Triple the Love

Hopeless...

Corey

Neither of us said a word as we left Hank’s house. All I felt was despair. Hank’s reaction had been far worse than I could have imagined. I had known Hank would freak out, but hearing him call us insane, seeing the look of disgust in his eyes, it had crushed whatever hope I had felt. Jack drove us to my place, but the silence stretched on. Both of us were lost in thought. Both of us probably felt rejected. The tension was heavy between us, and I had no idea what to do or say. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it wouldn’t go away. The ache in my chest felt like it was too much. It was as if I was losing Hank all over again. As if the possibility of fixing things had just slipped through my fingers. As soon as Jack pulled into my driveway, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I scurried out of the car and inside as fast as my legs would carry me. I barely made it to the living room before I started to cry. The tears came rushing out, hot and angry, broken-hearted and sad as it blurred my vision as I desperately tried to catch my breath.

“Corey,” Jack whispered as he joined me on the couch. He didn’t say anything else, and he didn’t make a move to touch me as he merely sat there. His presence, alone, felt like a small comfort in the midst of the storm that was raging inside of me. But the silence was unbearable. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. None of this was supposed to happen.

“He hates me,” I managed to get out as I sat up and glanced over at Jack. I kept wiping my eyes, but the tears kept coming. “He thinks…I’m disgusting…he is never going to forgive me,”

“Corey, Hank doesn’t hate you. He is just…hurt…and angry. But that doesn’t mean that this is over,” Jack said as he shook his head and placed his hand on my shoulder. I couldn’t allow myself to believe him. I had seen the way Hank had looked at us. The way he had looked at me. It felt final. Irreversible. “We will try talking to him again…we just need to give him a bit more time to calm down and maybe then he will listen,” as much as I wanted to believe him, I couldn’t.

“No, Jack…it’s over. It’s really over. He is never going to give us a chance,” I stated as the tears started to subside. My hands trembled as I studied the floor of my living room.

“You don’t know that…Hank is stubborn, but right now he isn’t thinking logically. He is emotional because he is angry and hurt. He just needs some time to calm down. To think about it and then-”

“No,” I interrupted. My voice was barely above a whisper as I felt Jack’s fingers tightened on my shoulder. “He thinks we are crazy, he isn’t going to change his mind,” the pain in my chest swelled again, and I could feel a fresh wave of sobs threatening to break free. I had been the one that had messed up everything. Not with Hank, but with Jack too. Jack had come up with this idea, and we had taken a big risk, but it had been for nothing. “It would’ve been great,” I muttered.

“And it still can be. I know that you are upset about this, and so am I…but Hank just needs some time to himself. We have already planted the seed, Corey. Trust me, he will be thinking about it,” Jack said, and I knew he was right. “And just remember, boy, Hank is upset so he will say anything to get us away from him. He needs some time to heal…to think about it…there wasn’t anything more we could have done or said,” I nodded at that and even though I didn’t want to, I clung onto the hope that maybe, just maybe Hank would think about it and change his mind.

“I’m scared, Jack,” I admitted softly. “I’m scared that I have ruined everything…that I am going to lose both of you,”

“Hey…hey now, you haven’t lost me,” Jack remarked firmly as he moved his hand from my shoulder to where my hand rested on my lap. He took my hand in his and inched a bit closer. “No matter what happens, I am not going anywhere,” his words felt like a lifeline, but it didn’t erase the fear that had rooted itself deep in my chest. Jack may still be here, but Hank was gone. Jack inched even closer and tugged me toward him as he wrapped his arm around me in a side hug. I leaned into him, the warmth of his embrace soothed the ache in my chest. But still, the pain of Hank’s instant rejection still lingered. Sharp and unforgiving.

“I am so sorry, Jack…for everything,” I apologized as I rubbed my cheek against his chest. Jack didn’t say a word as he held me closer. “And I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess,” I added.

“You didn’t drag me into anything. We are in this together, and we will get through it together,” he whispered, and his words felt like a comforting blanket that wrapped around me. I shut my eyes and sighed heavily. I had no idea if Hank would come around, and I had no idea if Jack and I could be in a relationship now that we had discussed being with Hank as well. I had a horrible feeling that if Hank rejected the idea completely – and again – that I would not only lose Hank, but I would certainly lose Jack.

“Ok,” I said as I snuggled even closer, seeking not only the warmth of his embrace but just to be near him. To feel him against me. I wasn’t sure how much time Hank needed, but I silently hoped it wouldn’t be too long. I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait around for much longer. I wanted to know if this was ever going to work or if I should just pack up my life and move back home.