time and act like I’m not uncomfortable. I’m having class with my stalker how is that okay. Shane took my hand and lead me away in the opposite direction of the cafeteria, we went outside and ended up sitting down against the school building in it’s shade.

“I brought us some lunch, I didn’t think you’d like to be in crowds after yesterday.” Shane took out two sandwiches from his bag and two bottles of water.

“I hope you like cheese. It was the safest bet. I don’t really know what you like and what not.” I smiled at him taking a big bite out of the cheese sandwich. I’m not all that hungry now, I usually only eat in second break if I ate breakfast, but it was sweet of him to do this.

“I wanted to talk to you about yesterday…” Here we go, all I want is to forget about yesterday.

“I didn’t like it when you rejected my offer to walk you home. I really like you Vanya and I don’t want you to be afraid to ask me things or accept my offers. It was pretty awkward yesterday afternoon, we both have to walk in the same direction, but you didn’t want to walk together and I didn’t want it to seem like I was following you, so I stayed behind giving you a head start…” I’m such a loser!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about that. I just felt so stupid for causing a scene where you protected me and calling you when I was scared…I really like you to Shane and I guess I just don’t want you to see me as some damsel in distress all the time.” We were being very honest with each other and it made me really nervous. He took my chin in his hand turning my head so that I was facing him.

“I don’t mind being the hero to your damsel.” Then he kissed me, his lips felt so soft against mine, it felt right not as forced as the stolen first kiss Bradley took. I wished this kiss was my first kiss. My eyes remained closed as he pulled away. My heart was beating so fast.

“Was that okay?” He asked softly, so I opened my eyes and saw the panic in his.

“Yeah it was perfect.” Shane just makes everything so much better. He makes me forget what’s happening all around us and the crazy nest of paranoia that is forming in my mind.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I met you, I didn’t really know how you would react with everything going on, but we’ve been on a date and we’re always holding hands or hugging…”

“I’m really glad that you did it. I wanted you to kiss me after our date. I was fairly disappointed when you didn’t and then everything happened…” I drifted of not wanting to spoil the mood.

“So… What is going on between us…can I call you my girlfriend now or do you want to wait a bit and see what happens between us…” He was so cute rambling on, he must be nervous to know what I’ll say and a little part of me would like to tease him, but I’m not that mean.

“Boyfriends sounds about right.” I said nonchalantly while I was celebrating on the inside like a crazy person. I have a boyfriend!!!

“So as your boyfriend I can walk you home every afternoon?” I couldn’t help the big smile that spread on my face…as my boyfriend!!!

“Yeah…sure…okay.” Thank goodness the bell rang in that moment because I was starting to make a fool of myself. I got up and rushed away. I dug out my phone again and saw 5 miscalls from this morning all of them only a few seconds apart from when I declined. I swiped away the notification and texted Essie telling her that I now officially have a boyfriend. She replied pretty quickly freaking out about it and already planning a double date. The rest of the day went by quickly, I spend second break with Shane again this time actually finishing the sandwich that he brought for me and then I told him about the double date Essie wants us to go on this weekend. He didn’t seem to have a problem with it. After school he walked me home, all the way home. He then kissed me goodbye. My heart fluttered at his every touch. I didn’t eat that afternoon since I was still full from my lunch. I rather went to bed to take a nap.

I was woken up by my phone ringing, I truly wanted to throw it against a wall, I was finally sleeping without having any nightmares. I looked at the phone and saw that it was the private number again. I declined it putting my phone back on silent and stuffing it under my pillow. He can go and screw himself. I fell back into a blissful sleep.

I woke up from loud music bursting into my room.

One way or another, I’m gonna find ya. I’m gonna getcha, getcha, getcha. One way or another, I’m gonna win ya’. I’m gonna getcha, getcha, getcha. One way or another, I’m gonna see ya’. I’m gonna meetcha, meetcha, meetcha, meetcha. One day, maybe next week, I’m gonna meetcha

(Blondie - One way or another)

The music was coming from my window, but just as fast as it came it went silent. The words of the song haunting me. I was on the verge of crying when my door burst open.

“Vanya, it’s 2am. Everyone is sleeping you can’t play your music so loud. You have school in the morning you should be sleeping!” My mom scolded me and I was to terrified to tell her it wasn’t me. He could be just outside the window listening in. What if he comes in here and hurts my mom.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep with my phone in my hands I must have accidentally pressed play.” I lied to my mom, trying very hard to sound convincing. She sighed pulling her fingers through her knotted hair.

“It’s okay sweetie, just go back to sleep.” I nodded at her trying not to let the tears run down my cheeks. She closed my door and went back to her room. I silently got out of my bed and walked over to my window. I slowly opened the curtains. A note was pasted there. He wasn’t anywhere in sight.

I don’t like to be ignored, Vanya.

Answer your damn phone when

I call or I’ll be forced to come

And visit you.

Just I was done reading the letter my phone rang making me jump. I thought it was on silent. I quickly answered it, not wanting to anger him anymore.

The more you ignore me, the closer I get, You’re wasting your time, The more you ignore me the closer I get. You’re wasting your time.

There was a pause and then the song started up again.

When you sleep I will creep into your thoughts. Like a bad debt that you can’t pay, take the easy way and give in. Yeah let me in. Oh let me in, Oh let me in, Oh let me in. It’s WAR.

(The more you ignore me, the closer I get - Morrissey)

The line went dead. I was sitting on my bed crying my eyes out clutching the blanket against my chest. What am I going to do!?

The rest of the week continued just the same he called me everyday playing one or another song fragments that he wanted me to hear. I never dropped his calls. I didn’t want him to get angry at me. There was one song I couldn’t get out of my mind. The song sounded so eary almost hauntingly. It’s the one song that he made me listen. He once again only played the part that he wanted me to hear.

The night is my companion and solitude my guide, would I spend forever here and not be satisfied.

It described him stalking me at night, then it moved on:

I would be the one to hold you down, kiss you so hard, I’ll take your breath away and after I’d wipe away the tears. Just close your eyes dear.

Now it’s about what he wants to do to me. It made my skin crawl.

My body aches to breathe your breath, your words keep me alive.

He was telling me how much he needs me. Signaling to how breathing keeps us alive. This made me wonder to no end if he might be thinking about taking my breath away, does he mean that in a romantic sense or does he plan on killing me.

Nothing stands between us here and I won’t be denied. And I would be the one to hold you down, kiss you so heard, I’ll take your breath away and after U’d wie away the tears. Just close your eyes dear

(Possession - Sarah Mclachlan)

He wanted me to know there is nothing I can do. He won’t let me reject him anymore!

It also hinted that I will be seeing him soon.