A hopeless kind of love

Chapter 8: First time

Chapter 8

Elle

Cody opens the door to our apartment and I sit down on the couch.

"So what do we do now?" Cody asks sitting beside me. He looks so innocent when asking the question.

"I have an idea", I say.

And with that, I press my lips onto his. I sit in his lap and lock my legs around his waist while my arms rest on his shoulders and my hands wander off in his hair.

Cody’s hands rest on my waist as he kisses me back. The kiss is so warm and comfortable.

The kiss quickly turns aggressive and Cody lays me down on my back on the couch as I start to unbutton his shirt.

Cody's hands start to caress my thighs and as he pulls up his hands, the dress follows and he pulls it off me.

I immediately put my arms over my stomach to shield myself. It's a reflex, I'm not embarrassed in front of Cody. I’m just embarrassed overall.

"No don't do that", he tells me, as he removes my arms. He scans my body, I only have a bra and panties on now. "You're so beautiful".

I put my hands on his neck and press down his head closer to me and crash my lips onto his again as I start to pull down his jeans while he starts to fiddle with the clasp of my bra and it pops off.

Cody starts kissing my neck and I moan low. Oh, this feels so good.

Cody starts to work his way down and kisses me on my chest, then between my breasts, and down to my stomach. Oh, it feels soooo good. So good. My fingers go under the hem of his boxers.

Cody works his way up again and as he starts to kiss my neck, I start to kiss his neck.

I hear Cody moan low, just like me.

I feel something hard poke my inner thigh and I know exactly what it is. I start to pull down Cody’s boxers that right now has to be a bit uncomfortable for him.

But Cody stops my actions when I'm halfway through it.

"Wait Elle, are you sure you wanna do this?" He asks.

I nod.

"Of course, it would feel wrong to not do it", I say.

And I have never agreed more with myself in my whole life. What I said now, is so right. It really would feel so wrong to not do it. I love Cody with all my heart and I want all of him.

"Really?" Cody asks.

"Yeah, I want you", I say. "I want all of you Cody".

And with that, he starts to kiss me again.

"I want all of you to Elle", he mumbles between the kisses.

I continue my action of pulling down Cody’s boxers and he starts to pull down my panties.

Now we're completely naked. But I flip Cody over so I end up on top. I don't think that's how Cody wants it though, because he chuckles and flips us again, but the couch ended, so we end up falling down on the floor.

We don't care though, we continue just as if we were still on the couch. Cody puts his tip into my entrance and starts to push himself inside of me.

It hurts.

Yes I'm a virgin. And yes I'm twenty. But s*x doesn't have an age. You don't need to do it as soon as you can. You should have s*x with the one you truly love. I've never been in love, so I've never had a reason to have s*x. But now I do. Now I have Cody.

It hurts like crazy though. Does it always hurt like this the first time? I've heard that it does. But also from some, who said that it didn't hurt at all. I guess that it's different from girl to girl. It doesn't hurt for guys.

I don't make a sound. But I guess that Cody sees it on my face, because he starts asking me if he should stop, I tell him no.

I don't think it's a good idea to stop right now. We need to finish what we've started because after this painful first time, it will only get better and better.

Now Cody is fully buried, and I feel a really uncomfortable ripping inside of me. It hurts so much.

Cody slowly starts to pull himself out and then in again, out and in, out and in.

And after a while, I start to feel something pleasurable, but it's such a tiny feeling, that I almost can't feel it.

Cody’s pants get heavier and heavier, and I can feel that he's gonna explode very soon.

Before I even had time to think that, Cody softens inside of me and falls down beside me.

I kiss his cheek as I turn to my side and paste my body against Cody.

Cody wraps his arms around me and kisses my head.

"I love you Cody", I whisper and yawn.

"I wish I could explain in words how much I love you Elle Olsen", Cody says.

I yaw one more time before I feel my eyes getting heavier and I fall asleep.

•

When I open my eyes the next morning I feel really stiff in my whole body. I don't really know why. I just feel Cody’s warm body beside me.

I realize that we're lying on the floor. What the hell? Why are we ... Oh right. Yeah, now I remember.

I kiss Cody’s cheek and he starts to stir.

He opens his eyes, revealing those beautiful eyes of his.

"Well good morning beautiful", he says with a sexy morning voice.

"Hey sexy voice", I say, and Cody chuckles.

I stand up. Trying to wake up my body. I'm really sore after sleeping on the floor an entire night.

I stretch out my hands for Cody. He takes them and I pull him up.

"Okay, we're never sleeping on the floor again", Cody says. "Even the tent beds seem cozy compared to this, and they really are a back killer".

I giggle.

"Well, I guess that we get to inaugurate our new bed tonight instead", I say.

Cody wraps his arms around my waist and pulls my naked body close to his.

"Yeah, and I don't know about you, but I'm gonna sleep like a baby", he says. "I mean, that bed must be a lot more comfortable than the floor".

"Yeah, I guess that it has to be", I agree with a foolish grin on my face.

Only Cody can make me smile like this. I love how Cody makes me feel. There is no one like him. No one was as good for me as him.

But I can't give him what he wants.

I know very well that he wants a family. But I don't know. I mean, I can do the whole be-a-wife part. But not the mother part. I just can't. I've never wanted children. And I can't see how that's ever gonna change. I won't change my mind. I don't think anyway.

Maybe I will. Maybe.